Friday, January 06, 2006

The dye is cast

I spoke with the assisted living facility administrator yesterday. Dad's condition precludes his returning there. So now the place for him to go is to a nursing home. I called the hospice social worker to get some ideas, then had his primary doctor call me. My next step is to talk to the social worker at the hospital to facilitate the transfer.

While all of this is extremely hard, I have such support from my family. Those close and those in the extended family comfort me and assure me that I have done the right things so far. The feeding tube situation was one that really was getting me down, but everyone I speak to about it assures me that it is the right decision. I suppose the primary doctor sounded like I should put it in because he is all about keeping Dad alive. The problem with that is we can't fix the real problem with Dad. He has dementia, and that can't be changed by a feeding tube.

So we continue on. I had my "talk" with him yesterday. There was only the two of us in the room. I assured him how much I love him, but if he wanted to go, he should. All these things that sound so easy when you are not in the moment are not in reality. They take their toll on me. I'm addressing the physical weariness, but the emotional part will be with me for a long time.

No comments: