Small steps

Our little incorporated city outside Swampland announced they would begin picking up fallen tree limbs on September 15. They would have a second pick up on the 20th. The first announcement was the tree limbs could be 6-8 feet long and stacked at the curb. The second announcement, coming well after people had labored to put their limbs out - with no power, said they had to be 4-6 feet long and bundled. Well . . .

So the trucks came and went - along with a police escort (? valuable items there ?) and a public works truck. They tentatively ventured onto our street only to apparently flee in horror. Our street wasn't really all that bad. They scoured the entire village, and finally, today, we were graced with the long awaited debris pick-up.

They made three separate trips to our street to pick up those limbs. I guess there was more than I thought, but then the truck that was picking them up really wasn't all that big.

Now the street looks like another hurricane came through. There are limbs, branches and leaves scattering the entire street. But at least the mounds are gone. I am very pleased on two counts. One is safety. They were hard to see around. The second is that gives one less hiding place for those little blood sucking mosquitos!

Where did that $5 come from?

Well, that title isn't exactly accurate. This is really about one - Lady Bug. She is my darling 7 1/2 year old granddaughter. She pulled a real stunt Sunday night into Monday.

She has decided she wants a skate board (why??) more than anything in the world. She doesn't want to wait for Santa to bring it - she wants it now.

She had about $3 that she said she was saving to buy the dream board from the local sports store. She helped her mom clean the den and was told she earned $2 more. That was like all the money in the world for her.

She was with me on Monday. At one point she proposed that I ask her a difficult question, and it she answered it correctly I would give her $1. I told her that I don't play that game. As a side, she is a very intelligent child. The problem is that she knows it! That often presents a problem when she is sure she knows everything. Anyway, back to the story.

She showed me the money she had accumulated. When she opened her purse, her dollars went flying everywhere. I had her bring the money and her wallet to me. We straightened the bills and put them into the wallet - properly. That's when I saw she had a five dollar bill. I thought it to be strange, but dismissed it.

When she was went home, she told her mother that I had asked her the capital of Arizona which she answered correctly, and I gave her $5. K called me because she thought it was cute and another example of my spoiling my grandchild. She was going to tease me about it. I told her the REAL story. The real story hit K like a brick. She then knew what happened to the $5 she had in her wallet.

K asked Lady Bug if she wanted to tell her anything. LB told her that she took the money from her wallet when K was in the shower. K was crushed. It isn't that she is burying her head in the sand, but she didn't know it would happen so soon.

As a consequence, they removed her TV from her room (good move), took all the Hannah Montana stuff away (yea), and all the High School Musical stuff (double yea). She is restricted from the Disney Channel's teen age based shows. I am so glad. She has been pushing the teenage years since her step-sister came to live with them when she was four. M has been gone for two years, but the horror of her living with them remains. (I tried to find posts to link to about the darling girl, but I can't find any).

Lady Bug's actions were those that we would have expected from M. It was so typical of her. We all know that LB is going to try a lot of stuff, I guess we just didn't expect it this soon.

FInally!!

I finally got to have my post-op appointment with the plastic surgeon. I was supposed to go to him the 12th of September. The move of his office stopped that! So I was supposed to go on the following Monday. Ike changed that. They were finally in the office on Tuesday, but we were gone.

I called on Wednesday to make an appointment for this week. When I talked to the nurse, I asked what I should be doing. She asked if I could find a doctor or nurse where we were to have the "boulsters" over the nipple removed. Funniest thing - we have a nurse on the next hill.

So I called J, she called the nurse at the surgeon's office, and I had the boulsters removed. It was such a relief. They looked like four cotton balls and were stitched to the nipple and surrounding breast tissue. It was a real relief when those stitches were cut.

My appointment was for today - at the new office. It should have not caused me any anxiety. It is next to his old office. But we are talking Medical Center here. One of the largest medical centers in the world. I am scared silly of the Medical Center. I also am scared of the parking situation. Many times, there is a loooong walk included with the parking space.

The old office was great. They had valet parking that was right at the door. It was $10 or less, and it was right at the door. I had that one nailed! But now I was faced with a new situation, and I don't handle change well at all.

I was early - very early because our Freeways are a mess - all day. I don't know why, but they are. So I left super early. I turned onto the street where I would normally turn thinking that the two buildings were connected. I noticed the new office had its own parking garage. I turned around to go to a street where I knew there were some places to park so I could call the office.

I had to park in the new building. I found the valet parking, but there were no signs about the cost. I worried the entire time I was in the office because I had $24 to my name at the time.

I was checked. I have some redness that we both (the doc and I) believe is dermatitis. I reacted to wearing that surgical sports bra for days on end. I have a very itchy rash. He decided I needed to have another round of antibiotics just to be sure. Then the very best. He had the nurse remove the drain. Heaven!! No more pulling of the stitches. I was absolutely in heaven.

I managed to find the place to pay parking. It was different from the valet ticket. I used my credit card. I went to rescue the truck. The person in front of me didn't pay anything. I handed over my ticket. No money was requested, and in fact the attendant looked shocked when I tipped him.

So I was homeward bound. The trip home reminded me Swampland isn't back to normal yet. I encountered 3 or 4 traffic signals that were still out. There were police directing traffic at those locations. That part of the trip wasn't as easy as usual. The lights are usually synchronized so that if you drive the speed limit - you don't stop. Well, it wasn't bad even so.

Ah, another day, another adventure!!

What happened to us

I have heard that it is catahartic to talk about bad experiences. Well, I guess that's what I'm going to do.

I wasn't in the least afraid of Ike. I thought it would just be a pain in the a**. Was I wrong. It was quite scary. I kept thinking the thing would turn north - much sooner than it did. It was really amazing to watch that huge thing heading for the Texas coast.

Our lights managed to stay on with some blips until 1am on Saturday. That is a feat because they usually go in a heavy dew with a puff of wind. Of course, G waited until Thursday evening to check the generator. It wouldn't start or at least keep running - same thing. So I knew we were toast!

Saturday my daughter had her power restored. She is on the same grid with the police and fire stations. They said a tornado had taken out the high voltage lines and a couple of transformers. They looked to have our little suburb's power on by 2am Sunday.

We thought we could certainly stand it for that long. SO we stayed. Dark, dark, hot and humid. It was 81 outside at 10 pm with the humidity at 91% - NO wind. We thought we were going to die. We also figured out at 10 that the power company had quit at 8.

Sunday we stayed with our son. G wasn't comfortable in that bed. It was so much better than our couch where I slept. With the coming of a cool front on Monday we returned home. Still no power, but at least it was cool.

We promised each other that if the power wasn't restored by 1 pm on Tuesday we were gone. We spend Monday throwing away food that was in the refrigerators. At least it was cool that night. On Tuesday 1 pm came and we left. My daughter called and told me that the power came on at 4.

Oh well. We are now actively looking for a new freezer which we had promised each other before the storm so we can collect our meats from the kids' freezers. Much of the vegetables were saved. We are continuing with our lives and really appreciating lights, air conditioning and INTERNET!!

Alive

We survived Ike. No real damage. Escaped for a few days to the SSB when we had no power, only to have it return 4 hours after we left Swampland. More later! How nice to have internet again.

I don't like Ike! (and I know that;'s not original)

I sit here with the eternal droning of our local "news' people following Ike. This has been going on, without interruption, since at least 6 a.m. yesterday. The worst part is that during the day, cable is not great - at least not what G would tolerate since his business is shut down today.

I am amazed at the dolts in Galveston and associated areas that are still there with the storm about 12 hours away. Things are already dicey there, and the rain has JUST begun. There are going to people on tops of roofs (if they are left after the huge storm surge) with no one to save them. The island is flooded already. I don't know what they are going to to!

We are sitting here in the northwest area. I'm expecting quite a blow and I'm praying that the flooding will be minimal. We have lived here for 34 years and never flooded, but as subsidence has taken it's toll, houses behind us have flooded - with a couple of feet of water in them. The county and city have been working on this issue, but there hasn't been a test of all this. Say a prayer for us that this is not our year to flood.

My drain and I sit here, anticipating the power leaving us soon. It will go out on a bright, sunny day. I'm sure we will be out at least 16 hours. I just hope it's not several days. G decided to try to start the generator - yesterday. Guess what. No go. Our talk about getting a new one - well that will come after all this is cleaned up. It may be a Christmas present. I finally got a portable battery device that will at least run a fan. It is scheduled for delivery on Monday. I think not. I don't look for Fed Ex making their appointed rounds.

I think we will weather this storm, but remember us and the other fools that have stayed in this and the more dangerous areas!

He was right!

The surgeon said this would be easier. It, so far, is. The surgery lasted about half as long as predicted, and I was home the same day.

Yesterday I just lazed around. There is some soreness from the lipo. It's not too bad. I just wish I could get rid of this "sports bra" that is more like an ace bandage with straps. I know it's meant to hold things tightly in place, but I really am tired of it!

