Reflecting on the storms that buffered us yesterday, I was so happy that I was home. I hate to be away from home - specifically at work - during heavy storms. I enjoy listening to the rain run off the roof. I especially like to stay in bed when the storms are raging. That’s the best sleeping time for me. Unfortunately I had too many things to do that kept me up and running.
We were lucky that they finally dissipated after a while. We have a reverse 9-1-1 system here, and about 10:30 I got the call about flooding on some of our streets. There are areas here that become impassible when we get a moderate rain. We have a bayou about a half mile that has been known to come out of its banks. The last time, the houses on the street behind us had up to about three feet of water in them.
As much as I like the rain,. I do also worry. There has been a lot of work to help drainage. It had not been a problem until the last fifteen years. There has been so much development above us that there is no place for the water to go. Everything that was a watershed is now concrete. Holding ponds have been created, but I don’t know if they are doing any good.
I really needed to run several errands, the grocery store being chief among them, but I was afraid if I left the house I would not be able to get back home. It appeared we were going to be spared more rain, but I couldn’t be sure. Even though my street is normally passable, I am surrounded by streets that become impassible.
Other than the normal reasons for being able to get home, I can’t be gone for more than three hours because, alas, Simone has a urinary track infection. She let us know that Sunday. We would let her out to "do her business" before we left the house, and she would leave us a gift in the entry hall. She also left a spot of blood. So we went to the vet Monday. So she gets her pills three times a day with her liverwurst. She loves them.
Still even with the problems that the rain can bring, I really enjoyed being at home with the storms raging around me. Today I get to be out in the wonderful steam bath we call Houston after a big rain. The air drapes you like the proverbial wet blanket!
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Another one
Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me . . . . It’s funny, in the last few years I have had a definite change in the way I look at the mounting birthdays I have had. At one time, I was ashamed of how old I was getting, and I did everything I could, short of absolutely lying, to disguise how old I was.
Now that is diametrically opposed to the way I was as a child. I so longed to be "older." I could see nothing but good from being older. Then, suddenly, I was older. Oh my! In this culture I was older. That was absolutely horrible. This is a youth oriented society.
Another reason I tried to hide my age was that when I was working, I was working with 12-13 year olds. They think 30 is old! So my goal became to hide my advancing years as best I could. Fortunately, my skin is good. I don’t smoke, and I try to avoid the sun. I finally accepted that my German/Irish/English skin was never going to tan, I would only burn. Then my mother developed melanoma when I was 23. She died from that disease three years later, I was more dedicated than ever to stay out of the sun.
I began having my hair highlighted to cover the grey. I did this for so many years I had no clue what my real hair color was. I finally decided that was an expense I didn’t need. So I stopped doing that too. I should add that I was already retired when I did that, plus now I wear a wig because my hair never looked that good anyway.
Now I accept my age with what I hope is grace. Every day is a gift. It’s a gift I don’t deserve, but given never the less. I live each day and enjoy what it brings. This day brings me my 61st year of life, and it has been a full life. I have so many things for which to be grateful. I just hope there are many, many more birthdays.
Now that is diametrically opposed to the way I was as a child. I so longed to be "older." I could see nothing but good from being older. Then, suddenly, I was older. Oh my! In this culture I was older. That was absolutely horrible. This is a youth oriented society.
Another reason I tried to hide my age was that when I was working, I was working with 12-13 year olds. They think 30 is old! So my goal became to hide my advancing years as best I could. Fortunately, my skin is good. I don’t smoke, and I try to avoid the sun. I finally accepted that my German/Irish/English skin was never going to tan, I would only burn. Then my mother developed melanoma when I was 23. She died from that disease three years later, I was more dedicated than ever to stay out of the sun.
I began having my hair highlighted to cover the grey. I did this for so many years I had no clue what my real hair color was. I finally decided that was an expense I didn’t need. So I stopped doing that too. I should add that I was already retired when I did that, plus now I wear a wig because my hair never looked that good anyway.
Now I accept my age with what I hope is grace. Every day is a gift. It’s a gift I don’t deserve, but given never the less. I live each day and enjoy what it brings. This day brings me my 61st year of life, and it has been a full life. I have so many things for which to be grateful. I just hope there are many, many more birthdays.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Drama, drama, drama
It seems like things in my daughter’s in law camp are back where they started. For lack of a better name, I will refer to them as the McCoys. Now that her step daughter has returned to San Antonio, K is the evil, demonic step mother from hell. M has told then repeatedly that K is the reason she moved back. K is the reason she could never talk to her dad, and that he was always different around K. He was not as loving to M.
Papa McCoy blasted S again about M. When they were in San Antonio last weekend to help K’s grandparents settle into their new apartment, they did not call M. The family was all too happy to let M know about it. So I imagine that, although she really could care less, this has become a new drama situation for poor, neglected M. I’m sure she is playing it to the max.
This is the same child whom I met when she was three. She was a holy terror. I have never seen a child so spoiled. She would stay with MeeMaw and Peepaw. If she awoke at 2:00 A.M. and wanted a picnic, then by jove she got a picnic. It was all about M.
S and K were engaged at the time I first met M. We took her to a pizza place with a mouse character. She was completely out of control. S couldn’t get her dressed when we were trying to leave, then when we were there, she wanted to continue to play games when it was time to go. She threw the biggest temper tantrum I have ever seen.
When she called K and S two years ago and said she had to get out of her mother’s house because she was afraid of her new stepfather, they didn’t hesitate. They made plans to get her. K was pregnant with Monkey Boy at the time, and knew she would be off of work for an extended time. She saved the money she would need. She threw caution to the wind and plunked down a large retainer for the best attorney in the city.
It is easy for the McCoys to forget that K didn’t hesitate to bring M here. She was afraid for the child. M wrote an affidavit accusing the mother and step father of all sorts of things. It was very inflammatory. As the years progressed, it became apparent that there were many lies in that paper. Now she is taking the easy way out again. She is blaming the stepparent.
The McCoys have no use for anyone who is not "blood." They are all bad people, and they are bad parents. Of course, they have threatened to disown S on several occasions, so the "blood" is not all that thick to them.
K really thought they had come to accept her. At one time they told S they wished he had not married her. She thought that was over. She has come to the conclusion that they have never changed. They still wish S and K would divorce, and do blame K for any and all problems with M.
