When I picked up the mail from the weekend from the box, one of the first things I saw was an envelope with the medical center return address and logo on it. I didn't think too much about it until I saw it was from the breast center. That took me rapidly back to December 2006. The letter was from the mammography place I used then. It was an abnormal mammogram.
With dread, I opened the envelope. There were two pieces of paper inside. Each was a letter. It was the results of the mammogram and ultrasound. Panic hit me like a tidal wave. I quickly scanned them. It was to report the results as normal. I was so relieved tears came to my eyes. Last year they didn't send letters. I guess they changed their routine. And I am glad. They treated me so very well. Even at the end of the ultrasound, the physician came in to tell me that on a quick inspection, they all looked normal.
I still hate this waiting between oncologist visits though. When I was going through the sheer hell of chemo, I hung on the marker readings much more than my other blood levels. It has been five months since my last visit with Dr Poison. I don't see him until next month. It feels like an eternity.
I think I am worried because my energy level is nothing. I am tired all the time. The other thing that has me concerned it the headache that is with me a lot of the time. I keep thinking the headache is from sinuses. I just don't know. It could be due to my glasses being too far out of date. I don't know but it is there.
The fatigue could be part of what I think is depression. My emotions are all over the place. I break into tears for no good reason. But then, I think my little pink pills that ward off all that nasty old estrogen could be the cause of my mood.
I really do just hate the wait.
Peace.
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