The surgeon wanted me to call his office yesterday to get an appointment for Friday with the idea that he would take the drain out. He is moving his office today and tomorrow. Ummm - I called yesterday, got the answering machine, and still no call back. I am beginning to believe I won't get an appointment for Friday. That means the first time I can get the drain out now will be next Tuesday. He is in surgery all the other times.

Oh well, I guess I will live through it all. You would think I would have more patience by now. Guess not!

D day or is it O day?

Yep, tomorrow is the day for stage two of the reconstruction operation. To say that I'm apprehensive is an understatement. I just wonder how sore I will be - especially since both sides will be involved. It will include about a 6 inch long incision on the right side, a new incision to take the expander out and put the implant in. The left side will include reduction with replacement of the nipple and "a little lipo." I have a feeling that little lipo is not going to feel very good.

I will have to stay overnight. That part doesn't really bother me that much. I would rather be home, but I have learned my lesson.

We are having the kids over tonight for family dinner. That means I must get up and start cooking!

Good news

I called Dr. Poison's office to get the report on my bone scan. It "just" showed arthritis. Arthritis in the lumbar spine, cervical spine, knees (gee ya' think?), ankles and feet. What a surprise, but I am so thankful that is what is showed.

I guess I can continue to think of myself as a survivor again. This is really a relief.

The plastic surgeon's office called to be sure that surgery is still on. He has an assistant surgeon that they would have to notify as well. I had told them we are set to go.

G bought me the last book in the Twilight series. I decided that I wanted to read the entire series, so I went to my favorite on line book store and ordered those books. The first one came last week, and I have read it. Then volume 3 came. I was a little surprised when I opened it. It was in Spanish! Volume 2 is on its way. I sincerely hope it's not in Spanish too.

I just went through the process to return it, now I have to print the forms and mail it all off. I just wish I knew how in the world I managed to order a Spanish version. I was disappointed that it was the 3rd volume, but I was crushed that it was in a foreign language!

Gustav

This is not real news since it has been announced all over the country, but Gustav was a bust. The locals here (with the exception of the network with the MD telethon) covered the "news" until noon. I guess they can only show so many downed . . . leaves from trees. True, I believe there was minor flooding in New Orleans, but it wasn't the "mother of storms." I couldn't determine if the reporting was really serious or if they were a little tongue in cheek trying to make damage out of no damage, like the downed paper political sign.

I doubt people will evacuate with the next storm that comes knocking at their doors. Some of those folks spent hours and hours in traffic (like with Rita), and paid high gasoline prices only to then add hotel/motel rooms to the mix. Several who made it to Swampland with reservations found that those reservations didn't mean anything. Sure, they could have paid ahead to have the room saved or called when they found themselves in traffic bottlenecks, but THIS time was supposed to be smooth. My heart goes out to them regardless.

I am really thankful that there seems to be so little damage. Some areas were hit pretty hard, but even so it was much less than expected.

Of course, the weather gurus have at least two more out there to satisfy their desire to whip us into a frenzy!

Such is the life on the coast of Texas and the Eastern United States. These come and go, along with the frenzied weather people (at least here in Swampland).

Visits done.

I survived three days of visiting medical facilities. I also burned up a lot of expensive gasoline!! In those three days, I managed to put 100 miles on my vehicle.

The first trip was to the Medical Center downtown to visit the plastic surgeon. I think I'm going to be really sore for a while after he gets through with me, but according to him this is an easy one to recuperate from. I so wanted to retort that it wasn't HIS body!!

The next trip was to the local medical center where I got all my chemo and radiation, and if fact has the mastectomy. That was for the bone scan and shoulder x-ray. I was to be there at 9:30 (for paper work). I was worried about parking because this place has only been open since about January 2007. I think they thought the place was plenty big, but it has become so popular the entire place is bursting at the seams. Parking is a premium! They have added parking once, and now are building a parking garage. They are also building a second professional building. My worries were for naught however. There was a handcapped place - at the door!

I filled out the paper work. I HATE filling out the medication form. I wish they could find my records and just up date them, but it never works that way. It is always a generic check in. But it went well all things considered.

I was taken back to get the injection of the radioactive substance. Since only the left arm can be used now, I was, as always, a little apprehensive. I'm so afraid that someday, somehow, that vein will be blown - forever. They tried to reassure me with the fact that it was just a little butterfly. I don't care - it's a needle and it hurts! And it did, but all went well. I was to return at 1.

Before that I had to get my x-ray. The technician was a really handsome young man who was very soft spoken. That's not good for a person who taught junior high school for almost all 29 years of teaching, and played the organ for church (it had no external speakers - only the ones under the keyboards). I AM a little hard of hearing. But he began to realize this and spoke a little louder as we went on. After we were through, he came back in. He asked why I was having the x-ray, and I told him for possible restaging my cancer. He said the funniest thing then - he said "then you know you have breast cancer." It was all I could do to keep from bursting out in laughter. He was so earnest I just couldn't have made a joke out of it!

Yesterday I was up late since Simone had another sick spell on Wednesday night, and I spent the night up with her. I decided since it was already so late I would make the trek to the hospital where I will have surgery. It is not close, but it was the best choice from the ones where plastic guy does surgery. I didn't go fasting last time, and they were concerned with the blood sugar. So this time, I would not eat until I was back.

My timing was really terrible. There was still a room full of people waiting for their loved ones to get out of surgery. I finally got in to register, and they didn't need any labs on me since I had been there in May! Mixed feelings about that!!

But my treks are over for a while. Now I can concentrate on Gustav. I tend to make fun of the weather people here, but there is a great deal of uncertainty with this storm. We really need to be prepared I think.

August 28, 1912

Happy 96th birthday Daddy. How I wish you were here.

I really thought I would finally be over you not being here, it's not happening. It may happen someday, but I don't know when. But you are still alive in my heart.

This and that

Now the real waiting begins. The bone scan is done. I just have to wait for the results.

I was rather amused however. When the first part of the scan was over, the technician asked if my knees, ankles, and feet hurt. Um - yeah! Apparently that arthritis came through like a beacon. I knew the knees were bad, but not I know ankles and feet are too.

Tomorrow I head over to the hospital where my surgery will be done to pre-register. I was going to go fasting, but I looked at the orders. NO WHERE on those orders does it indicate I should be fasting. I'll take my last report with me though. They can make a copy.

Our local news is going nuts with Gustav out there. They started several days ago, but now it is the lead off story on each newscast. I love it when they say that they only have an idea where it will go until Friday, but after that. Oops - he just said we have a 5% chance here. Oh, they are going to be so disappointed with that!!

A little relief

I met with the plastic surgeon for my pre-op with him. I shared the topic of the last PET scan. He made me feel better about it and more positive about the bone scan tomorrow.

His opinion is that the test is over a year old and if there were mets to the bone, there would be more symptoms now. He feel pretty sure it's arthritis.

He also said the bone scan should show that it is really arthritis. I like those words.

I hate waiting!!

Waiting has never been one of my strong suits. I remember waiting for Christmas as a child. It was terrible. My mom would begin putting presents under the tree. I would sneak in and carefully pull open the tape. I just couldn't stand them sitting there hiding their secrets from me.

Now I find myself waiting again, but this time it is something much more important. I can't even get the bone scan until Wednesday, and then it will be about four days before I could find out any results. I really don't think the results will be conclusive. I also am not sure his nurse will give me the results over the phone. So that means more waiting.

I really am not going to have extensive surgery on the 8th if I have mets. There is no reason for it. I;ll have about 3 inches of excess tissue removed around the reconstruction that has been left over the previous surgeries. That will mean another drain, and it will be painful. I am looking at an incision about six inches long. I won't be able to sleep on that side.

I am not sure how much pain I will have from the reduction on the left. I'm sure there will be pain since there will be a nipple relocation. Of course, the surgeon thinks this will be easy. It's not his body!!

G, deep down, wants me to find another oncologists. He has never liked Dr Poison. Neither of us knows exactly how to go about this. I am not sure another oncologist would be willing to take the case. I feel really let down by BOTH the oncologist and the radiation oncologist to allow this report sit since June 27, 2007.

All I can say it I hope that the radiation doctors felt there was nothing to it, but Dr Poison is all upset - now. I think he would like me to have had an MRI like Friday! At this point, time is no longer of the essence.

SO tomorrow is my pre-op with the plastic guy. I will share all this with him, and tell him of my decision. Well see what happens.

Letting things fall out

My feelings settled? No so much. I have the appointment for the bone scan. It will be Wednesday. I could have had it on Tuesday, but I have the appointment with the plastic surgeon. I wish I could have the results of the scan before this appointment with the surgeon.

