Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Ya gotta remember it's a PAIN clinic
So I survived. It was tough, and I persevered. I had my monthly appointment at the Pain Clinic. I really believe it is a plan to keep us coming back to THE PAIN CLINIC.
My appointment was for 11:30. I dreaded that time. When they are running behind (I said "when?") I know I will be there for some time.
When I opened the door and saw the teaming mankind in the waiting room, I really should have just left. Forget the pain meds. I have enough for years! But I didn't.
I carefully surveyed the room, noting quickly, there was one chair and a place on the couch that will swallow you up in a millisecond never to be heard from again. I made my way to sign in, and Rosie welcomed me. I should have known the smile on her face was to mask her giggling at my situation - all of our situations!
I signed in and went back to the door and the open chair. In this time a rather large (and I have no room talking)lady had spread out on two seats on the couch. I wasn't going to fight her for that space, plus with my knees I would have to remain on that thing until the block and tackle was located to remove me.
So this office was abuzz with conversations. Most of them were: "and when was your scheduled appointment? OMG."
The nicely dresses lady beside me leaned over. She asked if her name were called while she was outside talking to her boss, would I call her. I, of course, agreed. She worked in Uptown. (You see we have Downtown, Midtown, and Uptown as well as other small cities - to we have to clarify.) I'm sure she didn't want to let us hear the yelling from her boss.
Suddenly they called my name. MY NAME? Above all these others. They will kill me on the way in because they have been waiting. It was just to add a picture to my file, and I was thrust back into the waiting sea of humanity. To wait.
After about an hour has passed, there was movement from our mass. Someone was really called back. There is hope.
In the mean time, two of the patients who look like what I perceived as pain clinic patients found each other and began talking - and going out for a smoke - and talking - and going out for a smoke - and ...
Then a poor guy in a wheel chair and his aide from the nursing home came back in. I though he was sprung, but, oh my gosh, he is back. Then I find out why. He needs public transportation for the disabled to get him. The van was there, but they left because he couldn't get his phone to work.
So they have their phones on SPEAKER, trying to get Metro Lift back.
It was a sad situation for them, but they were calling Metro Lift over and over and over and over at 100,000,000,000,000,000 decibels. Oh please let me get out of here.
The first round of waiting crow had dwindled. Slowly but surely we were getting called to the back. You know that never, never land that all patients wait for. For us, it will be on our gravestones. "She was a patient in the waiting room." But now the second wave of folks were drifting in.
After an hour and a half, I became the anointed. I was called to "the back." My blood pressure was higher than norm. I wonder why? Then I went to a room. The doctor came in right away (surprise of all surprises). I saw him for 10 minutes. Part of that time was discussing the book I am reading.
And so, here I am scheduled for next month, but with a new twist. I will go on Wednesday instead of Tuesday. I will be there for a nerve conduction test. Just as well next time - I don't think any nerves were conducting this afternoon!
Peace be with you.