There are things we don’t want to admit about ourselves. I know there must be a million that I keep from myself. I never wanted to think I was a control freak, but when I stand back and look at myself, I guess I am!
I did control much of what my children did when they were growing up. I put that off to parenting. I guess some was, but then again I think some wasn’t.
Facing this chemo, I realize that I am a control freak. I want it to go the way I want it to go. I want the schedule to be what we have set. I have my appointments set through the end of the month, and I want them to follow that schedule. But, and thanks Leeann for you comment on the last post, I must realize that there will be changes. This is not my ball game. I don't make the rules.
One aspect of this whole chemo thing is that I have to depend on others to get me to my appointments. I don’t like that at all. I am so independent. When I want to go, I want to go. There is the glimmer of hope that I will be able to drive myself after this first one. The site is close by, so I just hope I will be able to take control of my life again.
How do you hand the reins over to someone else?
1 comment:
Try and contact your local Cancer Foundation and see if they have people who are able to give you rides to your appointments. Several of the people I met while waiting for my radiation treatments were volunteer drivers.
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