I think I can get results before surgery. Dr Poison said I could call after about four days for results. I won't see him again until September 16. If they appear to be bad, I really think I am going to modify my plans. I think I'll just have the implant put in and forget the rest. I can't see going through all that if, well, you know.

So now I am left to wonder. Is the pains I have because of the aggravation of the arthritis due to Lipitor and Femara, or has bone cancer spread throughout my body. All I know is I am much worse off than I was even last year.

The "little c" is threatening to become the "big c" again. I guess more prayer is called for.

So now what?

I had my appointment with the oncologist today. It was a horrible appointment, and I am left with all sorts of unanswered questions. The only up side is that I see him again on the 16th. That should tell you things are not good.

He read the report from my blood tests. The markers that I always worry about were fine, but then he said something about another being elevated. He THEN asked about when I had my last colonoscopy. That put me on edge.

He then started reading the report from my last PET. That was before I started radiation. It showed some masses in the upper humerus and in some of the thoracic vertebrae. It was suggested that I have an MRI to further determine if they were masses or arthritis.

As I was going to tell him that I didn't think I am a candidate for an MRI, he was called to the telephone. He was gone quite a while. I also read the report then.

That brought another puzzling thing. My blood sugar (and I don't remember blood being taken at the time) was 165. So the report said that the elevate blood sugar could have had an effect on the reading. In my labs from the cardio doc, the blood sugar was also slightly elevated. Great - another problem.

So now we are going for a bone scan and x-ray of the right shoulder. The bone scan won't be definite. It will show tumors as well as arthritis. So now my thoughts are ok, is my arthritis that much worse or do I have metastasis to the bone? Why did it take a year and two months to read that report from the PET?

My mood is not real good right now.

I think I goofed - agan

I have been going over Saturday night's dinner with family in my mind, and I think I have royally goofed - again.

We were talking about G's aunts (the remaining two) who live here in Swampland. I was asked about the oldest one who is taking all the deaths in the family so hard. We are all really worried about her mental state.

I made the remark that I call her frequently. Oops. I think I said the wrong thing. MIL had put B on a guilt trip about not coming to see her, and we don't either. The Alamo City is out of the way when we go to the SSB, and when we return on Monday a stop there would put us here in the teeth of rush hour(s).

G doesn't even call her. He called on Mother's Day, and the conversation lasted about five mnutes with neither one talking. So he doesn't call.

He has long known that he was not the precious child for either of his parents, but mom made it abundantly clear. Her dislike of her first born carried over to his family. The cousins were preferred to my kids. She has verbally attacked me on two occasions. I trust her like I trust a cornered rattlesnake.

I'm surprised she didn't take offense, and perhaps she did. I call Aunt W because we truly love each other and care about how the other is doing. This may sound really cold, but I am not going to lose any sleep over a possible snub to MIL. You get what you give.

Soap opera weekend.

This was certainly an interesting weekend. Things didn't go at all as expected.

We were planning to go to Wide Spot Community Club. There were four hosts for said event - which was to be he ice cream social. Ok. Last year, there was dinner before the ice cream. This year the four people only got the bowls, spoons, ice tea, and some cookies. Gee that was so difficult. When we were hosts (G's brother and sister-in-law and us), we had a meal plus dessert. And neither of us live in the area. We all have to drive in. I told another neighbor, who also was expecting food, that the times to host are the covered dish supper and the ice cream social. You don't have to do anything.

Lady Bug had a great time. Before her second cousin arrived, she was with an 18 month old little girl. They had a famous time! It was just as well. When cousin arrived, he seemed to be a little distant. I didn't know at the time this was a foreshadowing of what was to come.

I was greatly surprised that my MIL was present. She usually backs out. I guess she was so tired of being at her Independent Living place that she would make the 2+ hour trip. She was going to stay with P and M instead of her daughter. Hmmmm. That made me wonder, but it was later explained.

We went to P and M's house for dinner Saturday. I got the low down on little sister. We were able to talk without MIL hearing because we don't know just how much she knows about that situation. More elephants in the rooms!!!

As dinner approached, Cousin became belligerent. He was going to have cookies and ice cream for dinner. Nothing more to be said. M is a psychologist, so she removed him from the situation for a discussion. When he returned, the same scene played out again. He put himself in time out and dinner proceeded. Lady Bug sat at the bar and ate well (it was spaghetti - surprise!).

Lady Bug finished her dinner and went to play with Cousin. After a bit, she came out and had a strange look on her face. We asked what was wrong, and she replied that Cousin had hit her in the stomach several times. He had a complete meltdown. He became uncontrollable, and was crying uncontrollably. We had OUR ice cream for dessert, and decided that it was time to leave.

Sunday night we had little sister over for dinner. She had taken MIL home, and I thought she wouldn't have to worry about dinner that way. I had learned that her 17 year old son had left home. This is rather amazing because little sister has been divorced for at least 10 years, and son had been kicked out of dad's house! So he came to Little Town to live.

For the first couple of months, he was great, but he soon found friends (some were 22) who weren't good for him. At least he completed the school year, but he was soon fired from his job. He quit coming home, didn't call, etc. I noticed this behavior when we were last there five weeks ago.

He tore up the Jeep Cherokee little sister was giving him. He also verbally abused him. She still tried to find him and get him in line. The Sheriff told her that he couldn't do anything because son was 17. When dad called last week, Sheriff immediately jumped and found the boy to turn over to dad.

At least I know that son is no longer in the area. I worry since there are two houses right there that are empty most of the time. I don't, and haven't for a long time, trusted that boy. At least he is back a couple of hours away again, and it was made clear neither he nor his father was welcome. Yeah! I'm so glad they are both banned. They were trouble, especially during the hunting season.

This weekend really had the trappings of a soap opera!

Uck!

This is a day of the good and bad. There is, fortunately, no ugly!!

The good is we are headed off the the SSB with Lady Bug in tow. That will be fun - I hope. I just got an email from my SIL, and she will have their grandson, who is madly in love with Lady Bug. It will be good for both of them. No parents, just grandparents.

The bad is I have apparently contracted a cold. My throat is scratchy, and I am a little congested. It could be an allergy. I went out yesterday to get some ultra-suede that was on sale (50% off so I'm getting more on Tuesday!!) and got my hair cut off. I don't know where I could have picked up the cold virus, but I'm not feeling too well.

Have a great weekend. I'll try to check in on Tiesday.

It's the same stuff

Things around here are the same. Nothing really changes from day to day. All of my complaints are the same as they were last week and the week before.

The only difference is I am in the midst of periodic check-ups with various physicians. Last week was the cardio doc. My blood pressure is up - as is my weight! The lab lost my blood work though! What a bummer.

Tuesday I had an appointment with the radiation oncologist. I need lab work for the oncologist next week (see a pattern here ??) so I decided I would kill two birds with one stone - both requests were used. I'm sure the cardio doc will send me the results when he gets them. I doubt I will have to go in, unless there is a big problem with my liver or something from the cholesterol drugs.

Next week is the appointment I am really waiting for. It is with Dr Poison, my oncologist. I really want to see what the CA25,27 markers read. I friend who had colon cancer several years ago told me that as the time span gets greater for check-ups, the anxiety grows. That is a true statement. I've been waiting for this for quite a while now.

On the 26th I see the plastic surgeon for the pre-op appointment. I am hoping that I WILL have a copy of my labs from the cardio doc. That may save me another draw at the hospital for the surgery on September 8.

Isn't my life exciting. Getting old - what a blast, especially when you add cancer to the mix!

I am still here!

Due to a multitude of events, I have been away! First, my ongoing battle with Comcast has finally been solved - at least for now. For months I have been not wanting to call for help because several of my neighbors had unsecured WiFi. How dare they!! Well, last week that changed. One completely disappeared. I don't know what they did, unless they are the new secured connection. I doubt that however because that new connection was unsecured for a couple of days, and it was too weak to connect. But then that's how they began to fade.

Anyway, I called my favorite company. They were going to send a repairman out the next day. I turned on the albatross of a desk top that the router has to come off. It takes it about 30 minutes to load - no joke. I know the mother board is going, but once again I am so tired of talking to the IT people in India who have me taking boards out of that computer that I just don't call. That's really stupid too because I paid to have the service go longer.

I happened to look at the screen, and I could tell that it had connected to the internet. The repair guy had not gotten here. Hummmm. It was working perfectly. When the guy got here, he was as amazed as I. Then I found that they had gone the way of the phone company. If you don't pay them insurance (in house protection), it is a charge for them to come repair their sh*t!! I hate Comcast.

I tried the two routers I had here (my old one and K's extra). Neither worked. In the meantime, G developed chest pains Wednesday night. So that was a trip to the ER, and he was admitted. He stayed overnight. That is another whole story for another time.

I ended going to the local computer store. I bought a new router (for about twice as much as I could have gotten it at Office Depot or some other place), but I am now back in business.

