Close companshionship

I have been wondering when the gloves would come out with the kids, and yesterday was the day! Monkey Boy was sure he could play the new Battleship game we so proudly bought at Target the other day. When we brought it home and set it up, is was not the old configuration of that game. It was one large plastic "box" that a cardboard sheet slipped into. There were blue and green sections on both sides, and there were little holes that stuck out (is there a real name for that - I wonder!). Anyway the little cells are identified with a number and the letter at the top of that column.

Now, I would love to have the old set up. I liked each person having his own little box where your ships were either on the top or the bottom, and the other person's on the other. The numbers were the same. Both people had a B-6 for example. Well, this new one was different, and Grandma,being the highly intelligent person she is (LOL) didn't need to read instructions. It's Battleship for Pete's sake! Lady Bug and I put that darn game away after about 20 minutes of absolute confusion. We really wanted the little travel set back!

We decided to attempt it once again yesterday. So we bravely put our ships out, being careful to stay in our blue. This time we were aware that my blue was her green, and vice versa. Then we began to call numbers. She was doing quite well - Grandma, well, not so well. We had called about 10 sets of numbers, and I had about 18 pegs in my green!

We persevered on, and she beat me quite handily. Then Monkey decided that he certainly was capable of playing. That lasted for about 3 minutes before the fur began to fly! He had no clue, which is no different from the travel set either, how to call the numbers. That didn't surprise me because I had the same problem the first day. I knew this was a bad situation, and I should stay at the table to help and guide him. I was doing that from the sofa, but there was still no understanding on his part.

They finally stopped playing and got the memory game out. Words were spoken over the set up, and then - it happened. LB said something, and MB hit out. Well, the war was on. I looked up to see them flying through the den, with LB is close pursuit. But then there are the other times.

In looking at this situation objectively, there is too much closeness. LB is told over and over not to mother the other two, but that is her nature. It has been a detriment to MB's development. He doesn't have the skills a 6 year old should have because he has been so mothered. I don't really know if he has an addictive personality, but it might be. He certainly wants to depend on her. When she is gone, he is lost. She completes his sentences - she does a lot with him. (She does a lot to him - heh).

They are good kids. The summers are hard for them. They need activities, and their parents have tried. They have been to every Bible school in the area for activities. Day care really isn't good. They would only be there in the summer, and those kids already have alliances. The Bible schools, and other church programs (like our church has a long term camp for kids whose parents work) have been really good for them. It is just now - these two weeks right before school. They need watching. Their dad is out of town, so I get to have this time with them.

It has been fun. I think today is about the last day at Camp Grandma! That is good and sad!

Peach be with you.

And so today ...

I will have the grandkids again. Yesterday was a pretty good day with them. We went to the less than a dollar store for supplies to do the science experiments. Then a went to another store to get a baby gate to replace the stroller that has been the barricade into the dining room - to keep Simone out. Boxers seem to think that dining room is the indoor potty if they can get away with it. Anyway, we went to eat, and that went great, then swimming and playing outside (in the 101 heat!). But it was good.

I am limping along with this computer. It barely works, and I have to use the 3.6 Mbsp air card. I'm not out there reading these days, so that's the reason for no comments, I'm just not out there reading. The desk top has picked up a program that is supposedly an antivirus, but it has taken over the computer. I think LB helped with that one, and with them here, I can't hold up in the study to fix it. I thought I had it taken off, but it reappeared again.

After the 19th, there will be a new, bright shiny laptop around here, and I can return to normal. I may (unknown to G) buy a less expensive one to use the most and a cheaper for my embroidery stuff!

Anyway, I am here, not necessarily in cyberspace, but I am still about. Just very, very quiet.

Peace be with you.

I'll be glad when people stop stomping on my life!

I know I have been a real grump about the computer issue(s). Something like this really can and does send me over the edge. I have ranted here for way too long!

But yesterday, it became something else! Our 42nd Anniversary was yesterday. G thought of something we both could use - one of those fancy-dancy Logitech TV remotes. We have three remotes flying around here, and when we need one of them, we ca find the other two - only. He even set the people (Geek Squad) to come out to install it. That carried their fee of an hour of their time.

I was delighted! I had two of the grandchildren here because SIL is on the road again, and all the vacation Bible schools are finished. Two weeks of day card is terribly expensive, and these two are really too old to fit in for just the two weeks. Lady Bug is easy to entertain. We share so many interests, but Monkey Boy is only six (the first problem), and has been treated like the Prince of the World for way too long. That is changing, but he still is hard to keep occupied - especially around here.

So for the rest of the story. The installer from Geek Squad was to be here between 12 and 4. Now that is a long time to start with. It is an eternity for a six year old! He really wanted to go out to swim. We couldn't leave the house.

About two, we heard the chirp of a car alarm. I went to the window to see that the truck from Geek Squad was here. I put Simone in the bedroom, rejoicing that I caught her BEFORE the door bell or knock.

We sat here waiting, and then we saw the Geek Squad van leaving. He left a note on the door that he was sorry he missed us. Missed us?? We were here - waiting with baited breath. Of course on the little door hanger, the "phone number" was listed as 800-GEEK SQUAD. I need new glasses so badly. It is difficult for me to see the little numbers on the phone. It took me about five tries to get the correct number. (An aside here - the first wrong had an answering machine. They apparently get the wrong number a lot, and they are a computer repair. Wish I knew what I had done wrong. The second wrong number was telling me that the number had been changed to something like 10- 10-342 -8000(not the correct numbers), but they had a new international number - gah!)

When I got through, they had to direct my call. Doing that they hung up. I was livid by that time. When I finally got trough to the Geek Squad installation, I was put on hold while they tried to reach the installer. The SOB didn't answer his phone - even when they again put me on hold while his manager tried to reach him to no avail.

So my new installation date is Saturday - between 12 and 4. Daughter said I should call back and tell them this is unacceptable. Did so. They agreed with me, but nothing is changed.

Do I like Geek Squad. Right now no. The service stinks. When the other guys came out to assemble the credenza and set up the home theater - they were great. They probably quit this Mickey Mouse operation because they were too good and responsible. What they have now are, in my opinion, is a bunch of slackards. I think this guy had a hot date. Our garage door was wide open (it is a yawning expanse of a double door garage), and he admitted it to the managers. So I guess he just wanted to quit at least an hour early.

Here is my scenario: he walked to the door (perhaps), and because I didn't throw it open after sitting there for hours waiting with baited breath, he walked back to the van. That was the tweet of the alarm. He was writing out the door tag. He tiptoed back to the door since we didn't throw the door open, and left the tag. If he had knocked or rang the bell, Simone would have gone bananas. Then it hurried back to get in the van. He was gone before we would throw the door open and get outside!

Will I use of recommend Geek Squad now. I don't think so. For us to waste 6-8 hours of our lives, terrible! This is a sad situation.

Surprise

I really didn't think that my post got on yesterday. It certainly was rough and not well written.

I am on the Dell desktop which is really wonky, but I think it will work well enough to get this written. I spent most of the day yesterday, yes you guessed correctly, working with the laptop. At the beginning I had very little hard disc space. After manually deleting as many files from the recovery (ha - what a misnomer) files that it is a little bigger, but ...

Some of the rest of the time was spent in here with the Dell trying to reload the router. There is nothing wrong with the router - I don't think. The problem is still with the lap top. I reloaded the wireless port in the lap top, and it did show the spots available. I entered the new key for my router, and the computer sat there trying to connect. Oh well, I think I have spent enough time with that thing.

This computer is slow as molasses, and gets caught in who knows what and will dump you, but it does work, sort of.

I hope G gets the gift card to Best Buy. That will be $200 toward a new lap top. That one is fried. I laugh when I think of the guy at the repair shop talking about how slow the processor in the lap top is. He would laugh hysterically at this one!

Funny how with each new computer you get you think it is just so fast - until you load it, and then get a new one.

I have rambled enough for one day. It is still all about the gripes with computers. I think this is the end of that subject. It is boring.