G’s brother and wife are both psychologists, she a PhD. She sees that M is a very disturbed girl who is a pathological liar. She sees that she needs professional help. Her chances of getting it now are completely gone. I don’t see a bright future ahead for this one. She will continue spinning her drama, and thus getting into hot water. I really believe that’s the reason she made her mind up about going back in just two days. She got into some kind of real trouble here, and her mom made just the right deal with her.
Now she is spinning the stories aimed at her step mother to them instead of spinning the stories about her mom and step dad to us. The difference being that they still believe all of her lies, whereas we were beginning to see through them.
Papa McCoy blasted S again about M. When they were in San Antonio last weekend to help K’s grandparents settle into their new apartment, they did not call M. The family was all too happy to let M know about it. So I imagine that, although she really could care less, this has become a new drama situation for poor, neglected M. I’m sure she is playing it to the max.
This is the same child whom I met when she was three. She was a holy terror. I have never seen a child so spoiled. She would stay with MeeMaw and Peepaw. If she awoke at 2:00 A.M. and wanted a picnic, then by jove she got a picnic. It was all about M.
S and K were engaged at the time I first met M. We took her to a pizza place with a mouse character. She was completely out of control. S couldn’t get her dressed when we were trying to leave, then when we were there, she wanted to continue to play games when it was time to go. She threw the biggest temper tantrum I have ever seen.
When she called K and S two years ago and said she had to get out of her mother’s house because she was afraid of her new stepfather, they didn’t hesitate. They made plans to get her. K was pregnant with Monkey Boy at the time, and knew she would be off of work for an extended time. She saved the money she would need. She threw caution to the wind and plunked down a large retainer for the best attorney in the city.
It is easy for the McCoys to forget that K didn’t hesitate to bring M here. She was afraid for the child. M wrote an affidavit accusing the mother and step father of all sorts of things. It was very inflammatory. As the years progressed, it became apparent that there were many lies in that paper. Now she is taking the easy way out again. She is blaming the stepparent.
The McCoys have no use for anyone who is not "blood." They are all bad people, and they are bad parents. Of course, they have threatened to disown S on several occasions, so the "blood" is not all that thick to them.
K really thought they had come to accept her. At one time they told S they wished he had not married her. She thought that was over. She has come to the conclusion that they have never changed. They still wish S and K would divorce, and do blame K for any and all problems with M.
G’s brother and wife are both psychologists, she a PhD. She sees that M is a very disturbed girl who is a pathological liar. She sees that she needs professional help. Her chances of getting it now are completely gone. I don’t see a bright future ahead for this one. She will continue spinning her drama, and thus getting into hot water. I really believe that’s the reason she made her mind up about going back in just two days. She got into some kind of real trouble here, and her mom made just the right deal with her.
Now she is spinning the stories aimed at her step mother to them instead of spinning the stories about her mom and step dad to us. The difference being that they still believe all of her lies, whereas we were beginning to see through them.
Friday, July 21, 2006
Busy time
Yesterday turned out to be a very busy one. The main reason was that I had an appointment with the retinal specialist who had done the laser surgery on my eye a couple of months ago.. At that time, there was no real idea that my vision would improve. The occluded capillary was pretty much obscuring the vision in that eye. The only promise I had was that the vision would not worsen.
Over the span of the months, I really thought my vision had increased. I was hopeful, but guarded about the situation. When I took the eye exam, it turned out I was right. My vision had improved three times what is was.
After waiting for my eyes to fully dilate, I was seen by the doctor. He was amazed with the improvement. He told me that improvement seldom happens. He also told me he really believes this is a good as it will get, but at least I have almost full vision - even if lines are sometimes squiggly.
He then did the retinal scan. To quote him "you’ve got lots and lots of nothing." Those were the greatest words I’ve heard in a long time. Perhaps my eyes will last as long as I do!
Over the span of the months, I really thought my vision had increased. I was hopeful, but guarded about the situation. When I took the eye exam, it turned out I was right. My vision had improved three times what is was.
After waiting for my eyes to fully dilate, I was seen by the doctor. He was amazed with the improvement. He told me that improvement seldom happens. He also told me he really believes this is a good as it will get, but at least I have almost full vision - even if lines are sometimes squiggly.
He then did the retinal scan. To quote him "you’ve got lots and lots of nothing." Those were the greatest words I’ve heard in a long time. Perhaps my eyes will last as long as I do!
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Difficulties
I guess I’m just rather naive about things in this world. When my uncle, who had no children of his own, passed away, my second cousin and I were executors of his estate. My second cousin and his wife are attorneys, and things went so smoothly when the estate was settled. So I never gave settling Dad’s estate a second thought. Was I ever wrong. This has been a horrible experience.
I am finally down to the last five or so things to do. One of them is right here in town, and I have a relationship with the banker. That should go fine. One other bank is in San Antonio. When I became guardian, they were fairly easy to work with, so I’m not expecting them to give me a hard time. Another bank is in Delaware. That may be ok too. I believe all the banks will fall in line in a similar manner.
It is the stocks and bonds that I am really worried about. When V died, I was going to put myself as joint owner with the hopes that when Dad eventually died, the hard work would be done. They sent me a huge packet of paper work. Even my attorney didn’t understand all of the paper work. It was so complicated. So I handled it the easy way - I did nothing. I’m a great procrastinator, but now it’s time to deal with the whole thing!
One of the insurance companies is being rather difficult. It seems I never send them enough paper work. They always find something else they need - even some things that they already have. V’s death certificate is one of the things they have, but say they want another.
An annuity I thought I would be the beneficiary for actually is an annuity for me. I have to die to get it. That’s not much good. They did call today and offered help is getting that one straightened out. I told her I wasn’t to that point yet.
So I have sent off for four more official death certificates for V. I sent the one insurance company a copy and a certified letter with the date of her death, etc. from the state. I know that won’t be enough. So I’ll be paying for more death certificates. I even had to go back to 1972 to get an official death certificate for my mother. She was still listed as beneficiary on a policy so I thought I had better send the death certificate.
I surely would like to be preemptive about my death. I would love to make sure my heirs don’t have to go through all this. It is really difficult. Perhaps I should just make sure we spend it all so that there is nothing for the heirs to inherit! Then there wouldn’t be a problem at all.
