Friday, March 29, 2013

It has been a week

Our church is a partner with a local elementary school.  Most of the schools in our district do have the Title One designation.  Our neighborhoods are diverse, so almost every school gets its share of economically deprived kiddos.  This is true of our neighborhood school - it is a real melting pot, and it is true of this school the church partners with also.

They have a little store every nine weeks or so.  The kids can spend their bucks that they get from turning homework in on time and other "good" works in school.  G, Daughter,  and I volunteered to work the store on Wednesday afternoon.  Some of the kids were so cute.  Some broke your heart - at first - until you got to thinking about the system.  The lowest prize was ten bucks.  One little girl only had seven.  It was sad to me.
Anyway, surprising me, G said he would like to do this again.  He doesn't do well with that age kid.

Thursday morning, I had my appointment with Dr Poison.  His first question was about my energy level.  Well, frankly, I have no energy.  We talked more, and then he went over my lab results.  He tested my Vitamin D level.  I am critically low.  SO, that explains that.  But more than that - the deficiency can lead to some cancers.  So I am on 50,000 mg of Vitamin D once a week for six weeks, then 1000 a day after that.  I also get to go back in six weeks for another test and to see him.

We talked about the new research on the anti-estrogen drugs given post breast cancer.  Originally, you took them for five years, and then stopped.  Well - new research ...  Need I say more.  So he said it was my choice, and I told him I was hesitant to quit the pills anyway.  So I am back on Femara.

I knew the church would be short helpers in the store yesterday, so I went back.  Some of what the school would classify as level one students had their bucks then.  Some of the kiddos had well in excess of 100.  Some well on to 200.  I was amazed, and I no longer felt sorry for those who didn't have the bucks.  Obviously they weren't buying into the program, or the others were stealing their bucks from them!! (LOL)

Then last night was really fun.  Our church is an experimental Lutheran church.  We have the progressive services - even the traditional just barely is traditional! Anyway.  It was Maundy Thursday.  We remember the Last Supper.  Well - we did a beer and hymn service ---- at a local tavern.  It was so much fun.  We sang the "old" hymns, and ate and drank.  It really was fun.  It was so well attended also.  Pastor was concerned.  He was afraid it wouldn't go well - from no one coming to the establishment telling us they didn't want us singing hymns and we were too loud.  Nope - the tavern even wants us back for another beer and hymn time.  And the food was great!

Tonight is our Good Friday Tenebrae service.  We will have a joint service with the Presbyterians  that are near us.  It should be another inspiring service.  Hopefully my three Lutheran grandchildren will be in attendance for THAT since they missed Palm Sunday and the service last night for BASEBALL.  And the sponsoring group for this league is Methodist.  G was Methodist before we married.  His family is crawling with Methodist ministers.  So I had to tease him about this one telling him they must not recognize Holy Week anymore.

My SonIL actually thought Maundy Thursday wasn't a big deal.  He even said "well -the Pope doesn't do anything special for it."  Hello - Muscle Head.  Do you watch the news???  The Pope was even washing prisoners feet - including a Muslim.  I think the Associate in Ministry of our last church was right - he certainly didn't need to be involved with teaching  confirmation - and he did need to take the class for new Lutherans.

So we are just about to Easter.  I have two more little candy bags and candy holders to make for the grandchildren before Sunday.  Know what I will be doing if not today (since I am having to do laundry) or tomorrow!  Hopefully pictures to come - and I say that because I couldn't post any pictures to my business blog.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

More this and that

I talk a lot about how Daughter's in-laws are dysfunctional.  They really are - and if there were an illustrated dictionary, their picture would be the one posted there.  They really amaze me.

But I got to thinking last night about my family.  Yep - the one I felt was so normal.  Normal, that is with the exception of my being an only child.  But there was dysfunction.   It just came to me after all these years.  I never thought it of before.  I guess I pushed it so far under my consciousness.  I don't fee comfortable giving the details.  I don't think it is something I will ever be able to verbalize.  It involves relatives and sexual abuse.   And with that enough said.