More cra%

Since I am on the slow as molasses air card, this will be a rather brief account of the last week. We were gone from Saturday to Tuesday. During that time the old Gateway was in the hospital. They added a new wrinkle to the whole experience - they wanted the power cord as well. I knew I couldn't get it to them until Wednesday because I convinced G to stop on the way out since the repair facility was on the way. I knew that they would be backed up, and wouldn't get to the computer until about Wednesday anyway.

We got home Tuesday evening, and there was a message that the computer was ready. I was so excited - until I got it home and opened it. It was only restored to the point where I had wiped out everything trying to get back to where I wanted it. So it had very, very few of my files on it.

I couldn't access my router either. That was just a non ending loop. I had to resort to the air card, and at first even that wasn't allowed by this computer. So I took it back yesterday - on the way to the clinic to have, yet another, procedure only this time to use a laser to kill the blasted nerve.

In the shop, it got onto their internet. Soooo, this means that in some weird cosmic conglomeration, the spirits that be made the router go haywire. That means I have to fight the ancient Dell desktop to get the router back!

So that means all of my bookmarks are gone. They are gone for good. Fortunately I copied a few, and I have another copy somewhere of ones that I still meet, but mostly old ones that I don't vidit anymore.

The back ups that are stored on the C drive have eaten my space. I get those error messages all the time. He told me what to do about it. But I asked him if this one was on its last legs, and he said that the processor was slow, etc, etc. It wasn't that he was trying to sell me a new one (yest he was), but this one was so obsolete that adding anything to it would be a waste.

So as long as I have the air card ripping along at its 3.6Mbps, I will be here. That is along with the error message that it could not contact blogger.com. Great. Retrying, retrying retrying ...

Peace

&&%^%^^

This is a short note to let you know I am not dead, for the most part the computer is dead.

And whre am I today?

Same place, doing about the same thing. I am reinstalling software.

As Jude pointed out, I didn't really do anything but form of restore. I have done this before - on the Dell desktop. On this laptop, it just works differently. When I tried to bring things back, it didn't work. At any rate, even if it had worked, the items in my bookmarks would b gone.

So, I have collected all the CD's that come with the programs. I had a real scare when I thought I had lost the CD for my air card! I have another year on that sucker's contract. It would be terrible to not be able to use it. I imagine that I could download the drivers from ATT, but then maybe not.

I discovered that I could download the drivers for the bigger printer. I have absolutely no idea where that CD went. When G brought home the huge laser printer (yuck - not even set up yet and weighs a ton), he said we could download the drivers. He was right!

In better news that made my day, the truck is ready. I really hope the estimate was low, but you know how that goes. It will probably be double because of hidden problems. For something that looked like there was no damage where the impact occurred ...

Well, since it takes a partial lifetime for these programs to load, I best get to it.

Peace be with you.

Where have I been?

It has not been pretty - not at all. I have spent the last three days cussing up a storm. You see, on Monday afternoon, I was trying to make a back-up CD of my hard work in organizing my embroidery designs. Some were purchased, most were free - and offered once. As I was trying to do that little thing, the computer locked in a non-ending loop.

I turned it off because it was getting late. I tried everything I knew to stop it, but to no avail, so I just pushed the button and held it until it stopped. Tuesday morning, I turned it on again. It was in the non- ending loop once again (still??) So, I somehow got into a screen that had the option of reformatting the hard drive and re-establish Windows. It said that there were two options. Option one got rid of everything on the hard drive. Option two would put them in something around B:\\

That sounded like the thing to do - my problems would be solved. The computer would be back, and I could find my information again. That was wonderful. So I did it. Then I started trying to find the way to undo it. I couldn't find that file where all my hard work, my personal and business websites that I had so judiciously bookmarked, the free designs that I had been so lax in backing up. They were gone. So were all the programs except for Windows.

I was sick. I began opening everything that could open. One thing that said something along the lines of backup was locked! I still opened, opened, opened. I finally found a file that had the data base and the big design file, but the program files were just bits and pieces.

I had the feeling that something was going to happen to this computer last week. I sat and wrote down my most important email addresses to the business and personal. That's one thing I don't like about Fiiefox. You cannot make a copy of your bookmarks. In explorer, there is a file. It is intact. But I have lost so much. I just don't know how I will recover some things.

Some were programs that were free. I don't remember where I got them. One I had to pay for, but it was internet download. I can't restore it. I have a lot of things to load back on from discs - if I can find the disc.

When your computer crashes, and you don't work from a desk, it is really a disaster. I will spend the day tomorrow loading things on the computer, and still hoping that I will be able to find some more of the lost. I can't even call the hogs to come!

Peace be with you.

RIP OFF!!!

Well it wasn't that much of a rip off, but it really was. At least we got a kiss before the _______ (you fill in the blank). There were refreshments, and a free design disc as well as a drawing for prized. As per my usual luck, I dropped my drawing ticket somewhere. I put it my pocket - along with my pen. I guess when I was trying to make my mind over a $700 design software purchase, that little ticket jumped out of my pocket. I wonder if someone picked it up - and won!

The things I went to was a presentation by a machine embroidery software person. I didn't have anything else to do, so I went. I was pretty sure I would learn something, and it got me out of the house. When you interact with a year old cat that thinks biting it the best thing in the world and an 8 year old boxer who sleeps in her crate all day except for breakfast and perhaps a potty break or do the occasional barking when someone rings the bell or knocks.

So I got there, and for a change the handicapped parking was closer than some of the regular parking. I knew I was in trouble. I went in and paid Cynthia my ten bucks. I asked if she hadn't gotten many to reschedule their session. She called me and asked if I would come 4 - 6 pm. Nope! She said a lot didn't change their session and some just showed up without registering.

So I began looking for a seat. We were in the regular showroom. Boy, if someone was coming to buy a machine, vacuum or other accessories, they were out of luck! It looked like all the seats were
taken, and then I spotted a few. I took one, and later found I was sitting close to another club member. She looked familiar ans said she hadn't been to club in a long time.

The lady from the software company (the sister of the owner) began showing items that had been embroidered. They were breath taking, but I noticed that most were quilts. I don't quilt, and I don't want to quilt. She did give me a good hint if I decided that I just must make a quilt.

Then we were going to do a "project." I wondered how 50+ people were going to get a machine to do this project. Then the way came out. We counted off in numbers from 1-6. Then we went to the machine area that matched "our number." I went to the $8000 commercial machine. Would I love to have that machine? Do bears ____ in the woods. I would LOVE that machine, but I would love to have a bathroom updated for that amount too!

Before the break, we were told about the "Diamond Club." For a mere $700/year we could have blah, blah, blah. I really considered it, all the time thinking of the 6000+ designs I have downloaded - free. I went to look at the $59 designs. I didn't find ANYTHING I liked. I had two that the shop had already discounted - that I have never used.

There was a $29 set that I really liked. There was another I kinda liked, but it was 3 for 2. Well ... I couldn't pass up a deal, right?? I had a really tough time finding three of those I just couldn't live without. I either previously bought the similar designs from another digitizer, or I had downloaded many that were also like the set - I just recently put those into sets.

Was my $10 original investment worth it. Yes. I got out and socialized with real, live people. I also learned that the club meeting I will miss is something I can do pretty well. I spent another $90. I bought two design sets (got the 3rd free, and I am not sure all of it will fit my hoops), some stabilizer that is supposed to be good for clothing, and spray adhesive. The one I had been using was $15 for a little, teeny can. This is the size of a regular spray can for $22. We'll see how it does.

Now I am going to try out the ONE design set that I really wanted, other than the one that won't come out until August. It is cute, cute, cute!!! This was time well spent.

Peace be with you>

Gone, but not forgotten

Over the last few months (I guess), I have noticed there is something new in my life. I'm not sure when it disappeared, but I certainly don't want it back!

I seem to have gotten over hot flashes. Those nasty big things that plague a woman who enters menopause and cause a disruption in her relationships by having to have the thermostat so low that everyone else wears parkas (and here in Texas, that's a hoot!) all year long. There are ice cycles hanging from the air conditioner vents. Husbands finally leave the bedroom because he simply can't get warm enough because she sleeps in the nude - not for any other reason except clothes are too hot.

