Tuesday, October 21, 2008


My mother in law may finally be coming to the realization that she shouldn't be living in the Alamo City. G's brother called last night with the news that she will be visiting the Capitol City at the end of the week with finding a facility there in mind.

Her first complaint is that no one comes to see her at her independent living place. Well, she is basically correct. I still could shake the liver out of her for putting a terrible guilt trip on my son about not coming to see her. He NEVER goes to the Alamo City! He often works overtime on weekends that he and his band don't have gigs. It would be the trip and a stay in a motel. All that adds up.

G and I don't go. For one thing when we go to the SSB, it is out of the way. Also she lives on the fourth floor. They don't allow dogs up there. Simone can't wait in the truck. When we DO come by, no one talks. There is nothing to say.

Another problem is that G still harbors great resentment about his mother. She made it clear, and still does, that he is not the chosen child. She has always preferred G's brother and family to G and us. She was abusive to G when he was a child. She would bend over backward for the brother's family. She even admitted it to my daughter in a weak moment. K is far more attentive to her than her cousin (who is three months older). At Christmas, it wasn't what my kids wanted - it was what the cousins wanted that was given.

It seems that Saturday night she was taken to the hospital. It was rather late when brother got the call. It was too late to get down there. I think she has realized that if she wants the comfort of someone around, she better move. Sister in law tried to tell her that at the reunion. SIL said HER mother was thinking of moving to be closer, but MIL laughed it off. She ignored the tone of SIL's voice when she remarked how much easier it would be to take care of her.

I guess it's sad. She has realized she is not the Queen Bee that she thought she was. No one is really going out of their way for her - with the exception of the chosen boy. I've been in that situation - more because I was the only child, but I surely don't want it again. I ended up moving them without their permission. I still feel some guilt about that, but there was no other way. You can't care for elderly parent(s) with them 100-200 miles away. It is just that simple.

So MIL has finally figured that out too.

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