Another job I don't want to do

Getting this laptop was probably one of the worst things that could have happened. This little gem allows me to sit at the breakfast room table and watch cable shows while I do my computer stuff. Otherwise I would be in the "study" with the little battery/power cord portible tv that will be obsolete in a new months since it recently got a reprieve!

For most normal people that wouldn't be a problem at all. OK you use a computer at the table instead of the (old, slow) CPU in the room for it. Yep, for normal people, no problem at all. But if we have a room that is not being used, it is all too easy to become a catch all for "things that I don't want to deal with at the moment.." That moment has been going on for years now. Time flies, don't you know.

So what this means is that everything we want to keep the grandchildren out of are in there. Papers that I need to file are in there. The clear spot is the bed that resides in there. G will move there on the nights before he has to work to escape the two snorers in the master. He gets it stereo - me and the dog.

Before I go on, he is not innocent! He does his share of snoring too. I can't sleep in the study bed however because it doesn't support me well enough. I end up on the sofa in the den!

But I digress. G announced that he was going to work on (shudder) the income tax this weekend. These times bring great drama to the house as it is, but he has to use that computer. Right now he cannot even see that desk or the chair which is his fault because he piles things in that chair for my action. Since I never go in there except to put things on the desk, they don't get acknowledged.

But the mountain of stuff piled on the desk and threatening to leak to the floor still has to be dealt with. But I am like a three year old - I don't want to. I have three days to finish that task. Perhaps if I do as all the "organization experts" advise - set a timer for 10 minutes. That may solve my problem - ha!

Peace.

Venting - again

Before my first grandchild was born, I had read someplace that keeping a journal for that child was just the thing to do. So I marched out and purchased said journal. Along came Lady Bug, and I would write in that journal religiously. I related things from my past, family history, and the like. It was rapidly filling.

Then came Monkey Boy (and C's miscarriage). So I marched out and bought two new journals. That's when I came to the conclusion there was no way I could match LB's journal because I didn't want to copy all that stuff in her journal. Plus I was no longer newly retired searching for things to fill my days. I was also keeping Monkey who was by far a greater challenge than LB had been.

It was then I first discovered blogging. I read blogs religiously. I had (still have) an extensive list of blogs I read. The idea of keeping a journal for the grandchildren was still in my mind though. So after thinking long and hard, Musings was born. It was first designed to be an electronic journal for my grandchildren.

Somewhere along the line, that focus shifted a little. My best friend is still working. In fact her job is really more time consuming than teaching. She is often out of the country. So I found myself with no one to vent to. This place became that place.

Daughter will vent to me about her in-laws, job, and even husband, but I know that I cannot vent to her about some topics - her husband being one. She becomes, as should be, the protective lioness.

S is a good hearted fellow, and he is so very good to her. That is the important thing. But his parents damaged him terribly. His family is well documented here.. They are nothing but trash. Sad but true.

Because of that, he is still hung up on possessions. He had a need for earthly things. They bought their flat screen before us. Before that, they had to have the huge model of TV. I don't know how big that sucker was, but it was huge. We got our new tv last week. This weekend I mentioned that we were going to go ahead and have the Hi Def cable box put in. By golly, he called to get his provider out - today.

What's the problem? Well, he and K were going to a meeting about putting Monkey into a bridge program. He is old enough for kindergarten next year, but he is clearly not ready. He would be one of the youngest in the class. The maturity simply isn't there. Our wonderful school district, yeah, the one where I slaved for 20 years, will not hold them back in kindergarten. The standards for going on are so low that everyone goes on to first grade. They will retain in first, second, so on. That's when it does have more meaning to the child. So they are looking into that program at a local church.

S forgot about this important program in his zeal to have Hi Def. LB was stuck down with strep again yesterday. I got a call early this morning. They wanted me to watch her during the meeting. No problem. I love having her. Except they wanted me to come to their house because the technician was going to come.

Today is my only day that doesn't require me to leave the house. I want to stay here. They don't have their wireless hooked up, so I can't do my internet stuff. Whine.

Anyway, I still feel S put status ahead of his child. I am probably being too harsh. He needs to have a little more understanding I guess, but . . .

This is why the blog is not for the grandchildren as much anymore. Before I die, I guess I better get in here and purge!

Peace.

I'm still here!

Things really got away from me last week. I am not used to having things to do!! I was proud of the order for the seven burp cloths. They all turned out to be really cute. The "little old lady from Pasadena" ended up with a family emergency and could not drive all the way across what seems like the nation. We literally are at opposite ends of the area and in different cities.

I was so tickled when she thought she would be able to meet and exchange money for merchandise. She described them as "elderly." When she called back after the crisis in her life subsided a bit, she was describing her sister (who was the crisis) as being 68. I thought OK, must be a younger sister. No! This lady, Paula, is 58!!! She would really think I am elderly. I just couldn't admit to my 63 years! We are going to take care of all by mail.

The kids were all here for dinner last night, and things went surprisingly well. There is usually a current of, well, concealed dislike. Can't call it anything nicer. The in-laws don't really like one another. I usually spend the night on pins and needles, but it was peaceful last night. C is ready to have that baby, and she is very concerned that her feet look like they belong on the Pillsbury Doughboy. They are so swollen, bless her heart.

She is also concerned about the timing of this baby coming into the world. B has a gig this weekend. He has never had to cancel a gig in these many years, and he doesn't want to now. However, he won't miss the arrival of this baby either. Then we have the Rodeo coming up at the end of the month. There is a BIG do before - the Bar-be-que cook off that runs several days. It is important to his career that he and his band play that event. He gets the cream of bookings there - weddings. He worked hard to get into the cook off, and really doesn't want to lose it.

C is just so done. Mothers you all know where she is. She is 39 weeks, and feels like this is a terminal condition. Up to this point, she didn't want to even consider induction. She was going to wait it out. She really didn't want drugs either. One of their close friends is a dula and will be with her. Vanessa seems to have a real grip on labor and delivery. After talking to C, she was assured that she doesn't have to be a woman warrior. I'm glad. C has come a long way from a home water birth to considering induction AND drugs.

This is another full week. Wednesday is what I will consider the most useless day. I see the radiation oncologist, and I will leave with no more information than I have right now. She will just give me more of her Indian medicine lore and an appointment for 6, 9 or 12 months later. And so it is!

Peace.

Scheduling conflicts

Most days, I sit here with nothing to do really. I do find a lot of things to keep myself busy, but there are no appointments per se.

But occasionally I get slammed with appointments. This is one of the two times a year that is chock full of doctor/dentist appointments. Now that I have joined the sewing club, that comes up the first Thursday of the month, and then we added to it all when we bought the new entertainment center last week.

All things met today. I was supposed to see the radiation oncologist, which is still a puzzle to me. I don't know why I see her. She looks, pokes and gives me another dose of her Middle Eastern folk medicines! I never could understand why she advised me to drink only regular temperature water - no ice, but that's a whole other story.

Today is also club meeting day. I really wanted to go, and perhaps I still can. They have morning, afternoon, and evening meetings. If I can I'll go to the 1:30 one.

But right now, here I sit waiting for delivery of the new stuff. I thought they would arrive early, but there are differing definitions of early. I am scheduled for morning, but there are still many hours in "morning."

G really hates the store where we purchased the stuff. I am very nervous about how this is all going to play out. When I was getting ready to move furniture, because the G*ek Squad is not supposed to move any furniture, I realized that I didn't know how big the stand was. So, I went on line to get the specs on that piece. It was then I decided I would read reviews of that stand. Fine time to do that - since it has been paid for! But that's me.

The biggest thing that was negative about the piece was that assembly was a bear. Well - that's what I paid them for. I just hope they check it out before they leave with it to make sure it is all there and in good conditions.

I think I will have them in my house for at least three hours. It appears that just the stand will take at least 1 hour. So the big question is just when they will arrive.

I think I will be canceling my club meeting today too!

Peace.

I hate the wait

When I picked up the mail from the weekend from the box, one of the first things I saw was an envelope with the medical center return address and logo on it. I didn't think too much about it until I saw it was from the breast center. That took me rapidly back to December 2006. The letter was from the mammography place I used then. It was an abnormal mammogram.

With dread, I opened the envelope. There were two pieces of paper inside. Each was a letter. It was the results of the mammogram and ultrasound. Panic hit me like a tidal wave. I quickly scanned them. It was to report the results as normal. I was so relieved tears came to my eyes. Last year they didn't send letters. I guess they changed their routine. And I am glad. They treated me so very well. Even at the end of the ultrasound, the physician came in to tell me that on a quick inspection, they all looked normal.

I still hate this waiting between oncologist visits though. When I was going through the sheer hell of chemo, I hung on the marker readings much more than my other blood levels. It has been five months since my last visit with Dr Poison. I don't see him until next month. It feels like an eternity.

