Well, expletive deleted!

Today has been quite a day.  I went for my annual mammogram.  A little glitch there - seems like I called the wrong place to schedule it!  I thought chemo-brain would have been long gone by now.  I guess old age is settling in with a vengeance.

They worked me in on time, and all is well there.  That's always good news.

I was instructed by the GP to get a glucose meter.  So I did.  That's just the tip of the iceberg on that front.  His office just called with the results from my blood work.  All with cholesterol is good.  But it has been for a long time.  The triglycerides are only 100 units high (ugh), but the blood glucose this time was horrible.  It was 145!

Something with the urine - didn't understand her well - was also elevated. So now he wants me to see a nephrologist and and an endocrinologist.  Well, expletive deleted!

I don't want to see either of these people!  I have had enough is doctors!  I don't need two more in my stable.  S***, s***, s***!  I already have two doctors pending because I just don't want to go - the ophthalmologist, and the dermatologist.

I had other things I was going to talk about today, but now all those thoughts have been pushed out with this.  UGH!

This rant has been brought to you by DOCTORS!!!

Well - peace be with YOU at least.

Spring?

Dare I say that word? It seems we will be stepping out of this freezer in a bit. Thanks for the sample, but I am not sure I want to buy this winter weather. I guess we aren't as tough as we thought. We have been pretty much dropped to our knees.

I don't think I really want to see what it left of our citrus crop. It has had a blanket and "heating pad" consisting of a string of Christmas tree lights. I really don't think the mini lights give off enough heat to keep the freezing temperatures away from those tropicals.

Our yard looks like wilted lettuce. The banana trees and the cannas are especially bad. The philodendrons that were five feet tall in the front are just frozen and littering the ground. Last year we only had three days that would qualify to compare to this winter, and we had only three days. This year we had five. I guess next year it will be seven!

I don't think I am going to replace things. The fern that I have in one of the front beds consists of brown stems sticking up. This fern got so thick three years ago that it stopped weeds from growing in that bed. They were wonderful. Last year, they froze to the ground. Just before this freeze, I noticed that they were almost back to being 85% full. Well ... you know the rest.

Two days ago, after the rolling black outs, the power to the neighborhood went out. (Yea for the generator) The guy from the utilities company was trying to make a simple repair. Well Murphy's Law got him. The entire thing went down for quite a while. The lights came back on for those of us on this part of the street, but the four houses to our east the power never came back on.

It wasn't too bad for a while, but darkness was coming. The head contractor was talking to G - who was out only to get the mail - told him what had happened. It was a major thing that was just waiting to happen. The lady from the corner pulled into out driveway. She asked how long the electricity would stay out. He told her an hour - told G more like two. Well it was more like six more.

So that's the latest from The Little City Outside Swampland proper. We see higher temperatures coming this weekend, and then perhaps spring. In four months, we may look back on this and wish for a little of it to have hung around. For me, I will just look at all the wilted lettuce that were once my plants!

A flair for the dramatic

I don't know what is going on with me - my mind, my body. It really started last week after my last injection in the ol' back.

The next day, everyone was noticing my face flushing. I have no idea where that is coming from, but it is still hanging on. So, since I am not dramatic at all, I think that it hurts. Last night I was really flushed, and I will swear that my face was a little painful. I don't know what is bringing all this about. It sure isn't because something is embarrassing me. There is little in this world that can do that anymore.

To couple the face flushing, the other night I had a full fledged hot flash - again. I have not had one of those suckers in quite a while. In fact, during the summer which was usually absolute misery for me, I was pleasantly cool. It is not happening now. Of course, yesterday we had a record high temperature, but it was still only 92 which should be wonderful.

Well all this other stuff is messing with my mind. When I started this post, I really was thinking that I just needed to go off for a while. I really think I am bordering on clinical depression. I can be so low. I just feel so alone. As I said, yesterday was really a hard day.

I think one thing I need to do is get out and meet people. Let's face it, you cannot be a fading rose if you teach. You are among other things a stand-up-comic. You are with people (yea, those little runny nosed, hormone ridden creatures called early teens are people) all day. They keep you going. I am not with any people. I am just here.