I guess a lot of families have dysfunction.  I hope I was able to shield my children.  We tried, but there were stresses.  My children couldn't understand why their cousins were the preferred children to G's parents - his mother especially.  They were always with those grandchildren for holidays.  When all the grandchildren would go to stay with Grandma for a week - mine knew they weren't the ones who were preferred.

But living 200 miles away helped somewhat.  Today they are able to laugh at it.  In fact, when Daughter made her move to San Antonio, Grandma even told her she was treated badly by her.  Humph - she never apologized to me for the outburst of spite she released on me.  But that is a mute issue now.  She has passed.  I wonder if she noticed I always stayed with the animals in the car when G went to the "nursing" homes to visit her when she moved?

Now I am thinking WE are dysfunctional too - at least in some ways.  Are all families?

Not where I intended to be taken, but here I am - sitting here wondering who took over my fingers to type this?

Monday, March 25, 2013


This is a very ironic situation - especially after my last post when I was musing about what it would be like to have a sibling.

Let me give you a little recent history.  I have written for many years about the relationship between Daughter and her in-laws.  It is difficult to put it mildly.  And their relationship naturally carries over to us (me).  They at the very least don't like me.  I think I would be safe to say they detest me.

You see, they believe we are independently wealthy.  They believe we pay for all the cars, the house, and everything else for Daughter and SonIL.  In reality, Daughter and SonIL are by far more wealthy than we, and they are 39 and 41.  She tries to tell them that at one time or another G held two jobs and in reality I had three.  I was a teacher, a part time organist, and ran a craft shop.  Her in-laws try go get out of work.  They want to be on whatever monies they can get - other than work.

OK - so Daughter's SisIL got herself into a real bind with her money.  This is no big surprise since that family feeds off one another.  The feeling is if one has money, and another needs it - well, the money should go to them.

Somehow or another, since her credit is so poor, and she has written so many bad checks, she can't have a checking account.  BUT her father, who has just as poor of a credit report and has written many bad checks can have one.  So this girl gives her checks from work to her dad.  Stupid.  He then thinks nothing of "borrowing" from her.  This is especially true of borrowing that money to give to the youngest (surprise baby??) who they never expect anything from.

So it came time for her rent.  The money was not there.  She has been late so many times that this time was going to mean she was evicted. Rather than come out and ask for money, she posted on Facebook she needed a miracle.

To cut to the chase, Daughter, in her belief that there was something worth saving here, went to her aid.  She found that her SisIL was late on so many bills.  She desperately needed in excess of $1800 to stay in her apartment.  Daughter never gives that family money - she will pay for things.  She knows if she gives money, it will be used for other things - like the rent on a 52 inch (or larger) flat screen HD tv.  (Note-I said RENT)

So Daughter loaned the money, and did put some stipulations on it - like cancelling her middle brother's smart phone, not giving her money to her dad to keep, and some other things.  Those stipulations weren't  met - surprise.

Then at Spring Break, the sister told SonIL's daughter that she felt Daughter and SonIL were angry with her because she sent an email about the grandparents there not seeing the kids.  That broke the whole thing open.  Nothing was going to be said to the remaining family about the loan before this.

The whole situation has now turned toxic - surprised??  It has ended with SisIL "unfriending" Daughter from Facebook.  But then - she did the same to me!!!   I am not heart broken over this.  I accepted her as a friend to keep things from getting uglier if I turned her down.  But I didn't do anything!!

I am really glad there is no "friendship" there.  I don't want to know her business, and I surely don't care for her to know my business.  I do have to laugh however!!!

I think this probably answers my question about having a sibling!

Friday, March 22, 2013

I wonder

(Note - this is just "musings" as my title suggests.  Just all I have this morning!  Nothing earth shattering here)

I was watching The View  and they had a story of a brother and sister who were separated - foster system and so on.  Then, to cut to the chase, they found one another, and oh, the joy.

