Sunday, June 30, 2013

This and that - mostly gripes

So - changed the Goggle password - again.   I almost forgot it again.  Usually this happens for several days with each succeeding day getting a new password.  It will be a wonder if at some time I will have a password that means anything to me at all.  But I did get in - this time!!

I am about to blow G up - just boom!  He has been going through this phase, at least I hope it is a phase, where whatever I say is wrong.  If I say the sky is blue, he will correct me.  Yesterday we were talking about  a guy ("Z") whom is a relative to one of us I am sure.  He leads safaris in Africa, and neither of us likes trophy hunters.  G remarked that he didn't like him, and he wondered how he ended up on the piece of land he is on.  I said that his mother must have been a "X."  So he inherited the land,

G turned to me, and with a disgusted look on his face said well why is "Z's" name "X"?  I nearly fell off the chair.  I said - because she married a man with the last name of "Z!"  Score one for me.  G sheepishly turned away and continued on his little trip with only a "oh" murmured.    Perhaps he will THINK before trying to say that I am wrong about something.

Tonight he suggested we order pizzas for family dinner.  Who am I to argue???  So he came in - now remember there are 12 of us - six adults and 6 kids ranging from 12 (and she is a big eater) - 18 months.  SIL is a BIG eater.  He said he was going to order 3 pizzas.  One cheese and two with everything.  I said I didn't think that would be enough.  He walked away saying nothing.  Wanna bet there will be three pizzas???  Wanna bet there will be some hungry people leaving here tonight?

I will let you know.

Saturday, June 29, 2013


I was going to write about other things, but this is my most recent experience.  Of course, right now I have a laundry list of things (and some people) I hate.  Google ranks at the top however.

My memory is poor, used to be good, but it getting really poor.  Like leaving the fluorescent light on at the SSB that ended up being on for five weeks.  Like leaving the griddle on sometimes.  Like FORGETTING STUPID PASSWORDS.

That is the latest with Google.  I forgot the password.  I have three accounts - one is the church women exclusively .  I like to keep the passwords the same except the church women's.   I know it's dangerous, but I love to live dangerously (not);  I also always try to use this laptop with the same internet.  It has my passwords locked up in it.  I just wish I could see them,

So the other day, I was going to sign in to my "main" account.  I forgot the password.  If you forget the password, you are sunk with this computer.  It will not ever plug the correct one in again.  At least not for a while, and I was in a hurry.  So I changed the password - to something I THOUGHT I could remember.

I was just talking to G about it and he snarked that he "writes them down."  I almost came across the breakfast table/my desk to throttle him.  HE has the study with  not one but THREE desks.  I have a breakfast table.  I have no place to put anything that doesn't have to be moved for meals.  I CANNOT WRITE THINGS DOWN.  I do have a notebook, but it is put away so it can be found, and I really didn't want to get all that out right before dinner.

So that password was changed.  Today I was reading blogs and wanting to comment.  You guessed it - I forgot the new new password.  I changed it AGAIN.  I wanted to use the one that is still associated with the "business" Google account - no dice.  So once again, I have three passwords for three accounts.  And I am in a snit over it.

To get to gripe about Google - I had to change the password.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013


Sunday was MY family reunion.  It was the first time I have  been able to attend.  Of course, I didn't know I was a family member until about eight years ago.  I thoroughly enjoyed it!!  I plan to attend next year also.  So that means we have made two reunions so far - one in May, this one in June.  We have another here in July - crazy Germans.  Don't t  hey know it's HOT this time of year!!  Anyway, there is another in August in Dallas - but it is air conditioned.  Smart Englishmen!

Yesterday, my little SIL called.  Her little Schitz Szu (I don't think that's right, but you know what I mean) was bitten by a rattler.  The border collie was interested, but was able to jump away.  Mickey had to see what it was, and got too close.  He was bitten on the foot.

He was rushed into town (25 miles) that was made in 20 minutes.  He had the snake vaccine before, so I was hoping that all was going to be well.  She called again later telling me that they were going to keep him over night.  This morning she called to tell us he died.

Life is hard up here.

Monday, June 24, 2013

It's a zoo

For years, we didn't have much wildlife showing up around the house, but it you read yesterday, you know that is changing.  Is this because we fenced the house off from the rest of the pasture??

