Thursday, March 30, 2017

Still Not Done

TJ was found dead December 30.  We still cannot close this incident.

G had to call the ex-husband last week because the storage place called him wondering what was going to be done about the rental on the unit for February and March.  Not our problem, but he called the ex.  Supposedly that has been taken care of.

They went on talking and Troy was talking about the problems his current wife is having.  She has had two heart attacks and is facing spinal disc fusion surgery.  This is a hard time for him.  Even after he and TJ divorced, I know he still cared for her a lot. It was a case of where love simply wasn't enough.  

Troy said that the internment of TJ ashes would probably not happen until next month.  Understood.  Other than closing this chapter, there certainly is no rush.  BUT - I wish he had simply said his wife needed his attention. Instead, he said Drew just wasn't ready.  

To use a common phrase: "I call bullsh*t on that."  That young man isn't broken up over this.  And I sincerely doubt that he is wearing the locket with her ashes.  I doubt he has had one made.  

A positive of his non-caring - at least it appears he hasn't been at "her" house in a while.  We don't go onto the property, but the last two times we have been to the SSB, there are no signs of life around the place.  I don't trust him, and I don't want him on our place.  It appears even the hunters haven't been there.  I know Doug WON'T go back because I think he would beat Drew to a pulp.  To my knowledge, Mike has been kicked off by Drew because he had the nerve to stand up to Drew about the animals.  There is another guy G met in January, I believe, but we haven't seen anything of him either.  Strange.

In the credit card mess.  I think I have finally taken care of all payments that are made via that card.  It hasn't been easy.  Yesterday I spent the better part of an hour trying to get one particular medical billing taken care of.  In the last 4 months, I have had a change in email (Earthlink dumped my free email - after only 25 years!!), my health insurance company changed, and my credit card changed.  That does a lot of changing on medical things!

But as for now, things seem to be moving along rather smoothly.  Katie has gotten her drivers' license.  All the others are doing well.  So I guess all is right in our world.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

It happened.

My Discover Card has been hacked.  I have had my card for over 20 years.  I have never been hacked.  And they did a fantastic job in one day.

I happened to look at an email alert on my phone.  It said there was unusual activity.  Discover is so good about tracking this nonsense, only tonight it surely wasn't nonsense.  With the first notice, there was already $1000 charged.  All in all the amount was closer to $2000.  I am going to sound like an as for Discover, but I will owe nothing on this.  Not. A. Dime.

The real problem here is now I have about 10 services that I have paid through that card.  This is going to be a monumental process.  I don't have the new card yet, but when I get it I will have to begin this process.  And of course - we WILL BE AT THE SSB.  (I need to have a blood draw - fasting, and Monday the earliest appointment is 11:45 - so I will change the entire appointment with Dr. Poison.  Not a convenient time to be gone at all)

I also think I know how my card was compromised.  We ordered a pizza in February.  That is the ONLY out of the normal charge I made.  A whopping $28 and some change.  We never charge these, but neither of us had cash.  I don't carry cash, and G was low not having gone to the bank recently.  Someone at that Pizza Hut scammed my card.  I so hope they get caught.

G said they waited a long time to use it.  Well - sure. I will bet this isn't the first time they have done this.  Waiting would mean there would be less of a chance that this would fall back on them.  But they were stupid in that they didn't leave this area.  The greater Houston area is LARGE.  Our neck of the woods is just a small area in comparison.

So I am feeling really unsettled.  My faith is people is trashed.  I know things like this happen.  It happened at a fine-dining restaurant several years ago.  G's card that was used to pay for the meal was compromised and at the same time, my daughter's card which was used to pay for drinks was too.  They were smart with G's.  They made small purchases at a Kroger.  BUT they were exactly the same amount minutes apart.  USAA was the card issuer and picked up on it immediately.  They called and canceled the card.