Any kind of heat would add to the hot flash when it came, and I would be dying because I was so hot. So that means we kept the house rather cool - summer and winter. I looked forward to winter. I know, I know - we don't really have winter, but I looked forward to the cooler seasons. Add a little heat and I was miserable. So was everyone around me - they knew that they soon would be freezing.

I don't really know when they left. I think they were still around during the winter. I kept the thermostat pretty much around 74 and lower during the night. Spring came and I was comfortable. Summer is here, and some days we have had summer with its teeth bared. It had been really hot, but I haven't taken to having two fans on me while I fanned myself with a hand fan.

I have noticed that when it gets hot in the kitchen, I'm not overwhelmed. I would usually leave the kitchen as much as I could to cool off.

Getting in a hot car doesn't send me over the edge. Sometimes, it actually feels good. It made me feel that I couldn't breathe before.

Of course, there were times that I could just be sitting, expending little energy, not doing anything to get hot, and the little monster would hit me. They were really miserable, and I thought they would never quit - especially when I started taking Femara (the anti-breast cancer drug).

I had forgotten what it was like to be a normal human. I have had these hot flashes since the early 90's. I thought I would have them my entire life. Needless to say, I am elated.

Changing the subject for a moment. I now have used my new Medicare card. It is so strange to me to arrive in the doctor's office and not pay a fee. New experience. Not only am I saving $195 a month because the now secondary insurance cost has come down. My social security check may only be $167 a month, but that covers the cost of my Medicare.

Getting old has benefits that I didn't know were anticipate. I looked at the downside too much. There are bright points!

Peace be with you.

Extra benefits of knee replacements - maybe

Today is doctor visit day. It is so strange going to the doctor and not paying!! I guess that is one advantage of getting old.

I went to the cardio-doc. I was worrying about this visit because, even though I have kept it a secret from everyone else but the doc, I was bordering on diabetes. He gave me 6 more months, and then it was gong to be going to a specialist for diabetes.

I was worried about my weight, too. When I was weighed, I lost a whole two pounds, but he didn't say anything. Lets face it, that is far from being enough.

The real changes were in the blood work. My LDL, which was usually high, was normal. My triglyclerides were completely in the normal range! And the glucose - that glucose was very normal. Yes!!!

When I was in the hospital with this last knee replacement, I had the one day of pain. That night my blood pressure shot up as well as the glucose. They said pain will cause things like that. It is my theory that I had been in so much pain with my knees and back that the levels rose.

The best news is that those numbers, and my blood pressure has improved. Who knew this would be an ancillary benefit of better knees and less pain in my back. I am really thrilled today!

Peace be with you.

Whirlwind

Thats how my mind feels today. I am still battling this computer. I downloaded an embroidery software. Then I got a message to register within five days or the whole thing would basically self destruct. So being the little compliant person I am, I tried. Did. Not. Connect. With. Anything. I even tried to connect manually to no avail. Now I have to (try) to print it and fax it. More computer/fax machine-printer wars around here. Run for the hills. "Blue language" will be coming from this house.

In another facet of my weekend: Saturday, I decided that I would continue with most of the PT workouts plus add the bicycle that has been collecting dust and bits of clothing. I did all the warm up, found the bike under all the bits and pieces it held, and blew off the dust. I wiggled the plug and it came on. Yea! A novelty. I think I am going to have to get another bike because I cannot make it work most of the time. Wait, doesn't this sound like a familiar refrain around this house??? Anyway, it worked while I got 2/3 of the settings done, and then it died again. I wasn't going to let that stop me. Just the movement would be great, so I set off. I rode that sucker for 20 minutes until the saddle was hurting. So I stopped.

Sunday I was so sore I wanted to cry. The old nemesis sciatica fit me - hard. My body ached (literally) for a hot bath. There is no way I can get into the bath tub yet. DIIL was asking Wiggle Worm if he was ready for a bubble bath last night after dinner. I would have loved a bubble bath, but the water keeps overflowing the sides of the tub while I try to get it up to the shower chair level! Ba-dum!

And dinner ... What can I say except to say I was about to leave as soon as we got there. Daughter must have had PMS. Let's put it off to that, and not that she is turning into a royal b*tch.
We were going to celebrate Doodle Bug's birthday early. G and I got there a bit early - to get the best parking place. She was on a tear then.

Monkey Boy had his Star Wars legos out. They are easily taken apart. I advised him to take them to his room. He did before WW got there. When 18mo old Wiggle Worm and parents arrived - he came back down with those legos. I repeated what I had advised, and I got my head bitten off. Needless to say, I was subdues the remainder of the evening. The tension by all was felt strongly.

Doodle Bug opened her presents. I got her three Zhu Zhu pets. He mom got her some kind of baby doll with a thousand "doctor's" pieces, and she got a couple of other things. Wiggle Worm was interested in those toys. So there was war there.

Dinner was finally served and gulped down. A little conversation went on afterward until we finally sang "Happy Birthday," shoved a cupcake down our throats and left. Oh the tension. It was still there. I just am not sure about more Sunday dinners. They do it because of me I think. I may have to put an end to such fun!

So that was my whirlwind of a weekend. Oh - just in - the damages to the truck equal $1700. I didn't see any damage at first. The impact was on the left - the damage on the right.

Peace be with you.

Wait - it ain't fixed

I tried to post to another blog. I was on Firefox and it suddenly stopped working. I couldn't comment, I couldn't even go to any other web site. All I could do was go to my home page. Hmmm.

If you got two posts from me, I'm sorry. I went to the new Google Chrome, and I am not used to it. When I went to that Blogspot post, I was getting an error message that I couldn't really read so I tried again. It was then that the comment would be approved before it was posted. Stupid, stupid. At least that's how I am sure I looked.

So I have decided that I am tired of fighting Firefox, and Explorer seems to run really slow. But in the mean time, I am learning this new browser, and I am probably going to make mistakes - a lot of them. For this I truly apologize ahead of time to those of you who read and I occasionally make comments. I haven't had a stoke and lost my ability to function properly.

Peace be with you.

Stupid add ons

I finally discovered and corrected the problem I had with this computer. I would visit blogs, and when I wanted to post a comment, Java popped up. I had to check yes to have it allow me to comment, with one little exception. It wouldn't let me post. So for about two weeks, I have not been able to post - even to my own blog.

I had a little icon that kept popping up that said Java needed to be updated. I ignored it forever, and finally it wore me down. I installed the update. I really thought it would make videos and the like better.

Then I started having trouble. I couldn't post a comment on just one blog in particular. I thought the blogger might have done something that changed something. These last ten years have left me in the dust with computers. Then when my firewall showed that Java wanted access whenever I wanted to post a comment, especially on blogger, I finally figured out the problem.

So I began deleting the downloads of the upgrades. Each one took about 30-45 minutes. So I plugged away at those offending updates not knowing nor caring which one might have been the problem. I am sure that there will come a time when I wish I had that program. I certainly may have been way too hasty, but I can post comments now.

I don't know why some programs can cause such problems. I never knew this one in particular would not act properly on my computer, but then I am far from an IT person. I am also far from the information about dangerous or faulty upgrades. But I do know how to delete the program! (I am ignoring the fact that there are remnants of that program left on my computer - ignorance is bliss)

Peace be with you.

Convenient memory

I guess I was suppressing bad memories, but this is one I want to quickly share. So that explains this second quick post today.

As we were packing to leave on Friday, my son called. He chit-chatted for a bit, then he told me the real reason he called - he had an accident. He also rear-ended a vehicle. He began the news with "tell Dad I finished what he started." Several years ago, G had bumped a car in the same manner I did in the blue truck that was Son's and is his again. It pushed the grill guard in a little. Well, Son did a little more than G did.

The whole thing seemed unreal to me. I have the accident, the next day he has an accident. I was almost afraid to travel. I didn't know what would happen, but all was well. I didn't need to worry. Just a strange coincidence. Thankfully with both accidents, no one was hurt. That is the important thing.

Look out clutter!

For about ten years, clutter has been residing here, inviting friends in. It is sort of like a flop house for that mess. After all, who was around to check credentials on that s**t. The man of the house was rather oblivious, or at least that's the way it seems. He easily ignores the build up, and his hands are never fouled by touching it. The woman of the house was too busy at that time to check it. She was handling a 1 year old toddler and a 92 year old toddler who at least was in a care facility. The clutter seemed to be sneaky slipping in when no one was home.