We also celebrated our 40th anniversary yesterday. The celebration meant that we went to K and S's house instead of me preparing the weekend family dinner. That's not a big deal. That celebration was just fine with me.

More tales from the past eleven days later.

Ponderings

I guess I just have too much time on my hands. I spend a lot of it second guessing myself.

I decided to put off the second reconstruction surgery until September with the idea that I would be able to swim most of this season. Well, guess what - I haven't put a toe in the pool so far. What a surprise. I must be a candidate for the new exercise pill I just heard about.

I am getting feeling back. That is good and bad. I like the idea that I am getting feeling back, and I am really afraid I won't have it once I have the second surgery and a big hunk of tissue removed. I have given up all hopes of ever having feeling under my arm however.

The bad thing about having feeling back is that I realize that this tissue expander is not soft. It is very hard around the edges, and it hurts. Any pressure on the area is really a bit painful. I love to sleep on my right side. That isn't the preferential position now. Just as well I guess. I won't be able to do it for several weeks after the next surgery.

My quandary about surgery is just as confused now as it has ever been, I just have more doubts. I know I have to have it done for two good reasons. One is to be more balanced. I still am large on the left. The other is to get rid of this blasted expander. I just wonder if I should have been scheduled for an earlier date.

No decisions

I hardly ever express a desired location for eating out to G. Usually he will find something wrong with it, and that's all I hear about. It is just easier to let him choose the place, and then if there is something he dislikes, it's his fault!

Sunday night was a good example. We were going to celebrate my birthday with dinner out with the family - that's 9 of us. I had suggested a restaurant that he previously didn't like, but we saw an ad with some dishes that looked good.

That was going to be ok. I had even told K and S that was where we were going. Three hours before we were going to be going, he suggested we go to a different place. Rather than risk the scenario I drew before, I agreed.

They don't take reservations. C had called ahead, but was told the wait would still be about 1 hour. The restaurant doesn't seat until the entire party is present. I was amazed that we were seated within five minutes of getting there - without C and B.

The problem then arose. It was a booth. I mentioned this here. The evening really was miserable. Conversation was not possible except for my kids who were directly across from each other.

K made several snide comments to her dad about the situation. I don't know how many of them he took to heart, but I think he did realize that a noisy restaurant with a huge booth was not a great idea.

The situation doesn't even take into account me trying to get into and out of said booth with my knees! Getting in wasn't nearly as bad as getting out. After sitting for an hour, my knees work even less. I thought I would be there forever.

So when asked where I want to go to eat, etc my stock answer is "I don't care." It doesn't do any good to care!

I WILL be a Tigger

I, like so many others, watched the tribute to Randy Pausch last night. I was impressed when I first heard his last lecture.

Last night he spoke to me again. I have let myself become an Eeore on too many occasions. I wallow in self pity. There is no reason for it. I will be a Tigger.

Another child??

While contemplating topics that I could possible pursue that wouldn't be more moaning and complaining on my part, I was struck with the fact that I have another child! It has been in the house for months, and I never realized I had another child.

It must be a child because when it gets too quiet, you know it must be into something it's not supposed to be in. When its sound changes or worse yet it gets completely quiet, you know that's a problem. Isn't that true of a child?

My latest child is a robot vacuum. When it is supposed to be working, if all is quiet there are two possible answers. It either has decided to go back to bed (its dock) or has gotten stuck. The first thing I do is to check the dock. If it's not there, then I have to search for it. Fortunately it can only traverse two rooms, but there is a lot of furniture in the den.

It loves to go under the furniture. Unfortunately, it can get stuck. If it does get stuck, I have to hope aa portion of it is sticking out. Otherwise, I am looking under everything. Not fun.

It is supposed to leave cords alone. Ha!! It loves to play with electrical cords. It carries them as far as it can. It does drop them finally. But the other day, it found the blind cord. It tried to crawl the cord until its weight stopped that. Getting it to let loose was a trick.

It has a mind of its own for sure. Some days it loves the den. If just scours the den. It twirls around and around, bumping off the furniture, jumping off the base of the entertainment center. Other times it loves the kitchen and breakfast room. On those days, the area rug in the den never feels the suck of that vacuum. Yesterday and today seem that it's den day. I cannot convince it there is work to do in the other rooms.

But as the ads say, at least I'm not having to do the work. Oops, it's too quiet again. Gotta go find the baby!

Gosh my tongue is sore

I guess weekends are going to be a trial for a while to come. It is the pits when you don't agree with the method your children use to raise their kids. I'll tell you right now - my tongue is so sore from me biting it. If things don't change, I think I'll be a good candidate for a tongueectomy.

I REALLY don't agree with the way my daughter and son-in-law are raising my grandson (Monkey Boy). They have created a spoiled brat. He can do no wrong, and in his mind, "no" is not a word from him.

I have suspected that he has problems with other children. Now I am pretty sure of it. Saturday they finally (20 days late) were able to schedule the first birthday party he has ever had. His fourth birthday was on the 6th.

G and I weren't able to be there. We were in San Antonio for his aunt's funeral. I understand there were very few children from his day care class there. I have long suspected he is a little bully, since he loves to pull his kung-fu moves and other aggressive stances as part of his normal way of acting. Daddy also encourages that business.

G and I went to their house for dinner after we got home. The meal was a very balanced and healthy one. Marinated pork loin and fresh grilled (but really nearly raw) vegetables. Monkey Boy had an absolute fit. He ended up with processed chicken nuggets and Spider Man macaroni and cheese - prepared especially for him after the rest of us were eating and he threw his fit. I wanted to have a fit of my own.

After dinner, we had some left over cake from his party. He tried for a second piece. When I told him he already had a piece, he went into a rage. I was told, by him, in no uncertain terms, that I was to stay away from him. Hey, no problemo!

Last night we went out for the family to celebrate my birthday which was Saturday. It was a nightmare, but that's another story. We were seated in a large booth. I was crammed into the corner with the kids across from me. Bread was served. Both kids were seated across from me, and were my dinner companions.

Both kids were immediately given a roll. When the bread was moved down. MB grabbed another roll. It was downed in record time. He reached for a third and I told him he didn't need a third. Mom and Dad finally were aware of what he was doing. That didn't stop the tears from anger however.

This morning, K told me he found some candy and decided that was a suitable breakfast. I couldn't believe it, but is dad said no. He flipped out again. He went running into the bedroom where K was getting ready for work saying "Daddy told me no." Hey, there's a good indication there's a problem. Of course, the cereal he was told to eat wasn't much better than the candy.

He can be a sweet little boy, and according to my daughter-in-law, he can follow rules. I wish I had witnessed that.

Three in seven months

Yesterday we lost another member of G's family. His dad died in December. An aunt died in February. I felt a special kinship with her. She was battling the little c. She lost.

Yesterday we lost the sister who was the most free spirit. She was 77. She lived to fish, and,accordingly, lived on the coast. She gave away all the fish she caught if she didn't simply throw them back. She hated fish! In the past few years, however, she had not been able to go out everyday to fish. Her arthritis in her knees kept her from many activities. Then she developed diabetes.

We visited her a few years back when we had our travel trailer. It was easy with the dogs. She showed us such a good time. We even went out on a fishing boat. That was a first for me. At every family reunion, she would ask when we were going to come back. We assured her it would be sometime.

The good thing about her death is that she died just as she wanted. She had blockage in the arteries of her heart. She had surgery a couple of weeks ago, and she was scheduled for another on the 29th. The cousins who live around her and check on her had been telling me for years she wouldn't take her medication. A few days ago, her blood sugar fell so dangerously low that cousin 1 didn't think he would be able to get her back.

The same cousin told me she had not taken her meds for two days. When they checked on her about noon yesterday, the found her non-responsive. She was in her bed, a smile on her face and all five dogs around her. It was just the way she wanted to die.

We didn't. Now we can't.

Funny how this post took on a life of its own. It hasn't gone in the planned direction, but that's ok. In fact, it's even better this way. Her death has once again made me realize we cannot procrastinate. If we want to be with those we love, there is not time like the present. There possibly is no tomorrow.

Lesson relearned - once again too late.

It's official!

Yep! It is now officially hurricane season! We have had a couple of storms that have appeared, but they were just blows. Bertha simply provided a little practice in trying to whip the masses into a frenzy of preparations, but she simply wasn't a real threat to anyone!

Then the "C" storm. Gosh, me memory is really bad!! There it was threatening the Carolina. One of our weather gurus actually had the nerve to suggest that those of us residing along the upper Texas Gulf Coast begin making our preparations for weathering the storms. That would be some hurricane! Spanning from the Carolinas to Texas - and we would be on the "dry side.'

Now we have Dolly knocking on the Mexico/Lower Texas Coast's door. You guessed it. The gurus are trying to spin us into a full fledged panic. If their wishes could move the thing, it would head straight up the Houston Ship Channel. They have tried SO hard to say it will effect us. Every report (and there are a multitude embedded in each news cast) all will contain the words "if it turns more northerly."

