And once again

more gripes!

Well - a few anyway.  Like number one on my list, and it seems to get there often - computers!   My baby refurbed computer is basically dead.  I had been having trouble for some time, and Friday it shuddered into a coma.  This is my computer that is (supposed) to live upstairs in the craft room and be the caretaker of my embroidery design files.  Well - being a itty-bitty laptop, it will get thrown into the computer bag to travel to the SSB.  Who knows, I might actually work on getting all those files FILED!

So I finally was upstairs after almost a month to work on a shirt I did for the daughter of a friend.  I was learning a new technique.  I was trying to transfer six months of designs onto that computer, and I couldn't keep it from shutting itself down.  I know that is a characteristic of that little thing even in good health, but I was very frustrated with it.  So Saturday I got it "going" pretty much, and then suddenly it shut itself down again (as I was trying to load the designs from the thumb drive), and would just show me two of its little lights when I tried to boot it.

So it needs a computer doctor. 

I went to get the Dell.  It was supposedly repaired back in December.  I get an error message with these horrible words : cannot find hard drive."  What??  That's the most important thing on that computer.  But I didn't let that deter me.  I pushed on.

When I lost my pictures when the Dell was dropped in Alaska, I swore I would never let something like that happen again.  It happened because I was just too lax to stop and back up things.  So a couple of months ago, I subscribed to a Cloud service.  I went to the cloud to download those things that were on the baby to the Dell.  Kept getting the error message, but I persevered. 

It was taking eons, so I just left it to download.  When I returned, there was a black screen with some kind of message that I don't remember.  Basically, it was that there was no hard drive.  I just rebooted, and my welcome screen was back. 

My plans are to use the Dell as the computer there until I can take the baby to a new, "private" repair guy (whom I should have used when I had the Dell repaired from the jokers I did use).  Then I will, if I like him, take the Dell to be checked, and finally this new one that the joker did something to so that I get a kind of blue-screen of death.

******************************************************************************

The reason I had to let the baby sit so long with nothing going on was that our wonderful (not) Uverse was out - again.  This time when it went out, so did the phone and the computer since we have a bundle.

I really thought my craft room was going to be safe from the technician coming in, but no.   One of my Facebook groups is a machine embroidery one.  Ladies all over the world have been sharing their craft room pictures, and I know that mine is really not the worst.  In fact, I showed a lot of the worst ones to G so he would realize.  But no - the guy had to visit me three times.

When I turned on the set up there, it said I was off line for my DVRed programs.  That. Is. Not. Acceptable.  Fortunately he was just outside and could come in to fix it.  Then when (and this is choice irony) ATT called, our phones wouldn't ring because they didn't work.  With Uverse, you can have the caller ID on the screen.

So this time we had to call him.  He didn't hook up a line to the modem that controls everything.  SO disaster averted on that front.  I know it really goes against the tech if you call the company back.  My son works for the company.  The guy was really great though.  He replaced the remotes that Clyde chewed up, and the ones that I replaced with $9 universals I bought from Amazon!

So that was the end of my week and you are up to date.  I know you will all breathe more easily now.

Where has the time gone?

First- we are back from the SSB.  Didn't see any live snakes this time - only ones dead on the road.  Probably because of this crazy weather we are having.  As they said on the news weather yesterday, we haven't had a 90 degree day in six months.  We have had 90 degrees even on Christmas - probably those Christmas days when my aunt would give me a beautifyul velvet dress for Christmas, and I was hell bent on wearing that dress - forget the temperature.  And I suffered for being bull headed.


Now - for my question.  Today is G's birthday.  He is 70.  OMG - where did the time go?  I haven't been as taken by any other birthday as this one.  The clock is ticking.

It doesn't help that my friend's husband died two weeks (I think) ago - at 67.  It just hits me that I am not a kid any longer.  I should realize it - my body tells me at least daily if not hourly.  My brain keeps telling me that I am still a kid.  I don't know what age it thinks we are, but vertainly not 68.

I never expected to live this long in reality.  My mother died at 57.  Even though I had been really healthy until 60, I never thought I would live this long.  I don't know why.  When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I really thought that was it.  I would die in two years.  Here it's been 7.