So we were looking at the deer eating their candy (corn) on the feeder last night waiting for the moon  to come up.  I had gotten bored with that and walked away when G said "oh, no".  It wasn't en exclamatory no - it was like or no you aren't type of  no.  I went back, and there was a huge raccoon sitting on the plate of the feeder stuffing his face.

Now you have to understand at one point in my life I thought raccoons were aoooooo cute.  I would fight anyone who wanted to hurt them.  Not. Anymore!  They are nasty, destructive, and probably rabid little things. I saw them one night feeding on other raccoons that were road kill.  Yuck.

So, G got one of the rifles.  Yes - everyone out here is armed.  Most of us aren't armed with the assault rifles, but guns are plentiful.  I think you know why.  We are out in the wilds.

Anyway - so that took care of Mr Raccoon.  This morning has dawned cloudy.  That means feral hogs were going to be out.  And one was under the feeder.  So out came the rifle again.  One less pig.  My question was "is the gate closed?"  Our fence is specifically built to keep the hogs away from the house even though it is also to keep cattle away from the house IF the drought ever breaks and we get good pasturage again so we can lease out for cattle.

I was going through my pictures and forgot of another visitor we had on, of course, the back deck.  It was a big tarantula.  We never saw one of those up here before even though we are in their territory.  And I am talking about us being around here off and on for over 50 years.

So we are living in the not so peaceable kingdom.  There are a lot of creatures that can seriously hurt us out there.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Interesting four days

I already was aware of the fact that when we are at the SSB we do more here than we do at home.  This time is certainly no different!

When I came in, I was going to flip on the overhead light in the kitchen.  Well - I had the same feeling I had last time when I flipped the switch, and there were no lights.  This time, the switch was up.  The lights had been left on for over four weeks.  AND they were fluorescent.  Notice I said "were" because they aren't now.  So we put light bulbs on the list.
As usual, we went to Fredericksburg on Friday, the day after we got here, for groceries (and fluorescent) bulbs.  We ate lunch at our usual restaurant.  GREAT salad bar.  Then with our new bulbs and  groceries, we were on our way.

Got home, G was behind me - getting candy (corn) for the deer.  When he got here, he began looking through his wallet.  He didn't have his credit card.  So he called the restaurant.  It was there.  We had to go back to Fredericksburg (45 miles and about an hour away) again.

Friday night was Community Club   It was OK.  We had to see our neighbor with whom there is a little problem.  But it was ok.  My cole slaws for the pulled pork sandwiches was acceptable.

Saturday it was back to Fredericksburg.  We also got items we forgot.  Then I got busy making potato salad and a dessert for MY family reunion today.

All was well, until this morning when I suddenly heard the pistol three times.  I went out.  ANOTHER snake around the back deck.  Only this time it wasn't an innocent (but ultimately dead) coachwhip.  It was a four foot Western diamondback rattlesnake.  G was checking something else.  He had just been in that area.  When he came back, he saw this snake slowly heading from the brush to get under the deck.

We thought it was dead, and went to the reunion.  After, he got gloves to pull it out from the base of the deck.  I went to get a picture.  I kept looking at the head. My brain was telling me that it was lifting the head, but I was just in shock sort of.  No couldn't be!  Then it turned a bit toward me.  That was the end of that.  I was in the house before you could whistle Dixie!!  This time it is dead.

Ah, the events of being in the Texas Hill Country where wildlife reigns!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

It is done.

SIL signed the papers he needed to sign and got his mother to, reluctantly, sign permission for Jim to be cremated.  So it is done.

Last night there was still discussion about a memorial service.  SIL asked his sister specifically, but the whole family "what church to you attend?"  Crickets could be heard.  He asked who would do the service?  Crickets again could be heard.  He said - that's my point.  Just where do you propose to have this.

His Sister in Law said that they know a lot of people (???  probably from softball) who are members of a country club that they could possible rent the room for $100.  My thought as he was telling me this was who in the family (SIL and Daughter excepted) has $100.

Apparently the "viewing" idea finally got squashed.  I think the lady from Nepture Society told them all the things that would have to be done - including the oversized coffin for the 400 pound man, and gave prices.  At least SIL was able to meet with her ALONE and finalize the service.

They will separate the ashes into six packets.  Step granddaughter got her wish  to be included in the immediate family.  SIL told them they would have to get their own urns.  Don't blame him there.  This was fine with the brothers, but sister is still being sister.