I haven't really seen a newscast today yet. I have had other things to do - like a doctor's appointment. I did turn to the weather channel. After all, we are supposed to be in a state of complete horror running around boarding up windows, filling water containers, filling gas tanks in vehicles, etc. Dolly did "wobble" (a FAVORITE word of the wg's) to the north over night.

I will be so thankful when that things does finally make landfall - probably in Mexico, and we won't get even a much needed drop of rain. But the laughs will prevail watching those clowns in the Severe Storm Department of the local stations try their best to bring it here!

A complete nightmare

That is the phrase that best describes last night's "family dinner." I cannot believe the circus that took place under this roof. It was far from pretty.

S is out of town, so K brought the kids early so they could swim. With him gone, she doesn't let them in their pool. That was fine, and all went well.

It was Doodle Bug's first birthday. Monkey Boy had his birthday on the 6th, but he has participated in several succeeding celebrations since July seems to be THE month for birthdays in this family. So, since his Aunt Teenie (C) and Uncle B were bringing his presents, it assumed it was STILL his birthday.

I know trying to reason with a 4 year old is like trying to reason with a post, but geez! He thought all of Doodle Bug's presents were his as well. She never had a chance. I love that boy, but he has been so spoiled it is terrible. He is the true "Prince of the House." He was a true terror.

Doodle Bug decided she could stand on her push/ride toy - when she was able to get to it.
She mounted it and was about to take a header into the tile floor. This is after she was allowed to stick her fingers into the fan while being held. I was finally at the table, and there was no way I could get to her. I let out a scream - I don't know where that came from. It was uncontrollable. K barked at me, and with my funky moods these days, I rushed out in a flurry of tears. Real adult Grandma.

Before most of this other mess, the Beloved, S's daughter from another relationship, called him demanding he leave, get on a plane, and get her. This road has already been traveled. She pulled this once before, and K and S spend $1400 to fight to get her only to find she had lied about what was going on at home.

S called K after Beloved's call. That added to the circus here. Emotions were all on high alert. It was really a nightmare. I don't want another evening like that - ever. I HATE drama.

I did it!

I now have a brand new used recumbent bicycle. I was on it twice yesterday. Although my stamina is terrible, I plan to use it several times a day. I really felt better after I got off it.

My plan is to strengthen my muscles, THEN consult with a bone doc. Perhaps I won't be send to Physical Therapy. I don't want to go!!

I did try an elliptical trainer while I was at the sports place. That would be a really good way to kill myself. I don't have the coordination. Perhaps that might come. Who knows?

End in sight

Yep, the end is in sight for the drama that began with the mastectomy. We set the date for the next to last surgery for September 8. It will be done at the same place - which is good and bad. I didn't get the expected infection, but I was worried. This place wants to emulate a nice hotel. OK, that's great, but I am a little nervous about a hospital that has carpet on the floors of its rooms! I am a freak about carpet is places that should be washed! When the house was put in at the SSB, the carpet in the bathrooms drove me completely NUTS.

Anyway, I will be staying overnight. I have learned my lesson about being the brave soul who demands to go home as soon as possible. It doesn't help me at all. I'm sure I will want that little button for pain relief that night. I just hope the IV doesn't infiltrate this time! I don't like to see my hand twice its normal size.

After this upcoming surgery, the one left is a very brief one that will be outpatient. It will be done in an operating room just for sterility. They will place the nipple on my poor right side. He said it is very easy and quick. I haven't had the nerve to ask just how they make said nipple. It gives my imagination something to do!!

Swept away in a whirlwind

I had the final (?) follow-up appointment with the plastic surgeon yesterday. I think I am released from this surgery. I still have some scabs in the area that had the stitches until just recently. I assume they are still there because this is the tissue that was radiated.

He and the nurse are very pleased with the healing. That makes me feel much better. Seriously, I really believe if I had known the real effects of this surgery I'm not sure I would have done it. Almost the first words out of his mouth was when we were going to schedule the second surgery. I told him September, which is fine. As he examined me, he said he wouldn't do it until the scabs were gone anyway.

He planned the procedure which will include excision of tissue (let's call it like it is - a pouch of fat) that has been left since the mastectomy. It is bothersome, and I have wanted it gone. He makes it sound so easy. "Just match dot to dot." Easy for him to say! But he did assure me that this surgery will be much easier. My options were to have the fat liposuctioned or cut out. I am not afraid of scars. Not at 63! So he planned how that would take place. Then he will cut under the breast to remove the expander and slip in the implant. He said the reduction will be a breeze. I will have one(?!?!) drain because he will remove tissue. If lipo was done, there would be no drain - just compression bandages,

So, his scheduler is going to call me today. Here we go again.

My plans for the weekend are to give B his weight bench back - I haven't used it. I have it because he didn't want it when he first moved out. I am also going to give him the treadmill. My knees do not make it a fun thing. But I plan to go out to get a recumbent bike. I have been motivated by Rana over at Eclectic Mind. She has worked out with such dedication that she has amazing results. I just think it will be easier on the knees. I also intend to search for my kick board that I wasn't able to use last year. I'm still assuming I have been released and can hit the pool!

So that's what's up with me!

Just pour me into the house

We are back from the big shingdig in that little town in central Texas. They were celebrating their 150th anniversary. That included a parade (the largest one in recent history), and usual Jack Ass Race (not kidding at all - wish I had pictures), and the Arts and Crafts show - which really isn't only Arts and Crafts, but that's another story.

We went to Wide Spot Community Club on Friday. I had two reasons for going, neither were very honorable. I didn't want to cook and clean up on Friday, and I wanted to get Lady Bug on the float. The only problem is that they wanted period dressing. She has hoochie modern. Her dad found a plaid shirt that we turned around, cut off sleeves, and cut up a "dress up" white thing to make an apron. She looked really cute, and most important, she had a good time.

We set up our little show of crafts. Our place was one that was really good. We were under a huge pecan tree, so after about noon, we had great shade. This was the hottest weekend yet in Central Texas. The good thing is that in that area, if you have shade, a breeze and water, it's not really bad.

Our sales were pitiful. We sold $110 worth. I am a bit miffed however because the booth next to us had absolutely NO crafts. Zip, zero, nada. They had blingy crap from probably China, but they were selling hand over fist. It was straw hats, studded belts and plastic purses that were animal prints. To think I left anything that we didn't put our hands onto at home. I really feel like lodging a complaint, but it wouldn't do any good.

The heat was just overwhelming though. Even though we were fairly cool (doesn't take a lot of energy to sell $110 worth), I really felt sorry for those who had no tree. All they had was their cabana shades that we are required to have. Those folks were so hot. I hope their business was good to make up for it. I know of one booth who sold nothing. The economy just isn't conducive to trinket sales right now.

Very little was accomplished at SSB. I would check the outside thermometer, and it was usually 104+ in the sun. It was a fun trip however. The whole family was together. C was a little green at times, but she did well. Hopefully that goes away in about 4 weeks when she can discontinue the progesterone.

I am between medical things today myself, and the neighborhood free WiFi is getting wonky, so I'll post while I still can!

Furious!

Especially after joining the ranks of "elders" I feel elders should be respected. I really do. But, you know, that respect should be somewhat earned. I really feel you cannot spend your life acting like a b****, and then fully expect people to fall all over themselves for you.

I just found out my mother-in-law finally remembered my son's birthday. In the last few years, she had not, and that is something that must be stated here. It is one of the many snubs she has given our family. For THIS birthday card, she included a letter. In that letter, she put him on a huge quilt trip. She wrote how the Capitol City group are the only ones who come to see her.

B never was one to go to see her. We would go to see her about twice a year. In the past, SHE has come to Swampland less than ten times, and we are talking about thirty-seven years here. I don't understand just why she thinks we should pay homage to her now. Yes, you are a widow now, but you live in an independent living place now - surrounded by people who you apparently choose to NOT want to get to know.

I really wish she would have done as usual and just forgotten his birthday. I hate to see my son upset by this woman.

I can hardly wait to see what my birthday card has to say (IF there is one this year - I, too have been forgotten in the past). When the kids were very young, she wanted to keep them for a week. If I didn't grovel at her feet to her expectations, I was verbally attacked. The attacks were vicious. They happened twice.

We don't stop to see her often. We don't go to Alamo City. We have no reason. It is out of the way to the SSB, and we have Simone with us. She can't wait in the truck in this heat. MIL always had dogs. She ought to know about that! B never goes that way at all. I guess he is supposed to make a special trip. At $4 + a gallon, a 200 mile trip for no good reason is a bit much to expect. Most of his weekends are spent with the band at a gig. I don't know when she expects him to go.

Perhaps she should remember the old addage with a modern twist: you get as you gave. She gave little.

For two days?

We are back from the SSB. I really got a lot of things done - like seven cuff bracelets and nine pairs of ribbon decorated flip flops. I was amazed how quickly they got done there as opposed to here. Perhaps it may be the lack of a fast internet connection??

Anyway, I could have gotten more done, but I wasn't going to load the sewing machine, fabrics, threads, and so on. It was just going to be too much. I might have thrown in more shoes, but I was already afraid I would hear more mutterings from Mr. Passive-Aggressive himself.

I have a load of things to get done today and tomorrow. Darling Daughter hardly called at all this past weekend, and not at all last night. I thought Lady Bug was taken care of. Nope. She called me at 9:05 this morning. I thought it was about Doodle Bug's ENT follow up. Partly. She had no place for LB. S is out of town until Thursday. She is expecting me to watch her until and including part of Thursday. I might as well hang up getting the water bottle holders done. LB will want to do "crafts" along with me. That translates to "Grandma - help me with this." "Grandma, I'm done with this." and so on.

I wanted to get my room straightened out. If we are not upstairs, she wants to plop on my bed to watch the stupid "teen programs" on the Ears Network. I really am in a bit of a snit because I was looking at two days of hard work - on my own schedule. It won't happen now.

I KNOW I should say something to K. It wouldn't help anything. So I'll just moan and groan here, and let you see what a wimp I am. It really is the easier road,

Like a chicken . . .

Today marks the first day of complete chaos that will mark the next week for me. I have to get the first load of "stuff" to haul to the SSB for the Sesquicentennial Celebration at the annual festivities at Town Without A Stoplight. We will be moving the hardware needed for the display of the crafty things at the show. Right now that includes five tables and the sunshade. I think I will take the bins of items as well because they are really so bulky.

The tables are pretty straight forward with the exception of two. They are at darling daughter's house where they have been since before Christmas. No problem with the exception they are now gone to visit the aunt, uncle, cousin, and second cousins from Capitol City. They won't be back until late this evening. Right now, G is fine with whatever, but I know him too well. He was fine with the brunch last week until the day of the brunch when his passive-aggressive streak poked through. The same thing will happen tomorrow, and if not tomorrow certainly NEXT Thursday when we leave for the real thing.

The thought of sitting up there without nothing to work on is driving me mad. My mind was still working at 100 miles an hour at midnight trying to come up with a plan. I think I finally got it. There is room in the totes for the flip-flops. The ribbons won't take much room either, so I'll sneak them into the totes and all will be well.

I thought of taking my big sewing/embroidery machine in its fancy new trolley. But that thing weighs 1000 pounds at least (you KNOW I'm not one to embellish stories!!), and I don't think it will easily fit in the back seat of the troop carrier with Simone. Plus you have to lift it a mile to reach the seat. So sewing it out. The little crappy machine that I have considered taking and leaving up there doesn't sew well enough to make items that I am going to sell.

So I will venture upstairs soon to gather the items that will be loaded to take with us. You'll probably hear G's swearing tomorrow when the passive-agressiveness comes barreling to the surface!

Well . . . .

Yesterday, I loaded the Lady Bug into the "regular" truck (as opposed to the "troop carrier truck) of which I am now the daily driver - thanks gasoline prices. We headed downtown to the Medical Center. I had an appointment with the plastic surgeon.

I didn't estimate the time the trip would take properly, but in Swampland, a 15 minute trip could, and has expanded to over an hour. You just never know. So I rushed her out of the house at 1:00 for a 2:00 appointment. All the while, I was sure we would be late.

We pulled into the parking garage - valet parking - at 1:30. That was quite a treat for me. It wasn't that much more expensive than regular parking that G always chooses, and there we were - right at the door. My knees were so thankful.

We headed to the elevators and were seated in the waiting room by 1:35. The problem was my appointment was at 2! Well . . Then as the two o'clock hour approached, I gleaned the truth that the doctor was NOT there. I really believe he was probably caught up in surgery. LB was a trouper, but still, how long can a seven year old be expected to sit quietly and wait.

We were finally called back at 2:30 - only to wait more. It was easier in the exam room. There is a huge mirror (for some reason I really believe it is a two way). LB has never met a mirror she didn't like. So she spend the first 15 minutes mugging. After that she got her toy lap top out with its myriad of games on it. She found a couple of trivia games, and we passed the time with her quizzing me. It was fun.

The doctor finally came in. He plucked off a couple of scabs that I was afraid to touch. He said they would come off with a little soap and water. I told him I don't mess with scabs! He was to remove the stitches that were still in since they were in the radiated tissue. Healing still wasn't complete, but he felt the tissue would heal anyway.

He asked about the size of the reconstruction. Since I have had really large boobs all my life, I had looked forward to small, perkier ones. But I think this one is a little small. What I have is an expander, so he was going to add more volume. The problem was he couldn't find the port. That is the story of my life! Put in a port and make it hard to find. It was the same with the chemo port.

We discussed the next surgery. He agreed that September will do. He will put in an implant at that time that will have 100 mls more. I asked about the "pouch" on my side that has been there since the mastectomy. No problem! We'll just have this scar meet that scar! Get rid of that excess tissue. Piece of cake.

As the nurse was removing the stitches, I asked if I would have my buddies (drains) back. Yes. Oh crud!! And I got to thinking about that little "snip" of excess tissue. I would be very sore again. Sleeping will again be difficult. Even the side with the reduction will probably have a drain. Yeah! bilateral drains. What joy.

Honestly were I not so lop-sided (at least DD on the left and B on the right), I don't think I would go on. But I started this mess. I guess I will have the surgery. Perhaps October or November, or the 12th of never???

Very uneasy

About a year ago, I was reading a magazine at the oncologist's office. It offered what seemed to be factual, hopeful information. It was free to subscribe, so I did. Each ensuing issue has brought new worries to me.

This past issue made it seem that breast cancer is going to invade the bones - at some point. It followed three women. One had developed bone cancer after about 5 years and another it was as long as 22 years. When the breast cancer invaded their bones, they were moved to Stage 4 cancers

The article tried to sound upbeat. Even though bone cancer is not curable, it is manageable. Whoopie doo! You are suddenly a Stage 4.

I have been worrying anyway. My fatigue is such that I can hardly function. I keep hoping it is due to a lack of exercise. I am going to invest in a recumbent stationary bike. I think it will be easier on my knees than a treadmill. My daughter loves the elliptical and swears it is easy on the knees, but you still have to stand to use it.

I guess in my skewed brain, I really thought I would live forever. I am suddenly very aware of my mortality. There are precious few years left out there - even without the cancer. I just think of all the things I'm going to miss. That stinks! (Very selfish isn't it? - but I guess that's me)

Finally

We finally got Doodle Bug baptized. Now I can crash, and I certainly feel like doing just that!

The service went flawlessly. She was a charmer. She spent her time at the font flirting with the pastor and her uncle/god father. She didn't get to wear the family dress, but then this baptism was unlike the other two anyway.

Her other grandparents didn't come, but our extended family on this side was able to come. That means my DIL's mother and boy friend and the wife of one of B's friend came. Later in the day, some new friends of S and K came by.

I discovered S and K's oven is actually a Shake and Bake oven. It is about that size, and I really believe the light bulb would heat better!! That meant that everything was tremendously slowed down. I prepped the day before with K and Lady Bug's help. I left the appetizers, baked bries, mini-quiches to that day as well as warming the dips. It took so o o long. What should have taken 30 minutes total really wasn't done in an hour and a half. Finding baking sheets to fit that oven was a real task!

But it's done. I have enough left overs for another small party. I don't really know what I'm going to do with most of them. I think I'll try freezing since we all will be at SSB mid July. It's bound to be eaten then - besides perhaps I can stand to look at it again by then!

Last post about the convention, but the strangest!

Yes, this is finally the last post about the National Convention. We made all the train trips with the exception on the one to the Piney Woods. Been there and done that - but much better. The last trip was certainly the most memorable.

It was on a line that last ran 41 years ago. It was to a VERY small town in the panhandle. We were on the train at 6:15 - yes a.m.! I'm thinking this is certainly a strange vacation. Let me get home to get some rest!

They promised breakfast on the train. Well that was a blueberry muffin and a bottle of orange juice. Didn't make me too happy. A breakfast of carbs doesn't do me well. But I guess it was better than nothing.

The train left right on time. That in itself is amazing. We love train travel, but we always figure several more hours into the trip than the schedule. This is because even though passenger traffic should get the main line track most of the time, the big rail roads control the tracks and their freight almost always gets priorities. We had a couple of times on sidings, but generally we were doing well.

The man in the seat across the isle is a real train buff. He had a scanner set on the rail frequency. When we stopped next to a coal train, his scanner went off. They were talking about some nut around with a blue painted face weilding an axe!

People who organize the trips like this always post two people on each rail car called car hosts.
They keep the car neat and tidy, and make sure everyone is safe. Their radios went off with the message to make sure the vestibule doors were locked.