I think I am worried because my energy level is nothing. I am tired all the time. The other thing that has me concerned it the headache that is with me a lot of the time. I keep thinking the headache is from sinuses. I just don't know. It could be due to my glasses being too far out of date. I don't know but it is there.

The fatigue could be part of what I think is depression. My emotions are all over the place. I break into tears for no good reason. But then, I think my little pink pills that ward off all that nasty old estrogen could be the cause of my mood.

I really do just hate the wait.

Peace.

Our weekend - again

The weekend was really rather quiet. I spent almost all day Saturday and a good part of Sunday opening zip files of downloaded embroidery designs. I couldn't believe how many I had!!

The part of Saturday I wasn't working on the computer I participated in something I had never done before. We made venison link sausage. I have made breakfast sausage myself, and this year we did it at the neighbors because he has a terrific grinder. It took just a few minutes to grind that meat where it takes me most of the day because our grinder will burn out if it gets too much pushed through it!!

We decided we would do some link this time. It really was fun, and very, very easy. The only thing is that it couldn't be smoked because E had already closed up the smoke house for the year. But that was ok. We had some for dinner Sunday night, and it was pretty good.

I am totally sleep deprived. Simone has always been an occasional snorer. But this weekend she was the champ. She out-snored G! I tried to sleep in another bedroom, but I am so funny about beds. I don't sleep in different beds very well - even if they are in my own house. I think she was so bad because it is so dry up there - especially for us swamp dwellers. One day the humidity in the closest big city (Capitol City) was 8%! But she is going to get to have her teeth cleaned soon. Ill have her checked out.


Before leaving on Friday, I checked the business email. I got a good chuckle out of it. A woman emailed asking for a close up of the diaper cake, and then asked what else I had for a little girl for last weekend. Our cakes are custom. I guess I need to make that really obvious. I told K about it, and her response was we should make some generic ones to have on hand. I guess that's a good point. I started that with some of the burp cloths - that's why I am five short instead of three for the recent order. Well, three or five, I still have to go out today to get more so it doesn't really matter.

I guess this is something that is in our society today. Even though items are advertised as being custom made and personalized, the expectation is still there that something of that quality still can be had on the spot. So, I will begin making the bands for the cakes in a generic design. Putting the cake together only takes a few minutes. Sounds like a plan.

Peace.

Ugh

Yesterday, I thought I would post pictures of the new lights that I am so proud of. I really thousht I might do just that. But the thought was before I worked for two hours in two different sessions to post, or rather try to post, four pictures to the web site.

I know I am far from proficient with this computer stuff, but Photoshop has me completely stymied. Talk about a balky program. At least it was with me and on this laptop. I was so completely frustrated. Of course, it didn't help that some of the protective programs on this computer decided to do their scans during the process, and every time I hooked the camera to the computer, microsoft decided to load to take the pictures.

When I finally got the pictures onto the computer, I went to the web site. I saved them in the proper format, but the web site said they weren't. So here I am without new pictures on the web site.

That is a long way of telling you that my beloved lights are still not here on the blog.

I did get a hit from C*aigs List, but alas, I didn't have more burb cloths on hand. I hope she will contact me again.

We will be off the the SSB first thing in the morning. I am, as usual, conflicted about this trip because I really need to be here to sew. Perhaps I'll take the smaller machine and the fabric for aprons and do them. The ones I want to do don't require the big embroidery machine.

Since we will be off in the morning, I'll wish you a great weekend here and now. And I will be back to fightiing Photoshop!

Peace.

New lights spice up the house

About five years ago, I was going to redo my kitchen and breakfast room. I found new wallpaper, and I went out and bought a pendulum light fixture to go over my sink. I thought it would add more light to the room. I think I could have a 10,000 watt bulb in there and G would complain about how "dark" the kitchen is.

Being the procrastinator that I am, the wall paper still resides behind the door in my bedroom, and more than that, I have decided that I want to texture the walls and faux paint them. The pendulum lamp lived in the study. It was moved from place to place, and almost forgotten.

Then last year, I saw a chandelier in a catalog that I absolutely fell in love with. K is always asking what I want for my birthday or whatever gift giving occasion comes up. I had seen that chandelier, and I told her that was it. So long before my July birthday, she ordered it. It came to my house and lived around or in the entry hall until last weekend.

B is so good about changing my light fixtures, but that baby is going to be here at any time. In fact, C has been to the hospital twice with false labor. I called him to see if he could spare some time last weekend to put up my lights. He could, and he did.

I feel almost like I have a new house. Now I need K's kitchen contractor to get his butt over here to give me an estimate for the work I want done. I think he may be here next Thursday. I need help in the other remodeling project (our new TV).

Strange how little things can put a new spark in your life. And on Monday I thought last weekend was rather boring. Was I ever wrong. It has provided my with subject matter for three days! I think I will try to post pictures of my new lights tomorrow.

Peace.

I'm stimulating!

Yep, we are doing our part to stimulate this economy!!

When all the talk about TV going digital, G thought we would have to replace our sets. Now I was really stupid when I revealed my superior intelligence on the subject and told him that since we had cable here and satellite at the SSB, we were fine. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! I have wanted a flat screen for a long time. If I had kept my mouth shut - I would have that set.

The problem with that is our present set is absolutely fine. It has a great picture, and shows no signs of dieing any time soon. I just can't throw out a perfectly good set for really no good reason. My son has the same set, and his is rocking along just fine as well. We bought them about the same time - probably a good 12 years ago.

Finding a good home for a 12 year old, 27 inch analog TV is not easy. The poor baby is obsolete, and it just doesn't know it. It sits there proudly running programs all day without complaining at all. How can I just pitch it. I doubt that even the resale shops would want it.

Well, I now have that problem. Sunday I looked at the ad from the remaining electronics biggie. I usually don't because G hates them with a passion. He tried to get something covered under warranty several years ago, and it didn't go well. When things like that happen to him, he does not go back to said store (or chain).

This store had a 42 inch flat screen, surround sound, and their people to come set it up for $1200. I was talking about it to the kids before dinner. Yesterday, after our respective doctor appointments, he suggested we both go to that store to see about that TV. I really was quite amazed.

So off we went. We got there. Marched right up to the set. And no one was there to help us. There was one salesman, but he didn't even acknowledge our presence. I know he had a customer, but he could have said he knew we were there.

So I decided to wander up to the front of the store with my bewildered face. It worked. We got a very knowledgeable young man with a great personality. I finally walked out of there about $2000 lighter with the date to put the stand together and set up our TV next Thursday. I guess he was really a good salesman, but technology has run by and left me in the dust. Probably I could have gotten by with a cheaper surge protector, but I also remember the PC being all but destroyed by a close lightening strike. This one has the cable going into it before the set.

Happy Valentines Day (I guess) to us! And viva the economy!

Peace.

Ho hum

This weekend was one that was so ordinary! Saturday, I thought I might become a real estate mogul. K found a house here that was about $80,000 under price. We rushed over to look at it. It had been previously leased by a little girl who went to school with Lady Bug. I was amazed at how the house had been abused. I am not a fanatic house keeper. I'll be the very first to admit that. When I had a full time job, a part time (every other week as organist for a church), and trying to get a craft store going, I realized that something had to give. Since I wanted some time to be with family, I wasn't going to be a spotless housekeeper.

Looking at that house, I am a spotless housekeeper. That poor house was so trashed - in fact most of the trash was left behind in the house and scattered around the yard. The house has the strangest floor plan I have ever seen. The very center of the house is a dining room. A formal living is directly in front, and a small den behind it. There is no direct access from the kitchen to the dining room.

We looked and planned. It was daughter, son in law, the contractor, the real estate agent and me. None of us to come up with a good way to make that house one that would be livable. It was such a mish mash. The contractor estimated a good $45,000 to work on it. Both baths had to be completely gutted, and most of the kitchen. The first blow to the deal after that estimate was looking at the pool. It is literally the black lagoon. That didn't scare me that much because the first year we had the cover on ours, when the cover came off - it was the black lagoon. When I went to the pool equipment to turn on the pump - nothing happened. Ah so! Talk about a real money pit! The diving board had been broken off and was completely missing.

The real killer was when I looked over the back door. It appeared that that section had moved upward. The contractor then looked with more detail. There were lightning bolt cracks in the exterior brick - not one but several. That sealed the fate. Not the house for us.

I am still amazed at just how strange that floor plan was. I would love to know who built that thing. I would love to know what he was thinking. More than that, I would love to know who the architect was. He is bound to be out of business and very poor now!

Peace.

Interesing times

I am such a newbie at things like web pages it is just awful. Yesterday I decided to go to our website to tweek what I could just a little. When I finally found the proper pathway to the blasted thing, when I called up a text box, nothing showed. I could not edit anything. Talk about frustration. I could, and did, delete items - those that I didn't want deleted. But I could not edit any text boxes.

