Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I really thought I was able to hide my bouts with depression, but that's not the case at all.
When I am depressed, the house is a total wreck (as opposed to being a partial wreck when I am not depressed). The dishes get done when they absolutely have to be done. Things aren't picked up when they should be. My posts are dark and brooding.
Then there are the other times when, while not being manic, I do have more energy and want to get more things done. I am not depressed right now. It may come back at any time, but it's not here right now.
And so I deal with this stuff. I should march myself right to a doctor for help, but I don't want chemical help. There are some of those that will interfere with the Femara. Plus, I am on enough drugs to supply a pharmacy as it is. My mother would say that I rattle when I walk I am taking so many pills!
So I am happy and a bit hyper. I am nowhere near being manic. I've seen people who become manic after depression. That is not me. So I am happy/sad rather than manic/depressed. I don't go deeply into either state.
I will try to keep myself in the happy state. I just have to identify those things that cause the sad times and keep them at bay.
Peace be with you.