In a way, I have some sympathy for these people.  They missed out on a lot of life lessons.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Interesting week


I think I am going to have a love/hate relationship with my PCP.  W*lgreen's is my usual pharmacy (unless it is a three month supply), and those prescriptions are on a fill as needed.  (Just thought - so are my mail ordered ones) Anyway, Nurse Practitioner put me on a thyroid med.  It was a 28 day supply, and on Sunday last the pharmacy sent a refill OK to the office.  I had pills to last until Thursday.  There was no notification that the script had been filled, so, on WEDNESDAY I  called the Dr office.  They then allowed the script to be filled.  If I have to do this on all my meds, there is not any reason to have the dispensing pharmacies to follow them for me.  I don't want to have to call the office each and every time.  I am not going to be a happy camper on this.

As for the new cardio doc, I am at an age where change is hard.  I THINK I like him.  I was surprised for him to do both an EKG and an echo on that first visit.  Waiting with baited breath for the EOB on the insurance.  I THINK they approved them, but we will see.  I was fully expecting him to change my meds.  I got the idea when they came due right after the other cardio guy retired.  The doctor in that practice didn't want to renew one because another was basically the same med.  Then with the new PCP when they came due, that was when she said I had to see the cardiologist.  He really didn't like that combination, so I am on new meds.  I wonder if age didn't get to the old cardio doc.  I am sure he was pushing 80.

Yesterday my daughter's youngest spent the day with me.  She was amazed that I called to see if she would like to do that.  I usually take the oldest (16 years
 old).  Karrington is 9, and she hasn't been really able to handle some things, and I do so much better with the older kiddos anyway.  But I decided I would try.  Katie is in Cali for the Olympic Development National games, and I knew My grandson would probably have baseball games all day.  She was elated, even saying "she wants ME to spend the day?"  That told me a lot!

So we experimented with baking a cake.  That went well, and she was still not bored - not telling me how much she missed her mom.  (Mom had been out of town since Tuesday - business trip Tuesday through Thursday, coming home only to leave the next morning for Cali until Monday).  Karrington is a MOMMIE'S GIRL!

After we completed the cakes, we went up to my "woman's cave" - the upstairs.  That has exploded into my craft area - completely.  She had been asking me to teach her how to sew.  I honestly wasn't sure how that was going to go,  When I tried it with Katie, it wasn't so good. But up we went.

I cut some muslin into strips and had her practice just sewing straight.  She did that fairly well, and I found a  scrap of fabric that had been a sample of drapery fabric.  I cut it in half and told her we were going to make a pillow.  Her eyes lit up.

To make it a little fancier, I got a scrap of felt.  I chose a simple design on the other embroidery machine to put a design on the pillow.  We had to wait for her to sew the seams on the pillow while I did the embroidery.  She came over to watch and she was completely fascinated to watch that machine work!  I admit it is fascinating to watch that machine sew all by itself.

Then we went back to the machine she was working on.  She sewed the seams (she got one perfect - and I had to resew two others) she turned the pillow and stuffed it.  She was beaming the whole time.  She is hooked.  She said she didn't know sewing could be so much fun.  She wants to come back on Monday - which is great.  It is her Spring Break, and at least she will have something to do.

She really matured a lot yesterday! My BP is coming back under control, and I have at least a month of my meds.  All good.

Tuesday, March 07, 2017

Hello!

Still in pretty much of a writing funk.  One day just melds into another without anything unusual happening.

I really don't quite understand why it has been decided to bury the "beautiful urn" that was bought for TJ's ashes.  Mine can go into the "free" wooden box we got when we arranged for our cremation.  What happens after that - I don't care.  I won't know and will be WAY beyond caring.  BUT "they" want to bury those ashes in the plot where a lot of the family is buried.  Of course,c there is a hitch.

I absolutely detest the company that manages this cemetery.  They handles - bungled really - my dad's funeral, and have given G's family grief about these plots they own.  And it continues.  Seems like BIL and G have to send NOTARIZED statements as remaining kin owning this site (and so was TJ, but I guess she no longer counts) that she can have her ashes put there.