I am finally down to the last five or so things to do. One of them is right here in town, and I have a relationship with the banker. That should go fine. One other bank is in San Antonio. When I became guardian, they were fairly easy to work with, so I’m not expecting them to give me a hard time. Another bank is in Delaware. That may be ok too. I believe all the banks will fall in line in a similar manner.
It is the stocks and bonds that I am really worried about. When V died, I was going to put myself as joint owner with the hopes that when Dad eventually died, the hard work would be done. They sent me a huge packet of paper work. Even my attorney didn’t understand all of the paper work. It was so complicated. So I handled it the easy way - I did nothing. I’m a great procrastinator, but now it’s time to deal with the whole thing!
One of the insurance companies is being rather difficult. It seems I never send them enough paper work. They always find something else they need - even some things that they already have. V’s death certificate is one of the things they have, but say they want another.
An annuity I thought I would be the beneficiary for actually is an annuity for me. I have to die to get it. That’s not much good. They did call today and offered help is getting that one straightened out. I told her I wasn’t to that point yet.
So I have sent off for four more official death certificates for V. I sent the one insurance company a copy and a certified letter with the date of her death, etc. from the state. I know that won’t be enough. So I’ll be paying for more death certificates. I even had to go back to 1972 to get an official death certificate for my mother. She was still listed as beneficiary on a policy so I thought I had better send the death certificate.
I surely would like to be preemptive about my death. I would love to make sure my heirs don’t have to go through all this. It is really difficult. Perhaps I should just make sure we spend it all so that there is nothing for the heirs to inherit! Then there wouldn’t be a problem at all.
Difficulties
I guess I’m just rather naive about things in this world. When my uncle, who had no children of his own, passed away, my second cousin and I were executors of his estate. My second cousin and his wife are attorneys, and things went so smoothly when the estate was settled. So I never gave settling Dad’s estate a second thought. Was I ever wrong. This has been a horrible experience.
I am finally down to the last five or so things to do. One of them is right here in town, and I have a relationship with the banker. That should go fine. One other bank is in San Antonio. When I became guardian, they were fairly easy to work with, so I’m not expecting them to give me a hard time. Another bank is in Delaware. That may be ok too. I believe all the banks will fall in line in a similar manner.
It is the stocks and bonds that I am really worried about. When V died, I was going to put myself as joint owner with the hopes that when Dad eventually died, the hard work would be done. They sent me a huge packet of paper work. Even my attorney didn’t understand all of the paper work. It was so complicated. So I handled it the easy way - I did nothing. I’m a great procrastinator, but now it’s time to deal with the whole thing!
One of the insurance companies is being rather difficult. It seems I never send them enough paper work. They always find something else they need - even some things that they already have. V’s death certificate is one of the things they have, but say they want another.
An annuity I thought I would be the beneficiary for actually is an annuity for me. I have to die to get it. That’s not much good. They did call today and offered help is getting that one straightened out. I told her I wasn’t to that point yet.
So I have sent off for four more official death certificates for V. I sent the one insurance company a copy and a certified letter with the date of her death, etc. from the state. I know that won’t be enough. So I’ll be paying for more death certificates. I even had to go back to 1972 to get an official death certificate for my mother. She was still listed as beneficiary on a policy so I thought I had better send the death certificate.
I surely would like to be preemptive about my death. I would love to make sure my heirs don’t have to go through all this. It is really difficult. Perhaps I should just make sure we spend it all so that there is nothing for the heirs to inherit! Then there wouldn’t be a problem at all.
I am finally down to the last five or so things to do. One of them is right here in town, and I have a relationship with the banker. That should go fine. One other bank is in San Antonio. When I became guardian, they were fairly easy to work with, so I’m not expecting them to give me a hard time. Another bank is in Delaware. That may be ok too. I believe all the banks will fall in line in a similar manner.
It is the stocks and bonds that I am really worried about. When V died, I was going to put myself as joint owner with the hopes that when Dad eventually died, the hard work would be done. They sent me a huge packet of paper work. Even my attorney didn’t understand all of the paper work. It was so complicated. So I handled it the easy way - I did nothing. I’m a great procrastinator, but now it’s time to deal with the whole thing!
One of the insurance companies is being rather difficult. It seems I never send them enough paper work. They always find something else they need - even some things that they already have. V’s death certificate is one of the things they have, but say they want another.
An annuity I thought I would be the beneficiary for actually is an annuity for me. I have to die to get it. That’s not much good. They did call today and offered help is getting that one straightened out. I told her I wasn’t to that point yet.
So I have sent off for four more official death certificates for V. I sent the one insurance company a copy and a certified letter with the date of her death, etc. from the state. I know that won’t be enough. So I’ll be paying for more death certificates. I even had to go back to 1972 to get an official death certificate for my mother. She was still listed as beneficiary on a policy so I thought I had better send the death certificate.
I surely would like to be preemptive about my death. I would love to make sure my heirs don’t have to go through all this. It is really difficult. Perhaps I should just make sure we spend it all so that there is nothing for the heirs to inherit! Then there wouldn’t be a problem at all.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Physician, heal yourself
Warning!! This contains a graphic account of the "Houston Crud"!
After days and days of misery, I have finally found the correct treatment for this crud I have been suffering for a couple of weeks. In addition to doing it myself, I saved my $25 co-pay. Had I gone to seen Dr. Snake Oil, he would have diagnosed me as having the "Houston Crud." I love his finite diagnosis. For those of you without such an advanced physician, the symptoms include sneezing, runny nose, hacking cough. In other words allergy symptom that seem to be worse here.
Part of my misery was my own fault. You would think that I would remember to get the pharmacist away from other duties so that they can give me the drug that was once available over the counter but is not now because the drug makers were using it and now the drug makers have no doubt found a new source so we proper users are still made to suffer. (Got that didn’t ya?) Each time I went out, I had the stop on my list, but I would always either forget, or the weather looked too threatening. This specific OTC is not being ordered much, and I have to go to one of two specific stores to get it.
I began taking it on Saturday, but the cough was still taking its toll especially when I got out of bed in the morning. The tickle in the back of my throat was annoying as well. Night before last it woke me several times during the night. I had meant to get cough syrup when I went to the store on Saturday, but, alas, it was not on my list. So I began foraging in my medicine cabinet. Viola - there was a bottle. So today I feel pretty normal. The drainage is minimal, and the coughing is greatly reduced.
The best of all this is that I am $25 ahead!
After days and days of misery, I have finally found the correct treatment for this crud I have been suffering for a couple of weeks. In addition to doing it myself, I saved my $25 co-pay. Had I gone to seen Dr. Snake Oil, he would have diagnosed me as having the "Houston Crud." I love his finite diagnosis. For those of you without such an advanced physician, the symptoms include sneezing, runny nose, hacking cough. In other words allergy symptom that seem to be worse here.
Part of my misery was my own fault. You would think that I would remember to get the pharmacist away from other duties so that they can give me the drug that was once available over the counter but is not now because the drug makers were using it and now the drug makers have no doubt found a new source so we proper users are still made to suffer. (Got that didn’t ya?) Each time I went out, I had the stop on my list, but I would always either forget, or the weather looked too threatening. This specific OTC is not being ordered much, and I have to go to one of two specific stores to get it.
I began taking it on Saturday, but the cough was still taking its toll especially when I got out of bed in the morning. The tickle in the back of my throat was annoying as well. Night before last it woke me several times during the night. I had meant to get cough syrup when I went to the store on Saturday, but, alas, it was not on my list. So I began foraging in my medicine cabinet. Viola - there was a bottle. So today I feel pretty normal. The drainage is minimal, and the coughing is greatly reduced.
The best of all this is that I am $25 ahead!
Monday, July 17, 2006
Gotta be strong
Growing old is not for the weak! There are new developments everyday! I am dealing with the arthritis fairly well. I just get up more slowly that before, and standing for any length of time is completely out of the question. The two things that are bothering me the most are the loss of vision in my left eye and the carpal tunnel syndrome in my left hand. These things wouldn’t be as much of a worry if I had not said I would be pianist at the wedding of close friends of B and C.
The eye is better - although it will never be normal again. I had an occluded capillary that resulted in damage to the retina. The vision is still somewhat blurry, but at least there is an image. It just makes knowing where my hand is on the keyboard much more difficult, and it makes reading the music much harder.
The carpal tunnel flares up when it feels like it, and boy has it felt like it the last couple of weeks. The fingers become so numb. They feel like they are each six inches in diameter and get stuck in the keys. When I was an organist, it wasn’t so bad because I could use the pedal to help embellish the music. The left hand could be lazy and hit a note or two now and again. With no pedal, it has to pick up some of the duties!
I am in an absolute state of panic! The wedding is in two weeks. My practice sessions end with a very numb hand and a very discouraged person. I guess I will just have to keep working on the music. I wish my son wasn’t the musician he is! I don’t think I can keep the reputation going. It seems I lose ability everyday. I was once quite accomplished. I have played for churches off and on for forty four years. I began piano fifty four years ago. The old saying of "use it or lose it" is so true.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!
The eye is better - although it will never be normal again. I had an occluded capillary that resulted in damage to the retina. The vision is still somewhat blurry, but at least there is an image. It just makes knowing where my hand is on the keyboard much more difficult, and it makes reading the music much harder.
The carpal tunnel flares up when it feels like it, and boy has it felt like it the last couple of weeks. The fingers become so numb. They feel like they are each six inches in diameter and get stuck in the keys. When I was an organist, it wasn’t so bad because I could use the pedal to help embellish the music. The left hand could be lazy and hit a note or two now and again. With no pedal, it has to pick up some of the duties!
I am in an absolute state of panic! The wedding is in two weeks. My practice sessions end with a very numb hand and a very discouraged person. I guess I will just have to keep working on the music. I wish my son wasn’t the musician he is! I don’t think I can keep the reputation going. It seems I lose ability everyday. I was once quite accomplished. I have played for churches off and on for forty four years. I began piano fifty four years ago. The old saying of "use it or lose it" is so true.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!
Saturday, July 15, 2006
In my last post I was a little too hard on the officer who came to leave me the (stupid, useless) summons to court. Last year, he seemed like a real bully. I think he was miffed that I didn’t see the card that he left in the mailbox (federal offence). I had gotten the mail while still in my car, and the card fell out of the stack. I found it several months later - yes I know, it is months between cleaning of my car, but business cards are small!
This year, I called and had to leave a message. I was gone to the attorney’s office when he called. He instructed me to leave a message as to the best time for him to return. I just love to play phone tag!
When he came yesterday, we had a very good conversation. He was cordial and humorous. I told him we wouldn’t meet like this next year however. We discussed the asinine rules of law requiring me to turn the estate over to me both wondering how many lawyers to took to get rulings like that in place.
I spoke with SIL about the move. She told me that it went fairly smoothly. FIL did not participate with it other than driving the car there. The counselor at the facility had everyone in the world come by to greet them. All the support staff came by and gave them their cards. When M and P left, FIL was at least reading some pamphlets about the facility. Several of the men who live in the same group of cottages had come by previously. But as to him staying, that is the unknown in this equation. I guess we will just have to see.
K went to see them today. I understand MIL has lots of things for her to do. MIL is like that. If family comes, she finds things for them to do. I was reading her autobiography yesterday. When she was scheduled for back surgery a couple of years back, her thoughts were to clean and straighten all closets, all drawers, paint rooms, etc. She is and has been struck with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. She annoys G to the point of distraction. In her autobiography almost every other sentence was "I washed and ironed clothes." That seems to be her perception of her role in life. G told me she even irons boxer underwear.
I am anxious to hear from K this evening. Not only is she dealing with her grandparents, she will be dealing with S’s family. This is the first time they have spent any time with them since S’s daughter decided to move back with her mother. She then proceeded to really "dump" on K. She told them K was overbearing, and that was the reason she went back to her mother. She said she never could talk to S because of K. In reality, she was always afraid to talk to S seeking K out. S’s family has been so devious about contacting M. She normally would never seek them out, but M is aware of the previous problems in that family and is all too ready to use them to cause more and more dissenting and turmoil. That is really too bad. The only way she can validate herself is to cause turmoil.
