Furthermore . . .

I'm still not completely over my snit, but I am working at it even though it may not seem like it. If I can just get all my feelings out, I think it will help.

I do know that I will never make anything else for C. It really hurt that I spent so long on things. The cake wasn't even mentioned last night - again.

At the shower, her mother was telling me that C has come up with further stipulations on telling the sex of this kid. She wants to be sanely awake before we can know what it is. I think her mother is not going to be present when it is actually born. It sounds like she won't know at birth. Then B is going to follow it as it goes to the nursery for the clean up and stuff. G will stay with C, and we will be the docile little mushrooms in the waiting room sitting on our thumbs while she gathers herself. When she is settled, THEN we will be allowed to know the sex. I am just about to not give a rat's rear.

My friend did come to the shower. I still am hurt that she doesn't initiate phone calls and emails, but I also realize that she leaves her house at 6am to return at 7pm. She also travels, mostly to Louisiana, but also the Netherlands and the Middle East.

As we talked, and we talked a lot, our friendship picked up where is was. I really need to get out of being so egocentric. The world does not and has not revolved around me ever.

The rounds of doctor visits begins tomorrow. They used to be clustered close together, but partially due to dear Ike, they are spread out some. I begin with the cardio tomorrow, then the mammogram on Wednesday. I get a break until Monday when I go to the wonderful experience of the ob/gyn (yipee - I can hardly wait). Then there is a gap before I go to the radiation oncologist. I still wonder why I need to see them. Then, finally, in March I go to the oncologist.

When I was taking chemo, I longed for these days of long gaps between times to see the oncologist. Now I would love to see him monthly. I am really frantic to see what the blood levels are. I want to know that there is not a spike in that chemical that would mean that the cancer is back. But all in due time.

So tomorrow, I will take my beloved sewing machine for its yearly check up. It needs some adjustment I know - especially the automatic threading. The store is on the way to the cardio doc. I am thinking of going to Cir*uit C*ty also. I hate to see them close. I also really want a flat screen TV. Had I kept my mouth shut, G would have thought we need a new set due to the DTV transition. I wouldn't be swimming upstream on this one. But we'll see. Since the wonder drugs for my knees didn't arrive on Saturday, and today is a holiday, we'll see just how far I can get!

Peace.