So - we are rocking along.  In my mind I wonder how much longer will we be able to make that 6 hour trip to the SSB.  In fact - I can't help but wonder just how many more days we have left.

Happenings from the edge of civilization

All the big news from the SSB.  And that would just about cover it all.  The bluebonnets are out.  Not as pretty as years past since we haven't had much measurable rain this entire year.  But Easter Sunday is day after tomorrow, and we have had some bizarre weather on Easter Sunday before when we have been here.  With the crazy weather that has been going on, I won't bet on having good weather.

Several years ago, there was a really severe storm that moved through early on Easter Sunday.  Daughter, SIL and Lady Bug were here.   We were going over to have lunch with the "others" in the late afternoon.  We could see the storm brewing.  A cold, windy, wet day was on tap.  SIL had been out working on something,  and we took a break to play a board game before his showering and us getting dressed and ready to go.

The bottom dropped out.  It rained buckets upon buckets.  The lightning flashed, and the thunder was terrible.  And. The. Electricity. Went. Out.  Both houses up here (theirs and ours) are all electric.  SIL went to take his shower, and the rest of us, all being city folk, didn't think anything of it.  Our water is from a well.  We need an electric pump.  He had sufficient water for a shower, but after that - we had none.  And we were thinking of how stupid we were.

But lunch was still to be on.  My Sister-in-law planned a beautiful meal of roasted tenderloin, potatoes, salad and the like.  They have a gas grill, so still no problem.  But alas there was.  The winds were so strong they kept blowing out the flame.  So we had really rare meat, potatoes that were either charred or raw, and a good salad.

Her kids were leaving as we got there.  They took command of their road because things were mud pits and they didn't have four wheel drive.  We did - and almost got stuck.  As my son says - four wheel gets you stuck twice as far off the road.

So another Easter, we had an ice storm.  Out decks were covered in ice about a half inch thick.  All the prickly pear was coated in ice. 

I don't know what this Sunday will bring.  It is really cloudy today,

The excitement has been overwhelming.  Yesterday was Fredericksburg for groceries.  On the way home, we were reminded that the afternoons get warm enough for snakes since we ran over one on the road.  Great.  And Clyde hasn't been able to get is rattlesnake avoidance training yet.  We will just have to watch him closely.

Today was Mason to go to the Department of Agriculture.  We have applied for a grant to get rid of the brush on this place.  Won't know anything for sure until July or so.  But there was a little additional paper work. 

So we are back.  Me and my barely above dial up internet will be doing some genealogy here in a bit.  I can see the bird feeders, and put fresh food in the hummingbird feeder since he was almost banging on the back glass door this morning letting us know "we're back!!!  FEED US."

Sunday dinner

Guess who was the host!  Yep - me.  And we survived.

I don't know if it is just that I don't understand little boys or what, but I really do wonder about Son's eldest.  He just seems to have  streak in him.  I hesitate to say mean because I don't know it that is the truth!  He just gets this look, and then he does SOMETHING.

This really isn't a good example, but at the time it pissed me off.  Son and I were sitting at the table, and the boy came to get in Son's lap.  He pulled a small flashlight out of his belt loop and proceeded to shine in directly in my eyes.  A look of glee was on his face.

As I said - that might just be boy.  I don't know.  My experience with boys was raising my son and Daughter's son.  Both of those were/are surrounded more by women than other boys.  Son has two boys.

Oh well, Clyde was safe in his crate, and they didn't even give him notice, and nothing was broken otherwise destroyed.  Family Dinner is over for at least two weeks.

My "step-granddaughter" is proceeding with the circus she is calling her "big white wedding."  We were wondering if she was even going to send SIL and Daughter an invitation since she has refused to speak to them since about January.  She was demanding (yes - you read that correctly) money from them for this fiasco.  When Daughter pressed her for more information, she refused to return texts or calls.  So it was decided that there would be no money for this forthcoming.  They put the money into an account for the little girl's education.

No one in these parts think this marriage is going to last.  They have been "together a almost three years now (the baby is over two - so baby's age + gestation = time together), but Megan has threatened (packing her belongings) to leave several times.  A trip to the JP would make this mess just as legal - and a lot cheaper.