This year, I called and had to leave a message. I was gone to the attorney’s office when he called. He instructed me to leave a message as to the best time for him to return. I just love to play phone tag!
When he came yesterday, we had a very good conversation. He was cordial and humorous. I told him we wouldn’t meet like this next year however. We discussed the asinine rules of law requiring me to turn the estate over to me both wondering how many lawyers to took to get rulings like that in place.
I spoke with SIL about the move. She told me that it went fairly smoothly. FIL did not participate with it other than driving the car there. The counselor at the facility had everyone in the world come by to greet them. All the support staff came by and gave them their cards. When M and P left, FIL was at least reading some pamphlets about the facility. Several of the men who live in the same group of cottages had come by previously. But as to him staying, that is the unknown in this equation. I guess we will just have to see.
K went to see them today. I understand MIL has lots of things for her to do. MIL is like that. If family comes, she finds things for them to do. I was reading her autobiography yesterday. When she was scheduled for back surgery a couple of years back, her thoughts were to clean and straighten all closets, all drawers, paint rooms, etc. She is and has been struck with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. She annoys G to the point of distraction. In her autobiography almost every other sentence was "I washed and ironed clothes." That seems to be her perception of her role in life. G told me she even irons boxer underwear.
I am anxious to hear from K this evening. Not only is she dealing with her grandparents, she will be dealing with S’s family. This is the first time they have spent any time with them since S’s daughter decided to move back with her mother. She then proceeded to really "dump" on K. She told them K was overbearing, and that was the reason she went back to her mother. She said she never could talk to S because of K. In reality, she was always afraid to talk to S seeking K out. S’s family has been so devious about contacting M. She normally would never seek them out, but M is aware of the previous problems in that family and is all too ready to use them to cause more and more dissenting and turmoil. That is really too bad. The only way she can validate herself is to cause turmoil.
Friday, July 14, 2006
One circus after another
My life is often just one circus after another. Tuesday when I was out either for my blood work or Simone’s blood work, one of our finest constapimples (constable) dropped by my house again. This happened last year. Since I was my father’s guardian, I have to report to the court every year with an accounting of the estate. I turn everything over to my attorney, and she goes to court.
Last year, things didn’t get there early enough for the court’s liking, so they sent me a summons to appear in court. Have you ever been served a summons? I hadn’t. I was in here doing something when someone beat on my front door so hard that I thought the door was going cave in. Cats went flying everywhere. They thought the world was ending. It was a constapimple. He was serving papers. I was totally panicked. I had never had such a thing happen to me.
I immediately came in to call my attorney. She calmed me down, and explained that everything was fine. The papers were submitted, and I did not have to go to court. So when I found the card, I knew what was going on. This is such a waste. Those papers did not have to be sent out, and there is no reason for this man to "serve" me. In effect, I am turning the estate over to me. This is another case of the innocent paying for those who are criminals. I know there are guardians that take advantage of the estate. What’s funny is that they can do it legally. They can be paid for doing this job. What a scam.
So tomorrow Officer Swiss Steak will come to my house, pound on my door, and have me sign papers for a court appearance I don’t have to make. All of this so that I, as guardian, can turn the estate over to me, the executrix. At least I won’t have to deal with the good officer next year!
The in-laws are moved. She’s happy as a clam, and he is in a foul mood. There are several couples in the cottages, so he should be able to meet others. All of their previous friends have passed away. They need new friends. The future is hard to predict though. No one is sure he will stay.
Last year, things didn’t get there early enough for the court’s liking, so they sent me a summons to appear in court. Have you ever been served a summons? I hadn’t. I was in here doing something when someone beat on my front door so hard that I thought the door was going cave in. Cats went flying everywhere. They thought the world was ending. It was a constapimple. He was serving papers. I was totally panicked. I had never had such a thing happen to me.
I immediately came in to call my attorney. She calmed me down, and explained that everything was fine. The papers were submitted, and I did not have to go to court. So when I found the card, I knew what was going on. This is such a waste. Those papers did not have to be sent out, and there is no reason for this man to "serve" me. In effect, I am turning the estate over to me. This is another case of the innocent paying for those who are criminals. I know there are guardians that take advantage of the estate. What’s funny is that they can do it legally. They can be paid for doing this job. What a scam.
So tomorrow Officer Swiss Steak will come to my house, pound on my door, and have me sign papers for a court appearance I don’t have to make. All of this so that I, as guardian, can turn the estate over to me, the executrix. At least I won’t have to deal with the good officer next year!
The in-laws are moved. She’s happy as a clam, and he is in a foul mood. There are several couples in the cottages, so he should be able to meet others. All of their previous friends have passed away. They need new friends. The future is hard to predict though. No one is sure he will stay.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
A hard day has come
We made our pilgrimage to San Antonio on Monday to visit the in-laws and pick up the "stuff." When we got there, FIL was in the back room with my daughter. He seemed to be in fair spirits, but later I discovered it was only because of the great grandchildren being there. I sat with him for a few minutes. The first thing he said to me was "this is not my idea."
I understand fully that he doesn’t want to leave the house in which he has lived for 54 years. They built that house, raised their family there, had the grandchildren visit for weeks in the summers, entertained their great grandchildren there. That house was his dream. Not many blue color workers had a beautiful three bedroom home like this one. It even had a stone that was not used much at that time.
I have lived in my house for 31 years in November. We have made it our own. I don’t want to leave it either, and I hope that I don’t have to leave it in the foreseeable future. I do know that I will have to leave it someday if I live that long. As we age, this same situation is in our future.
I also know that the mess I walked into was not the way to handle this move. He agreed to a three-month trial. He was sitting in the sun porch with all the things that belonged in the china cabinet strewn around him. Boxes and boxes of things sat around waiting to be gone through by the children and grandchildren. He was surrounded by the objects obtained in his life strewn about, and being picked over by people. This was not the way to handle this situation. I am worried about him. He tends to depression anyway. He sits in what is now the chaos of his belongings while his wife of 64 years becomes more and more Obsessive Compulsive about leaving, which happens today.