We were supposed to trek to San Antonio the last weekend in February, but this has, obviously, been postponed.  The real kicker here is it is going to cost her estate over $900.  Just to put an urn in the ground!  There will be no funeral but the funeral director gets something like $600 of that.  I really, really detest this bunch of creeps. They are true vampires of the funeral business.
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In October my cardio doc retired.  I seem to have a negative influence on my doctors (although I guess retirement is good). My ortho guy who replaced both knees died of a heart attack a few months after doing my knees.  I still need to find someone I like and trust to check them on a regular basis.  I haven't, and it's been several years.

I always thought I didn't need a cardio doc just to manage blood pressure.  So I finally found a PCP.  When I made the appointment for the highly suggested physical, the Nurse Practitioner was available, and I thought that would be perfectly fine.

All has gone well - until.  There's always an "until" isn't there.  I had signed a ream of requests for my records from the stable of physicians I have.  I have quite a regime of meds from the cardio doc, and I was doing really well.

When it came time for a refill on those, the NP wouldn't refill one the way I had been taking them.  I was told to - get ready for it - to go back to a cardio doc.  I wasn't supposed to be taking that amount of the med.  So now my BP is raging, and guess what - I have an appointment with a new CARDIO DOC.  Sheesh.   I surely miss my old doctors who have retired, died, and retired and then died!
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And so it goes.  Just one excitement in my life after another.  And I still don't always have the urge to put it down "on paper,"  Perhaps one day ...

Monday, February 13, 2017

Wow!

At first, I thought I wouldn't be able to get to this spot!  After about 30 years with Earthlink - my email address, I got dropped.  Just because I was getting an email address free for all this time - I mean gosh!  WAAAAY back when our cable company was Warner, then Time Warner, and now Comcast I signed up for my internet with Earthlink.  They were THE choice.  Of course then came Road Runner and so many more.  Yes - I have two Gmail accounts and a Yahoo account, but we just kept Earthlink.

I had been getting emails about my credit card having expired.  Well, yes, it certainly did.  But there are so many scams about money these days, I just ignored them.  I wasn't going to PAY for that service anyway - it was just an email account.  Then in December, they sent one saying they were going to close the account.  I didn't take it very seriously, but I DID make a copy of my address book - you know, just in case.

Well February 3, I was locked out.  So I decided Gmail was good.  I don't expect them to go belly up anytime soon.  So that there is a third email account with them.  This is where my problem for today began.  Without really thinking I went to the new account to sign in here.  When it was to set up a new blog, I realized my mistake and came to this account.  When I signed in, it wasn't MY PAGE.  I am so terrible with this form of social media, even after all these years, I was lost.  I thought this page was lost to me to write on!  But alas - here I am and I can continue with what I was going to say today!


Last week TJ's ex called to tell us that TJ was finally cremated.  The autopsy report came back indicating she had a heart attack.  There was a part of me that felt relief.  Her death wasn't something more lingering - until I thought about it more.  How long did the heart attack last?  Was she trying to get to her phone?  Was she suffering long?  I just was caught thinking about her dying alone.  All alone.  I know it had to be painful.  Was she afraid?

It was then I realized I am not over the whole incident.  I was thrown back into thinking about it all and worrying about what happened.  The autopsy report did nothing to stop my thinking about it.

Then last night at family dinner, my SIL was talking about the trade show he and his company was showing at.  He was saying in a booth about four down from them a chef was cooking but then told his colleagues that he needed to sit down.  He wasn't feeling right.  He then lost consciousness and died.  He had a heart attack - right there.

Why am I mentioning this?  Because it gave me hope that TJ died the same way.  She felt something different, knelt down (she died in a position like she was kneeling in prayer, but holding her midsection) and died.  How I hope this is what is was.  And it very possibly was.  She didn't thrash about.  She wasn't askew,  She was just kneeling.  How I hope it was quick as this man did.

