Oh, I forgot

Some of you may remember me talking about SIL's daughter from another relationship.  She is now 19. She has moved out of her mom's house.

That was like moving from the frying pan into the fire because she has gotten herself in a real pickle.  The girl has problems.  My SIL is a psychologist.  Her assessment of the girl is that she is a sociopath.  Enough said about her mental status.

After leaving mom's house, she lived with her aunt for a while.  She never contributed anything to the household expenses, and that family lives from hand to mouth or less all the time.  She left aunt's house - and moved in with her "boyfriend.'

Boyfriend was engaged just prior to this girl (M) moving in with him.  So, I don't know just how stable this relationship could be from the get go.  I really think she is as much of a rebound for him as anything.  He is 25, and does have a good job.  Her first thing was to move to one of the Carolinas with him.  SIL talked to her about how stupid this probably was.

OK  - so now they are moving to California.  Just as stupid an idea for her as the other move.  (These are job moved by the way - for him) Now there is another factor here.  She is pregnant.  Her mother is livid.  She is seeing M reliving the mom's life.  She is 19, not married to the father, in fact the relationship is only a little better than mom's was at the time.  SIL is really sick about it.  He knows what kinds of hell this can be.  They are going to be tied together for 19 years now.  Daughter sort of laughs and says she will be a 38 year old grandmother.  The baby's youngest aunt will be 4.

I know this all happens all the time.  I have many friends who are great grandparents while I am still a grandmother with grand-babies still being born - the next one in January.  Probably you have been through this situation.  I know it is not unusual.  It will probably work out.  I just know the hell my daughter has gone through having a step-daughter - dealing with the mom who hated the dad (SIL) after she got pregnant.  He has absolutely no love for her either.  It can just be so bad.

Wish them luck - or what ever.  They are all going to need it.