I am an only child.  When I was a kid, I longed for a sibling.  You just can't imagine how much I wanted a sibling.  Now those of you growing up with a sibling, and especially if you and said sibling didn't get along, probably think I was crazy.  The perception is that I had it really good.  I got everything.

Well, yes I did get everything.  I am sure that I had more of the material things, and I did have all the attention.  In fact, being the only child for my  parents AND an aunt and uncle, I DID get all the attention.  Sometimes that was the problem, but, as usual, I digress.

What inspired this rambling today was wondering how having a sibling must feel.  I read about the relationships with siblings, and I really cannot understand how that bond must feel.  The brother and sister today - they were separated for years.  They don't know anything about the other, but there is such a bond.

Then - there is SIL and his family.  There is not that kind of relationship for SIL and his siblings - at least not anymore.  I know at one time there was a strong family bond, but it was/is a sick one.  What is wanted there is the old family feeling in that "blood is thicker than water."  In fact, he has been told that Daughter isn't good enough - she isn't blood.

In the past years, SIL's family has diligently worked to break bonds with him.  The first was when his youngest brother started a physical fight with SIL at the wedding rehearsal.  Nice.  Then the parents have let him know that their fondest wishes would be to live in a family communal compound.  A literal compound.  Like a cult - a hunk of land with trailers arranged in a circle there - and all monies going into a single pool.  Of course, one of the kinks here is that SIL and possibly his sister would be the only ones putting monies into this pool of money!

I look at my own children.  When Son got into high school, Daughter took him under her wing.  She was his protector - although he didn't really need one once he got started there.  But they formed a group of friends that covered all grade levels.  There was a  group of  high school kids that usually numbered five or six, but could swell in numbers, that ran around together.

I have said often that on a Saturday morning I would never know how many "bodies" would be asleep on the floor of my den!  They were a great group of kids.  I was glad to have them here - I knew where mine were.

My kids aren't as close as they were.  The spouses don't really care for one another, but they tolerate each other enough for get togethers, but there is a feeling of underlying tensions.  My kids will still come to each other's defense however.  Don't cross one of them because the other will be right behind them.  When my step-granddaughter threw Daughter under the bus a few years ago, Son completely cut her off from any relationship.  "Don't do that to my sister."  Daughter will do the same for her brother.  They do really love one another.

So I wonder.  This is a relationship I will never understand.  I will never have.  I do have a step brother, but we were both well into our thirties when that was formed.  We both are only children, but there is absolutely no relationship there.  One flickered when his mother died, but I believe that was from a feeling of shame because he knew how she used my dad's money to set him up royally while trying to shut me out.  At any rate, this relationship is gone.

With my luck, I probably would have had the toxic relationship that SIL has.  I just will never know.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


Now that we are home, and I can lighten up a bit rather than obsess over my precious Simone and wonder about the dumb-a** cat, I can think about the couple of days with the kids spent at the SSB.

My kids and G are scared to death of flying stinging insects, but I didn't realize this fear could extend to harmless ones as well.  The granddaughters came in from the front deck raving about a "pink butterfly" out there that wasn't moving.  I didn't think too much about it.  After all it IS spring (definitely here in Texas), and the insects are rampant.  As for not moving, it had turned a little chilly, plus butterflies are notoriously short lived.

Finally I went to investigate.  There was a beautiful luna moth.  I have never personally been able to see one - only pictures.  So I used this as a great teaching situation.  I pointed out the fuzzy, thickened body, and the antennae that are also rather fuzzy.  I told them this is the characteristic of moths, and butterflies are not like that.

Well - they wanted to keep it.  That was fine with me - I was like that as a kid.  So Daughter got a plastic food storage dish that didn't have lid.  We fashioned one out of plastic wrap with holes.  I never thought she would be rather frightened by that moth, but she was.  It wasn't going anywhere!  But after warming up in the house, it became attracted to the light.  It fluttered in that container.  I thought Daughter was going to run away!!  She was scared of this moth.  You would never know she is the daughter of a biologist. I feel sorry for her - oldest granddaughter seems to be heading the way of a biologist!