So, I went to support. The first place I ended up was not correct, but they transferred me to another live chat support. Let me tell you, I have never chatted via internet. That was new experience 1. Then after a bit, she said that, with my permission, she could take over my computer to fix the problem. That was new experience 2. It was really strange seeing my pointer move over the page and pages open and close without me touching anything.

She got me fixed - at least yesterday. I haven't tried to access it today. I need to take pictures of our items to post. I don't know if I'll be able to post everything. Our jewelry itself is a large inventory. We'll see. When I signed up for this particular web hosting, I am supposed to be limited to 50 things. I don't know how that will pan out. I have only committed to three months though. That's when the lower monthly fee jumps to the regular fee.

I just talked to B. He told me that C was contracting all night again. She refuses to go back to the hospital until "it's time" because the bed is uncomfortable. I hope she isn't cutting off her nose to spite her face. This may be pre-term labor again that should be stopped again. That baby needs to finish cooking. I know she is almost 34 weeks, but there is a reason babies are term at 40 weeks.

It was just last night that I told G that I would wait until this little one is born before going to the hospital. If I can learn the sex on her timetable, there is no reason to just sit at the hospital when I can stay here.

Oh the drama, drama!

I called to get the results of my latest blood work that was ordered when I went to see Dr Cardio. My blood glucose is elevated, and the A1C showed it to be elevated. Since the triglycerides are also high, there may be the development of Diabetes 2. Great. I am just so completely thrilled. Just what I need - another doctor, another disease, another pill. Rats! The nurse will call back because Cr Cardio hasn't signed off on the results yet, and will probably refer me to an endocrineologist. Just can't wait.

I can't believe another weekend is here already. Hope yours is peaceful and restful if that's what you want or exciting and envigorating if that's your forte!

Peace.

Busy, busy, busy!!

Yesterday was one of those days! It began with me preparing for my mammogram, but then getting a call from K. She said Lady Bug was sick with strep again. She apparently got it from the little girl of a friend that stayed with them on Monday. It was decided that I would keep her after I finished the mammogram.

I arrived at the Breast Center. They had the absolute most delicious coffee I had ever tasted. It was one of those singular cup thingies. The "coffee" seemed to be a packet of coffee concentrate. I still don't know exactly how the thing worked, but it was so good. It could also be because I was so cold. I was hard headed enough that I didn't put on my sweater for the drive out there in the freezing weather. Anyway, it was very good.

The physician at the Breast Center came in after the ultrasound was completed. He said that on first inspection, he couldn't see anything abnormal. I really appreciated him coming in. I thought that was very considerate. I find there are a lot of considerations for me since my diagnosis. He did put a thought in my mind however. He asked if I had a recent PET scan. I think I'll ask Dr Poison for one. That along with the bone density that he forgot to order!!

After I finished up there, I called K. She had taken LB to the doctor. They would have not thought she had strep until they did the throat culture. Sure enough! At least it was diagnosed early, and hopefully it will go away quickly.

I decided that I was going to take our "business" a step further. K said she has seen a lot of the diaper cakes advertised on Crai*s List. I went there to look. I think ours would sell. So I downloaded the picture. They are posted here. I also posted the burb cloths pictures.

After I checked on the list, I decided that I would try a web site. It is barely up and definitely a work in progress. It is www.thekdesign.com.
One day, hopefully this weekend, it will be completed. Right now, it is very rough with only a little really completed. I am such a novice at this kind of thing it is taking me forever!! Right now there are things that I absolutely do not want, things that need to be changed, and a very few things that are OK. It's not there yet for sure.

So it was an exciting day. I loved spending it with Lady Bug, and the news from the mammogram looks good. Every day is blessed.

Peace.

Too quiet

It is not unusual for Simone to "sleep in" some mornings, especially when it's chilly. But, the normal routine is that she gets up when we do, goes outside for her business, gets her Pril*sec, eats breakfast, and often as not, returns to her crate in our bedroom.

The other morning, we followed the normal routine. After breakfast she left the den rather than take the bed in here. I assumed she was in her crate and thought nothing more about it. I went about my normal routine.

When I was in the bedroom, I didn't look into her crate because she is usually huddled in the very back of it, again normal when it is chilly. Everything was normal.

We had noticed several evenings she would come out of the study. I didn't find that unusual either. I used to work at the desk in there with the desk top computer. She would come in with me and sleep on the floor.

I was getting ready to leave the house the other day. I had dressed and not given any thought to where Simone was. I assumed she was in that crate and never stooped to look. As I walked past the door to the study, something looked out of place. It was just out of the corner of my eye, and I stopped to look.

There, in the middle of the bed, was this dark lump. It was, of course, Simone. She didn't budge. I guess she thought I couldn't see her, but even when I told her to get down, she didn't move. I finally raised my voice to a point to where she moved!

I know when we leave the house, she will get on the sofa. I have looked in the window to see her on the couch, and G has caught her once. Usually she hears the key in the door and is down, looking like she has come from the back of the house because she is trying to get the to the hall. I neverr expected to find her on that bed however.

It was really funny. She had probably been doing that for some time. She found herself a new, warm, cozy place to sleep.

There may be no children in my house now, but when things get too quiet, I know that either Simone or the Roomba has gotten into some kind of trouble!

Peace.

Furthermore . . .

I'm still not completely over my snit, but I am working at it even though it may not seem like it. If I can just get all my feelings out, I think it will help.

I do know that I will never make anything else for C. It really hurt that I spent so long on things. The cake wasn't even mentioned last night - again.

At the shower, her mother was telling me that C has come up with further stipulations on telling the sex of this kid. She wants to be sanely awake before we can know what it is. I think her mother is not going to be present when it is actually born. It sounds like she won't know at birth. Then B is going to follow it as it goes to the nursery for the clean up and stuff. G will stay with C, and we will be the docile little mushrooms in the waiting room sitting on our thumbs while she gathers herself. When she is settled, THEN we will be allowed to know the sex. I am just about to not give a rat's rear.

My friend did come to the shower. I still am hurt that she doesn't initiate phone calls and emails, but I also realize that she leaves her house at 6am to return at 7pm. She also travels, mostly to Louisiana, but also the Netherlands and the Middle East.

As we talked, and we talked a lot, our friendship picked up where is was. I really need to get out of being so egocentric. The world does not and has not revolved around me ever.

The rounds of doctor visits begins tomorrow. They used to be clustered close together, but partially due to dear Ike, they are spread out some. I begin with the cardio tomorrow, then the mammogram on Wednesday. I get a break until Monday when I go to the wonderful experience of the ob/gyn (yipee - I can hardly wait). Then there is a gap before I go to the radiation oncologist. I still wonder why I need to see them. Then, finally, in March I go to the oncologist.

When I was taking chemo, I longed for these days of long gaps between times to see the oncologist. Now I would love to see him monthly. I am really frantic to see what the blood levels are. I want to know that there is not a spike in that chemical that would mean that the cancer is back. But all in due time.

So tomorrow, I will take my beloved sewing machine for its yearly check up. It needs some adjustment I know - especially the automatic threading. The store is on the way to the cardio doc. I am thinking of going to Cir*uit C*ty also. I hate to see them close. I also really want a flat screen TV. Had I kept my mouth shut, G would have thought we need a new set due to the DTV transition. I wouldn't be swimming upstream on this one. But we'll see. Since the wonder drugs for my knees didn't arrive on Saturday, and today is a holiday, we'll see just how far I can get!

Peace.

Thinned skin

I guess that title describes me to a "t." I find I do get my feelings hurt rather easily. I try to let things just roll off, but all too often they don't.

The baby shower held yesterday. As I later found out, the one whose house was used for the shindig didn't know until a few days before the glorious event that there were going to be so many people. She was beside herself. She acknowledged that her house doesn't hold that many people. Honestly, I don't know too many real homes that can accommodate that number of people. Fortunately, the weather was really nice, and the plethora of children could go outside to play which meant a lot of parents went with them to supervise especially since a pool was also present.

My feelings really got hurt when I walked in with that blasted diaper cake. That is supposed to be a centerpiece. I spend a good six or more hours so that it would be worthy. Without any note of it, it was placed on a side table. Even when gifts were opened, there was no noting of it.

Not only was the thing labor intensive, there was considerable cost involved. Just a large pack of disposable diapers costs a few coins - especially since she likes only P*mp*rs. Not any of the cheaper brands. Then when you begin adding little toys and other baby items into it, the cost rises even more. I don't count the fabric, thread, and ribbon into it. I have those things on hand, so I really don't know their cost per use. I buy large amounts of ribbon at a time - spools and spools. My fabric often comes from the remnant bin because there is a good amount for small projects like I do for a small amount of money. And I surely don't know how to calculate how much thread comes from a $5 spool. But there was the time factor. I don't charge for time - stupid.

There were favorable comments on the burb cloths, and the blanket was noted. The blanket wasn't the thing I was most proud of anyway. I never should have used such a plush blanket, and now I know that I should have put stabilizer on the top as well.

