Monday, February 22, 2010

CAUTION; FRAGILE, HANDLE WITH CARE

That pretty much sums up family relationships around this place. I have known that DIL is especially edgy, and I try to handle her with kid gloves as it is. Our previous history wasn't good. When she and Son were dating, she would break up and then they would go back. It was about to kill him. At this point I have to add that she was 18 at the time and he was 23. Still, it was killing him, thus it was killing me. I had finally had enough and advised him to just move on. They got back together, and DIL and I have gotten closer (I think).

SIL and DIL really do not like one another. SIL is loud, brusk, and brags too much about nothing. We all know this. It comes from his family. They never had anything. When he was in high school, they moved over 15 times. Usually the move involved leaving owing money. This all happened in a small town. He had a rough time. Anyway they mix like oil and water, but make an effort (I thought).

Saturday was Wiggle Worm's real party. It was held at the home of friends - not family. They are well off, and the party was outside. The weather wasn't really conducive for an outdoor party, but they have a pool house. I knew I wasn't going to be walking around, so I found a glider and sat. I talked with one of DIL's aunts and a couple of cousins until they moved on to something else.

When G's elderly aunts arrived, they sat near me until we really got cold, so I suggested we move into the pool house. One of the aunts had knee surgery about six months ago, and we sat together for a while comparing notes.

The party was to go from 2-5. At 4, the cake hadn't been cut nor presents opened. The adults were around the bar getting their antifreeze downed. Someone finally suggested we do the pinata for the kids and the cake thing. No move toward the presents. It was 5. G didn't feel well to begin with, so he was ready to go. Daughter and her brood were going, and the aunties were going - they had a 25 mile trip home, and don't drive at night.

The next day, Daughter called me to tell me that DIL's brother was "bad mouthing" us to the rest of the family. He was saying that we thought we were so much better than anyone else and on and on. It was like someone had punched me in the stomach. We have always been friendly with that family. G even was talking to him right after we got there. I could go on, but really am dumfounded.

Daughter posted on Facebook. DIL saw it, and she texted Daughter. Son called Daughter, and was told what happened. This was all before we had dinner here. I was really worried about dinner last night. I didn't know if there was resolution or not. Apparently there was. Things went smoothly. But it still bothers me.

I just don't know what we did to this young man. I haven't heard from Daughter yet today. I really don't know what is going on at this point. But as I said, family relationships are very, very fragile. I really thought we had a good relationship between these families. You just never know.

Peace

3 comments:

Susan Adcox said...

If everyone had dinner together and nobody got punched, it sounds like everything is good. Sometimes "resolution" consists of forgetting what happened and moving on!

judemiller1 said...

Why do these kinds of thing happen with this generation. We were brought up NOT to do that sort of thing--not to hurt others feelings. As I have often said, sometimes I wonder just what household my kids grew up in--they have absolutely no guilt--guess I should've laid guilt trips on them like my parents did me? You just have to try and stay neutral I guess.

Karen said...

I think there is resolution, but there is still that elephant standing in the corner. I know I won't be comfortable at gatherings of that family as I once was. Jude - the old guilt trips may be the answer. I swore I would NEVER use them. I still think my kids are pretty good, and most are, but there is always the few.