Cat update:

When we got home, as I was heading to open the door, there he was, in a his splendor, soaking up the western sunlight that was filtering through the bedroom window.  He remained there as we came in the house, and it wasn't until I went into the bedroom that he finally poked his head through the drapes and meowed.

He was still an ass most of the evening.  He was demanding his half can of wet food, and continued his begging even after he got it.  He bit me several times - although most were just little nips.  As I went to bed, he would still nip.  It wasn't until I turned off the light and settled down that his true desire was realized.

He was able to come up to my chest, snuggle and be snuggled.  He stayed with me most of the night.  That meant that I didn't get a really restful sleep.

I woke at 3 having to "go."   When I swung my legs over the side of the bed, I put my foot right in the middle of a Boxer!  We had a storm rush through last night, and there was some thunder - which I had not heard.  That meant Simone was going to be beside me!  So I waited a while until she felt safe enough to return to her crate.  I then got up, and Shadow ran to his food bowl - which was foolish.

He didn't return until about 6am.  But he certainly was going to get the most loving last night!!  He was purring every time I woke and touched him.  Stupid cat!

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Once again

Yes, once again we have managed to miss the bullet.  I really was making plans to euthanize Simone.  Apparently, it was just another "spell," but I really think these will come more often and be much worse as we go.

She is spry, or at least as spry as an eight plus year old Boxer can be.  She is eating - well.  She is thinking I won't feed her again like I did when she was so sick.  She has a cough that is probably due to her acid reflux.

I don't know.  I do know that as much as I am so delighted she is better, I know it is just a reprieve.  The end is coming.  I will not be prepared even though I know what is looming.

I want to thank you all for your wonderful comments.  I am beginning to feel like the little boy who cried wolf, but she gets so sick.  So I put one and one together, and think this is it - she has reached the end.  Your comments were so warm however, and I am so appreciative.

Shadow still hasn't made his presence known.  I had my son go by again.  I asked him to (gross and probably TMI here) check the litter to see if it had been used.  The bad news is it doesn't look like it.  But I just don't see how he could have gotten out of the house at all.  We had Son open our closet door.  It was the only place he could have gotten locked into.

But the time is growing closer to us going back home.  I pray we get one home alive and find Mr Smarty Pants Cat is OK.  He surely showed us!!!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Horrible, horrible, horrible

That just about sums up the last three days.  They should have been great, but they are simply horrible.  Daughter and clan were here with us; we planned several little trips including a really cool museum, but when I add it up it has been horrible.

How did this happen?  Well, when we were trying to leave, Shadow decided he would show us who was boss.  So he disappeared rather then get into his carrier.  We turned the house upside down trying to find him.  Nice way to leave your house, right?  So we left additional food, water and litter.  He was going to have to make due.

As I have noted here, Simone is definitely on a downward spiral.  Wednesday it got a lot worse.  It was so bad that by Thursday morning I was ready to call the vet here to make sure they could cremate her body after I had them put her down.  She was so sick that she was miserable.

We still think she has, at some point, had a small stroke because she is using her back right leg strangely.  I did forget to add that we had no land line from Tuesday to Thursday, but it had been out since the big storm on Saturday night.  So my call to the vet would have been via cell phone - and that wasn't a good connection.

But she was better that morning.   The girls headed into Mason.  G called about noon.  Simone was sick again.  We argued again.  He blaming me for getting a rescue dog and on and on.  I stopped at the vet.  They can cremate.  Of course the vets would be completely out of the office beginning Friday afternoon.  Great.  That's when she will really turn the corner.

On the way home (about 45 minutes) I cried, thought, talked it out, and whatever   I was ready to get back in the truck with Simone and head back.

To cut to the chase - this morning, she was her new old self.  To translate, she isn't fully well, but she was prancing about.  She is so much better than she was.

This is probably the most disjointed post ever.  Sorry.  That is the way I am feeling right now.

Perhaps we will make it home with our dog.  My son has checked on Shadow.  He cannot find him nor any sign of him (using the freshest litter and all). So will we be minus a cat?   Will we have lost them both?  Don't know these answers.  Dare not guess.

Monday, March 11, 2013

And then it died

When I embarked on this journey of making dog food from chicken and rice, I thought that making the rice would be just fine the way I had always done it - meaning on the stove top.  We don't eat a lot of rice around this house, so when it was made, it was on the stove.

Making two cups of rice daily gets to be a chore when it is done on the stove top, which is the reason rice cookers exist I am sure.  I know our neighbors in Louisiana were the motivating force here.  I now understand why my DIL insisted bringing her rice cooker when she was going to make her gumbo when we were at the SSB for Thanksgiving.  Making rice repeatedly on the stove top is a pain!

When I pointed out my tote full of rice (a 25 pound bag) to my son one evening, he said that was the way it is at his house.  DIL is from Louisiana.  'Nuf said there!  They have rice nearly every night.  Change for him.

So after a week or so of slaving over the stove boiling chicken and making rice on the stove - I decided that I would cave in and buy a rice cooker.  When it arrived, I was so thrilled to put in rice and then some water - plug it in - turn it on, and about 20 minutes later - COOKED RICE!

When I ordered my cooker (I really hate shopping in the stores - and when there is free shipping ...), I considered getting two.  One for here, and one for the SSB.  Then I convinced myself that for the week we are there, I could make it on the stove.  There was no need for another appliance there.

Right - the first night, I felt like the step child.  How could I not have the freedom of using another pot, finding a cover and make sure I set the timer.  Guess who didn't set a timer once, and who had burned rice!  I just couldn't get over having to do more than just boil chicken and put the rice into the magic cooker!

When we went into town the next day to buy groceries, I headed for the appliance aisle - gotta love these Super Markets!  I found the cooker.  That night was wonderful.

So back here I have been using my cooker.  One night, I forgot to plug it in, so that was almost a disaster. But that was the first bad thing until the other night, when I didn't hear it click off.  I went in.  There was no more steam coming from the little vent hole, and the rice looked full and moist.  So I unplugged and turned it off.  All was good.

Last night, I set the whole thing up.  I depend on the rice cooker to help me boil the chicken.  Rice is done, then so it the chicken.  Well, I began smelling fried chicken.  I went in, and the rice cooker was still rice and water - cold.  The chicken was "frying."  My rice cooker had died!

So now I am going to be looking for a  new rice cooker - and a new vacuum sealer, which is another story.  I will be ordering these when we get back from the SSB.  The new replacements will be more of a mid-priced item.  The lower priced (notice I didn't say cheap) ones don't seem to be able to handle the work they have to do here!

And so tomorrow we are off  - and I am glad I have a cooker and working vacuum sealer there!

Sunday, March 10, 2013


Yesterday, Granddaughter #1 was left to babysit Grandson #1 and Granddaughter #2.  Usually there is blood when this happens.  The two others begin to squabble, and then all hell breaks loose.

It didn't happen.  She made them chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, spaghetti with oreo milkshakes for lunch, and they didn't fight.  Today she told me she washed something like 6 loads of clothes, all the dishes, and did various and sundry other things.  Needless to say, Daughter was amazed.  But then I have to admit so was I.

Today we offered to take them to church so she would get a little break.  They all were so good.  We took them to eat after church.  In fact, GD#2's first question after she got back from Sunday School was "where are we going to eat?"  She has our number!  When we got in the car after service, G asked them where they would like to go.  Grandson answered "is it alright with yall?"  You would think we are grumps who would threaten to beat them if they were with us more often!  Geesh!

Yesterday was the day the women's group had set to do a church wide church cleaning - meaning everyone was invited (expected) to be there.  Of course, the one group whom Pastor has turned off wouldn't be there.  Another group, which when you count extended family (members) comes to about 5, wouldn't be there because it was one of the children's birthday parties. Another lady has just completed her radiation therapy for breast cancer.  It kicked her in the boody Saturday.  Another decided that was the day to go to her husband's mother's for the day because her son was home for Spring Break (??? - don't understand that one at all - they have a week).  Everyone else - who knows.