Even the man's diaper bag wasn't really looked at, and I think not really appreciated. I had enclosed a book written by Cosby that I had around here, and that was more appreciated than the other.

I'll post pictures in the next couple of days of the cake and burb cloths. I really don't have the time to download the camera right now, and I have to take the sewing machine in for its yearly check up on Tuesday since I'll be over there for my own check up with Dr. Cardio.

I guess things really started building up over the cake. There is a couple at C and B's church that makes really chunky jewelry using, among other things, antler cross sections. C really makes an effort to push that jewelry. She has never even said that mine is nice. I really think she thinks it is crap. That hurts. It seems that nothing that I produce is worth publishing to her friends and family.

At the end of the shower, there were little gift bags. I would guess there were around ten of them. They were given to various people - mostly her family, aunts and so on. K and I neither one got one. I don't know if they were thank you gifts for the work on the shower or what. K and I felt a little shunned.

I guess I am wearing my heart on my sleeve. I should be above this, and I should just suck it up and go on. But this is my place. This is where I can put my feelings. There is no other place where I can let this go. I can't tell G. He would think I was being silly. I can't tell K, she would be even more upset with C. I can't tell B - after all it's his wife, and he would, hopefully because it's the right thing, defend her. And he's my son, you don't tell your son these kinds of things.

So here it us. Laid out in all its ugliness. I hope this is my first step to healing the hurt I feel. I'm not going to be like my mother in law. I will not let this get in the way of my relationship because this would cause a deep fissure - I know for a fact.

Thanks for listening. I should just delete this. Peace.

Excitement

I was minding my business last night when the phone rang about 6:15. It was from B's house which I found strange because they don't usually call at that time on a Thursday night. They are usually not home on Thursdays.

B, in his usual way, kind of backed into the issue. He began with something that didn't seem too important along the lines of "I just wanted to give you a heads up." For all I knew, he had gotten some information from the group who is guiding him into real estate investment. His voice was all cool and reserved.

Then he said that C had been having regular contractions for a couple of hours. He went on the say they were going to finish fixing dinner, and then see what was going to happen. He never mentioned going to the hospital. I asked (how dumb!) if she had talked to her doctor. She talked to the office who told her to go to the hospital if she thought she was in labor. She had not talked to her doctor.

I told him to keep me posted, to which he replied in his usual smart as*ed way that they had intended to just forge ahead without telling me anything. Oh my son! Give him a slight opening and he will zing you. Here's your sign!

About 9:30 the phone rang again. They were in the hospital. She was dehydrated which caused the contractions. They were also trying to rule out a urinary infection (I didn't know about that one). So she was on an IV with fluids being pushed.

I called her just a while ago. She had a little over one unit of fluid (probably over a liter but I'm not conversant with things like that), and she did not have a urinary infection. She said the contractions didn't stop with the fluid, so they gave her an injection to stop them. But she is doing fine now.

I'm glad. Little creature needs to cook a little longer. It is only 34 weeks. She is ready to have this baby. Poor thing, she tells us that and we all just say "I know" because we have been there. That first baby is an experience! But I hope it stays put a little longer.

Today is Lady Bug's 8th birthday. I can't believe it! She is so funny. When I asked her what she wanted, she told me fabric to go with her little design set. I don't think she has cut or sewn one single piece, but I'll go to the fabric store and buy her a fat pack or two. Then I'll head over and buy her some new earrings!

Peace.

Over the top - I think.

I just got the answer to an email I send to C's friend who is the chief host of the baby shower Saturday. I knew there were a lot of people on the invitation list. When we stayed overnight during the hurricane days, I saw her spiral notebook with the names. I knew it was several pages, but I didn't know it was 100 people. That's how many invitations were sent. As of today, Crystal has only gotten 5 declines.

The shower is being held in the home of a "friend" of C's. It is in an upscale neighborhood, and probably has about 2900 square feet. That is my best estimate. I've been there once. That was for Crystal's baby shower. My house here in what is considered by C as the "getto" (another upscale city), is just as large, plus my "public" spaces are bigger and flow together. The formal living in the other house is a postage stamp with room for about 5 people - if they are close friends. The dining is about the size of mine - which is too small. Her den has seating for 8, but unlike mine, there is no room for more chairs. The breakfast room is really a hallway connecting the den and the off kitchen office. Her kitchen is a little larger than mine, but who wants to stand in the kitchen for a baby shower.

Please don't get me wrong - I never wanted to have the shower here. Lord, no!! I would have had to hire a cleaning service, and it would probably take them a week of full time work to get it ready for a party like this one.

I am really concerned about this thing. I know I'm not the only one who must have a place to sit. I am especially crippled these days partially due to the weather (I know we don't have it so bad - it's in the high 20's - high 50's)and partially due to the fact that I was too lazy to send in the refill for my arthritis meds. But regardless, I am really in bad shape.

I'm really concerned. We have G's elderly aunts planning to be there, and my sister in law and niece are coming from the Capitol City. I just don't know where people are going to find a place to just be, and I really don't know where people are going to be able to park. We are looking for at least 50 cars. Oh, my.

I guess it's not my problem, and my worring about it is not going to make things any better. Crystal estimated 60 +. I know not all 95 will show up. Folks just don't respond these days. But even with 60, I don't know where they will all find a place. Even in my open area house, 60 would be a stretch.

I'll let you know what happens.

Peace.

Tiny Town

While spending the week on the outskirts of Tiny Town at New Years, I got to thinking about the size of said town. Often people refer to the size of towns as "only having one stop light." Tiny Town is so small it doesn't have a single traffic light in the entire town.

As a matter of fact, it doesn't even have too many stop signs. The biggest decision in many years was the placement of a stop sign at the intersection of three highways on the northeast corner of the square. There were three stop signs on this corner before, but the placement of the fourth caused such confusion.

This is the main highway through town. It was considered the main drag. To place a stop sign there caused great distress. It was the main item in the weekly newspaper - for several weeks. People seemed to not be able to figure how to act now they had to stop!

Time has settled the anxiety. Traffic moves through the stop sign as though it has always been there.

It just shows how slowly time can move in these small towns. A change brings great anxiety! But after a while, it becomes normal again.

Peace.

OUCH!

It finally happened! I had to go for blood work prior to my appointment with Cardio guy next week. Since only my left arm can be used for such things, I have lived in fear that one day all those lovely little veins would duck and cover. It happened today.

The vampire that first came at me was digging (yes - really digging) in the wrong place. I pretty much know where my veins usually hang out. She was way too far to the side, but who's going to argue with someone with a needle and two vials to fill!

So she got the guy to come in. He tried a butterfly in the hand. Nothing came out, and it hurt. I was about to say let's just forget this whole thing, and I'll just toddle off home. He decided to try the inside elbow again. I could tell he was in the right place. Out came the blood, and home I came!

All through chemo, I worried about the blood tests. I just knew that that poor little vein would just give out. The first phlebotomist did ask what happened to that arm. I told her, and she understood. So after five surgeries, chemo, and radiation over the last two years, I finally had the first time having the vein give up. I'm not sure it was the vein however!

The joy of this is I get to do it over in about a month for the oncologist! Happy, happy!!

Peace.

It's almost time

The baby shower is right around the corner - Saturday. K and I finished the diaper cake. It is really cute.

I started on the blanket that I was going to machine embroider. I learned something new about my machine. When I looked at the first few stitches, the bobbin thread was coming up too much. Instead of that ribbon being blue, it was mostly white - the bobbin color. I changed the tension to 0.2, and there was still too much bobbin thread. I removed the hoop from the machine, and the blanket came out of the hoop. Well that was the end. I could never rehoop it exactly again. But I did discover that the problem was with the bobbin. If I replace the bobbin, things will go correctly.

I foolishly thought I could go to T*rget to get a new white plain blanket. Was I wrong. All the blankets they had already had embroidery on them. K was going to the baby store. I asked her to look. She found one. It is really plush - and that's the problem. It is double layered. It cannot be hooped. So I had to use the sticky stabilizer and then stitch around the design. The blanket is also so fuzzy that the design gets lost in the fuzz. I also found that the fuzz breaks down and clogs the needle. That means no stitching gets done, and I have to go over the area again.

I just thought of another potential problem. I haven't looked in the bobbin case yet. I'll just bet it is full of fuzz!! I have been thinking about leaving it with just the top design on it anyway. That is looking better and better!!

This shower is going to bring up another matter. My (previously best) friend has been invited. I haven't heard anything from her is over 8 months. She did forward an email joke to me the other day, but that has been the extent of communication. I just wonder if she will show.

I decided that I was tired of being the one to initiate communication. So I stopped. Obviously she didn't notice! As I said, I wonder if she will be there. If so I wonder how I will react.

Tell me why

Do you have a preferred seat in your house? I do. It is one that my knees will allow me to get up. I have one at the SSB also. I can get up.

My family knows where I sit. Both here and at the SSB. They are fully aware that at home, I sit on the sofa - the left side. At the SSB, I sit in the rocker next to the glass door.

