Saturday, June 01, 2013


Today IS a better day.  It couldn't get a lot worse, but I am not going to temp fate and say it couldn't get worse.  Oh, yes it could!

Yesterday I was very low - depressed.  That really doesn't happen often, but it did yesterday.  I just couldn't  find my "happy spot."

I've heard it said that once you get the "C" diagnosis, you appreciate each and every day.  And I guess that is right for the most part, but yesterday (and Thursday too really) I was very weepy.  I realize I am still mourning Simone.  That will go on for a while.  To be honest, there are times I mourn my other Boxer, Taz.  He has been gone about 10 years.

Part of my mood may be attributed to the fact that I said I would play keyboard tomorrow for church.  I was allowed to pick hymns, but I was pressured into one that I knew I really wasn't good at.  I am still having a time with it.  I have been away from church playing for at least 11 years, and my vision and arthritis combined give me a hard time.  But I said I would do it, so I am.

We are also making diaper cakes tomorrow for the group that tries to give support to teens and other girls who are pregnant - and didn't really mean it.  This group supports them to get through high school and NOT get pregnant again. They are armed with the tools to just say no to these boys!

Anyway, our congregation has "workships."  In this one, we will roll the diapers they have contributed into little rolls that will be put into a two-layer "cake" which at our Women's meeting, we will "ice" with the decorations.

All these things coming together are just pressure, and I think I react by withdrawing.  That means that I am in this little dark place  - with my thoughts.  Not a good place then.

Hopefully, tomorrow afternoon, the skies will brighten (although our forecast is for rain!).  But I am looking forward to getting out of this cave back into the light!


Jeanette said...

I always tell myself "this too shall pass" whenever I get down about things. However, don't be too hard on yourself. It takes a long time to get over losing a beloved pet!

Judy said...

You are in a mourning process--just like you would be with any other loved one passing. Simone was your best buddy!!

JuJu said...

Here's hoping today will be a better day for you. Xxx