So it was Pastor, Sister Pastor, our Associate in Ministry (a sweet, loving woman whom I adore), G and me.  We did a surface cleaning.  Moved furniture to sweep and thoroughly dusted.  Not much.  It was also to be a St Pat's Day "celebration" but well that kinda fell flat.  I had  my Blarney Pot Roast, and the AIM brought a pizza.

The service today was really great.  Pastor preached with the intensity that he has not shown in quite a while.  He was doing a series based on "When Christians Get it Wrong."  Don't cringe.  Today was on homosexuality.  It was the church's stand on homosexuals.

That topic has caused more rifts and the like than abortion, the death penalty or any other topic around.  In my previous church, it caused our youth director to leave.  In the church we visit when at the SSB, it caused long time members to leave the church.

To boil it all down, after beating this topic to death for over 10 years, it came down to allowing individual congregations to decide whether or not to call a homosexual pastor who has a committed relationship to be their pastor or not.  Pure and simple.  If the folks want them, they get them.  I know we have one congregation here that is in a predominately homosexual neighborhood has a lesbian pastor.  The congregation is unusual  It is gays, lesbians, and a bunch of older people who probably helped to found that church.  The dynamic there is wonderful.  We visited them once.  Lovely experience.

So my weekend has been anything but dull.  All in all, pretty good.  Next week - the SSB!

Friday, March 08, 2013


We have the Houston Livestock and Rodeo going on right now.  This is week one of three.  And no, we don't ride our horses to the event.  They are trailered in.

I bring the show up because Daughter and SIL are on the Horsepartality Committee.  My that sounds like my first paragraph isn't true.  Anyway, during the show there are lots of horse shows and auctions going on.  This week is the adult, professional breeders and ranchers.  Next week are the kids, and the third week I don't know.  We usually don't have a third week.  I guess that was the only way to get another George Strait concert in.

When G and I were younger, we went to the livestock show several times during the show. We had horses, and we went with another couple who had their horses at the same boarding place.  We loved it.

To add another feather to his cap, SIL decided it would behoove him to get on a rodeo committee.  Like they had the time then, and certainly don't now.  But it gave another bragging point o his life.  This is something like the third year they have done this.

Guess who gets the "opportunity" to baby sit when they do this.  That's right. I do find it strange they have ended up on this particular committee since it would be where we would go during the shows.  The last couple of years, their tour of duty has been clean up.  That meant late night.  This year it was 6am to 2 pm.

Guess who got to haul their butt out of bed at 4:30 this morning - that is besides them.  You guessed it.  At least the two older ones had school, so I just had to make sure they were dressed and off to school - me delivering middle son.

I sound like I am complaining.  Not really.  I enjoy being with the kids.  But the timing isn't great.  And this is something they have taken on that they really don't have time for.

But I did get to keep Granddaughter #2 today again.  She is turning into a really cute kid.  This is from a monster diva you have to understand.  I try to plan shopping trips.  They seem to keep her more involved than watching MY tv, and I surely don't want to watch HER tv programs.

We had a great time through it all, and I am probably going to put my rear in bed for a few in a bit.

But first I am going to go ahead and make my "Blarney Beef Pot Roast" for the church wide cleaning/St Pat's celebration scheduled for tomorrow.  That will be one of the biggest busts around these parts.  First, it is the first weekend of Spring Break for these kids; second, my dear friends of whom I have been posting will obviously not be there so I am at minus three already; third, the other faithful attendee will be going to her sometime attending daughter's son's birthday party convoluted enough there?); fourth, MY daughter, et al won't be there; and fifth, I am really expecting Pastor and Sister Pastor to not be there and that will mean no key for the building since they have never deemed my responsible enough for a stupid key.

I am really believing tomorrow will be the biggest fiasco in the history of this church!  And I am a tad upset.

Thursday, March 07, 2013

Dodged another one - so far.

Simone has regained some of her old self.  She is a little perkier, but I am realistic enough to know that with each down time, they do get worse.  And one of these days, she will just continue to go further and further down.

I have had animals all my life.  It is only in the last 30 or so that I have really gotten close to my animals.  They were always outside pets. Now, they are family.  They sleep if not with me (Shadow) - close by in her crate.  They are really family.

The worst part of having an animal, especially one who is family is when the end comes.  As many times as I have had to put them down, it never gets any easier.

I finally noticed that I had poor typing skills and worse proof reading in the last post.   I certainly did not mean to write "dead God" for "dear God."  Not much telling what will come from this computer.  With my poor typing skills, sticky keys on this computer now (I've used it too many times while eating lunch), poor proof reading, and failing eyesight.  I guess one way to help this would be increasing my font size, but I think it would be too tedious to read only about three words per line!!

Wednesday, March 06, 2013

A little scared

Who am I kidding - I am a lot scared.  I am fully aware of Simone's probable age.  We have had her seven years, and we were told they estimated her age as between five and seven when we got her.  As great as they are, Boxers are very short lived dogs.  The oldest Boxer I have ever heard of was ten.  So I know she has to be at least eight, and she was a mature dog when we got her.

She had at least two litter of puppies in her previous life.  She also accumulated some other things in that other life.  She has suspicious (at least to me) scars.  They are on the inside of her hind foot, mussel and a few other places.  All four of her canines have the tips broken off.  Very strange.  I have come to believe she may have been hit by a car at some point.  Just don't know.

At any rate, we are living on borrowed time.  I know that.  Her new diet has been very successful.  She looks forward to it at each meal with great relish.  But ...   There's always that but when you have a pet.  But,   I know that one of these days.

Well, I wonder if that day is coming.  A couple of days ago, I noticed she was salivating more.  No biggie, right?  Yes biggie with this dog.  It heralds nausea which means she vomits and is miserable.   Last night, she took her combo pill - the one that guards against heart worms, fleas, and other intestinal parasites.  She was playful wanting to play with her stuffed duck.

Then it began.  The massive salivating which leads to "licking the air" which is a precursor to vomiting.  I let her out (because dear God knows I have cleaned up soooo much vomit in the house - and she aways heads to a floor covering, not bare floor).  It is dark thirty out there, and she is traveling all over the yard - where I can't see her.

I searched the yard.  I found s sign of vomit, but it was cold.  Could she have vomited after breakfast?  I don't know.  She was out there at least 45 minutes.  I don't know what she did or didn't do.  When she came in, there was still some "licking" but nothing came from it.

When I went to bed, she came to my side for a while.  When she decided to head to her crate, I noticed she was still salivating a lot, but no licking like before.

This morning, she ate well.  But just a bit ago, she began licking again.  She has spend most of her time in her crate, and at least in my skewed mind, I think she is depressed.

So what I have been saying without saying until right now - is this the beginning of the end?  The thought comes with mixed emotions.  The devil in me is saying - well no  more making food every day, and no more worried about her vomiting everywhere, and no worrying about going on vacation and leaving her - with the worry of her dying without me being there .  But then, she has been my faithful companion.  She has helped me through so much these last seven years.  She is a truly wonderful dog.  She is so great with the grandchildren.  She is so sweet and gives so much affection.  She has all the traits one would want in a dog.  We have been so lucky.

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

I AM old!

At family dinner, which turned out to be son, DIL and their various kids, apparently vacations came up.  It appears that we are going to Alaska for another train convention.  I guess they are as good a reason as any to spend unfathomable amounts of money to visit some area for a week.

Anyway, I was saying that we better be home by some date in September because this will be my 50th high school reunion.  I have missed all these reunions save one because we have been gone on vacation.  It is amazing we have been available for you-know-who's reunions however!!

Anyway, DIL said Son has one also this year.  Then she said it would be his 20th.  After the blood came  back into my head, I was able to think a little more clearly.  I was already feeling ancient because it was my 50th, but when your baby will have his 20th, that's a different story.