Her ex went on about the internment.  I know we will be cremated.  But the kids are going to have to do something with our ashes,  I am not going to take up any land anywhere.  That's just me.  In this day and time, no one in big cities visits graves (or mausoleum either).  I haven't been to my parents' since Dad died.  We don't even go to San Antonio anymore.  But whatever.  The BIL and SIL will have say as to when that will happen.  Of course, no worry about when WE could make it - since we are the furthest away.  But ok.  that will be that.

The ex also asked if G wanted any of TJ's ashes.  G was rather astonished at THAT one, but the rationale was that DREW wanted some to put in a locket to wear around his neck.  I almost laughed out loud.  Good show, Drew.  You couldn't even show up for the memorial and you didn't stay long for the luncheon.  And it wasn't because you were so devastated by your mother's death.  You were high as a kite.

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

Still here

Yes, I am still around.  I just haven't felt like posting.  My old email provider just dumped us, and I have spent hours reloading my address book.  Fortunately even though they gave a warning, I get so many spam emails I ignored it, but I did make a hard copy of my address book.

When will I come back to posting.  I really don't know.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Life goes on

And with it will be a celebration this evening.  My oldest granddaughter, Katie, is turning 16 on Tuesday, but she is having a surprise party tonight.  I don't know if a "surprise" is going to happen.  It is really hard to keep that kind of a secret, but it might be.

She is playing in a water polo tournament today.  I understand third hand they handily won their first game 16-2 with Katie making at least 5 of those goals with the defense hanging all over her.  She will be leaving before the last game which is about 5 this evening.  Hope the rest of the team can hold up!

She has been told she is leaving early because a family friend is coming from Wisconsin for a dinner with her and the family to celebrate her birthday.  Fortunately, he is also coming for business that he could arrange to coincide with her birthday.  But instead of dinner - they will be coming to the party.  I hope it does surprise her.  But I am having trouble with this little thing that I kept while mom worked for almost two years, the light of my life really, is almost grown!
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Yesterday TJ's hunters were to go to pick up their blinds and feeders.  I just hope DH wasn't there.  I am not sure he plans to live there, so with any luck, all went smoothly for them.  I became Facebook friends with one of the guys.  They are such nice men.  When they began hunting there I thought they were just some typical DH friends.  Most of them are real asses.  It wasn't until I found out how much they helped TJ that my attitude changed.  They are grown men with great jobs - electricians.  They tried to help DH, but of course being such a turd, that wasn't going to happen.  Then to find how much they REALLY cared for TJ melted my heart.  I just wish we could offer them hunting on our  place, but our hunters have been with us over 20 years, and help us like those guys helped TJ.  Wouldn't trade them for the world.
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The youngest of the grandchildren had his fifth birthday on the 12th.  With all going on, I haven't even thought of a gift for him.  There is not a thing in this world he needs, and I don't know what he wants.  Last Sunday night I would have cheerfully given him a spanking for his actions while we were at the SSB, but that isn't being a nice Grandma! He was into everything, and when I told him not to do something, he just looked me in the eyes and went right on.  You just don't know how tempting it was.  Yes, I did believe in spanking my own - even if it weren't often.  That action of his would have granted him a good one.  When he broke the plate because he was acting like a fool didn't make me very happy either.  If truth be told, all three of them were rather terrible that night!  They were so terribly loud, even the dog was upset.  He refused to eat.  They never stopped until bed time.

So I am off for now with a silent prayer that things remain calm for a while.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Memorial Service

As we were getting to the church, a gold Toyota small pickup came flying through the intersection of our county road and the farm road.  I remarked that was DH.  Daughter said the same.

We got to the church, and his dad was on his cell.  He looked agitated.  And come to find out (later). he was - most definitely.

We had arrived 45 minutes before the service.  Some were up in the Fellowship Hall. It was COLD - 12 degrees when we woke up.  We all had enough coffee so we went into the church.  My SIL and BIL were there and we made small talk.  As time went on, friends and relatives began to filter in.  I was amazed that family that had made the 6 hour trip from Pearland.  But they did.  We talked to them quite a lot.