This death may have been good in that the youngest brother seems, at least for  the moment, to have grown up a little.  His parents ruined him.  They let him drop out of high school.  The mantra in the family was always don't upset J***.  He was a spoiled brat, and has remained so into his late 30's.  I really thought he and SIL would get into a physical fight - it has happened so many times before.  But last night as they were decompressing, those two brothers were actually able to sit and talk like grown men.  That's good.

The other brother really needs mental help.  He just isn't with the program.  He has inherited the mental illness that "runs in the family."  Sister is showing signs of it developing also.  Sad.  Mom has had it for a long time.

The mom was released from the hospital, but she is still in really bad shape.  The youngest son's wife has realized that Daughter and SIL have taken on, and solved the one parental problem, but since the rest of the kids live in San Antonio, they have to now step up to the place and organize how to take care of Mom.  Like who drives her to dialysis, etc.  Glad to hear that too.  I don't think Mom is going to last long, but SIL is going to look into Medicade facilities for her.  That is what she really needs/  And, of course, there is no money.

To even try to HINT things were settled would be silly.  Sister is miffed that SIL is having the death certificates send to him and will take over settling things.  As I told him this morning, she really hasn't proven she is capable of handling anything.  Her life is a mess - and has been for as long as I have known of her.  So there is still plenty of drama on the horizon.


As for crematory rates.  The funeral home was going to be $4000 for no frills.  But then I know funeral homes - charge as much as possible - gouge the grieving.  That figure changed when they found out his size.

There was a $595 on line, but daughter, being a little generous and wanting to show SOME respect, was afraid of it.

We have done our pre-planning with Neptune.  Ours includes the air lifting of the body back home, so there is a little more to it.  We were right at the $1500 price I believe.  For Jim, I think it was more like $1800.  That included his size and mailing the ashes here to this area.

So prices are all over the board.  I think all of these places work from a single crematorium.  So I don't understand all the differences in prices!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

You won't believe this!

We were all set to be angry with Daughter and repay tit for tat.  We were going to "ignore" her - like not go over if invited and so on.  But when she called me right after noon, things changed in a hurry.

I answered the phone - which is another story as we are having phone problems.  She said she needed me to go to the house immediately because SIL's father died.

Now his mother has been in the hospital off and on for a year.  She is on dialysis, and a laundry list of illnesses, but other than being very obese (think 400+ pounds) and having some heart problems that were treated years ago with by-passes, he was rocking along - we thought.

His second son went in to wake him at 5 am so he could go to the hospital to have breakfast with SIL's mother.  When he wasn't there by 10, the daughter called.  Second son went in to the bedroom and found him dead.

That was the first of the unbelievables.

SIL called, and I cut him off saying I was on my way as soon as I put on clothes.  They are a mile away.  I was going to detract the kids from what was going on.  SIL was completely distraught.  That was the second unbelievable for me.  His dad was terrible.  But like an abused puppy SIL always crawled back after his dad hurt his feelings so badly.

I didn't know what the kids knew, so I announced when I got there - let's go get a drink.  It was then I remembered I had given my cash at church for supplies for the Gay Price parade that we are working with.  So I knew it had to be Sonic.  I could use "plastic" plus I could go to the covered order area while the kids decided what they wanted.  I ended up with an ice cream thingy with butterfinger in it.  NO WILL POWER!

Daughter got home, SIL left to go to San Antonio.  Second brother was still sitting in the house in San Antonio with the body.  The Medical Examiner released the body - over the phone  !   Never set foot in the house - or out of the ME's office.  The only official there was a patrolman.

So second son called a near by mortuary. But these people, and I have ranted about them many times, have no money.   They are on food stamps, disability, and on the county health stuff.  They have no money, and if they did they would spend it on crazy crap.   There is no money for a funeral.  This has been known for years, and Daughter and SIL have prepared for the fact.  And they are going the cremation route for his parents.  G and I are too, but our's is taken care of - totally.

Daughter called this mortuary to find out their cremation will cost in excess of $5000.  It finally came down that the mortuary gave them the Neptune Society ( our group!).  It will run $1700 approximately.  They will come to get the body.