Monday, March 04, 2013

All's well that ends well - well sort of

Yesterday was "the" funeral.   I was in church before it, and another of the women was so shocked to hear that Grace had died.  She is about the only one in the congregation that isn't on Facebook, and that seems to be the preferred method of communication in the church. ]In fact, the pastor kids this woman about not being on Facebook telling her she needs an account.

This probably isn't wise.  This family is among the top ten givers of the church.  (How do I know this - pastor stupidly held a reception for those people two years ago at Christmas to get our ideas on increasing income in the church.  And NOTHING has changed.  He didn't want to hear our ideas, he wanted us to completely buy into his ideas.  And I digress).  She is already upset by our monetary situation.  She is upset that we are still meeting in a store front in a strip center.  She is upset that we do nothing to bring the youth in with more activities for them rather than just ignoring them (the perceived impression is that children are the worst thing to deal with.).  She is about ready to leave.  It will be a blow - both monetarily and support the work of the church.

Anyway, we left here at 8:30.  "We" were greeters and ushers, but G was the reader and communion assistant.  That meant I was the greeter/usher.  So we worked that service.  After church we went to lunch at a new restaurant which is delicious, and I want to go back - when the big Methodist church's Sunday School class isn't lunching there.  Plus I was in a hurry.  I still needed to buy a fruit tray, a deli tray, and whatever else, then drive pretty much across town for the viewing at 1 and funeral at 2.

To cut to the chase - I got all that done.  There were five other church members there (four were of one family) and many Masonic and Eastern Star friends.  When I got to the house, there was already a lot of food - then I put out the food that Daughter and I bought.

I thought people wouldn't eat much.   I forgot that the oldsters eat dinner at 5.  Just being rude here, but those people were like locusts.  They stationed themselves in the small alcove where the food was laid out.  Looked like a group of vultures!

 Then the Eastern Star ladies arrived.  I knew at that point the cavalry had arrived.  I was once in that organization, and when one of their own is in need, all is solved.  They brought sooooooo much more food.  Of course, the vultures were still stationed about the table.  I hope the family has some food left for a couple of dinners and all.  The two brothers from out of town are there (burial is today because the cemetery doesn't do their thing except Monday-Friday) so the house is rather full of just Grace's extended family.

There are still many, many hard feelings since our pastor hasn't made contact with the family at all.  I wonder if he will ever realize the hole that remains in our ministries with those three women gone??  I certainly do.  It means three Sunday School teachers are gone.  We only had six to begin with.  Sad.

Saturday, March 02, 2013

I am so ...

angry, disappointed, disillusioned?  Any or all of those.  Yes - all

First of all, I know being in the position of dealing with others can be difficult.  I know - it certainly was when I was a teacher.  The same can be said to be true of a pastor.  But ...

One of our Parishioner's mother died.  I have talked about this person before.  She and her two daughters belong to our church.  One daughter was one of the singers we have (we are contemporary don't forget), and al three of them taught Sunday School.  They were very active with the women's group.  They are my good friends.

Then one Saturday, our OCD pastor had his temper tantrum over chair placement.  Things have never been the same since.  It has been no secret that he would have no problem with them going elsewhere - just not in so many words.

He has not called them to see how they are doing after this loss.  He has not emailed, nor made a comment on Facebook.  He has ignored them with the exception of the generic card sent by the church as a whole and  that was done by Pastor Sister.

I am at such a loss for words here.  I am just so angry and hurt by this snub.  I know he is human.  I know he makes mistakes, but this is not the kind of mistake that has an excuse.  None.

I am now considering where I am going to fit into this situation.  I am not a happy Parishioner at this point.  I talked with one of the daughters, and she is hurt so very deeply by all this.

I took the "bull by the horns" so to speak and sent an email asking the women for sandwiches or deli trays for the reception, but it is tomorrow.  I am not holding out for miracles here.  Just a few loaves and fishes please???

I repeat - I am so hurt by this.  Had to unload these feelings.