But the invitation came through.  SIL wants to ignore it.  I can't really blame him.  This girl has hurt him many times. He could have just taken the role as sperm donor, but over the years he has really tried with this little brat.  Daughter knows they have to go.  But she is worried about what will happen at the wedding.  If the groom's father is as much of a creep as they indicate - it won't be a happy family building/joining time.  As Daughter says - reminds her of her wedding where SIL's father faked a heart attack at the reception.  Karma gave him one 17 years later.

And tomorrow we are off (again) to the SSB.  I hate that.  We will miss all Holy Week here.  We (our church) being rather modern does some things in very different ways.  Last year we celebrated Maundy Thursday by doing a take off on the Last Supper.  We did "Beer and Hymns" at a local taverna that is family friendly.  Beer - remember we are Lutheran first, and mostly German next!  It was largely attended, and really a great thing.  Then Friday will be the traditional (at least more traditional) Tenebrae service.  Those are quite moving.

Since they will not be at the church on Thursday, the altar was stripped on Sunday.  That always sets the mood.  Sunday is was even more poignant in that the comparison between the festivity of Palm Sunday was ended with the austere stripping of the altar.  Really set the tone for Holy Week.

I will try to get back before next week, but I doubt that anything noteworthy will happen there!!

I am SO terrible!

First - the whole issue is really not my business.  In my mind, at least, I believe I think I am thinking of what would be best for them.  But, again, it is none of my real business.

Son called yesterday about several things.  Among them was the fact that on Sunday they had planned to announce the SIL was pregnant - again.  She miscarried.  It was a very short pregnancy.  This is about five she has had.  I think her body is trying to tell her something.

Secretly,  I have to admit I am glad.  That makes me feel so terrible.  It's not like they don't have children.  They do.  One 5, then close to 4, and 2 year olds.  In some ways, they are really good kids.  In other ways they are hellions.  When they are here or at Daughter's house - they are hellions.  They are in to everything.  They hit Clyde with hard toys.  They poke Daughter's dogs in the eyes if they are in the crates and can't get away.  My eldest says the girl (almost 4) is mean. 

Children are so expensive.  The only one working in their home is Son.  And he is working four jobs.  Thankfully they are not worked concurrently, but he works six days a week.  He has his telephone company job, he has his band that plays out every other Friday, he has joined another band that plays less often, but still it is a Friday or Saturday night.  These gigs aren't over until 2, then there is the packing up - especially with his band since he owns all the equipment.  Then the drive home.

On Sunday, he is the worship leader at a little non-denomination church far south of town.  He has to be there early because that is when the band practices.  So there goes half of the day on Sunday.

I feel terrible for my feelings.  She is going to go back to the fertility specialist - or at least his general practice since that doctor has retired.  Her ob/gyn told her that after her next cycle they would put her back on progesterone to help keep a pregnancy going.

One thing about this - this will be her last natural baby.  BUT she talks adoption.  There is only so much room in their four bedroom house, and there is only so much money.  Her dad things he is Daddy Warbucks, and he does have a lot of money.  I guess he will finance these kids - especially through high school and college. 

I am so torn about my feelings.  But only because I know I shouldn't have the feelings I have. 

Moved to action

My best friend's husband has been in and out of the hospital for almost a year.  It began sometime in late summer when he fell in the bathroom.  He broke his hip, ribs and hit his head.  He was alone that morning, and he was there until Dora came home that evening from work.  He was in terrible condition.

It was days before surgery to repair the hip was done.  He wasn't stable.  His kidneys were not functionong properly.  I really don't know it he had been having kidney problems prior to this or not.  Although I refer to her as my best friend, we don't communicate frequently.  She still works as I said.  She is also the one I have referred to before because I couldn't understand.  But the street of friendship goes two ways.  So enough here.

He finally, after being in ICU for a while, was released to a rehab hospital.  He was there for a while, and I don't know if he ever wehn homw.  In October, he went back to the hospital.  He was going to have cardiac by-pass surgery.  The kidneys flaired up again. 

He ultimately had the surgery.  He spent 45 days in ICU, and was unresponsive much of the time.  But he would rally.  He would give hope that he was going to overcome,

Then last Saturday, the doctors discovered he had become septic.  He wasn't expected to last the day, but he did.  He lasted through Sunday.  Unresponsive, but the family still had hope.  That was until Monday - the sepsis was caused by yeast.  It came from the cather he had almost continually.  But it could, as easily, been from the trach or feeding tube or almost anything. 

