Tuesday, June 18, 2013

You won't believe this!

We were all set to be angry with Daughter and repay tit for tat.  We were going to "ignore" her - like not go over if invited and so on.  But when she called me right after noon, things changed in a hurry.

I answered the phone - which is another story as we are having phone problems.  She said she needed me to go to the house immediately because SIL's father died.

Now his mother has been in the hospital off and on for a year.  She is on dialysis, and a laundry list of illnesses, but other than being very obese (think 400+ pounds) and having some heart problems that were treated years ago with by-passes, he was rocking along - we thought.

His second son went in to wake him at 5 am so he could go to the hospital to have breakfast with SIL's mother.  When he wasn't there by 10, the daughter called.  Second son went in to the bedroom and found him dead.

That was the first of the unbelievables.

SIL called, and I cut him off saying I was on my way as soon as I put on clothes.  They are a mile away.  I was going to detract the kids from what was going on.  SIL was completely distraught.  That was the second unbelievable for me.  His dad was terrible.  But like an abused puppy SIL always crawled back after his dad hurt his feelings so badly.

I didn't know what the kids knew, so I announced when I got there - let's go get a drink.  It was then I remembered I had given my cash at church for supplies for the Gay Price parade that we are working with.  So I knew it had to be Sonic.  I could use "plastic" plus I could go to the covered order area while the kids decided what they wanted.  I ended up with an ice cream thingy with butterfinger in it.  NO WILL POWER!

Daughter got home, SIL left to go to San Antonio.  Second brother was still sitting in the house in San Antonio with the body.  The Medical Examiner released the body - over the phone  !   Never set foot in the house - or out of the ME's office.  The only official there was a patrolman.

So second son called a near by mortuary. But these people, and I have ranted about them many times, have no money.   They are on food stamps, disability, and on the county health stuff.  They have no money, and if they did they would spend it on crazy crap.   There is no money for a funeral.  This has been known for years, and Daughter and SIL have prepared for the fact.  And they are going the cremation route for his parents.  G and I are too, but our's is taken care of - totally.

Daughter called this mortuary to find out their cremation will cost in excess of $5000.  It finally came down that the mortuary gave them the Neptune Society ( our group!).  It will run $1700 approximately.  They will come to get the body.

As of last night, all was well.  Both brothers  appreciated SIL and Daughter getting this taken care of.  THEN - enter the bitch sister.  You know, the one who borrowed $1800 only to get angry when they asked for repayment?  She is having a real fit.

Their mom got out of the hospital today.  She wants to see the body.  It will cost $300 for 10 minutes because that's how long the body can be out of cold storage.  Now the whole family, who with the exception of SIL were there before the body was removed.  They saw the body.  Even my pushy step granddaughter who I thought didn't need to be exposed to that.  G said "well, she's 20 - she can take it."Now the sister wants a viewing.  Which means a casket, preparing the body, clothing for the body (the "body" didn't ever dress up so doesn't have the kind of clothes needed for this), having a place for the viewing.  And all this from someone who is $1800 in debt already to people who will pay for the poor man have at least some form of a nice ending.  There is some respect there rather than the way he would have to be handled since there is NO money from the other three siblings, the granddaughter who considers herself a sibling and is putting her nose in where it doesn't belong, and the wife.  NO MONEY.  AT ALL.  It takes money to die these days, and this family thinks they are going to live forever so there no money, no insurance, nada - except Daughter and SIL who are simply taking care of things and trying to do it in a respectful way.

You just can't understand some people.


JuJu said...

What a terrible situation all the way around.

Judy said...

They may not realize, if the man is 400#, they will need a king-sized casket, which will cost more. Or is it the mother who weighs 400#. I got confused. In Michigan, a cremation costs around $900. Me thinks someone is getting ripped off? Anyway, thanks for distracting the kids!!!

Judy said...

P.S.--they will be lucky, if they have the viewing AND the funeral AND the cremation--it they get away with under $7K.

Marti said...

What a mess. Do they expect your daughter & sil to fork over the extra money for this 10 minute viewing? Someone here recently had a family member cremated and I thought they said it was under $500. Sorry things are so tense with your family right now.