One particular family member will park his butt in my seat!! Both here and at the SSB. It's uncanny. I can't figure our why he doesn't realize what he is doing. This has been going on for years!

Last week when our friend joined us, his twin girls sat in my chair at the SSB. It was their chair of choice.

What is going on here??? Why???

I can accept the girls taking up the chair before this family member. But it has certainly made me think. Why???

Peace.

Question

What happened to yesterday? It was here a minute ago, and now it's gone and it's today. Honestly, I turned around and it was gone - history.

I went to the sewing machine club. The project they had us do was really cute even though I was a doubter at first. Apparently I wasn't the only one to think so. Of the ten of us that came, which is a greatly reduced number, only two of us brought our machines. As we progressed, everyone really began to like the project. It was an embroidered post card. They are really cute. I'm not sure I would mail it, but it was cute!

I then spent the afternoon trying to put the foods I ate into the WW web site. I think I'm going to cancel that membership. It is just too difficult. I cannot access the site by Firefox, and even using Explorer, the site itself is difficult, at least for me, to use it. The point idea is good, and there are a lot more food choices than Atkins or South Beach. I just can't spend my time sitting here at the computer trying to figure the number of points I have used and have left.

I'm about to embark on the big project for the yet unknown grandchild. I went up last night and marked the position. Then I hooped the project to see how the placement was. Found out that I needed the bigger hoop.

I began trying to get the threads lined up. I don't have just one kind of thread. I have three manufacturers threads. Trying to make sure I have the correct color is confusing to say the least. I think I have it all straight, then I go about it all another way, and I think I am missing some thread. With twenty colors involved, it is enough to send me over the edge. Each hooping will involve 12-13 thread changes. It will be cute - I think.

The shower is next Saturday. I really hope I get this thing completed. I have the "ribbons" completed with the sheep embroidered for the diaper cake. I just hope K comes through with the remaining items that we need. I'm afraid she is going to let me down, and I will be scrambling at the last minute to get it done. I know my daughter all too well.

This will be it for this week. Hope your weekend is joyous.

Peace.

Distraught and more

I went along with K yesterday when she took Doodle Bug to the pediatric dentist. She was to have her two front teeth crowned, and we knew she would have to have at least one incisor pulled. As it turned out, she had both pulled.

I was really distraught about her having any teeth pulled. I worried about the implications of spacing. I really shouldn't be that worried. I didn't realize that she, like her mother, has an under bite. I took her mother at the age of 3 to a pediatric dentist because she had a bulldog's under bite. Had we left it alone, she would have looked like an English bulldog or a (much loved) boxer. It really was bad. DB's is not nearly that bad, but it very well may get to that point.

K is so upset about the entire situation. It seems poor teeth in children are, often as not, caused by poor genes. All three of these grandchildren have poor teeth to one extent to another. DB's appear to be the absolute worst while Monkey Boy seems to have better teeth. Don't get me wrong - his are still bad. He just barely escaped having to have crowns. We aren't sure what the future will bring.

DB was so bright and cheerful before the "la-la land" juice kicked in. She found the balloons that were there for the kids after they had their procedures. At one time she had five! After she was finished, she wanted nothing to do with them or anyone else!

It took a good hour for the happy juice to kick in, and I wasn't sure it did then. When they called her back, K asked if I wanted to go back. Nope - not me! I had enough with K with her ear infections and associated surgeries to place tubes in said ears. Fortunately 30 years of working with loud teenagers has killed enough of my hearing that I really couldn't hear DB's cries! She was more upset about being restrained however.

They worked with her, got the numbing shot in, and then send K out to pay the bill and make follow up appointments. By the time she got back in with DB, they had crowned the two front ones and pulled both incisors. That was really fast, less than ten minutes I believe.

DB was drowsy for a while. We had drive through for lunch while K held her here at my house. Then she decided it was time to go home. DB fought the car seat, but it's only a mile between homes. I understand they both slept through most of the afternoon, and by last evening, DB was playing with the other two. She ate well, which in itself is amazing. The child doesn't eat. Of course, unfortunately she has not been weaned from the breast yet. But she was hungry. She allowed her teeth to be brushed even. We both think there must have been more pain with those teeth than we knew.

She slept well, and this morning she was fine. K said you'd never know what she had been through. She has my sympathy though. I am sitting here with a mouth full of crowns. My first dentist felt that kids' teeth didn't have nerves in them. I had fillings and an extraction WITHOUT any numbing. I had been afraid of dentists for most of my life - thus not too many visits - and the outcome is a mouth full of crowns!!

In other news, I am setting to fighting the 50 pounds that found their way back (and brought a few friends I must say) during my cancer fight. I thought about the low carb again, but I decided I would give a weeks try to We**ht W***chers on line. Right now, it seems to be a difficult program, and I may stop that membership and do the low carb again. I know it works. I'll update as needed!

Peace.

I'm home

After over a week away, we are back. I really was ready to come back early this time. I have a project that is going to take a lot of time, and I want to be working on it. I should have taken the embroidery machine with me, but I talked myself out of it. I decided I would embroidery an elaborate design on a blanket for the unknown baby that is coming. It is a HUGE design with twenty different colors in it. Each part of the design has at least ten thread changes. I have been working on the ribbons for the diaper cake for the shower on the 17th. Just the embroidery for the two ribbons takes three hours. I'm not finished with that!

We had the first case of someone "inviting" themselves to come to the SSB. The fellow we took before Christmas called and said his deer were processed in Fritztown. He was going to bring the wife and kids, and would like to drop by to visit. We are talking about a five hour drive - one way. I just couldn't let those kids ride for 10 hours. So, we called back for them to spend the night.

I really wasn't looking forward to having guests. K and her brood decided they wouldn't be coming, so I was ready to just relax. Things change. The folks that came were really nice, but . . . I felt really lousy because I went with a neighbor to another town close by. I was not there when they arrived. I'm just a lousy hostess, but I had wanted to take that trip for months. I wanted to find that really neat fabric shop. Things went well though - I guess.

The girls, nine year old twins, were so very shy and sweet. They are fraternal, but the resemblance is striking. The mother is a step mother to another of D's daughters. She is 16 and pregnant. She announces how much she hates her step mother. This is so much like K's situation.

Today I won't be able to work on the project until this afternoon. I'm going with K for moral support. Doodle Bug was born with poor teeth. At 18 months, she has to have the front two capped. It is going to be difficult for them both. The dentist assured K that DB's teeth are genetic. They developed intrauterine. There was nothing they did wrong. All the kids in the family have poor teeth. It was not enough to make her feel better though.

Our weather is lousy - again. It is cold and rainy. When we left the SSB, we had ice on the troop carrier. It wasn't until we got close to the Capitol City that it finally stopped forming, although the thermometer inside said there was still ice. But like most times in Texas -just wait a few minutes. The weather will change. It is supposed to be warm again tomorrow! So goes our winter. It can be 80 one day and 30 the next!

Peace.

A lull

We dined with family on Christmas Eve at K and S's. Christmas day I managed to prepare a really good "fake" crown of pork roast. The local grocery didn't have the correct pork loin to make the real thing, but the fake one was really quite good.

Yesterday I ventured out to the local pharmacy to buy a container for some cookies to give MIL. We are going to have to go to the Capitol City on our way to the SSB. Her birthday is the 29th, but it was decided that tomorrow would be a better time to get together. I found a little container that resembles Chinese take out. I would give her more of the cookies Lady Bug and I baked, but she is not appreciative anyway. So, . . .

We were going to the SSB today, but since it will just be G and me (well Simone too), we will save some driving and just go tomorrow. That means I will not be around here for about a week. The dial up just doesn't cut it,

I considered taking my big sewing/embroidery machine, but it is so heavy.Taking it also means taking a lot of associated things - like fabric. I think I will be able to find enough to keep me busy though.

Hope the rest of your holidays are great. See you around the 6th.

Peace.

That's done

Our marathon of cookie making has ended with only two sets of clothing and one chair being the only sacrifices.

LB manned two pastry bags yesterday to decorate her sugar cookies. I decided that ordinary liquid food coloring was not sufficient for coloring icing. So I bought the jell type. Boy that stuff is strong.

We set about making the sugar cookies yesterday morning. I mixed the batch and located the various cookie cutters. The problem was that LB is a little slow in choosing the cutters. The dough was very buttery rich. Add slow choosing and butter rich and you get dough that is not as easily handled as it could be. She also wanted to put the cookie cutter in the very middle of the dough. I tried to explain how to place the cutters to utilize the one rolling as much as possible. That was a concept that seemed to elude her. The dough made several trips to the freezer between rollings.

We got the cookies into the oven. The first ones almost burned to a crisp. The recipe called for a 400 degree oven for ten minutes. Whoa - too high and too long. We got the temperature lowered and all the cookies baked off.