As of last night, all was well.  Both brothers  appreciated SIL and Daughter getting this taken care of.  THEN - enter the bitch sister.  You know, the one who borrowed $1800 only to get angry when they asked for repayment?  She is having a real fit.

Their mom got out of the hospital today.  She wants to see the body.  It will cost $300 for 10 minutes because that's how long the body can be out of cold storage.  Now the whole family, who with the exception of SIL were there before the body was removed.  They saw the body.  Even my pushy step granddaughter who I thought didn't need to be exposed to that.  G said "well, she's 20 - she can take it."Now the sister wants a viewing.  Which means a casket, preparing the body, clothing for the body (the "body" didn't ever dress up so doesn't have the kind of clothes needed for this), having a place for the viewing.  And all this from someone who is $1800 in debt already to people who will pay for the poor man have at least some form of a nice ending.  There is some respect there rather than the way he would have to be handled since there is NO money from the other three siblings, the granddaughter who considers herself a sibling and is putting her nose in where it doesn't belong, and the wife.  NO MONEY.  AT ALL.  It takes money to die these days, and this family thinks they are going to live forever so there no money, no insurance, nada - except Daughter and SIL who are simply taking care of things and trying to do it in a respectful way.

You just can't understand some people.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Surely she didn't

But, oh yes she did.  Daughter not only missed dinner on Sunday, she didn't even call her dad.  There was -- wait for it -- a swim meet.

It is no secret that G and I are NOT rabid sports fans.  These sports for kids have gotten completely out of hand.  We really hate these events that take place on Sundays, but when they are on "holidays" like Mother's Day or Father's Day, we really find them absurd.

So that was the case yesterday.  It was the 'Pentathlon" event of summer league (I guess).  They spent the entire day at this thing - I am talking about from about 7 am to 9 pm.

She called at 8 yesterday saying they weren't gong to be in church.  I asked about dinner, and it was THEN she said she doubted it.  She has know this little fact for weeks.  Weeks!!!!!

We were going to celebrate Father's Day and SIL"s birthday.  Well - he wasn't here last night.  For a special celebration I decided I would make seafood lasagna.  With fresh seafood.  Not a cheap dish.  I plan and begin to execute the menu early, and I buy the ingredients before Saturday evening.  So I had planned for 12.  It was 7.

There was never another call for her father until 10:32 last night.  Our phone system is strange, so it rang once here, but several times on the caller end.  It went to voice mail.  She was calling - then.

So perhaps the feelings I dumped on you last week - I guess they weren't too far off.

To find a positive to end on - at least I got to give my total attention to the little grandkidlets.  They amaze me in that we don't really spend as much time with them, but you would think we saw them everyday.  There is no shyness in our relationships.  Interesting.

Other than the usual typos because I can't type, you may find some strange words in this.  I picked up my new glasses.  I can't see s*it.  I don't know if my eyes are acting up or if the glasses aren't what they should be!   At least they are guaranteed.  They may be going back.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

What is wrong with me?

I am beginning to wonder if I might be slightly manic/depressive - if there is such a thing.

Right now I am obsessing about relationships.  I am feeling very ignored.  I KNOW that isn't really true - notice said "really" as if there is a doubt in my mind.   Then I begin worrying about the time I have left.  I know there aren't too many days out there for me.  I hate that.  I want to be around to see my grandchildren and for that matter even their grandchildren.

Crazy.  Absolutely crazy.  I think I am still very childlike in my view of life.  Deep down, I believe I am invincible.  This dying stuff - why that' s for other people.

When I really begin to accept that I am mortal, I pout.  Every time I think of dying, I think my family really ought to be spending time with me.  They'll be sorry when I am gone.  Then they won't have the opportunity.

Then I begin to think "I hope they WILL miss me rather than be glad I am gone."  And, without going into even more detail that will  make me look WORSE, I don't want to be like some of those who have gone on and I was relieved - even glad.

When Daughter first moved back here, we spent Saturdays together.  We would go out shopping.  That doesn't happen any longer, and I miss it.  It was a grand time being together talking, sharing.  Now with three kids who are involved in swimming (all of them), baseball, gymnastics/cheer leading (although not as much), she doesn't have much time to catch a breath.  She won't tell anyone "no" so she is on the swim board, she id the treasurer for the swim team, she is active in the year-round swim, she is treasurer for church, and on and on.