We were the seventh car back. We didn't get to see this nut, but not seeing anything can lead to more apprehension that actually knowing where he is. Apparently, he was trying to do something to the air brake system on that coal train. When we got to our final destination, I overheard some others talking. He was arrested and carted off to jail. The rumor has it that he was a disgruntled Con Rail ex-employee.

That was really a train ride that will remain in my memory. K called me while we were stopped. I told her what was going on. She thought it was a joke until I was able to convince her that I was really telling the truth, and it really was NOT a set-up.

What a way to end our convention vacation!

It's alive - and growing!

Sunday, Doodle Bug will FINALLY be baptized. It is not going to be at "our" church. I'm not sure how much longer "our"church will be our church. B and C are already going to another megachurch, and I am responsible for S and K going to the mission church that even I like. G doesn't. The pastor is really good as compared to ours (who ran our kids off with his poor preaching), but the music is completely non-traditional. G hates that. The real reason I am dismayed by having the baptism away from the old church is I make the napkins that are used. Both of the others have the napkins I did. She won't. I'll live though.

I emphasized the finally because DB is almost a year old. K wants her to be in the dress she was baptized in. Lady Bug wore the same dress. We are going to have to use a lot of baby powder to slick her down and a shoe horn to get her into that dress. Thankfully she is a long lean baby. She prefers mother's milk to real food still.

We will continue the tradition of a meal following the service, but this time it will not be a my house. I simply cannot get my house party ready in a few days. It would take me a few months!! I am however "catering" this event. What began as just the family (6 plus 2 kids) has grown to 20 (plus 5 kids). S wasn't happy about calling his parents about the shindig, but K told him he HAD to.


He doesn't really want them here. For one thing, they cannot manage money and are always broke. They think their children should support them. He was hoping they would say they couldn't afford the trip, but I think instead they will demand money spent to get here and money to get home again. His mother has a vicious tongue on her, and people don't like to be around her. Oh well. That in itself is a good reason for all the people being invited. I can stay away from her!!!

Things will turn out good. We will have a good time! The important thing is that the baby is going to be baptized - finally.

Shhh - it's a secret for now

My daughter in law is pregnant. Finally. Again. All those things are important. She miscarried almost five years ago. They should have a child the same age as Monkey Boy who will be four next month. For a while, they weren't trying, but when they did again, nothing happened.

B found a fertility specialist. At first I was dismayed because he found this specialist the same way he found the doctor who caused the problem in the first place - talk radio. The one who caused his problem is a "doctor" who isn't well thought of in the medical community. He claims to be a holistic healer, but I think he is just a quack. Every patient of his I have heard of has the same problems: an underactive tyroid, and low sex hormones.

My son is 31 years old. He is and always has been thin as a rail. He was put on thyroid hormones. Ones that were formulated in the quack's own lab. He also was to give himself a testosterone shot every week.

When the fertility specialist found who B was seeing and taking testosterone, he almost had a stroke. He used some choice language about the quack. He was very descriptive in a most profane way, but I echoed his sentiments exactly! The testosterone shots had decimated B's sperm production.

Fortunately, it is only a few months post quitting the shots, and I hope all the negative effects are gone from taking the shots in the first place, but only time will tell. But I am really hopeful.

Now we begin worrying as to whether C can carry this child this time. She took a home test, then she followed up with the doctor. They did blood work, and the only worry is that her progesterone was a little low. She is taking some progesterone, and will be tested again tomorrow.

For obvious reasons, she is keeping this wonderful event under wraps for the first trimester. My niece did the same thing. She has a singleton and twins, but she has had six pregnancies. I can fully understand how my sister in law has felt. E didn't let her mom tell right away either.

All we can do now is pray. B will make such an awesome father. I am so happy for the both of them!

A new experience

Day two of the convention was one I really was looking forward to! We were going to ride a steam engine pulled excursion train. We got up at 5:30. What a vacation! We boarded a bus to Grapevine to ride the Grapevine Express.

There was no air conditioned car on this train. One was a really open car. It had a roof and some rails to keep you inside, but that was it. We chose the next car up. It was probably built in the 1920's. I don't think the seats had ever been refurbished. I'll get back to that later.

The train was supposed to leave at 9 I think. This trip became a blur after a while. One of the things the rail fans like are the "run bys." This is where they troop off the train, plot through the weeds (and bugs and snakes and the like), to form a line to get pictures of the train steaming by them - as though they were just standing there and , wow, a train came by.

At 8, two of the buses were late because there was an accident on the freeway. It was announced there would be a run by before the train left - at 9. People piled off the train and formed a line! The photo is a closely cropped image of that line because I don't want to show faces. It was still a little early and this was just a small part of the line that finally formed. Now place this same line along a rail road easement, and that will give you a picture of what the later run bys looked like!

These people are not just local hacks they are serious photographers. I snapped this picture the night before at the barbeque. His equipment is not anywhere nearly as good as some of these folks. But it's
lot better than my little point and shoot Kodak!

We were able to experience some "rare miles" that the train doesn't usually cover. We went east from the station which is not part of the regular passenger experience. They scheduled two run bys. These required the photographers to climb up the embankment along the easement.

Returning to the station, the engine was turned on the turntable so we could then head west along the line that is usually traveled. We ended at the old Stock Yards which is a place I would like to visit again. It seemed to have some really cute attractions.

We finally returned to the station about five. My knees were screaming at me by this time and the 1920 vintage seat was a permanent feature of my backside. I headed for the first bus only to be told that one was going to be last, and we had to go to another. That other was two buses ahead. When we got to it, we were told it was full - which I knew!! So we got on the middle bus and headed back to the hotel.

All in all, it was fun, but that was the FIRST time I was more than ready to get off a train. I usually have the attitude that the trip is more fun than the destination. Little did I know what was ahead of me later in the week!

Lady Bug is bugging me to go upstairs to work on crafts again. She finally found that the little beaded friendship pins are fun! Yea! I can get some of my work done for the craft sale at Round Up in three weeks.

See you tomorrow!

Back at home - at last

We are finally back at home and back to a normal (whatever that is) routine. Except the routine is already not normal. Lady Bug is staying with me for the day. That wouldn't be so bad, except G is home. I told him she would be here at 8 am. As it turned out, she was here at 7:45. He slept until 9. That took the other TV away from LB. He finally got up, and breakfast was consumed about 10. She had two frozen waffles with our breakfasts. At 11 she started saying she was hungry for lunch. When G is around, lunch isn't thought of until AT LEAST 1:30. I don't care what time we got up and had breakfast. He will go forever - which means I don't usually want dinner. I guess that could be a good thing.

Anyway, after he announced that he found the bread, I got to make her a sandwich of which she ate half. Really starving I guess. He just called (12:45) with the news that he was still at the car wash, had the grocery store yet to go, and then would pick up something. She will want some of whatever, but who knows when it will get here.

Back to the real thing I was going to write about, and that is the convention. The first night should have been a clue as to what the rest of the week was going to be. It was going to be a "Welcome Barbeque." Fine. I had visions of a civilized air conditioner room for the food, and since they were going to watch trains, said room would have large glassed in windows overlooking the train yard. Was I ever wrong. When our bus pulled up, there was a tent that measured about 10x20 with the outer half in the sun.

We were in Texas for God's sake. Texas in June is HOT, HOT, HOT. The day before this event, Ft Worth was 100! The shade in the tent was mininal.

When we got off the bus, we saw the line for the food. It seems that during this convention, if the food was not catered sandwiches, it was a l o n g buffet line. We got in the line which moved surprisingly quick - that is until we were four from the food. The people who were right there had misplaced their dinner ticket. Rather than suggesting they step aside to let the rest of us get our food, the woman was allowed to stand there while she went through her purse and its 100 pockets, his shirt, cargo pants, her shirt, her cargo pants, etc. Finally she found it, and the line went on.

We were able to find two seats in the shade, and if you didn't move it was almost bearable. Fortunately there was a breeze, and that helped a lot.

We then got to watching the photographers. Now these folks are an interesting bunch! They would probably kill for their train shot. They are really serious. They enter contests with these pictures. I took some pictures of them - and their equipment, but I haven't been able to work on editing these pictures since I certainly don't have permission to use those folks images. I'll work on that.

We thought ahead and brought my stool to this. I used it only once, and things weren't too bad. I wish I could say the same for the next four days, but that will come later too.

All in all, we really did have a good time and I am paying for it now. I think the appointment with the orthopedist isn't too far away. I am really down in my knees and hips.

Into the twentieth century (at last)

I'm here and almost alive in Cow Town. Today is the first day I have had computer access, and will be the last until I get home on Sunday. The computer odyssey has been a true comedy. I didn't load it on Sunday night because I didn't want it to be in the car overnight. We took Princess Simone to her summer camp (the vet) Monday morning, and the plan was to put the computer in the car right after that. Well - life got in the way. K called before I walked into the house. That put the single cell that makes up my chemoed, anesthetized brain cell to work, and the work wasn't remembering anything.