After a bit, the 2 year old toddler went to day care, but the 93 year old was still around and had to be check on. There was a new shady character coming in, this time attacking the knees of the woman. it brought a friend - the sciatica that attacked the lower back and right leg. She soon had trouble walking and standing. The clutter - well it was reproducing at an alarming rate. Real, live people really weren't welcomed into the house with that nasty clutter.

The woman managed to keep things sanitary, but the clutter was there. Sometimes it was moved to the office. It couldn't be moved upstairs because the clutter left by the children when they returned to home was there. There wasn't much room, but some found it's way there anyway.

Then after all those years, the woman decided that she really didn't want to become wheel chair bound because she couldn't stand or walk long. She went to the magic doctor who went right after those non-working knees. He also referred her to another doctor who began working on the spine that had bone pushing on nerves and was narrowing the spine. He helped take the pain from the back and leg.

So now the woman is able to focus on her surroundings. She is sick of the clutter. She is getting organized, and has a plan for attacking that unwanted guest. Is she organized? Really? Yes. Look at the schedule. Look at her calendar. Even look at her penmanship. All that is different. It is very organized.

Clutter, haven't you noticed you've lost some friends all over the house. They are gone. They aren't coming back. As new clutter tries to come in and get settled in, it is escorted right out - either the trash or the recycling bin. It never has a chance to meet other clutter and form a family. You old guys over there in the corner, your time is limited. You are going to be history!

Peace be with you!

Finally home

Our trip to the SSB was really uneventful. I rode with daughter and the kids. The kids were really excellent. She owns the troop carrier now, and there is really more room in that big old F250. I realize it each time we pack up to go ourselves.

We were to meet SIL at the airport in Austin. His place was due to land about 1:30. I thought there would be some kind of foul up. G (which is the first letter of grouch!) was to meet him in our truck. I just knew something would go wrong. Having him come in from California in itself could cause all sorts of things, but it didn't.

We stopped at a Sonic just south of Austin on the way for lunch and to let the kids get out and move around. We stayed there just long enough. We headed on to meet just outside of Austin. The plane landed right on time, but there was a big storm that hit us while we were eating. That could have caused a delay, but it didn't!

So on Saturday, we loaded up to set up for Round Up. We got set up, and things were arranged well. About the only sales were the neck coolers. Had it not been them, it would have been a real bust. The purses that I ordered that I thought would sell, didn't. I have made the decision that next year, if we are there, it will be a spectators for the parade and the Donkey Race. I am not selling next year. Not worthwhile.

The rest of the weekend was peaceful. The kids were really good the entire time. Doodle Bug was a typical three year old, but not to the extreme.

We stayed an extra day so that we could have the HVAC checked. It was fine. No charge.

We got the repairman out for the dishwasher. He didn't want to make that trip since we are 37 miles from town on a rough dirt (rock) road. His basic fee was $100. I thought there would be a $2/mile charge, but I didn't see it.

G was going to just buy another one. I wasn't against it. I really thought we just had a lemon. When I bought it - LAST YEAR - I bought a medium one. So with all this trouble I really thought it was a lemon. I made G do it because there were veiled accusations that since SIL had to install it, that somehow broke the thing - I guess. I refused to do anything about getting a new one. I had the problem last year, and what we have was the best I could do.

Well, I'm off the subject again. The repairman showed up. He opened the control - like our hunter did last hunting season. I thought there was a loose wire in that for sure. When the repairman finished, he held up a yellow wire nut. That was the problem. It wasn't allowing a good connection in the wiring we had to Jake leg because we didn't know to keep the power cord since they don't come with them. Fair enough! That little thing cost $123. That would have been the fee for them to send out an installer last year, and it would have been days later.

So there you have it. I thumbnail sketch of our weekend. I began the week today using my Medicare card the first time - to have blood work done. By the way, I think there might of been about seven people ticked at me. Last night I went on line. The first appointment I could get was 9:10. That was great for me. I picked up my orders from the doctor's office, walked down the hall, registered at the lab, and barely had time to sit down before I was called - ahead of all those folks. Call for an appointment people!

Peace be with you.

What a day

It has been quite a day. I really don't want to relive it either.

Years ago, G was driving the blue truck we bought from Son, and gave back to Son. Confusing, but that's our family. We pass things like trucks and tables around - we are weird. Anyway, one evening G came home and told me he had a fender bender. Well it bent his grill guard, but the car wasn't as lucky. It was at a yield sign to merge into other traffic on the freeway feeder. He thought the car in from had gone on, but it hadn't. So blue truck meets rear of car. Not so good. But G was lucky the guy in the car didn't want to pursue anything. Probably he didn't have insurance nor a drivers license.

Today was sewing club. I weighed going or not. I missed last month when they made some real progress on the sewing machine cover project. I had not even been able to make the things at home that we were supposed to do. But I really want to finish that project because it is just so darn cute. So I went. I also took my "show and tell." We didn't get to do that part so I decided to leave at 12 instead of 12:30. I thought it would be nice to get home a little early.

The plot thickens here. I just read that Mercury is in retrograde. Perhaps that's the cause of this or I was just stupid. I got to the intersection where I needed to turn. There was a Tahoe in front of me. The light turned red, and there were three cars leaving the mall parking lot. They passed. Way back was another car. I thought I could go on. Nope. The Tahoe was still there. So I hit her rear.

There is bumper damage to the Tahoe and the back quarter panel was bent to that the tail light won't stay in. At today's prices, I'm sure that will run at least $2000.

We both have the same insurance. She was insistent that we call right then after the police left. Now that I think about it, she remarked that she was surprised I didn't get a ticket. I think the policeman knew that, yes I did hit her from the rear, but perhaps she could have gone on too. Anyway, she took her vehicle to the repair shop and got the rental car that was awaiting her. I was told that out insurance rate would probably rise. And this being the first and only accident I have ever had. Great.

As for my truck. All I can say is grill guards do their thing. It may have to be pulled out, but ... I think there still would have been damage to the other car, but not so much to mine. That makes me feel much better riding those dirt roads around the SSB. Should a deer decide to commit suicide, we will probably be drivable.

So - the despised accident causer will sign off for a while. Shawna, I have problems leaving you a message in particular, so if I don't you'll know why. We are off to the SSB until Tuesday. Don't know what kind of reception I'll get on the air card. Might let you know about Round Up if it works!

Peace be with you.

You're getting warmer

That was a true statement yesterday afternoon. I ran out to Hobby Lobby because they had scissors on sale (not good ones like I wanted) and I needed the spray temporary "glue" I needed. I was completely out and the stick glue wasn't working in the applications I needed it to work.

I had been upstairs and the unit was working just fine - teeth chattering fine. I reset the thermostat, and did a little work. After a while, I decided it was time to run to the store. In addition to the scissors, I wanted wrapping paper for Monkey Boy's birthday presents since his birthday was yesterday. Nothing like waiting until the last minute to wrap. I also wanted tissue paper because I got a wild, hair brained, messy idea for some hair thingies.

I thought nothing of the upstairs until Daughter and I went up to check things for Round Up this weekend. It was hot, hot, hot. The a/c wasn't running - again. In fact, from feeling the grill of the vent, I could swear the heater had been running again.

I came down to get the phone with their number still stored in the caller ID. She said she would send a technician right away. The remarkable thing is that she did. That's why I may pay more, but I get service from them! So all's cool here in the house.

Peace be with you.

Comedy of Errors

Things were jumpin' around the old homestead here today. Lots and lots of traffic - both in person and telephone.

On Sunday, I went upstairs to sew. As usual, I turned the thermostat on that air conditioner to a more comfortable setting. I was working along without really thinking for a while until it suddenly hit me - it was getting too cold. So I got up to go to the thermostat to turn it warmer. I returned to the machine and worked. I was getting really cold. I turned off the fan. I worked a while longer. Then I was really cold. I turned the thermostat even warmer. To make a long story shorter, it kept getting colder and colder. I finally turned the whole thing off.