Now if I really reflect on it - there is no way I can do the shopping anymore.  My back begins to feel like someone has skewered me on a huge sword.  The pain is such I begin to sweat.  I look for a place to sit.  She knows this, so for both of our sake, she just goes when she has to.

Lady Bug used to want to spend time with me.  Now she is almost a teen.  When she has free time, and COULD get over here (one mile) on her own, she doesn't.  In fact I put myself into a huge funk when I had the Kindle sent to her.  That night - no call.  Found out it was Awards Night (which wasn't mentioned until after the fact - you make your decision about how I felt there), swim practice the other nights.  Finally on Sunday I got a quick kiss.

I have shared my blue funk with you, and I am sure you are quite bored.  So I will go along and just soak in it !   Such a "wise" decision!  NOT.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

How things change!

From Friday when I got the email from our Associate in Ministry until yesterday, I was riding a roller coaster - and didn't know it when I got on.

We needed to provide meals to Sister Pastor.  She is having (today) her neck vertebrae fused.  She will be recuperating for two weeks.  When  I talked to her, she indicated she wanted meals every other day.  Ok so it will be.

Saturday I had three in the Women's Group volunteer.  Great.  I already had several, but this is great.  We have extras.  I figured we needed 8 meals (actually 7, but one lady is following up tomorrow which wasn't a scheduled day).

So I came home - listed the dates we needed food, asked prople to sign up AND say what they were providing.

Our member with ALS was the first to respond (both times I may add).  She did as I requested.  Then others came in - many not telling what they were providing.  Then we got several who are going to order from the chef in the neighborhood who does this for a living.  Great.  I was feeling pretty good.

THEN I was down to two days left.  There were no responses.  I thought Daughter and I would have to fill in those days.  I waited and waited.  Finally someone responded.

I sent out an email thanking all for stepping up or considering to bring food.  That email was followed up with a response of "I don't see June 22.  I will take that one."

I am not that stupid.  I wouldn't have sent the email with the message that it was all taken care of if it hadn't been.  Geesh.  So I nicely responded back thanking her once again but all spots were, indeed, taken.

Something that I really thought would have been a slam dunk turned out to be a real pain.  I guess that's the way things go.  What appears easy on the surface really isn't when you dig further.

Oh, well - done.  Now I will get her  "get well prayer angel" into the  mail.  It might be there before the weekend even.

Monday, June 10, 2013

I am so in love!

Oh yes.  I am so in love - with my Kindle.  Now if truth be known I don't love the Fire as much as the plain vanilla Kindle. But that little thing may be the issue that causes what I consider a problem with the Fire. The plain one is hard to see, so I have an external light.  The Fire is very visible, and that makes the battery not last which is what I don't like about it.

I also am in love with the various places that offer free/discounted books.  At first I didn't think I would like these books.  After all I am such a literary snob (LOL).  But I have recently read three free books that I have absolutely adored.

I went ahead and became an Amazon Prime member so I could borrow books there.  At first I was a little disappointed with the selection.  Once again - no best sellers by big authors.  I have really enjoyed all but one of those books,

I can't believe in the last four weeks I have read three books.  I know - some of you read a book in a week or less.  I only read before bed, and I usually fall asleep after about 5 pages, so it takes me a while to read a book.  My "library" in the bathroom always has a book (paper back).  So I read about a page to a page and a half at a time and in three months I am half through that paper back.  I'll get there.

I cannot stand to just sit.  I have to have a book, sewing, something.  I always have a book with me.  There is one in the door of the car.  It is one of the "Girl With ..." books by the Swedish author.  I found it boring, but to have in an emergency - it's great.

I really though I would never give up the real books in my hands.  I thought I wouldn't like the Kindle, but I love, love, love it.  I don't lose my place when it slips out of my hands when I fall alseep!

Thursday, June 06, 2013

Run, run, run

Today was my sewing club.  The project was/is little flip flop like coasters - really cute.  But I just wasn't into bumping the 50 pound machine down and back up the steps today.  So I went, bought the packet of material, sat for a while.  Only three people brought machines.  So there wasn't much instruction, but I am fairly confident that I am able to read the instructions that are in a PDF file!