By that time it was lunch time. I took her to our favorite Tex-Mex fast food place. I was lingering over the last of the nachos, when she announced that she was finished and ready to decorate the cookies.

I stalled as long as possible, then began tinting the frosting. Taking a tip from Sandra Lee and Semi-homemade, I had bought prepared frosting. I put some into two mixing bowls and tinted one a deep green and the other a fairly deep red. I left some uncolored explaining that this could be the "base frosting" on the cookies. That idea was quickly discarded.

I loaded two pastry bags with the tinted frostings. I showed her how to twist the bags and where to push. She immediately grabbed one in the middle and squeezed. We went over how to do it again, and she was really good. I, foolishly, left her to her own devices. This was her thing.

After a bit, she told me she was out of red icing. I came in and the pastry bags were extruding icing from the filling end. I was clearly reminded that her 8th birthday is next month! This was clearly something that required more supervision.

It all ended fairly well. I realized that I had red icing on my shirt. When I was going to clean up the bags, there was so much icing left in them that my hands were surprisingly red. Clearly the red coloring is much stronger. She had red and green on her shirt, and some red on her jeans.

All in all, the cookies are cute, and she is proud. She made three rocking horse cookies for Doodle Bug since DB is getting a rocking horse for Christmas. When I told her mother she was thinking of DB, her mother was touched. She asked if LB remembered Monkey Boy with dedicated cookies, I said no. When I told LB that, she said he could have the bells because he is a "ding-dong."

She was with me for 24 hours, and she wanted to stay longer. I felt she really needed to go home, so she went. It was fun though. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful granddaughter.

Peace.

Ended up busy

Yesterday, I thought LB had changed her mind about coming to bake cookies. I had all but given up when the phone rang, and a little voice said "Grandma, can I come to your house?" What a question! Of course.

It seems the excuse her dad gave was Doodle Bug fell asleep on him and he couldn't move. Now they got back from breakfast with his loser friend about 9:30. LB called at 2. I know DB doesn't sleep that long.

Anyway, I had already made a couple of simple batches of cookies. So when she got here, we made three more things. During the afternoon, she said she would like to sleep over. So that's what she did. She knew she didn't have to depend on her parents to get here this morning. Of course, she is still asleep, but that's OK.

We were going to make the marshmallow/corn flake wreaths. She couldn't wait. About half way through, she was sorry we did that particular treat. Her mom remembers us making them during her childhood. I don't and am really surprised that I don't. I just hope I remember what a mess they are the next time I get a wild hair.

Today we make the sugar cookies and decorate them. I know as soon as her eyes open, that will be the first thing on her mind. I need to set about finding the cookie cutters and assorted things.

I didn't get pictures yesterday of the gifts. I will try to get them sometime before Christman Day.

She's up - so it's off the make the cookies.

Peace.

I've been very good, Santa

Yes, I've been a very good little elf! I have been embroidering and sewing my little fingers to the bone for the past couple of days. I made Lady Bug a pink apron with little cupcakes embroidered on it to go with her little cupcake maker that Santa is bringing her. Then I set about making insulated bread basket liners for daughter and daughter in law.

As for LB's apron, I will never, ever make that pattern again. It is cute, no doubt about that, but I didn't realize how significant the 1/4 inch binding was to that pattern. It was supposed to be everywhere. I tbought it was just trim. Nope it practically held the thing together.

My problem with that binding is that no matter how meticulously I tried to make sure the fabric was caught, there would be places it didn't catch. I would go back, rip out that seam, try again, and by golly, it still didn't catch. I almost wore out one of the pockets because I ripped that seam out so many times. Finally I decided that I could spend the remainder of my life on that apron if I continued to put the binding on all the seams. I just went about constructing the apron pretty much as I know how to make garments. Besides, it is a kid's apron. It won't be worn that much and won't be inspected that closely.

The bread basket liners really turned out rather cute. All I had was instructions that I downloaded from the internet. I had to make the pattern and all. My craft room has precious few flat surfaces that don't have some type of implement on them. Being basically lazy, I tried to make the pattern pieces I needed as I went in just inches of space. Let's just say that some of the pattern pieces I drew were a tad skewed. My liners don't look like the picture that much, but they are rather cute, and I'm thinking of making myself one. They only took the afternoon yesterday - about 6 hours for the two of them. Comparing to the apron - about the same time. I felt a lot more productive with the liners!!

Today and probably tomorrow, LB and I will be making cookies. I hope she has more patience this year because we are not doing the slice and bake. I have told her we will be making them from scratch, and I have chosen about 8 recipes. I also told her last night that I would be teaching her how to measure the ingredients, and how to put them in the mixer. She will be taking a more active part. We'll see how that goes. I'm not holding out much hope, but you never know. She is almost 8, and she should be able to handle what I am going to give her.

I will try to get picture of the sewn goods to post. It is too late today. I don't want LB to see them, and she will be here before too much longer.

Peace.

Life in the little towns

I was visiting over at Rana's place this morning. She was posting about errands and visiting. She was remembering how when she would run errands in Little Town, the errands would take such a long time because you simply had to visit with folks.

I completely understand this. When we go into town when we are at the SSB, we also end up visiting with everyone. It is so amazing because we didn't grow up there unlike Rana. We are relative newcomers even though G's mother grew up there. We don't face the scrutiny a lot of new faces get because we have roots there. But even so, these people are warm and accepting of everyone - even those foreigners who didn't grow up there.

When we first would go to that area, we didn't have our own house. Far from it. At that time, we didn't have the land. It was still one large parcel. We would go - G would go out hunting twice a day. I didn't think it was safe for me to take the vehicle and make the 45 minute trip to town with him out. That only left mid-day. That didn't work either. Most of the city closes and rolls up the sidewalks at noon.

So I would sit, huddled in the house with one television channel, either grading papers (which were the bane of my existence) or working on some craft project or another. All this while, trying to appease bored children. It was just so much fun. It's no wonder that I finally decided that I really didn't like being there.

Add to this was the fact that we stayed in MIL's house. She is definitely OCD. Everything had to be absolutely perfect, and she certainly deemed me far from perfect. So I would work myself silly trying to keep things even better than when we arrived.

To say we didn't know anyone is an understatement. Now the place is surrounded by relatives, but at that time, there was only one who lived out there on a full time basis. To get to Ruby's house, you had to follow what was euphamistically called a road. It actually was a game trail that followed a dry creek. How in the world this older woman traversed that trail even once a month was asurprise to me, but I know she was on it at least once a week - to church!

We ventured down to Ruby's once. That was enough for me. I was clearly surprised we made it there and back. Now the road has been moved so that it is out of the creek bed. That was probably partially due to the fact that her grandson started a "hunting lodge" which is being generous. But he did have hunters frequenting the place.

Now there are four sets of full timers living there. We visit with them regularly when we are there. We are members of the communty club. We go into town often. We even venture over to the other wide spot in the road (which is larger in actuality than the one closest) much more often. We go to that church when we can, and it has a store that we frequent for corn and their delicious hamburgers!

I never thought I would feel so comfortable up there. The comfort level grows with each visit we make. Being around relatives - both close and distant - is a wonderful thing. It is such a contrast to living here in Swampland.

So now we are planning a New Year's Eve with our true friends at the SSB. Hope yours will be good too.

Peace.

The time has come

For the last two years, I've found excuses, one after another, for not getting rid of the clutter in my house. I could still come up with two very good ones, but the time has come to pay the piper. I am having a guy come out to measure for those new blinds.

Usually, I just don't have people come into my house. I find one excuse or another to get around that. Today, I'm sunk. He will have to move the couch to measure the windows. It hasn't been moved in two or more years. When the robot runs, it pushes more things behind it.

We have been trying to get an electrician out to run power to our little out building that was put in last year. During this time of year, we put our tender plants in it and call it a greenhouse. It doesn't happen often, but when the weather does get really cold and stays that way for a couple of days, the plants don't do well. We have to put a small heater in with them. It holds the temperature just above freezing and saves them.

The electrician finally came out today. I had asked for a plug on the back of the house so that we could have the fountain plugged into an outlet instead of using an extension cord. So safe and so lovely, you know! He looked at the back of the house, and then suggested coming from inside.

I paled at that idea. Going into my bedroom! Gads. It is a total wreck. Fortunately there is no plug on that outer wall, and when he suggested coming from the attic, I knew that was not going to be worth the money.

My problem is very simple. I hate housework. I can always find something that is so much more fun to do. I keep thinking the solution would be to get the house in shape, then have someone come in at least once a month to do the heavy stuff. That is getting to be a problem too. Ah yet another perk for getting older.

Perhaps some day I will get things done. As for now I need to tackle the Christmas tree who sits there without a single ornament on it because it decided that it would be fun not to light this year. I'm still trying to fix that. Guess the cleaning will have to wait for another day.

Peace.

Question

I don't know if I still have chemo brain, menopause brain, anesthesia brain or if I'm just flat old, and becoming demented. Apparently I can't read a calendar anymore! I know that when you age, time flies but this is getting ridiculous.