We went to Son's house for dinner that night. They can have fireworks - we can't. I knew he changed his thermostat out in his house, so I thought I would save a few pennies. We had to go to Home Depot as it was, so I would pick up a thermostat.

He came over on Monday. As he was putting the thing in, he found the directions and the actual thermostat a little different. He thought he was putting it in correctly. When he turned the unit off, it was off, and so on. As I worked, I knew it wasn't cooling as it should. It was hot up there. But the compressor was running.

I turned the whole thing off, and came downstairs to fix dinner. That unit has a vent in the kitchen as well as upstairs. I was standing in front of it and felt . . . heat! The air coming out was hot. I turned and climbed the stairs again (sure am glad I have had PT!). The thermostat said the unit was off, but hot air was coming out of the vent, and the read out registered 104. Great! So I turned it back to cool.

It stayed that way all night, and I called our a/c people this morning. They sent a repairman out - right away. I wasn't expecting that. He went up and found that the a/c and heat were running together. Son thought there might be a problem with the heat, but certainly not that!

I asked the repairman if the original problem could have been the thermostat. He said it probably was. Well - I feel a little better. I would have had to call them anyway, so trying to save a bit wasn't really a bad idea. Just didn't work. By the time I had him do the other thing that needed to be done to that unit, the damage to my monies was a cool $350. Saving - not really, but it MIGHT have worked!

Peace be with you.

Ah, today's complaint

There are just so many topics to choose from today! Today, we are really getting the "dirty" side of Alex. He was a big little blow, covering most of the Gulf. There are some areas that have really gotten slammed with the rain. It is the usual story around here. We need the rain - desperately, but we get it
all at one time. Oh, well. I can see that the millions of dollars spend around here for flood control worked. Thank God!

I could go into the subject of complaining about my daughter, but that is beating a dead horse. It also is one that I cannot change. She is going to be a procrastinator, and I just have to live with that. Lesson 1 with her - don't depend on her to do something - if you are her mother.

So I guess I will come to the subject that I have tried to change, and it doesn't seem to work. That is the computer/browser. The browser I prefer to use is Firefox. It has worked seamlessly for me for years. But all the sudden it seems my computer and Firefox don't seem to like one another much. If there is another file open, Firefox just won't play. I can sit for hours, and it will not go fetch on the internet.

I have Explorer (like who doesn't?), and I will turn to it in desperation. All my bookmarks are in Firefox, and it won't share. The more I write, the more Firefox sounds like a petulant child! For some reason Explorer runs s l o w. But it will open if there are other files open on the desk top.

I thought when I put McAfee back on the computer, that would cure my ills. Surely didn't.

Another little snit time with the browser is when I try to comment on some posts. You would think I had asked this computer to put together a program for me to break into the Mint. It hangs up - really good, and I have to re-boot.

If you haven't heard from me, that is why.

The cure as I see it - take little Gertie here to the computer physicians. They will put her in the hospital for a few days (weeks) rest, until they can run the diagnostics to find that nasty virus or whatever. I really hate to do that, but I just don't see another way. Old clumsy, slow Dell, here I come - later.

Peace be with you.

A New Year

But it's same, same as far as the season - I'm talking hurricane season here. OMG, there is a storm in the Gulf. As hard as the forecasters tried, they just couldn't manage to convince Alex to come on up to the Texas coast.

I know the clowns here in the Houston area become rabid when there is a disturbance off the African coast. Dire predictions abound. It could become something. It could wreck disaster to us here. It will strengthen over the Atlantic, slip over Cuba and head lickety split into the Houston Ship Channel. Fill your tanks on your cars (the gasoline industry needs you), stock up on Vienna sausages and crackers, get gallons of water for each family member, and, by all means, buy that generator. I just get really tickled listening to them.

I thought this script was only here and along the Gulf Coast, but we were at the SSB this weekend. We get Austin as "local" stations on the satellite. Those weather people were reading the same script. They were trying to manipulate the forecast models. There is often one line that runs away from the other projected lines, and that was true with this one. There was a line that, give me a break, showed the storm going into New Orleans. The forecasters jumped all over that!

Now the serious part of this storm is the poor people who are suffering with the oil were getting higher surfs. That blasted oil was going over all the containment systems. It was terrible for them.

I kind of got the feeling that the weather people here in Texas were like the little sister who doesn't get to wear lipstick and date. There was a definite "look at our problems with the storm" feeling going on.

There were break in forecasts all day - like we were waiting for the storm to hit here, all day. I AM sensitive to those poor folks in Tampico who took the brunt of the storm. I know we have people who have kin there. I know these things, but the coverage was like we did get the storm - right up the ship channel. We got some rain. The gloom and doom news people were forecasting inches and inches.

Oh how I wish you could witness this comedy. And then the officials wonder why after years of not having a storm, people don't take it seriously. Folks are already a little on edge around here after Ike. They are preparing for the season which is a very good thing. I just wish the forecasters would forecast properly.

We seem to be living in a society where gloom and doom reign. Fear is the key emotion that is wanted. How nice it would be to put things into perspective. I really am not expecting the world to end next week.

Peace be with you.

I didn't run away, well yes I did

I did run away to the SSB. We hadn't been there since Mothers Day. Staying away is problematic in several ways. You never know what may have happened to the place, and we have been in civilization too long.

Before we left, G talked about how low our electric bill was for the month. That raised fears because we leave the air conditioning on when we are gone (well in the winter the heat is left on too). It gets so hot in the house if we don't the laminate wood floors want to get up are walk out. This isn't a good thing. In the winter, we are afraid the pipes may break.

To say it gets hot there is putting it mildly. I have a rain gauge/thermometer on the back deck. When we got there, about 3:30 Saturday afternoon, the temperature on that thermometer was 105. It is in the sun. Can't track rain if the collector is under something. The thermometer is in that whole set up.

The weekend was good. I really realized that my knees and back are better. I don't know why I realized it there more than here t home, but I did. I could get so much done, and after five years or so of slacking off, the house needed it.

When it is just the two of us, we load the dishwasher daily, but since it takes so long to wash them, we wait until the night before we leave. Don't turn up your nose - the dishes are rinsed, and it doesn't stink! I just hate to use a lot of water up there. We are on a well, and we have to hope that well doesn't run dry. Water is precious in Texas. I was going to say just West Texas, but really it should be considered precious all over the state. We tend to think that when we turn on that faucet, fresh, clean water will come out. It could disappear. Enough soap box.

The reason I mentioned the dishwasher is the thing was put in last year. After about seven loads - both those marathon ones from the two of us to everyday because there are 10+ people in the house. Anyway - when we had people, it quit. In the middle of a cycle, it began to empty and it quit. Dead. Nothing. No lights, nothing.

In that neck of the woods, it is difficult to get a repair person at all, and on the weekend. You have to be smoking crack to believe that. So we just looked at the high capacity, pretty push button dead, $500 dishwasher for months. Until hunting season.

We are so wise (had nothing to do with it) to lease hunting rights to an appliance repair man. Actually father in law did that years ago. Anyway, Andy was there, came over, took the door apart, and found nothing. Zip. Nada. He put it back together, and it ran - beautifully. We really have no idea what was wrong.

But I think I know. That door is not stiff. It flexes. When it flexes, connections loosen. And guess what. We have a big weekend (lots of people in the house) coming in two weeks. It quit again. It was the same thing exactly. But we are gone. We will be gone for 9 days. That 9th day is a Friday - afternoon. We can't get a repairman there (if I find one). So that means even if I get that wonderful person to travel 45 minutes from civilization to trek to us, it has to be on Monday after everyone is gone. Probably someone could come Saturday morning, but we will all be in Tiny Town for Round Up. We will be there early (to set up the craft booth) and leave late (after 3).

He doesn't come right out and say he blames me, but G does blame me for a lemon. I ordered it from a big box store. They delivered (which I thought was a good thing). They didn't install, but SIL said he could do it - and he could. Big box didn't tell me I needed to save the power cord from the old one. That was just the beginning of the problems, but Hunter Andy said there were no problems with the installation. From that beginning, G has blamed me. He thinks if we had someone "professionally" install, it would be working now. When it broke this time he said "that's why I don't like leaving the dishes for three days." Piffel!! HE"S the one that pushes saving water there.

So ends my wonderful weekend. We are grousing at one another. But we are able to stay an extra day on this next trip. Dishes will have to be washed by hand for the crowd, but on Monday, hopefully we can have the bi-annual service on the HVAC AND the dishwasher fixed.

So, there you have it. What I did on my little vacation this year.

Peace be with you.

Computer Wars

As I sit here in my fuzzy state because the physical therapist will be here about 9:30, and I have only had a single cup of coffee, I have to reflect on yesterday"s fiasco.

The lap top has been acting wonky, so I have been trying to salvage web sites, passwords, etc from it before it may expire completely. It was really acting up yesterday, so in my great wisdom, I thought it would be wise to run a scan to try to clean up the hard drive - anything to see if it helps.

My "subscription" to McAssee had lapsed. I wasn't too upset because I have what consider a great firewall, so I didn't re-subscribe. I thought I could use the old program to run a scan on the computer. Guess what? NO, Nope Nada. You haven't rented us again. You just think you own this program. You have only been renting it all these years. If you want to check your computer, pony up the money, sweetheart.

So I did. Then came the download. I didn't sign up for a life time of sitting at my computer, trying to get the program to download. But that's what I did. At first, I couldn't get the program onto my computer. The error message kept popping up that the download couldn't start.

I guess the trojans lurking in the far recesses of the hard drive threatened the little new program. It was too timid to even open. Finally about 5 yesterday, the program downloaded. This after about twenty restarts of the computer.

Last night I went to bed with the killer doing its thing on the computer. It had gotten to about half of the hard drive. Sometime in the middle of the night, the virus killer completed its task. I turned on the computer this morning, and there were the results. There were four items, including of all things a trojan from FIREFOX. Ye Gad, this is supposed to be the safe way to surf the internet. What would I have had if I had been using the terrible Microsoft Explorer. Mmmmmmm, yeah.

So that's what has been going on with this dear little lap top. She is no longer bright and shiny. She sports some information taped to her large keyboard. She has a few dings, I mean after a;ll, she has quite a few miles on her having traveled from here to the SSB and back. But I love her more than the first day. I have proven it by buying her a new lap top cooler. The other one proved to be no where near as sturdy as she.

What a way to waste a good summer afternoon, right? At least I got a lot more of my novel finished by reading while waiting!

Peace be with you.

Practice Driving

The beginning of the day was sleeping late, but that's not interesting!! We slept late because I had an ortho doc appointment. G was going into work later after my appointment.

Ortho guy usually runs on time, but not today. He was running over an hour late. When he came to our room, it was obvious why. His brain wasn't in the office today. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't have any other doctor cutting on me to do total joint replacements! He likes to talk to his patients. What I meant was that Valarie wasn't with him today. She is his right hand man. She takes care of all the little things like scheduling surgeries, keeping him moving, and so on.

Anyway, he asked me to raise my right knee. This was the latest one replaced. I wish you could have seen his face when I was able to raise it almost straight out! He was amazed. But then I have amazed two different physical therapists too. I seem to get over these well.

My big thing was driving. When???? He said that I could do practice driving. What!?! Am I 14 again? That made me think back to when I was doing practice driving. My dad would take me out in the old '53 Ford sedan. It was a stick shift, and the emergency brake was the old "umbrella" sort. For you youngsters, that is one that has a handle on it like an umbrella, and it was located on the right side of the dashboard.

He would take me out to what was at that time far northwest San Antonio. That is the area where the Hill Country began to send it's tendril of small hills into the city. Even small hills looked like the Matahorn to me when I had to stop at the stop sign at the top. I found that all my appendages didn't work together. I had an impossible time pushing on the gas a little while letting out that blasted clutch. So when the motor died (was massacred by me), I would have to pull out the emergency brake, restart the engine, and NOW push the brake in a little, give a little gas, and let the clutch out a little.

I think we spent hours there. The whole time I stayed in San Antonio, there were areas I would stay away from like the plague if I were in a standard shift car. So guess what my first car was - yep, it was a standard. Can you say stupid.

G told the doc he would let me practice drive on county roads this weekend. I know the doc's idea was the nice paved roads around this county - not the rough, unpaved roads around the SSB. But I am going to practice drive on the back roads to Target tomorrow!!

Busy, busy, busy

Saturday night started things off. It was SIL's surprise 40th birthday. I decided to make him an apron, so that took up all Saturday afternoon. My machine only embroideries at a rather slow speed.

I was dreading the party because his mother, father, sister and daughter were there. We are just not the same people and we have nothing but the three grandchildren in common. They have done some horrendous things, at least by my way of thinking. I told G I can forgive, but I cannot forget. Yes, I have turned the other cheek, but I keep a wary eye out for the good one. His mother will talk about everyone behind their back, but is just so sweet to their face.

Sunday, we had a rehash of Saturday but only our family. It was nice.

Monday, I had more injections in my back. This time I wanted to not get that horrible headache after treatment. So when I got home, as soon as I had eaten breakfast/lunch, I went to bed. I slept for at least three hours. I awoke to the cable being out. It makes me want to get rid of Comcast even more. I pretty much stayed in bed, but the headache came about 9. It kept me awake until midnight.

I was to go to clinic to get my drugs. That is a trip in itself. I know some of those folks are there just to get the drugs either for a high or to sell them. Most are there for real pain issues though. We waited and waited. My appointment was for 8:30. At 9:15, I was called back. They weren't going to see me. I was supposed to get my meds at the place I got the injections.

The place I get injections, after you once get into the system for the shots, is an assembly line. The anesthesiologist pretty much apologized for the uncomfortable table. He said it was for speed not comfort. Is that ever right. You get on the table, get moved around into the proper position. You get the nasal cannula for oxygen (I HATE that!!!). When you are in the right position the "master" enters, and the relaxation meds hit. Soon sleep happens.

After the "master" has completed his little injections in the spine, you suddenly are awake and asked to roll onto the next stretcher. You are whisked away to the "recovery room" where you are given a cold drink of your choice and a 6 pack package of either cheese or peanut butter crackers. Your vitals are taken a couple of times, and then it's into a wheel chair. You are whisked off to the PT area where you get the (heavenly) heat pack and electrical stimulation. Then whoever is going to pick you up is just outside the door, and you are gone.

There was no time for me to get my meds there. So I had to wait until the afternoon when the shipment from there came down. Wasted day. I had plenty of meds - due to forgetting to take the afternoon meds, and being in the hospital for 5 days.

So, how was your weekend?

Peace be with you.

Confessional

In my religion, we don't have to go to confession. When I was younger, it was part of the liturgy. We would publically confession that we have sinned "by thought word and deed. We have not love you with our whole hearts ..." and so on. This little venue seems to have become a confessional. Sorry, but here comes another confession.

I had hoped fervently that SIL's family would not be in town for this party. I am so bad. I really didn't mean real harm to her, but I was hoping her doctor would tell her she was retaining too much fluid to travel for three hours. Oh how I hoped. I should be so ashamed, and I guess, if truth be known, I am not.

These people are horrible, flat horrible. I am sure I have talked about why I dislike them so, but I have no idea where it might be. They are trying to hide it a bit, but they are for the blood. In other works, my daughter could just disappear, then it would be the true blood for their family - son and grandchildren.

They have behaved so abominably at things that we have hosted they should be embarrassed. But they are so _________, (I can't think of a word that describes them)

I am dreading the party tomorrow. I can't move as quickly as before. I think she will have enough sense to stay away, but with those matching scars on my knee, I'm afraid I am going to be in her sights to talk about illnesses. Oh no!

They are dirt poor They have cell phones with all kinds of texting, and all the other bells and whistles that I don't know about because I still have my little one that will text, but I had that blocked, BIG screens TV, a granddaughter who has clothes she hasn't even put on that lives with them with her mom, - in other words they spend on foolishness - not bills. Their previous solution to be behind on the rent was to move. They called my daughter pretentious because she came from a family who paid their bills, and yet had a few things too. So because she came from a family that paid their bills and managed to have a few things - she was pretentious. But they will happily move the residents from their beds to stay at their house.

I dislike them so. That is not being Christian. I just cannot stand them regardless of everything else. I would have never met people like them in my life - had their son not swept Daughter off her feet. He claims to be embarrassed by them and their actions. He claims to see that he is not treated as well as the others. But, he comes to the fact, as he really should loves them because they are his parents. Daughter just has given up, and she takes them in stride.

I sound like a very low life. I wish I could get over this. I try, and they pull some other stunt that hurts SIL. I have tried and tried. They had hurt and hurt him. I just keep praying for strength to do the right thing.

Peace be with you.

Humph!

OK. I waved the white flag. I gave up, and I needed help. Told Daughter I would appreciate her turning some of the neck coolers. She replied "do I have to pick them up today?" I said no. I didn't think I could possibly turn all 50+ of them alone. Well, I sat down after doing other things that needed to be completed, and I began turning. I did all but one last night, and that one I just did.

So today I will press them, find the opening, stitch the other end shut, pour in the hygroscopic stuff, and stitch out label on that opening. This will certainly take some time, but I will find a rhythm, and then it won't be so bad.

But when she discovers that I have finished, crocodile tears will be in order.

I really feel like the little, red hen. You remember that ol' gal. She did all the work, all the while asking for help. It was only when she completed the task (baking the bread) did she get offers of help - to eat that bread. Well, that's the way it is around here. I ask, hint, whatever for help. There are excuses, then all want to share in the finished product

I told Daughter that during the July 4th holiday I wanted to set up a dry run of our craft set up. We need to get things arranged in a cute way - one that is planned out, not thrown up. How did she sound? Well if you can get into negative inflections, that's where she was. I could hear the wheels turning to find a way to get out of it. She finally said she had a four day weekend then. Who wants to set up a table to guess when I will have help? Those of you who place your bets on never will probably be the big winner, but the pot will have to be split too many ways to make it worth your while.

Why don't I get G to help, you say? Even the sound of fireworks can't cover the emissions of curse words coming from his mouth. If he has to do something that isn't on his list of things to do, he becomes a three old with temper tantrums. That is why I don't ask him for help - ever, and when he wants suggestions on where to go, what to eat, and all the rest, I just say "I don't know." After 43 years I have learned that if it is something he didn't want, be it a place, food, or anything else, he will certainly let me know.

Why don't I ask Son? He's married with a child. Does that answer that question? It should.

So this explains why I do whatever needs to be done; it's just plain easier. I am paying for that. My joints are really showing the result of abuse and over work. They have just given out. It is why I don't ask - I just do.

I have made my life sound miserable. Well, sometimes it is, but then everyone hits a point like that. All in all, I have made this bed, and I will sleep in it. Right now, I can "look forward to" S's parents arriving. We are oil and water. They are, in my estimation, the scum of the earth. Fortunately, my house is a mile away from where they will be. A nice, good mile! I will try to raise my estimation of the in-laws. I shall be praying about my feelings for them. I will be praying for them to raise themselves too, but Ill bet they tell S they need gas money to get back home in San Antonio.

Peace be with you.

I finally did it. I absolutely have to have help turning those neck coolers. It takes me 20 minutes to turn one, and we have 54 of those little babes to turn. I asked Daughter this morning. Of course, she volunteered yesterday, but never came by to get any. I suggested that Lady Bug would be successful especially with her little fingers, and I would pay her 50 cents from each one sold. Well - as long as they get done.

I am concerned with the left knee (that's the old one). Something in there keeps rolling about. I don't think it should do that. So I am very cautious getting up. That seems to be when there is the most problem, and if I'm not careful from then on, it will snap, crackle, and pop with every movement. after July 10 (Round Up) we can do whatever. So I am keeping my mouth shot.


I have said I would start fixing dinner again. I did it Monday. I was exhausted and in pain Monday night. I don't know if it was one or all of the things I did Monday. I fixed dinner, I cleaned the kitchen, I had gone upstairs, and had PT. All I know is instead of a shower Monday night, I fell asleep in the bed at 9.

I fixed dinner and did part of the kitchen last night. It wasn't so bad. Today I have dinner planned. We'll see how I feel because I also have PT.

If only I had known what life was going to be like at 64. I could have done a lot to help my knees, and in fact I could have helped my entire body. I keep telling Daughter ...

Anyway - peace be with you

Just a bunch of stuff

Actually I wanted that title to be a little different, but I'll be nice.

I am really torn by this thing with daughter. It would be easier if she wouldn't make the statement that she would do something then not do it. I could be much happier, and could have been especially when I was stuck in the hospital, if she wouldn't say she would come by. Then she doesn't show. That really is a blow to me. Yesterday, she said she would be coming over after work to leave the d*&m invitation to this "surprise" party (if his family knows about it - SIL knows about it). it so happened G was outside. She was able to remain in the car with Lady Bug, and not come in. Let's see now. I believe the last time I saw her was the Thursday post surgery.

She said she would be helping me with getting the things ready for the "Round Up" craft show. It is the second weekend of July. I still have a lot of things to be done that they want to have. I am torn. I KNOW she has three kids, she works full time, she is working for this party (and the OCD doesn't help there), and then there's me. So I feel like warmed over dog doo to complain, although it is only here, about it all.

In brighter news, I suddenly realized that in December of this year, it has been five years. Five years is quite a landmark for cancer people. Survival rates are based on five years. Well, if nothing happens - I will join the ranks of a five year survivor. OK!

In my email today, there was a surprise. My email service will only let those through that are in my mailbox, but it will have a suspicious email section. Many emails are just trashed without me ever seeing them, but these are nicety put into a folder. I go through that folder. Today there was one with only a name. There was no subject, but I opened it anyway. The name was a good old German name. G and I are both German. I always thought it was more German than I because I suspected I wasn't . Well he is only 1/2 German, while I am about 3/4.

With trepidation, I opened that email. It was from a young woman who read my genealogy for one of G's family that I posted on line. She wanted to thank me for the work, and to give me more information about her family. A lot was left out, but people who don't do the work don't know what all we would like to have. But this was wonderful! I was so thankful for the information.

The progress with this knee is not what I hoped for. I think I pushed it too much, but seriously, I don't think the right knee would have lasted too much longer. I prepared dinner last night. By 9, I was in so much pain, and I was so tired, I just wanted to be in bed. So I was. I am going to prepare dinner again tonight. We'll see.

I am looking seriously for the higher road right now. I know there is one around. I just need to find it. Mean while I will be sewing step one of 5 in the neck coolers for Round Up.

Peace be with you.

been a while!

I'm still around, and getting better everyday. My knee is stronger with less pain. Its easier to get up from, well, only the bed. That isn't good. Every single stick of furniture in my den is just a scootch too low. But then this is something I hate to face, but it is getting more and more evident. I think I am having a problem with knee number 1. When I see the doctor in about two more weeks, I am going to tell him about it. Sometimes, it pops and sounds like something is loose in there. You can hear it, and I certainly feel it.

But on to different things. Daughter and I now have en elephant in the room. The elephant is last weekend when I didn't hear from her. I really think she thinks she is right, but in her heart knows she isn't. So we just go on and haven't mentioned it. I have asked her nothing about it when I know there is a lot to tell: step-daughter's high school graduation, her MIL in the hospital, the general drama that goes on in that house. Oh well.

I have found a way to shut up phone solicitors. When they are cheery and bright asking how I am, I just say not so good. They are at first confused because this isn't on their script. Then they stammer and apologize. Too funny.

I have an at home PT therapist. She is so bright and bubbly on the phone that I, at first, thought this would be a bad thing. She also has a very thick accent. With my brain on drugs, it doesn't translate well. So I had this preconceived idea before she came. I was expecting the worse. Actually the sessions have been good. She is very aware of my back problems, and works around that. So far, it is good. The bug in this is that she can come until I am able to drive, then it is over. That is both bad and good. She can be discontinued, and I can go back to the therapist at the pain office. Either way I win.

I just completed the cutting out of the neck coolers we are going to have for the July craft show. Next is the sewing and putting the water holding gel into them. Daughter has volunteered. We'll see. I have my small machine downstairs since all I have to do is straight seam sewing. I am itching to get upstairs though to work on the towels and other things.

Hope your weekend is great. I hope you either wear yourself having fun or get the rest and relaxation you need!