Then I went to get glasses.  You know, when we have insurance that provides free frames, and what it showed was a credit of $130 I should have been able to get my glasses at a fairly low price.  Yeah, in my dreams.  I am so vain that I MUST have progressive lenses.  I don't like that line across my field of vision.  Then the salesperson convinced me that transitions are better than they were, so I bit.  Then the coating that protects, and on, and on.  Finally $230+.  I am just happy that the macular degeneration was settled down to the point that I am able to get new glasses.  I am not sure the lenses are big enough for the progressive part.  These old ones cut into the reading field.  We will see.

From there I went to the craft/fabric store so I could spend more money on these blasted diaper cakes.  I needed ribbon. Plus I will make the little baby washcloth corsages again.  So I needed the wire (of course I can't find my BOX of floral wire), better florist tape and corsage pins that wouldn't hold a bridal bouquet on the girl's chest.

I went to the bank to put the check for the house in San Antonio directly into my checking account because if I don't I will be overdrawn in a short time.  The $400 vet bill before Simone died was quite a blow.  If I don't have to use that money, I will move it to the money market account where it belongs.

Then I called home to see if G needed or wanted anything.  I offered to pick up lunch for him, but he had eaten.  SO I went to the Golden Arches.  I do like their salads, but I can never remember the name of the salad I love.

Of course when I got there, there was  no line, and someone pulled in behind me.  I don't visit there often, so I am not familiar with their drive through menu - besides it changes every time I go through!!  So I asked for the Southwest salad.  It wasn't what I had in mind, but at least it  made me get through easily.

It was good, and I enjoyed it  - until I forgot there was a lime wedge in the salad.  I was finishing the salad off when I put something horrid into my mouth.  It was that blasted lime.  Yuck.  What a gruesome end to a fairly nice morning!

Wednesday, June 05, 2013


Last Friday, as you possibly know, was a terrible day for the Houston Fire Department.  They lost four brave firefighters in the horrible motel fire.  There is a good side - we are more than fortunate that that dive burned down, but to take the life of four heroes is horrible,

One of the firefighters was also with our little city fire department.  My family feels a closeness with these fallen heroes because G, Daughter and Son were all in the department here for a while.  So even if Firefighter Bebee had not been with our local department, we still would have felt a kinship with these people.

They have been showing the memorial service for these folks this mornings. It began at 10, and it is 12:15 and still going on.  I don't begrudge the memorial, but the uncle on one of the firefighters spoke first.  He rambled on and on for at LEAST 30 minutes.  I really believe it was more like 45.

At one point, two on the dais people went up to him, but he just brushed them off saying "I'm OK."  And he went on and on.

I complain.  But it is a very sad day.  To have one firefighter give his life is sad.  This is the worst thing that has happened to HFD.  They still have another man who is in critical condition in an induced coma.  I pray he makes it.


When I was writing on Sunday, I think I used too many pronouns in the last paragraph.  My son and DIL are close friends with one of our local police.  Son and DIL were on their way here for dinner when they saw the Officer patrolling.  They invited him to come by the house to chat.  He did so, but had his blasted lights going.  That got the attention of our neighbors who came out of their houses to see what was going on!!

I do have to add this to the story.  My neighbor across the street, Lynn, really believes that the folks living on her east side are into illegal activities.  Of course, when they slaughtered the baby goat hanging from the basket ball goal in the driveway, I guess that rather set her attitude about them!!

She thinks they might be running drugs.  I don't know.  From what she talks about, it could be since they were taking the seats out of a Suburban that they were taking to Mexico and putting something in it.

Anyway - IF they are involved in something illegal, I am sure they were sweating seeing this particular officer out there.  He is the one who has been investigating them!  Not that they know I think, but he really wanted to bust them!

That makes our neighborhood sound terrible.  It isn't so.  This is a strange situation over there.  They don't own the house.  A guy from the north somewhere owns the house.  He bought it so that he would have a place to stay when he comes to visit his son who lives nearby.  So strange, strange!!!

Monday, June 03, 2013

A new day

And it's some better than before.

I survived playing for church.  It wasn't perfect, but then what do you expect from a 67 year old woman who retired from playing for churches 12 years ago, has arthritis in most of her fingers (from playing keyboard for 61 years, and is nearly blind in one eye (and can't see out of the other as the old joke goes).   We have someone who sings into the mike to lead singing.  Yesterday, we had the young woman who is really cute and sweet.  She was running late.  I thought "no problem" because we had old hymns.  Problem!  She didn't know the two middle ones, and we had no time to go over them.