I am fully aware of the fact that today is December 17. My daughter's birthday is tomorrow. I know, at least intellectually, that her birthday is one week before Christmas. I usually try to get all my shopping done way before this, but here I sit with the realization that I still have three gifts to buy. I don't have presents for daughter, son in law, and daughter in law. These are not easy ones either!! Now add the fact that I HATE to shop and I HATE crowds, I guess I'm in a world of hurt.

I seem to have this problem with the calendar all the time now though. For the most part, I pay my bills through direct payments - either drafts or hitting the credit card. I do have to pay the pool man directly though. His bill comes about the 15th and is due on the 1st. I think there is a big chunk of time there, and before I know it the bill is past due! I'm glad he is understanding.

So now I am here with the real need to get out to get this stuff done, but I am waiting for the electrician to call (again because he "forgot" last week, and G has decided that our Christmas present this year should be new blinds (and yes, we really need them).

I had thought I would make the girls bread baskets with embroidery inserts that have the insulated batting in them. I guess I could still do that, but there is still the problem of getting the baskets! I know what S would like, but I still have to go out to get them. He loves my silicon baking sheet liners, and I was going to get him some. Same problem. Should have been ordering way before this.

I ordered Lady Bug's gift last week. One item I ordered for myself (really the house) came yesterday. I really hope hers gets here - like soon. I wasn't going to do the internet thing this year because when we are out of town, I worry about the packages piled up on the porch. That happened last year - a lot.

I suppose the answer is to really use my daytimer. I have it to remind myself of doctor's appointments. I guess I should use it daily and put reminders in it of what need to be done.

Getting old is not for the weak. The problem is that I forget that I am getting old!

Peace

And it's not even winter yet

Ok, I spoke about the snow last week. They we returned to the normal balmy weather that is usual for this area.

We packed up to go to the SSB. A friend went with us. He needed to get away for a while, and G invited him to hunt. I think the separation was good for him and his wife. They had gone through a really rough time with his teenaged daughter from another marriage. It was really brutal.

Saturday the winds were about to blow us off the mountain. The hurricane here had nothing on those winds. Sunday the winds stopped for about 8 hours. Then they began again. The temperature reached 82 that afternoon.

We watched the news from the Capitol City. The weather was forecast to get cool. The temperature at 9:30 was predicted to be 42 in that city. That presents a unique problem to me with the thermostat at the house. The house holds heat very well. So sleeping required some cooling. But if it is going to get that cold, well that's another problem all together. I really have to watch the heat because it can become oppressive.

So we went to bed with me thinking I had turned the air conditioner off and just had the fan to the unit running. About 4 a.m., I realized that it was cold in the house. I got a flashlight and went to turn on the heat.

At 8, the house was boiling. But I didn't know what the temperature was outside. When I got up and looked at the thermometer, it was 28!!

We have a saying "if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes." There is truth to that - especially at the SSB.

I am sitting here in Swampland right now. Our low was only about 34, but it is past midday, and the temperature is 45. It has been overcast all day. I am sitting here freezing at this point. But all we have to do is wait. By Saturday, the temperature will be approaching 80 again.

I do wonder what the real winter holds for us though.

Peace.

Crazy

That's the only way I can explain our weather this year. Of course, we Texans have a saying: "if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes." I'm sure that could apply to other states as well, but it really is true of Texas.

Our current situation began Tuesday with a wind shift. It was balmy and warm until about mid afternoon. Then the winds shifted, and how! They were blowing at about 30 mph. K told me she was putting out the recycling. Monkey Boy was with her. The winds suddenly shifted and began blowing. He had not witnessed our Texas Blue Northers before. She said his eyes got as wide as they would go. He couldn't figure out what was happening to him. His only words were "tornado."

With that wind came the cold. Yesterday it did not get above about 47 all day. Late in the afternoon, K called me and said that she could swear it was snowing. I looked out, and at first, I didn't see anything. Then the flakes got much larger and falling much faster.

Yep, Swampland had snow. That isn't a big deal in most of the country. Snow happens. But here on the gulf coast it is a rare phenomenon. Our last snow was Christmas Eve of 2004, and the one before that I don't remember. This is the earliest that I can remember, but then with menopausal brain, chemo brain, and anesthesia brain all rolled into my head, I don't remember much!

Snow around here is a disaster. It didn't really have an effect on last nights rush hour. It didn't stick. But this morning we woke to find that the areas more to the east got three inches. Then it got to sit on the overpasses all night - and freeze. The traffic accidents were frequent and many. We just don't deal with this well.

So, the score around here is weather - 2, people - 0. First we are hit with Ike. People are still recovering from that. The most severe damage was to, of course, the eastern parts. Where was the snow. Naturally. I am worried about some of those folks. As of two nights ago, there were many still living in TENTS! Living in a tent in 30 degree weather with snow! No way, but I guess they had to manage.

I really worry about what the rest of the winter. I think we will have more really abnormal, severe weather. And they say there is no climate change? Our rainy season hasn't been. We had a major hurricane. Now it looks like a real bear of a winter. Not weather as usual. Anyway . . .

Peace.

Searching

Searching the internet for items that are needed is really a great thing - if you can think of just how those things might be listed on said internet.

I really, really hate shopping. The older I get, and the worse my knees get, the more I hate shopping. There is a direct correlation there. I tend to do most of my shopping on line, and thus far, I have been lucky. I get what I want.

Sunday while we were hawking out wares, I bought a salt lamp from another vendor (see Monday, December 8). I brought my prize home. I didn't buy it for its reported health benefits. They are supposed to "delete negative ions" - a claim I can neither believe nor doubt. I plugged in my beautiful salt crystal. The thing weighs about seven pounds. I turned the switch, and nothing happened. Well.

So I assured G that I really didn't believe the vendor was out to cheat my, and I still don't. I didn't realize I had an information booklet with the lamp. It fell to the floor without me seeing it. I decided to write the company via email asking if I could buy another light fixture from them. This thing is only a night light bulb in a socket that fits into the crystal. They got right back to me. Their response was that I could find said fixture at any hardware store.

Hummm. That would mean that I would have to go to said store and try to find someone to help me. They suggested I take that part with me to match it. I didn't like that idea, so I turned to my browser. What do I put in? Finally, I decided that searching for "lamp making supplies" would be just the ticket. My dad used to make lamps. In the 70's big, tall lamps were all the rage. So he would take all sorts of things to stack to make lamps. He even drilled into glass vases.

That worked rather well, but when I would get into the site I had some trouble narrowing my search. I finally found the right site, found the right verbage, and ordered the right part (I hope!!). Now I sit and wait for the mail to bring me my socket to put into my beautiful salt crystal.

As for the health benefits - I'll let you know!

Peace

Remembering

My father in law died a year ago yesterday. He was such a fine man. He was loving and fair to all the grandchildren. That statement carries an important thought. When my kids were growing up, their grandmother was not fair and loving to all the grandchildren. The girl cousins are three months apart and the boys are two weeks apart, so obviously, they are the same age.

She had her absolute favorite. That was K's cousin E. She looks like their aunt, who is grandma's baby girl. The second in the running was M. My kids were also rans. Holidays were spent in the Capitol City. The trips to Swampland were few and far between.

We all miss father in law greatly.

Mother in law stayed in the Alamo City until just before Thanksgiving. She did move into independent living, but she was alone in Alamo City. That was brought home to her big time when she was whisked to the emergency room. But more than that, she lamented that no one came to see her. Now by "no one" she was referring to us. The same ones that she never bothered to come to see, and were at the end of her favorites list.

She has moved to assisted living in the Capitol City now. We all said that we could visit more if she moved there. Well, it is still difficult. But G and I went by to see her the Monday after Thanksgiving. I didn't think it would have affected me. It did. Greatly.

As we were walking up to the door, there were about 10 rocking chairs clustered around the doorway for the smokers. It was the same where my dad was. My stomach lurched with the memory. I was so glad it was really chilly that day so we didn't have to walk the gauntlet of those old folks sitting, rocking and smoking.

When we went in to sign in, I was struck at just how much these assisted living places are all alike. Sure, this one is two floors with an elevator, but it was just like the one dad was in. When we stepped into the elevator, tears came to my eyes. I missed my dad so much then - as I really do much of the time.

I think from now on, G can go in to visit. I think I need to stay with Simone in the car.

Peace.

I call it a success

We (K and I) did a craft show yesterday. I really thought we wouldn't sell a thing. With the economy as it is, people just aren't in to buying crafts. Since we live in this little city, we don't have to pay for a space so we would only be out the gasoline (perhaps a 20th of a gallon) and the exertion of setting up our tables and stuff.