We were twenty-five miles away when I remembered the computer. I was still talking to K. She said she would Fed-Ex it to me. At the time, I declined. I didn't know the address of the hotel. I thought about it during the trip, and then decided that would be a good thing. So I called K when we got to the room, about 4 pm. She said she would call me right back. Well that call came at 6:30 - after we went to dinner and all (which I will recount later). I gave her the information. She didn't go get it that evening, nor the next day. She wasn't sure which of the keys she had was mine. So she waited until her brother got off work.

We were on an excursion train that day. Excursion trains are NOT air conditioned as a rule. Cowtown had been in the 100's previously. I have never wanted off a train before. I was more than ready to say good-by to that piece of machinery!!

We detrained and got on beautifully air-conditioned chartered buses for the trip back to the hotel. My phone rang. She was just going to send the computer. This was 5 pm on Tuesday. Overnight at that time was $85! We finally got it down to a price that I felt was reasonable - $30. To make a long story shorter, she called another 4 times. I was so embarrassed!! In the close quarters of this bus with all the other travelers that are exhausted, my phone kept ringing! K couldn't understand why I sounded a bit miffed during the last call.

Greta arrived yesterday. I was exhausted once again. We had been riding the mass transit systems from Cowtown to Big D and all through Big D. The killer was the trek back from the station to the hotel. I wasn't sure I would make it. All of three blocks in 99 degree with 98% humidity (or so it felt). Three years of inactivity are killing me.

I was so thrilled as I waited for the Fed-Ex package to be brought to the desk. I opened it and began looking for the wi-fi. Found it - for $10 a day. You would think 4 star hotels would have free wi-fi, free phones, and at least one premium cable channel. Not this one.

So I have Internet for one day because I'm too cheap to pay for another. Besides we will be on a train tomorrow for 11 hours. Don't need wi-fi then. The next day we leave for Swamp-Land!

I am glad to have Greta with me AND access to the world. Would I do it all again. I don't think so. It has cost more than it's really worth especially since I thought I would be using it to fill the day when G went to seminars (that seems he is not going to do!!).

I'll give you a run down of the convention on Monday, along with some pictures it I somehow get some additional computer savvy before then. "See you on down the line!" (Train people are getting to my brain

In memory

Happy Father's Day, Daddy. I really still miss you. Even though your physical body left only 3 years ago, the real you left a few years before that. When something happens during the day, I still find myself thinking how I must share it with you. But you are not here. How I wish you were. I wish you were totally here - mentally and physically health. I know the last few years were ones of misery for you. I still have no idea how much of you was still present in those last years. But I do so miss you.

I know this is a hard Father's Day for G. It is the first without his dad. He is going about normal business, but I know it is in the back of his mind. He just doesn't openly dwell on missing his dad. \

To all you dads, I hope your day is great. To their families, make it great for him. You will not always have him.

We love our animals

I know many people who would think my family and I are crazy. We love our pets and take their care seriously. Years ago, we adopted a crazy lab mix. He had been sprayed with pepper spray when the house where he was living was broken into. He had tremendous separation anxiety. To get to the point, he developed a cancerous place on his back food. It would grow until the skin split.

We did almost everything we could for him. We weren't offered chemo or radiation, but we kept having the place removed until we were told it was no use, and he was best being put down. Most of our animals, and there has been quite a parade of them in 40 years, have lived to a ripe old age.

My daughter is facing the same thing with her old black tom cat. He is 11. He has begun to lost weight - a lot of it. She took him to the vet on Monday. The bill came to about $850. She had then taken him back on Wednesday because he still wouldn't eat. They instructed her on giving a bolus of 100 cc's of fluid twice daily, and food that can be administered via syringe as well as the meds he was put on.

Why am I bringing this up? Because I'm really afraid she inadvertently let him get out last night. She called me telling me that she couldn't find him anywhere. She said she did have the door open for a short time when she was talking to her neighbor.

I saw what the cat did on Wednesday when I was there. Lady Bug was going to dance class and was being picked up by her friend. Jack (the cat) was sneaking toward the door.

If he DID get out, she will never see him again. He is getting what he really wants. He is going off somewhere to die. I haven't heard from her today, and that means they didn't find him I'm sure. I really hate that.

Real mixture of thoughts

I've simply got to get better about really coming over here. I don't know what is keeping me from jotting down my thoughts. I think about them all the time, and think about posting them.

I guess posting goes along with my "thing" about passwords these days. I keep forgetting them. Today I even forgot the password for this site. This is really disconcerting! I think I'll just pass it off to the six hours of anesthesia! That's a good idea. It cannot be my mind, it's outside forces!

In progress notes, my fluid accumulation went away. G had to try to get the antibiotic into the drain tube twice. The first time, it went smoothly. Sunday, of course, it wouldn't go. The line became blocked on Saturday and I was able to clear it. It seemed to be doing well on Sunday - until it was time for the antibiotic. We did get two syringes of air in, but when it was time for the antibiotic, there was no go. I called on Monday and they gave me hints. They worked. The antibiotic flowed in on Monday evening. Tuesday I went to the office and thankfully lost the final drain! Yea!! Cowtown, here we come.

I have been keeping Lady Bug off and on for these two weeks. The craft I bought that I thought she would be interested in doing (thus keeping her occupied for hours on end) is a dud. As of now, she toddles off to my bedroom to use "On Demand" or the Disney channel. I know her mom doesn't want her watching that much TV, but when she's here it just works better for me. Yesterday she broke my (brand new) bedside lamp. She has to have plenty of light to watch that blasted TV.

I thought she would be staying with her dad today since he is "working out of the house." That got changed late last night. I don't mind when it is K who has to have me keep her. S abuses the fact that I will keep her. K picks her up as soon as she can. S has a history of keeping her here as late as possible.

That fact almost meant that G was dead set against me keeping Doodle Bug. When Lady Bug and Monkey Boy were infants and I kept them, he would bring them to me, go home to dress, do whatever (including "hitting some balls, etc"), go home to check emails and so on, then change again. THEN he would pick them up. All too often, I had things to do after they left. I would be sitting here just waiting.

I know I should have said something. In these situations, it is a slippery slope. He already has an insecurity thing because of his parents. He gets his feelings hurt at the drop of a hat, and then he cries. K is super protective of him. She often says it's like she is the male in this relationship and he is the female. She is very astute.

So I wonder how long I will have her today. If he gets a golf game in, I will be very angry! I will say something. That may cause a big to-do!

We will be leaving on vacation on Monday. We are going to a National Historic Train Convention. I am really excited about it. We love to ride trains. Both of our trips to Chicago have been really just train trips. For us, it is as much about the trip as the destination. I was so thoroughly surprised to find that I fell in love with Chicago when we got there! Made the whole thing even better.

I know we have one trip included in this vacation. There are many other activities we signed up for. I'm so very thankful I don't have to return to the doctor for two weeks. At one point, I was really wondering just why in the heck I did this. I was all healed. Things were going well. I just hated the prosthesis. For a while, I felt as though I had jumped from the frying right into the fire. While not completely healed, I am doing pretty well. I will have my stitches for another 2 weeks at least, but they are few and are in the irritated skin that doesn't heal well anyway.

I promise I'll be back soon.

Change of plans

I thought we might be able to get away and go to the SSB this weekend. I was supposed to see the plastic surgeon on Friday, but I called and made the appointment for today. I am really thankful I had the appointment today. My one remaining drain had stopped draining. I didn't think anything of it because it was supposed to come out today.

We got to the appointment in the Med Center, waited a bit and finally got to the exam room. Dr B came in and looked at my back. He said I had fluid buildup. Boy did I ever. After they stripped the tube a few times, we ended up with over 250cc's right there in the office. Had I not planned to leave Friday for the ranch, I really would have had a fluid buildup and it would have been really bad.

I'm glad G was with me. I have been trying to get him to strip this drain, but he never would. I was fairly good at it, but really did think it was finished with its thing! Now he gets to inject the antibiotic into the tube tomorrow and Sunday. I go to the other office for them to do it Friday.

Sometimes I am amazed at how things happen. I was so glad we went today! I am almost equally upset we can't leave, but later in June is a far more important trip. We are going to the National Historic Railroad Association's national convention. I won't miss that one - mainly because we have already paid for a lot of the things we are doing.

In other news, I kept Lady Bug yesterday. She is really fun, and I enjoy her. I thought I had crafting things to keep her busy for hours, but she had other ideas. She completed them in about 30 minutes!! Needless to say, the things I had planned for me didn't get done. I forget she is only 7. She is so mature that I always expect so much that she is unable to do. I still love keeping her here, and best of all, she seems to enjoy being here. That makes things good.