I have referred to my ex-best friend. That one is really a fact of life now. When I emailed her with the news of the birth of Little Teeny, she remarked that we hadn't communicated in so long, she didn't even know DIL was pregnant. Yep - that's true. Because I have given up. Finished.

Pronouncing the death of the friendship doesn't bring joy to my heart. Just the opposite. That sorrow is pretty much self centered. I am feeling sorry for myself. Poor little me. Little old retired lady. I just don't get around folks very often. For the most part - I visit with sales folks - or the PT person.

I have been married all these years to a basically anti-social person. He doesn't like people. When we would have a couple over, if he got sleepy, he would get up, announce he was going to bed, and went! So who is out with people - right. But I am not paying for his anti-social behaviors. I have no friends. I do have some I keep up with through emails and/or Facebook. They live in other cities. Doesn't meet my daily needs. I have even established friendships - again through Facebook with previous students. Those are my special joys, but let's face it - they aren't going to become BFFs!!

Sorry for the vent. I am still thinking of ways that I can solve this problem. I have thought about church, but like G's aunt - I don't want to be part of those old people! (tacky, tacky) I am looking at finding some volunteering things. That might be good. Lets just say that I am still mourning a death (my friendship), my daughter's busy life, and my own boring life. Getting mobility back has brought both good and bad. It is up to me to make it good. Thanks for the ear.

Peace be with you (and me).

I think there is a connection

Last month, I had a headache. One that sent me to bed on several occasions, and lasted several days. I don't recall if it was about the time of the last injections or not. But "it's back!"

It all began last night. As I was getting ready for bed, it came tip-toeing into my head. I took my evening handful of pills, and got into the bed. I tried to read a bit, but the fatigue I felt the last time, coupled with the encroaching pain, I turned out the light and fell asleep.

I slept soundly until 6:25 when the blasted radio alarm went off. I like a more calm music, but G likes old rock. I hate it, but I do have to let him have some things he wants. I would have liked to lingered a lot longer, but I finally pulled myself from the sheets when he asked if I were still alive. I guess that is an important question these days.

The headache isn't full blown like last time. It is lurking there. It is in the upper left of the cranium and behind my eyes.

I do wonder if it is connected with the injections. I don't think the actual spine is involved in the injections, and when I had the epidural for the knee replacement, I didn't get a headache. I just wonder if it might be the nasal cannula for the oxygen - or even the oxygen itself. It seems to make the sinuses rebel.

I don't know. I just hope it doesn't hang around hang around for days this time!

Peace be with you.

I am such a baby!

Ummm - would you mind bringing the cheese and those crackers over here to go with the whine? Yep - here I go again.

I was talking to Daughter yesterday. She was bemoaning the fact that she didn't see how SIL was going to be able to take care of the three kidlets while she was out of town for a week. I thought she was going to get around to me helping out, and I was going to do it, but tell her she manages when he is gone.

So I asked when she was going to be gone. It is the same week as my knee surgery. Now I am a big girl; perfectly capable of taking care of myself - until I have to go to a hospital. I get really lonely in the hospital. G doesn't do hospitals. I guess it comes from working in one for 25+ years. He will dutifully come by to check on me, then after about 15 minutes he is gone - like a ghost. He uses the excuse that he has to come to tend to Simone. I know there is truth in that, but . . .

Everyone asks if he is going to take some time off after I get home. I just chuckle. Nope. He is going to (gasp) modify his hour though. He will go in a little later so he can help with my breakfast and set up lunch. That means I will have to eat at dark thirty and have a cold lunch. Neither is my life style. In the evenings, he will leave early so he can fix dinner and do the dishes. Oh my, that means his skewed menus. He did that when he retired and worked part time, and I was still teaching full time.

I am upset about Daughter being gone because she has spoiled me. She calls me at least once a day. When I have surgery, she tries to visit as much as possible. It will only be about 2 days that she will be gone after surgery. She won't be there that day, but I don't think I will know the difference. But she won't be back until Friday night.

Perhaps the good Lord is looking out for the two of us. I understand the first three days post surgery are sheer hell. She will be spared that. I know the helpless feeling when someone you love is in such pain. But I will still miss her being there - terribly.

I am so fortunate to have the family I have - even with their quirks. We love one another a whole lot, and that's so much more than some others have.

Peace.