Admittedly, we do live in an upper middle class area. Most people here aren't as strapped for cash as a lot of other people, but since Swampland's economy is based on oil and gas, it those prices keep dropping, people will begin to feel the pinch. Right now, we have been rather recession proof, but I'm not sure that will last. '

Anyway, we were really surprised. We did as well as anyone else, and far better than others. Some folks didn't sell a single item. Many closed up early, but we decided we weren't in any hurry. We did some business right at the end of the time.

We had fun though. People are so interesting to watch. Last weekend, we harvested some mistletoe at the SSB. Last year, K, Lady Bug and I tied it up with red and green ribbon that was so cute. We brought it all back home. Of course, the weather last year was horrible. Cold and rainy. This year, I decided that I would just put it in baggies. I really only wanted to charge 50 cents for it, but we include sales tax in our prices so that we can round off to the nearest dollar. We don't have that kind of change. G suggested we label it $1 or free with purchase. What a sales trick. One teen girl wanted the mistletoe. When she saw it would be free with purchase, she decided to look for a necklace. A little flawed logic to be sure!

K and I had a nice afternoon out on a beautiful sunny, cool day in the park. She found a cross from another vendor, and I found a very unusual Himalyan salt lamp from another. SUccessful? Yes, although I think we may have just broken even!

Peace.

Success

The party was good for the most part. My Southwest Shepherd's Pie was a hit. It got rave reviews. I won a prize - a piece of applique software. I don't really know how to use that kind of software, but I guess I'll learn.

The attendees were from three clubs, so there were a lot of people I didn't know. Just before the party began, a little man about forty appeared in the doorway. I had never seen him before. Then he said "Merry Christmas." I knew right then. He was profoundly retarded. A lot of the women knew him and addressed him by name. He was David.

He disappeared for a while. I thought he might be employed by the business, and he had to return to his job. After a bit, he was back. Then I realized he was with his mother. A woman behind me said that she saw he won a prize for his apron in the contest the store held last month. She said she also had won. I really was surprised at that.

David then took a chair next to me. He began talking about his truck and his Camaro. He said that Santa was going to bring him more presents. He asked if I had a truck. We talked for a while about trucks, comparing colors, sizes, transmissions and so on.

David became my dinner companion. He was a slight little man. He was about 5' 2". His hair had little grey flakes in it. He had thick glasses. He could have been considered good looking if his condition wasn't a factor. Retardation does effect the visage.

He ended up being rather fascinating. His mind was like a five year old. I could have been talking to Monkey Boy. He was complete stream of consciousness in his conversation. We would sit in silence for a while, then a thought would hit him. It was straight to the mouth. It was really cute, and he was really sweet.

He wanted to show me his apron. He didn't get to. Our party had gone on so long. While he and his mother were participating in the ornament exchange, I retrieved my casserole dish and left. It wasn't until I was half way home that I remembered David wanted to show me his winning apron. I'm sorry David!

Peace

Change of plans

We are experiencing another blast of what passes for fall in other parts of the country. It is dreary, cool (44 degrees), and a slight wind. In other words, a Texas norther has blown in. The weather reports predicted today to be cold and rainy. So like a good Swamplander, I decided that yesterday was the day to venture out to forage in the local grocery. My plans were to spend today and tomorrow upstairs in the craft room - where is it warmer, and I could get ready for Holiday in the Park on Sunday. That is one of the two craft shows we do.

As I was planning my shopping list, I realized that the sewing club I belong to is having their Christmas party today. I know I have only been attending since September, but I really wanted to go. So I bought the ingredients to make the casserole I had intended to make, and girded my loins to brave the brutal weather today. Well, as usual the weather people missed the boat on the forecast. It is, as I said, overcast and cool, but there is no rain.

I almost feel like I am doing Thanksgiving all over again. How many times do you prepare mashed potatoes at 7:30 am? It is not something I normally do unless it is Thanksgiving. I don't even do it at Christmas. But to make my Southwest Shepherd's Pie that is what I was doing. In a minute I will return to the kitchen to brown the hamburger and throw the entire thing into the oven.

I was thinking about how I was going to get this concoction into the store where we meet. After all, it will still be fairly warm. I remembered my holder for the 9x13 baking dish that I have. I remembered it to be stainless steel or aluminum. Nope. It's silver. It hasn't been used in over five years. Would you like to guess what it looks like? Would you like to guess who doesn't have any silver polish? Would you also like to guess who is going to go ahead and use said device? I am such a slob!

One of the things they will be doing (you noticed I said they) is an ornament exchange. I had visions of running upstairs and quickly stitching an "in the hoop" ornament so I could participate. But these people are serious sewers. I think I'll sit on the sidelines and watch this one. I'm not sure that I would put a $8 - $10 value on what I came up with. If they are not extravagant, I'll participate next year.

Time to cook again. Peace

Second verse

I have not been ill in a good long while. Chemo didn't even make me very ill. This thing that I picked up over Thanksgiving simply will not leave me alone. I thought I was fine on Monday. I thought it was a simple 12 hour bug, but it decided to visit me yet again yesterday. It wasn't as bad, but still . . .

The verdict is out for today. I think I am back to normal, but only time will tell. I just hope it doesn't come by to check in tomorrow. I called B last night, and he is well. So that's good news.

K called yesterday. Among the things she said, and I believe it was really first on her agenda, was she didn't know if they would make the traditional trek to the SSB for New Years. She said that is causes her to be too hard on her children so they won't bother anyone. She made hints at B and C, but she knows they won't be there since C is not going to be able to travel by then.

I really think she was addressing me. I am not allowing Monkey Boy to be an animal in my house anymore. Thanksgiving Day, he did his usual "grazing." He has never been made to sit at the table and eat. In fact, they eat at the coffee table in the den in front of the TV. So he was at least at the table, but sitting side saddle. He was dropping food everywhere. Simone ate the droppings off the floor because I was too lazy to get up to sweep up his mess. I was really tired after cooking dinner. She was sick all day Friday. Monkey Boy actually got in her face once to make fun of her.

When he started eating like that again, B and I made him sit properly at the table to eat. He is never required to mind. Lady Bug is supposed to give him whatever he wants if she has it. He brings golf balls into the house to throw. Nothing is said to him. I have two sliding glass doors and a glass fireplace door. Glass and golf balls don't mix. All that is said about him is "he is just a boy."

I had a boy too. He didn't act like that. K was always accusing me of getting on her rather than B. Well, you stab your brother with a pencil . . . I did discipline B. I didn't excuse his actions with him just being a boy. She says that when B and C have their baby, they will see why she is the way she is. No. They have the same ideas about child raising that I did. Children want to be disciplined.

That was the most obvious when I was the Educational Therapist at an in-house unit for mentally disturbed children. We would discipline them. It was behavior modification. There were strict guidelines for their behavior. They were great - until they went home on a pass. There were no boundaries there. They would come back and act out. On Monday mornings, I always had to check to see who was in seclusion after coming back to the unit and acting out - violently.

I'll step down from my soap box now. Thank you for your attention. I will return to keeping my mouth shut - unless my house is in danger.

Peace

Recap

We pretty much survived four days of togetherness at the SSB. There were nine of us ranging from 64 to 16 months. Fortunately, the weather pretty much cooperated. It was a little cold and very windy, but that still allowed the women to venture into Tiny Town. We had lunch at the new resturant there. They almost have more resturants than any other form of commerce!

Doodle Bug was probably the most irritating being. She really hates the word "no," and reacts by crying. She cried a lot. I think there were times that everyone's patience was stretched to the limit. For instance, just after arriving, G threw a bag with a pint of paint onto the deck. K was helping him unload the truck, and she didn't know to wait until he had gotten everything out before transferring it to the house, so he threw the bag probably being impatient. The can opened. He accused me of opening the paint. I yelled - back - that I wasn't responsible. Things went from there and not nicely. But it ended before I could really react the way I was about to. Let's just leave it that way.

S and K got into it a couple of times. I really don't know what was going on there with the exception of the fact that they have three children. That may have been a good part of it.

C was just miserable with her pregnancy. I can't wait for January and February. She doesn't know what lies ahead of her!

Things were fairly smooth until late Saturday night/very early Sunday morning. G awoke at 2:30. I heard him in the bathroom. I knew he didn't feel well. I thought I was having another attack of indigestion, so I took two of Simone's Pri****k.

A couple hours later, I wasn't feeling well. Then things went to worse. I had a gastrointestinal problem. Details of which will be omitted. Suffice it to say when the kids decided to leave even before breakfast for the five hour trek home, I was not sorry. It was a relief for them to go.

I finally got better, and so did G. We were able to get home without any incidents! I have always worried about getting sick there. And I especially worried about getting sick just before coming home. At least it all ended well.

Just about the time we walked into the house, the phone rang. It was C. She told me B had the same thing. Seems like some evil virus is making the rounds here in Swampland (and beyond, I guess) bacause her best friend had it and so did everyone they had Thanksgiving with.

We just wish we knew who the vector was. We both would like to kick butt. I think only the tip of the ice burg has surfaced. I know C is really worried that she will be next!

Hope you had a great holiday. Peace.