The other problem was that the words that are projected on screens didn't match the words in the books we had.  In fact, my version of one hymn had three verses - the one on the screen had four!!  But we gpt through it.

The "workship" went so well.  We needed layers for 20 diaper cakes, and I think we may have gotten 35 or so.  AND we had diapers left over.  Successful indeed.  We make these into decorated cakes on Saturday.  I will only be there for a bit - my son's oldest son is having his delayed from February splash birthday party.  Even in Texas we don't have splash parties in February.

My mood took a nose dive when I checked Facebook yesterday however.  I am still very active (with money anyway) with the local Boxer rescue.  G first said that absolutely we will not have another dog, but reading "the last will of a dog" that said the best way to honor your deceased dog is to have another, he is ready to adopt again.  But we will wait until after September.

In September, we are going to Alaska for a train convention, and then immediately to San Antonio for my 50th high school reunion.  I doubt that my real friends will attend.  I don't think they attended the other reunions, but then I didn't either.  Somehow we were always traveling then.  Amazing - but we managed to  make G's.  Hmmm.  Anyway, with the busy month, I was always worried about Simone if she were still alive.  I could just see her taking a bad turn and not making it to the end of our trip.  I hated the thought of her dying while in boarding.
So with that history - I always read the updates from the Boxer rescue.  Some of those babies stay around for a while, and who knows, I might meet my new dog!  But yesterday, they had an emergency rescue.  Someone dropped a 15 year old (which is absolutely amazing - they usually only live 8 -10 years) boxer at a high kill shelter.   I guess they wanted her euthanized  there so they didn't have to be bothered.

As I was reading the comments, I was crying my eyes out.  I knew my pain was just too fresh.  I couldn't bring her in here only to have her pass soon.  Others had the same comment.  They had just put their precious ones down recently.  Even the ones who had previously had to put their 8 - 10 year olds were saying how they would have loved to have had them five years longer.  The comments were like this throughout.  I cried and cried.

The good news is that either by people taking some of the dogs that are in the vet offices to foster, or taking her (and another one who was found) both girls will be pulled today.

I can't understand people like this.  Just two weeks ago, someone took their 9 year old to a high kill shelter because hI simply cannot imagine doing this.  Beyond me.

So - on other fronts - family dinner was good - not as great, but good.  My DIL had all our neighbors out looking because she is very good friends with one of our policemen.  In fact, they went to prom together.  They saw him when they were coming in, and told him where they would be.  So he shows up - with his lights on!!!    He parks in front, and Son and DIL go out to talk to him.  We had most of the neighbors out wondering what the problem was!!  What a way to end a Sunday evening!

Saturday, June 01, 2013


Today IS a better day.  It couldn't get a lot worse, but I am not going to temp fate and say it couldn't get worse.  Oh, yes it could!

Yesterday I was very low - depressed.  That really doesn't happen often, but it did yesterday.  I just couldn't  find my "happy spot."

I've heard it said that once you get the "C" diagnosis, you appreciate each and every day.  And I guess that is right for the most part, but yesterday (and Thursday too really) I was very weepy.  I realize I am still mourning Simone.  That will go on for a while.  To be honest, there are times I mourn my other Boxer, Taz.  He has been gone about 10 years.

Part of my mood may be attributed to the fact that I said I would play keyboard tomorrow for church.  I was allowed to pick hymns, but I was pressured into one that I knew I really wasn't good at.  I am still having a time with it.  I have been away from church playing for at least 11 years, and my vision and arthritis combined give me a hard time.  But I said I would do it, so I am.

We are also making diaper cakes tomorrow for the group that tries to give support to teens and other girls who are pregnant - and didn't really mean it.  This group supports them to get through high school and NOT get pregnant again. They are armed with the tools to just say no to these boys!

Anyway, our congregation has "workships."  In this one, we will roll the diapers they have contributed into little rolls that will be put into a two-layer "cake" which at our Women's meeting, we will "ice" with the decorations.

All these things coming together are just pressure, and I think I react by withdrawing.  That means that I am in this little dark place  - with my thoughts.  Not a good place then.

Hopefully, tomorrow afternoon, the skies will brighten (although our forecast is for rain!).  But I am looking forward to getting out of this cave back into the light!