The service began.  DH was not there.  When it came time for remembrances from friends and family, DH's dad stood.  He said his son wasn't there because he had gone back to the ranch to get some scarves for the women in attendance.  Then he gave his talk which was really touching.  He said even though they divorced, they really had a good marriage, and they had been talking a lot over the last four months.  I am sure it was about all the legal trouble DH was in, but never the less - they were on good terms.

At the reception, DH did show with his blood red eyes and barely able to stand.  He stayed for a while - pretty much avoiding everyone.  Floozie was in the same condition.  After about 30 minutes they were gone again.

I talked to the dad.  He was actually good.  He is fed up with DH.  Someone asked what was going to happen to the property, and he said he honestly didn't know.  He would try to help DH as much as possible.

Frankly, I am still so down on that kid (of 25 - 26 next week) that I really would like to see him fall flat on his ass.  I am hoping I will soon be rid of this feeling.  I hope I can forgive him.  I just know it is going to take me a LONG time.

Friday, January 06, 2017

How are we?

I have been asked how we are at this point.  The realities have settled in.  The acceptance has begun.  I still think of TJ often.  I am remembering all the good things about her.  She was one of the kindest people I have ever known.  Even when she was in the depth of her last psychotic episode, she was still sweet and kind.  Her behaviors were obviously bizarre, but her gentleness was still there.

I think of her son.  That still is disturbing to me.  I haven't shared his actions with BIL, but I honestly believe he will show everyone his true colors soon.

G has been so strong - until he posted her passing on his FB page.  When he thought I wasn't aware, I saw he did finally break down.  At the beginning, he did say he would/could never forget finding her body.  Nor will I but obviously it was far more for him.

Her memorial service is Sunday.  We are back in Houston and will head out tomorrow morning.  Of course, the weather, as January weather is in Texas is horrid.  Many of you will think of is as babies, but we are not accustomed to highs in the 30's and low in the 20's. We will probably have ice on the roads, and my son and his family will probably still leave tonight.  That worries me.  I just read from a neighbor that it was 18 this morning and will not get above freezing today.  But he is a careful person.  He will be OK.

I am still worried about the service itself.  I hope Druggie's dad has been schooling him on the proper behavior of a child whose mother has passed.  I worry about him and the hunters meeting.  I just don't know what will happen, I just pray for peace.

We are awaiting the results of the autopsy.  Don't know what it will reveal.

thank you.  GK

Sunday, January 01, 2017

Sincere thank you to all

Yesterday, I was still reeling from the happenings of the last couple of days.  I had to divest myself of the thoughts and pain.  My post probably was hard to follow, and perhaps even not making any sense.  My pain is still with me.  It will be with me for a long time I am afraid.

To give a little background that might make those ramblings a little clearer I will give some history here.  My SIL is G's sister.  G is the oldest, his brother is a middle child, and the sister was the baby.  She was 65 when she passed.

It's time to give some information about her.  Her name was Tommie Jean, with TJ as her nickname.  She was, of course, the light of her parents' eyes.  That is both good and bad.  To be honest, being the only girl AND the baby - she was spoiled.

TJ, in her early years - like college years - had a drug problem.  Her parents found her once in her apartment pretty close to having overdosed on hydrocodone.  This was something that followed her for a number of years.  I believe she pretty much got away from the heavy drugs, but she still did marijuana.  In fact - the sheriff found her "stash" while investigating her death.  The marijuana wasn't in plain sight, but her pipes were.

If TJ wanted a new car - she got a new car.  Whatever she wanted, she got.  Of course, the brothers got an "equal" amount of cash out of the deal.  Parents tried to be fair.

TJ married when she was mid-twenties.  What a blow out her reception was!  No expense was spared.  But the marriage didn't last.  Her husband wanted children even though he knew she did not.  He found a child and arranged a private adoption.  This child is the one who was celebrating TJ's death and his inheritance of her property.  He will be referred to for now as DH.

DH has always had problems.  He is dyslexic, ADHD, and from what I just found out he also has anger issues - severe ones.  I don't believe his drug habits came from the parents, he was simply one of those kids who didn't fit in, so the most accepting group is the other kids who don't fit in either.  And those kids have problems.  He has been in trouble with the law numerous times.  It was just the group he ran with.

After the marriage dissolved, her mother was so worried she would never have a house of her own.  I still don't fully understand that dilemma, but that was the overriding thought when their will was drawn up, and the properties divided.  TJ was to get the land with the house that is part of the properties here around our SSB property.  She was also to get the house the parents were living in.  With her getting the house here, that put her right in the middle of all the land.  Brother got the "mountain" which is the property G wanted.  Brother wanted the house so badly.  We got the "new" addition to the property that had absolutely NO improvements.

When TJ lost her job as a Special Ed teacher because she forged a legal Special Ed document, she needed to have a place to live.  So she packed up everything and moved to the house up here.  From that time on - it has been a huge mess.  At one time she had the furniture that was there plus all the furniture from her apartment.  Things got worse from there.  Her mental illness overtook everything.  The last thing she needed was to live up here, miles from civilization, alone.  She spiraled down and down.

Last year she had a crisis.  She was sure that her house had been invaded by ticks that were brought in with firewood.  She said they were crawling on and under her skin.  She has a meltdown in a PCP's office, and in fact, the law was called.  Brother got her into a mental facility where she got intensive therapy.  It was going well until DH checked her out.  The road had been rocky since.  But DH still didn't come up to check on her.  He sent a friend who was just as bad as he is turning out.

We still don't know exactly when she died.  We found her on the 30th.  We know she went to Austin on the 25th, and we are pretty sure she went into Tiny Town (again - no real names) on the 27th.  There was a half of a gallon of milk in the backseat of her truck, and the sheriff did find a receipt from the grocery store dated the 27th.

Now to DH.  We have never been close to him.  Brother and other SIL had them living with them for a while, so they know them better.  DH's father got fed up with DH about 8 years ago and kicked him out of the house.  DH came out here to live with TJ.  It was a very rocky time.  He fount the underbelly of the small town and got into drugs and other bad things.  The sheriff knew him well.  He would roam around the countryside. A relative (and we are mostly all relatives) at the end of the road
found him peeking in the old house that had been her mother-in-law's.  She told him if she ever caught him on her property again, she would shoot him.

One day when we were here, DH and a "friend" just walked over to "say hello."  I do not believe nor will I ever believe that was their intention.  Recently he and his girlfriend of 5 or so years broke up.  Apparently, he had physically attacked her to the extent EMS was called.  She has a restraining order out against him.  Nice person (who is probably about 24 now).

Would I have ever believed this would be something that happened in my family?  Absolutely not.  We are what I thought to be a normal upper-middle class family.  We have strong religious backgrounds, and pretty much well educated.  This is something that I always presumed to be completely out of character.

TJ's problem was always mental illness.  Her mother, while never formally diagnosed nor treated was mentally ill, and grandmother was treated with Electro-shock therapy.  It is in the family.  But a kid going bad, and remaining bad is something else.  He cannot hold a job.  As the former girlfriend said, he has a violent temper, a total liar, and nothing is ever his fault.

So now he has suddenly a  net worth in excess of $500,000 or perhaps even more.  Just the land is worth about $400,000, and I believe she still had some of the money she inherited.  He doesn't know a thing about how to handle this.  We are thinking he will sell the property.  And from there  It will probably all go into drugs.  I told G that I fully expect that we, in our 70's, will outlive DH. Again, thank you for your comments. This is a rough time, and it isn't over. I was so surprised to hear from DH"s dad that there will be a memorial service - next Sunday. So now I had to get ready for that. Facing those people isn't going to be an easy task. But we will get through it.