My poor SIL has been there for a week and will remain until tomorrow. It has been a really tough time for her. FIL has taken his ire out on her. She has taken it all, but is now becoming angry about it. MIL is oblivious about FIL’s mood. She doesn’t care. I suppose that is one of the by-products of OCD. She is not focusing on anything else around her. G tried to tell her something, and she paid no attention. I don’t know how SIL will make it. She remarked that Fil could just stay in the house if he wanted. She was to the point she didn’t care anymore. She has been the brunt of so much of his anger that he will not direct to his wife. SIL is the youngest of the brood, and the only female.
As I was observing all this, I also realized even more fully how much they need to move - and probably not to just a retirement "village" but to full assisted living. On more than one occasion, I could see my father’s blank face appear in hers. She has dementia as well as her physical problems. He does too. I have seen this for years, but no one else has. I prayed I would never see "the look" again. It hurt me to the core. She is where my dad was when he was five years into his twelve-year journey into oblivion. He was partially functional for a while, but the result will be the same. She will have to go to full assisted living. Perhaps a memory support unit like he was in, a locked unit to protect her.
I don’t know what is in store for them in the future. Their future is limited as is, but I don’t know how good it will be. Are we going from a woman who was in constant pain, limited to what and where she could go, and focusing only on her pain becoming increasingly depressed? Or do we modify a house that is in a dangerous setting so that a man can go on happily until someone harms him or them? Someone’s mental health hangs in the balance. She will be happy there. She will get out and meet others that are living there. She will go back to the way she was before, but what will happen to him. If I could write the ending of this saga, he would find that there are people to meet and visit with. He can still take the dog out on walks - that are safe now. Their back yard will be plenty for them to sit out with the dog in the evenings and everyone will be just as happy - even if it is only 10 x 20. I just wish I could write the end to this tale. An ending where everyone can live out their lives happily. I’m just afraid of the real ending.
I understand fully that he doesn’t want to leave the house in which he has lived for 54 years. They built that house, raised their family there, had the grandchildren visit for weeks in the summers, entertained their great grandchildren there. That house was his dream. Not many blue color workers had a beautiful three bedroom home like this one. It even had a stone that was not used much at that time.
I have lived in my house for 31 years in November. We have made it our own. I don’t want to leave it either, and I hope that I don’t have to leave it in the foreseeable future. I do know that I will have to leave it someday if I live that long. As we age, this same situation is in our future.
I also know that the mess I walked into was not the way to handle this move. He agreed to a three-month trial. He was sitting in the sun porch with all the things that belonged in the china cabinet strewn around him. Boxes and boxes of things sat around waiting to be gone through by the children and grandchildren. He was surrounded by the objects obtained in his life strewn about, and being picked over by people. This was not the way to handle this situation. I am worried about him. He tends to depression anyway. He sits in what is now the chaos of his belongings while his wife of 64 years becomes more and more Obsessive Compulsive about leaving, which happens today.
My poor SIL has been there for a week and will remain until tomorrow. It has been a really tough time for her. FIL has taken his ire out on her. She has taken it all, but is now becoming angry about it. MIL is oblivious about FIL’s mood. She doesn’t care. I suppose that is one of the by-products of OCD. She is not focusing on anything else around her. G tried to tell her something, and she paid no attention. I don’t know how SIL will make it. She remarked that Fil could just stay in the house if he wanted. She was to the point she didn’t care anymore. She has been the brunt of so much of his anger that he will not direct to his wife. SIL is the youngest of the brood, and the only female.
As I was observing all this, I also realized even more fully how much they need to move - and probably not to just a retirement "village" but to full assisted living. On more than one occasion, I could see my father’s blank face appear in hers. She has dementia as well as her physical problems. He does too. I have seen this for years, but no one else has. I prayed I would never see "the look" again. It hurt me to the core. She is where my dad was when he was five years into his twelve-year journey into oblivion. He was partially functional for a while, but the result will be the same. She will have to go to full assisted living. Perhaps a memory support unit like he was in, a locked unit to protect her.
I don’t know what is in store for them in the future. Their future is limited as is, but I don’t know how good it will be. Are we going from a woman who was in constant pain, limited to what and where she could go, and focusing only on her pain becoming increasingly depressed? Or do we modify a house that is in a dangerous setting so that a man can go on happily until someone harms him or them? Someone’s mental health hangs in the balance. She will be happy there. She will get out and meet others that are living there. She will go back to the way she was before, but what will happen to him. If I could write the ending of this saga, he would find that there are people to meet and visit with. He can still take the dog out on walks - that are safe now. Their back yard will be plenty for them to sit out with the dog in the evenings and everyone will be just as happy - even if it is only 10 x 20. I just wish I could write the end to this tale. An ending where everyone can live out their lives happily. I’m just afraid of the real ending.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Our weekend
Well, we’re back up here in our little place in the hill country. We showed our "stuff" at the arts and craft fair in town yesterday. For July, the temperature was quite pleasant. Usually there is a hot, dry wind coming from the desert which isn’t too far away. It’s not uncommon for July to see triple digits in this part of the country.
The fair was set up under the towering pecan trees on the courthouse square. It is a requirement that you have a sun shelter however because the temperatures do have the ability to climb quite high, and there are places where the trees don’t cover. That could have been a problem where we were assigned. The morning began with sunlight covering most of our space before the sun rose higher in the sky. As it continued along its path, the shade deepened, and with the occasional breeze, it was bearable. The humidity is something that is not often a factor, but it was high yesterday. For those of us from the swamp, it was not unbearable. For those who hailed from this region, they were miserable.
There were more vendors that last year, and there were more people. But there wasn’t as much money flowing as previous years. We visited with our neighbors who said they were really down in sales. They made over $1300 last year, and would do good if they made $500 this year. We didn’t even make that.
Two of the families were partially up here. G’s brother and his wife came. Their daughter and her son came with them since her house was being painted by her husband. She wanted to be out of the house because she is pregnant. She is due to have twins in late October. K and I are in awe of her. I know people who have had twins, but never knew them during their pregnancies. It is just so strange to us. We can’t imagine what it is like to hbave two little bodies inside. Poor E however. Both babies are on track - for singletons!! If they continue like this, I don"t know how long she will be able to work and continue with her activities.
