Friday, March 06, 2015

Moan

I did not realize just how out of shape I had allowed myself to get.  Until this round of PT.

So how did this come about?  Well, first of all the knee replacements.  In a way, my dear ortho doc scared me about my knees.  I have mentioned that he said he would rather I not kneel because of the pressure on the knee caps.  I had a huge weight lifted from my shoulders when I was talking to Marnee (SIL) whose ortho assured her that it would take a lot more than kneeling to break the knee cap.  Of course then I fell at the SSB and kept slipping on the floor trying to get up because there is no strength in those knees - so I was trying to pull up on the bed - which kept moving away from me.  It was comical I guess when I think back on it.  But that caused my knees that had been protected for five years from any pressure to really be sore.

But enough of that.  I also have been babying my arthritis.  As I told the therapist, my mind tells me I need to move even though it hurts, I don't want to.  When there is the degeneration of the back, and sciatica pain that has been a constant companion for over 30 years only getting worse, it is hard to do things. My back would hurt so much that I would break out in a sweat.

So inactivity has lead me to be weak as a baby.  So when we began the shoulder exercises, they seemed so easy.  Well the next day my shoulders were so sore that it hurt to drive.  We did a few more rigorous back exercises yesterday, and my back, hips and legs are sore.  This is so ridiculous I cannot even call it sad.

My real goal is to be able to walk.  I have difficulty getting through the grocery store because of back pain.  I really would like to be walking around the neighborhood again.  There has been a fear that I would get "x" away from the house and the back will begin to hurt so badly that I cannot go on.  That's what happens.  But I have hope, and I am sure Clyde does. I know he would love to go on long walks with me!

Sorry for the pouring out of frustration like this, but it feels good to put it down on "paper."

The scheduling in becoming less crowded!  Yeah!  Of course, this next weekend will be busy.  Krissi, Katie and I will be flying to Riverside, California for the first round of competition in Junior Olympics with this select team.  This will determine if Katie is chosen for the national team.  I am not sure how many games are on the docket, but I would bet something like 6!

One funny thing about it is that Krissi won't have to rent a car when we get there.  Good in that we save that much money.  Funny because the reason is that the coach, who usually drives the team around in the 15 passenger van, isn't old enough to rent the van.  She isn't 25 yet!  So guess who will be driving the team.  From LAX to Riverside - all around Riverside - and back to LAX on Sunday.  Anyone have some tranquilizers for my daughter??  I guess it's a good thing we live basically in Houston so we are used to horrible traffic.

3 comments:

Sally said...

I agree; sometimes it helps to write down thoughts and feelings.

Wow - your trip is coming up fast! I sure hope all goes well!

Take care, and get some rest while you can. :)

xoxo

JACKIESUE said...

It's easy for people to say, it will hurt but you just need to keep doing it..yeah? well screw them..I kept doing it and I'm almost crippled every night with cramps so bad it feels like my muscles are tearing away from the bones..I'm a tough ole broad but this keeps me crying every night..I don't even talk about it any more..it's monotonous..

Judy said...

I'm glad you are at least moving and taking PT. I can't get my neighbor to even try it. She just sits in her chair and of course, the joints and arthritis get worse. I can barely walk 100 steps, but at least I keep doing 100 steps.