Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Just like a bad check

I guess I am being very hard hearted, but I know some people will never change - even if that person is 18 years old.

SIL's daughter who lied to get them to "save" her from going to California to the tune of $15,000 only to leave the next year when mom moved back to their town, is calling them every day again. She doesn't have any money. Mom won't (can't really) help her. They have been the proverbial grasshoppers from the old fairy tale the ant and the grasshopper. They were aware that college was looming. What did the daughter do, especially this summer, to get ready? Why she got nails (only to gnaw them off later - she is and always will be a nail biter), and hair extension with the money she made from the job she had. She didn't have it long. The boss had the audacity to tell her what to do! So she quit.

She has learned well from mother. Mother does the same thing, and when she went to court to get the child support raised to over $600/month, she blew that money too. Daughter didn't see a dime of it, and the college fund still remained at zero for them.

Birth mother decided Daughter should have the experience of a large away from home college. So they went to that college. Why anyone would want to go there is a puzzle because it is miles from civilization, but that's just me talking. The two of them even got this child a dorm room assignment.

SIL and my Daughter said they would pay tuition. BUT it was to be at a junior college in her city. Months went by without a single call from his daughter. Nothing. Finally when registration time came around, my daughter said if they didn't begin hearing from his daughter - all bets were off. No tuition.

So when she figured out this was a serious condition, she decided to be seemingly obedient. She called. Now that she moved out of her house (at my daughter's request, and I think it was wrong), she is calling everyday. She knows she has stepped into a pit of **it.

I just think this is a big mistake on my daughter's part. This girl said very nasty things about her when she left after the fight for her to be moved away from birth mom. She continued to be very rude to her for years.

I guess I am not very forgiving. I wouldn't take all these calls. I really think this girl is setting them up to get more money. She sees the bank there. My feeling is that she isn't the first person who has had to work AND go to school. If she has all these terrible living conditions both at birth mothers home and her dad's home, then she has to figure out how to live on her own. I just see her trying to get a really easy living with Dad and Step mom footing the bills after being treated like the lowest of low for 15 years.

I just don't see it. Tough love isn't so bad.


1 comment:

judemiller1 said...

It can be done. My daughter got no help from my ex for college and I could afford to give her very little. She got jobs and grants and scholarships and made it through 4 years of undergraduate and 3 years getting a law degree, so yes--if they want it bad enough, they will work for it.

This young lady you speak of is totally immature and a user.