K really wanted to bring her dog, who has become an inside dog since her other two disappeared. I wasn’t sure how Simone would do since she has taken charge of the house. We introduced them briefly, and no blood was shed. They got here first. When we came in, King’s hair on his back bristled. It was a tense moment, but it was only than. A moment. Simone is not happy about the interloper though. Her food must be in the bedroom and not where she can eat when we eat. She decided she would mark the floor right off the bat! She has done that three times now. I would be more upset, but we will have new floor coverings before Thanksgiving (I hope).
The usual occasional bristling occured among us two legged creatures as well. G and I are pretty set in our ways, and things don’t happen as they would when it is just us. Son in law must go to sleep with the TV and wake up with the TV. The problem with that is that the only set is against our bedroom wall. S just doesn’t get it. But then his family and ours are at two very different ends of the spectrum. K was remarking n that last night after we returned from dinner with the kinfolks.
Today is a quiet (he is working on his feeder away from the house), and the kids are watching a movie on his computer in the other bedroom. Right now it is too hot to breathe outside, but the AC is keeping us very comfortable. Tomorrow we journey to San Antonio to go through more "stuff" as G’s parents prepare for the move to a retirement apartment. I really believe that MIL would do better to not dispose of everything right now. FIL has agreed to a three month trial. She is shutting everything down. No wonder he is grumpy. Perhaps a visit from Monkey Boy will cheer him. Monkey Boy is named for his favorite brother. We shall see. I hope it brings him some joy.
The fair was set up under the towering pecan trees on the courthouse square. It is a requirement that you have a sun shelter however because the temperatures do have the ability to climb quite high, and there are places where the trees don’t cover. That could have been a problem where we were assigned. The morning began with sunlight covering most of our space before the sun rose higher in the sky. As it continued along its path, the shade deepened, and with the occasional breeze, it was bearable. The humidity is something that is not often a factor, but it was high yesterday. For those of us from the swamp, it was not unbearable. For those who hailed from this region, they were miserable.
There were more vendors that last year, and there were more people. But there wasn’t as much money flowing as previous years. We visited with our neighbors who said they were really down in sales. They made over $1300 last year, and would do good if they made $500 this year. We didn’t even make that.
Two of the families were partially up here. G’s brother and his wife came. Their daughter and her son came with them since her house was being painted by her husband. She wanted to be out of the house because she is pregnant. She is due to have twins in late October. K and I are in awe of her. I know people who have had twins, but never knew them during their pregnancies. It is just so strange to us. We can’t imagine what it is like to hbave two little bodies inside. Poor E however. Both babies are on track - for singletons!! If they continue like this, I don"t know how long she will be able to work and continue with her activities.
K really wanted to bring her dog, who has become an inside dog since her other two disappeared. I wasn’t sure how Simone would do since she has taken charge of the house. We introduced them briefly, and no blood was shed. They got here first. When we came in, King’s hair on his back bristled. It was a tense moment, but it was only than. A moment. Simone is not happy about the interloper though. Her food must be in the bedroom and not where she can eat when we eat. She decided she would mark the floor right off the bat! She has done that three times now. I would be more upset, but we will have new floor coverings before Thanksgiving (I hope).
The usual occasional bristling occured among us two legged creatures as well. G and I are pretty set in our ways, and things don’t happen as they would when it is just us. Son in law must go to sleep with the TV and wake up with the TV. The problem with that is that the only set is against our bedroom wall. S just doesn’t get it. But then his family and ours are at two very different ends of the spectrum. K was remarking n that last night after we returned from dinner with the kinfolks.
Today is a quiet (he is working on his feeder away from the house), and the kids are watching a movie on his computer in the other bedroom. Right now it is too hot to breathe outside, but the AC is keeping us very comfortable. Tomorrow we journey to San Antonio to go through more "stuff" as G’s parents prepare for the move to a retirement apartment. I really believe that MIL would do better to not dispose of everything right now. FIL has agreed to a three month trial. She is shutting everything down. No wonder he is grumpy. Perhaps a visit from Monkey Boy will cheer him. Monkey Boy is named for his favorite brother. We shall see. I hope it brings him some joy.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
At wit's end
For every step forward with technology, it seems I take two steps back. I just tried to post that I finally remembered how to find all the sites I had bookmarked. Those treasures that I thought were gong forever. I knew they had to be here somewhere.
I then convinced F*refox to allow spell check. So now I may have posts that make some sense. That is IF I am allowed to publish. I wrote a little post a while ago that was not allowed to be published. It is floting around cyberspace somewhere!
I then convinced F*refox to allow spell check. So now I may have posts that make some sense. That is IF I am allowed to publish. I wrote a little post a while ago that was not allowed to be published. It is floting around cyberspace somewhere!
Mish mash
As I have moaned before, technology has passed me by. Today I finally recalled (or just stumbled upon) how to get my favorites back. I can't believe I finally did it! Della and I are still fighting tooth and nail, and I don't have time to call India right now. That always ends up being an hour conversation with me crawling about on the floor removing memory cards and unplugging cables.
I still cannot get everything to allow me to import into this blog nor use spell check. These posts should prove to be very interesting.
We are working like little beavers trying to get enough product for the craft show this weekend. K has gotten really excited about things. She is really working on things now. It is difficult with the two small children.
We will be stopping in San Antonio on our way back home. MIL called me Monday to ask us to stop by. She "has stuff to get rid of." I told G I couldn't see how she could have much. She has been doing that for years. With her getting rid of stuff, my step mom dying, and then my dad, I am having real difficulty with "stuff.'' Then, of course, I do have all my own "stuff' which has been accumulating for 31 years here. I think I need to pretend that I am moving!!
I still cannot get everything to allow me to import into this blog nor use spell check. These posts should prove to be very interesting.
We are working like little beavers trying to get enough product for the craft show this weekend. K has gotten really excited about things. She is really working on things now. It is difficult with the two small children.
We will be stopping in San Antonio on our way back home. MIL called me Monday to ask us to stop by. She "has stuff to get rid of." I told G I couldn't see how she could have much. She has been doing that for years. With her getting rid of stuff, my step mom dying, and then my dad, I am having real difficulty with "stuff.'' Then, of course, I do have all my own "stuff' which has been accumulating for 31 years here. I think I need to pretend that I am moving!!
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Sibling rivilary
My children are almost 33 and 30. In the past, they have been very close. When B entered high school, K immediately took him under her arm. They pretty much had the same friends. Hers were his, and his were hers. Their group of friends spanned from freshmen to seniors.