Peace be with you.

Strange, strange thoughts

As usual, I am writing like Monkey Boy speaks - stream of consciousness. So it will be a case of hanging on!

I never, never thought these words (actually thoughts for words) would come to my mind. I might like to move to the SSB. It is about 340 miles from here - that translates to 5 - 6 hours drive.

Why do I want to do that? Well, even if the closest neighbor is a mile away, those folks are closer than the ones here! I'm tired of being lonely.

Daugher used to be closer to me than she is now. I know her kidlets are getting older, but she doesn't do as much with them to account for the difference in our relationship. Her calls are fewer and fewer, unless SIL is gone. Then she is on the phone with me all the time.

They went to San Antonio this weekend. She had not called until almost family dinner time last night. I was asleep, and G didn't wake me. Go G!

I know I am emotional right now. I know I shouldn't be this way. I should be happy with the calls I get. Son has been stepping up his calls. That makes me happy.

I guess I am turning into one of those selfish old women.

Sorry I made you read this mess.

Peace be with you.

Goin' through a phase

Right now I am feeling sorry for myself. I think it comes from the fact that I have had my wings cut - for about three weeks.

I eagerly told the folks at the hospital that I certainly did have someone to help my when I got home. Just who in the hell did I think that was? G has been late everyday, and is considering "working late" next week which means 7pm rather than 5:30.

So, here I sit.

Sorry to be such a downer. Just a phase I guess.

Peace be with you.

Last days of the hospital

During the day on Saturday there were no surprises. I asked my nurse if she thought the doctor would release me on Monday. I knew he wouldn't go for anything before that. She came back, and said that he would release me on Monday afternoon. That's what I wanted. I knew she would have to put pressure on him because he wouldn't be in to see me until Tuesday when office hours were held and Valarie would be back. He is a brilliant surgeon, and has many interests (his bachelor was in biology - like mine), but his nurse keeps him on the straight and narrow with the daily menial things. So I knew I had to work through the nurse.

So it was set. When it was time that the night nurse came on, things were different. She came in and said she was going to take the IV out. That's good. But this one was not in a place that hurt, and even though it was old - it still worked. No she meant she was going to take out that one only to put in a new one.

I don't know why, but all the veins in my left arm decided to be non-cooperative. This particular nurse seems to have great problems finding a vein. So after the poked around my hand for a vein (trying twice with a stick), she attached a new IV. It was in a place that hurt.

Sunday was OK until about 10pm. I was settling down to go to sleep. I had the TV on still, and I was snuggled in the bed. All the sudden, there was a noise in the hall, and then my door was thrown open with great force. There appeared something. I couldn't tell if it were man or woman. It was shouting something that was not plain. In fact, this scene could have come from your basic horror movie where the monster appears.

I was scared to death. I laid there wondering what to do. I had the call button in hand. Do I call the nurses station or use the button to beat the thing. About that time, another nurse entered the room. She told me that the woman (at least now I knew) was looking for her mother's room, and she was quite retarded. She said "she wasn't all there." No kidding!

Monday came. Noon passed. No doctor. We waited until 5pm. G called the answering service to try to make contact with the doctor to determine if I were really coming home. He was informed the hospital nurse had to call. So she did. No response.

To cut to the chase, after a couple of calls, he was finally on his way. I really think he was hoping I would not push coming home. Well - he doesn't know me very well. When he came in, I saw a little superstition in him. He hasn't had a blood clot problem in a long time, and it was getting to about time for that to happen. He wanted me to stay so I would be there and be getting the anticoagulant injected in my abdomen twice a day. I think he would have wanted me to stay forever!

Anyway, I was released at 7. Hallelujah! So that brings me home, where I have used my machine that moves the joint the times I am supposed to. That is because with this knee I cannot sit in anything in the den, so I am in the bedroom with the machine. I also make sure I do the ankle pumps at least once an hour.

Peace be with you.

More surgery

OK - Thursday morning has dawned. Well not really. I had visitors it seemed every 30 minutes, but, your know, that's SOP for hospital stays post surgery.

When 7am finally rolled around, I called to place my breakfast order. Simple - scrambled eggs, sausage... "YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT". What?? I am still on the clear liquids diet. Oh come on folks. I have a digestive system that can take a regular diet now. I am not some little shrinking violet who would not be able to tolerate a real breakfast. So I had jello, cranberry juice, beef broth, and coffee. I was not a happy camper. Not. At. All.

I asked the nurse how I can get off this thing. I had to tolerate that, and then she could move me to a liquid diet for lunch. Oh happy day. So lunch looked a lot like breakfast, but I added cream of wheat. "You know you will have to wait an extra time for the cream of wheat." You mean to tell me I am the only patient in this huge hospital who is on this "diet," and wants cream of wheat instead of tomato soup? Ok. I'll wait.

PT came in to "evaluate me. I got the walker and walked to the end of the hall. She remarked about how well I did. Oh yes, I know the rules of this game. The second PT came later. It was my sweet Mike from the last time. Once again, off I went to the end of the hall.

Things went well for the remainder of the day. Nothing remarkable happened.

Come Friday morning. I was on a regular diet - finally. That was great. I still had the catheter and the epidural was out yesterday. No reason to get up for anything at that point. After a bit, here was Mike. I jumped out of bed, I was hurting so bad. I made myself walk to the door to the room and about three doors out in the hall. I went back. My thigh, of all things was killing me.

A while later, Mike came in and took the "automatic ice pack" off. He made up an old fashioned one.
He said it would mold better. Some time later, the doc and nurse came in to change the bandage. I told him it is a good thing this is #2 because if it had #1, there would be no second. They were at a loss.

During the night, I was in such pain that my blood pressure shot up. Something like 198/99. We got serious with pain meds. It was morphine and oxy. The bp came down, but every time I would be in pain, up it would go.

The cardio doc's PA said to schedule pain meds. Don't wait. Just take them. That's great, but the nurses get paid to remember when to administer drugs. They couldn't remember every 4 hours.

Pain and I continued to play hide and seek because - especially at night I wouldn't get my drugs. What else is there to do at night for the nurses?? The one I had Friday and Saturday night was absolutely useless. Totally.

This is long enough, and Saturday night is a real gem. It deserves its own post.

Peace be with you.

I am here - I think

It was absolutely touch and go, but I managed to get spung from the hospital. I really think Dr Bones would really have wanted me to stay through today. Five days is absolutely enough - especially with the one night nurse I had. I will let the story unfold. With all that has happened (one incident especially) are really worth relating, so this may take several installments. It is worth recording!

We arrived at the hospital at the assigned hour - 7am on Wednesday. We got to the assembly area, and there was nary a soul there. There was a sign, and on that sign there was a number to call. But this number was an in-house one. There was no house phone. I remembered there was a number to call on my paperwork from the pre-hospitalization work. I called it on my cell, and they would come out to get me. OK.

All went well until it was time for the IV. Now, only my left arm is to be used since the mastectomy on the right. We want to avoid lymphedema. The nurse looked at my lower arm and hand. She tried once on the underside. If you are in this situation, and they are poking around the underside of your wrist, hit them! That is the most painful place on the arm! Anyway, she didn't hit the vein, or if so, it fried immediately. So the little guy from anesthesia tried. I felt more assured, but guess what - he blew another two of three veins. I'm beginning to think that we won't have the surgery. The other doc from anesthesia came in. He began looking. He mentioned the words you really don't want to hear - using the neck. Fortunately, he got one in the upper hand, but used a smaller cannula for it not to blow the vein.

Then he did the epidural. He was so much better than the last one! This time there was very little pain. It was just a matter of minutes, and I was on my way to the surgery suite. I was transferred to the table, the real anesthesia was administered and I was gone.

There were a bunch of bone fragments to be removed, and the knee was 5 millimeters smaller than the rest on all the measurements. But it was in, and I went to recovery.

My time in recovery was some pain. It was strange, it was in the foot and ankle, but that wasn't to be the most unusual pain. That is to come.

I am exhausted now. I have already read a mountain of emails. Thanks to all you with your comments. They were wonderful. It is time for this body to become horizontal for a while now.

Peace be with you.