So they finally decided to stop all treatment with the exception of oxygen.  Their oldest son is a physician.  I know this was sheer hell for him, but in a different way from the rest of the family.  He didn't push Dora into removing support, and I know he wanted to.

Earl was removed at 2 pm.  He passed at 9 pm.  He is at peace.

So why am I moved to action?  With my six or seven recent surgeries, cancer and all - I could have been Earl.  Would I want to spend my last moments in ICU hooked up to who knows what, in and out of consciousness?  Being terribly sick and probably hurting.  NO. 

I keep saying I will execute a medical power of attorney and living will.  I haven't done this in seven years.  It will be cpmpleted this week.  I don't want to have this happen to me.

Irony is not my favorite

When I was teaching science, the first thing we did, the first week of school, was to teach safety.  Now there wasn't much we did in 6th and 7th grades that was unsafe.  Normally the strongest chemical we used was vinegar, and even when we did dissections, we used specimens that were no longer preserved in formaldehyde, and certainly we did not use scalpels.  They kiddos used scissors.  I would joke with my colleagues that I want to do dissections no bisections.  So those science classes were relatively safe.  Even when I taught high school biology - it was safe, although those days involved scalpels and formalin.

Friday was the laser surgery on my right eye to reduce the pressure by opening the drain.  That eye bothered me all weekend, and my left eye is about to pack up and leave home because it has been so mistreated.  This weekend was one where both eyes bothered me.

After church I was remarking to G that it is so ironic that I have diseases in my eyes that can/could lead to blindness.  When we did safety this was my spiel to my students about their safety goggles:
              

               If I tell you to wear your goggles, I mean to wear them.  On your face and eyes, not              around your foreheads or necks,  These are the only two eyeballs you will even have!


So here many (many, many) years later - what is going on?  I am on the verge of blindness.  Not. Funny.  I know it's not because of mechanical injury.  I can't kick myself in the butt because I was stupid.  But still ...

I had the injection today - that's part of what brought this topic on.  My left eye is so sensitive.  They tried to help out this morning by adding "an extra drop" of the numbing drop and letting me sit a little longer, but it is the speculum that prevents my eye closing.  My eyelid is tender. 

Do I wish I could quit - yes.  Would I? Not on your life.  I just thank God each day that I can have this procedure done!

What goes around ...

I really had mixed feelings last night.   It was "Family Dinner" night.  I have a real love/hate relationship with this night these days.  I was with all six grandchildren on Saturday - William (son's oldest) a pre-school program (at 9 on a Saturday morning!!!! Egad), and Karrington (daughter's youngest) an after dance clinic with the high school dance team.  I purposely didn't bring up Sunday dinner.  I was hoping DIL would step up.

Anyway, SIL and daughter did dinner.  Son waited until 5:30 to tell us they wouldn't be there.  We meet at 6.  Just a little late Son.  Very inconsiderate. 

So I got my feathers in a ruffle.  I am VERY aware that a son often will spend the time with the wife's family.  This is apparent - G, SIL, even my BIL.  They just do it.  I don't know if they were with her family yesterday, but I will bet they were. 

It often happens.  Her dad, Chris, is a demanding ^*(*&&(*, will do that.  For years after her parents' divorce, she wouldn't speak to him.  Even before the wedding, she wouldn't speak to him.  Her mom really pushed for her to make up.  I think she is sorry now.  Chris demands (very passively aggressively) they spend a lot of time with him.  He has quite a bit of money, and he uses it. 

I guess I really sound bitter.  Most of the time I just blow it off.  Last night really bothered me.  If they had cancelled early, that would have been fine.  We would have stayed home (and watched either Shameless or Game of Thrones), and so would have SIL and daughter.

Daughter said it rather succinctly.  "When Mom and Dad are in town, it's just a given ..."

While I am venting, here I go again.  The only person in our church I simply cannot stand - at all - did it again.  First, of all the seats in the church, she chooses the same row where we always sit.  God forgive me, but I find other places to "pass the peace."  At the beginning of service - I confess my feelings about her, and I try to be better,  To do that it's best to just stay away from her.  It's impossible.  During Learning Curve (Sunday School) she joins our group.  I know our group is usually comprised of the really fun people in church, but we don't need the wet blanket that she is.  She continually has a scowl on her face.  She is cold as ice to almost everyone.  Only sought out by the ones who got them to come to church in the first place and their family.

She really put the icing on the cake for me though.  We have a prayer table in the back.  It is open before, during, and after church to go back to light a candle and say a prayer.  I have been praying continually for my best friend whose husband had almost died several times while being in ICU for 45 days.

After communion, I was headed back to pray for Earl.  One of our college youths was already there.  The Ice Queen barged right up to the table, nearly pushing this girl out of the way.  RUDE!  RUDE!  OBNOXIOUS!  I felt like doing the same to her - especially when she stood and stood after lighting her candle.  But I held way back waiting.  Some people...

So thanks for  sticking with me if you are still here.  I seem to be a lot more bitchy these days.  I don't mean to be.  I just use this forum because if G hears me vent,he makes rude comments.  I don't think he realizes that sometimes you just have to express frustrations.

So where have I been?

Pretty much - no where.  I didn't go to my sewing club on Thursday.  The weather had been predicted to have severe storms, so I didn't want to be in that, and the project didn't hold any interest for me.  I didn't like the design they were using, I have better, and I have made many pillowcases.  So, there was no reason to go.  Plus - I didn't need anything from Costco.

Yesterday I had the pleasure (not) of going to the eye doctor for another laser treatment on the other eye.  I thought the left might have been bad because that eye gets poked once a month.  Was I ever wrong!  The right eye hurt just as much as the left.

She has four of us scheduled.  Her little waiting area holds four people.  Not husbands and wives.  A wife was back there with her husband.  At first I thought she was there for moral support.  That was before she tried to go in with him when he was called for the laser. 

She then went to one of the assistants.  I couldn't hear what she was saying, until the assistant asked her how long something had been going on.  Then when her husband was finished, she hit up the doctor.  She wanted a consultation right there, without an appointment, and probably for free!!

That bugs me on so many different levels, but mostly because we have to wait such a long time anyway.  A drop is put in the eye to constrict the pupil, and she waits an hour for that to take effect.  She said the longer the better.  Then there is the time for the procedure.  She schedules these appointements for 11.  That means we don't get out until about 1 or later. 

So enough of that rant.

Then I picked up the medication for my eye, and the second batch of the pictures that we managed to save from the Alaska trip.  I thought about half were lost when this computer crashed, but they were all there!  Other vacations and completely gone, and the Outer Banks is half around,

Anyway there was a special deal to have prints made, and I want to do a scrap book, so I printed (a total of 350) the pictures.  I couldn't decide what to cull even though for most folks the scenery really looks much the same.  Let's face it - glacers are glacers.  Denail was fog enshrouded the whole time.  Really there was fog most of the time we were there!!

Today I, once again, got up early for me especially on Saturday.  My number 2 grandson had a program.  I forgot his program at Christmas!!  I wasn't about to miss this one.  It took as long to get to the program as the program lasted.  Four year olds are so cute!

Such an exciting time.

Perils of retirement!

It has really happened.  I completely forgot this is Tuesday.  I really thought it was Monday.

Perhaps one reason is that I am NOT looking forward to Friday.  I. DO. NOT. WANT. THE. LASER. TREATMENT!  Oh course, I don't want to go blind either. 

Daughter when I spoke to her last is debating giving Lady Bug her Guardasil injection.  I think it is the last one, but there is "research" out that it has terrible side effects.  I don't know what to tell her except that I don't know who did the research.  Researchers can skew their results, so I don't know.

I am so sick of Uverse I could scream.  Unfortunately we have it for TV, computer AND phone.  Everyday, we lose our service for a period of time.  It is getting really old.  Calling them is a pain.  At least when we were still with Comcast, their service line was in the United States.

Clyde loves remotes, and he has chewed up three of them.  The first, I called ATT.  It was two weeks before we got a replacement.  With Comcast, all I would have had to do was go to the service center.  Not ATT.  The call went someplace out of the US, it took almost an act of Congress to get a new one, and then it was  not delivered for two weeks.

So when Clyde chewed the other two, I went to my old stand-by Amazon.  They were delivered within days.  They work just as well!

So while I have a signal, I better post this!