Their closeness continued during college, and pretty much into the time that K really rebelled and took off on her own. That is another story, and one of the two that I don't like to remember much less share.
They were pretty close until b got married. Then the relationship we had with B went the way of all married men. They are closer to the woman's family. It doesn't make it easy, but it is usually what happens.
We do try to have our Sunday night dinners though. Part of the reason those don't happen as much is our fault. We are gone two Sundays a month. But when were are here, we do try. Most of the time we get together.
Last Sunday, B asked if is was ok +for his engaged friends to come along. K was not happy about that. She wanted to visit her brother without anyone else there. She got so incensed that she indicated she would not come. That scared me because she was bringing the food. It was the left overs from S's surprise birthday party the night before. I was going to be in a real bind! She fumed over the phone for a while. Later she called and apologized. I thought things would be ok.
K and S were late, of course. The drive was full, and they had to park at the curb. I know she did it just to make a point, but she brought all the food in at once. She never came up to the door to ask for help. She just loaded herself down, then came in with a glare for everyone. I thought we were in for a long evening.
Tensions finally settled, and I think everyone had a great time visiting. But it was touch and go for a while! I expect Lady Bug and Monkey Boy to have sibiling rivilaries, but heavens to Betsy, my two are getting a little long in the tooth for this stuff!! ONe of my friends who has children that are twenty years older than mine told me it never got easier. Was she ever right!
Their closeness continued during college, and pretty much into the time that K really rebelled and took off on her own. That is another story, and one of the two that I don't like to remember much less share.
They were pretty close until b got married. Then the relationship we had with B went the way of all married men. They are closer to the woman's family. It doesn't make it easy, but it is usually what happens.
We do try to have our Sunday night dinners though. Part of the reason those don't happen as much is our fault. We are gone two Sundays a month. But when were are here, we do try. Most of the time we get together.
Last Sunday, B asked if is was ok +for his engaged friends to come along. K was not happy about that. She wanted to visit her brother without anyone else there. She got so incensed that she indicated she would not come. That scared me because she was bringing the food. It was the left overs from S's surprise birthday party the night before. I was going to be in a real bind! She fumed over the phone for a while. Later she called and apologized. I thought things would be ok.
K and S were late, of course. The drive was full, and they had to park at the curb. I know she did it just to make a point, but she brought all the food in at once. She never came up to the door to ask for help. She just loaded herself down, then came in with a glare for everyone. I thought we were in for a long evening.
Tensions finally settled, and I think everyone had a great time visiting. But it was touch and go for a while! I expect Lady Bug and Monkey Boy to have sibiling rivilaries, but heavens to Betsy, my two are getting a little long in the tooth for this stuff!! ONe of my friends who has children that are twenty years older than mine told me it never got easier. Was she ever right!
Monday, July 03, 2006
Oh my!
Things are becoming interesting around the old homestead. First, I have been doing battle with Della the besk top once again. I think she is going through menopause, and is becoming increasingly cranky. Saturday she decided that I should no longer access my mailbox that I have through me server. In fact, as that program began to boot, she gave me the message that my account does not allow that access. I finally got the tool bar back, but it just impotently sits there. As I write this I can just imagine what searches are going to end up here!
I thought I had solved the problem late last night when I finally made the big jump to Firefox. I am a faithful girl even though Firefox had been greeting me every morning there on the desk top, but not being too forward. It just flirted with me. It invited me over for coffeem but never crossed the line. It just sat there - waiting. So yesterday I divorced Explorer. Things were super - for a while. But now the tool bar is once again just impotently sitting there. Mocking me.
Now, the real problem I suspect is with Della herself. When she died last month and the guru in India allowed a technician to actually come to revive her, it was only a brief cure. It just got the heart started, but the brain damage was still there. When Technician One came out, he had a power supply AND a motherboard. The problem was the power supply transplant was a dud. That meant I had to have Technician Two who brought the same transplants. Once he got the heart started, he throught the brain was ok. Della has not been the same since. She is increasingly shutting me out of things.
I once was able to write my post in WordPerfect and copy and paste. Nope that is not allowed. I don't know if it is Della or Firefox or for that matter Blogger. So I have to write on the final copy. But then the new girl in the house does the same thing. Gladys doen't let me cut and paste. I also just discovered Della is not letting spell check work. Great. Sorry folk for the typos. I can't type, and I am the world's worst proof reader. That is a terrible combination.
My mother was so afraid that I would become a secretary, she always turned me away from typing classes. Of course when I DID take the college route - before PC's - she refused to type my papers! If she only knew the disparity in salaries of Executive Secretaries and teachers! But that's another story!
All I can say for sure is that my extended warranty is not up yet, and I plan to extend it.
I thought I had solved the problem late last night when I finally made the big jump to Firefox. I am a faithful girl even though Firefox had been greeting me every morning there on the desk top, but not being too forward. It just flirted with me. It invited me over for coffeem but never crossed the line. It just sat there - waiting. So yesterday I divorced Explorer. Things were super - for a while. But now the tool bar is once again just impotently sitting there. Mocking me.
Now, the real problem I suspect is with Della herself. When she died last month and the guru in India allowed a technician to actually come to revive her, it was only a brief cure. It just got the heart started, but the brain damage was still there. When Technician One came out, he had a power supply AND a motherboard. The problem was the power supply transplant was a dud. That meant I had to have Technician Two who brought the same transplants. Once he got the heart started, he throught the brain was ok. Della has not been the same since. She is increasingly shutting me out of things.
I once was able to write my post in WordPerfect and copy and paste. Nope that is not allowed. I don't know if it is Della or Firefox or for that matter Blogger. So I have to write on the final copy. But then the new girl in the house does the same thing. Gladys doen't let me cut and paste. I also just discovered Della is not letting spell check work. Great. Sorry folk for the typos. I can't type, and I am the world's worst proof reader. That is a terrible combination.
My mother was so afraid that I would become a secretary, she always turned me away from typing classes. Of course when I DID take the college route - before PC's - she refused to type my papers! If she only knew the disparity in salaries of Executive Secretaries and teachers! But that's another story!
All I can say for sure is that my extended warranty is not up yet, and I plan to extend it.
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