Body image

A lot of women struggle with problems with body image. I am definitely one of them. I always have and I always will. I’m not trying to make it seem like I am blaming my parents on my problem, but they did have a great deal to do with it. They always made references to me being fat - even when I wasn't .

I decided early on that I would never do that to my children regardless of their body type. K takes after me, which means she takes after my mother. Funny, huh? Mother was on the heavy side too, but never missed a beat to point out that I was "chubby" at six.. B is my father reincarnate. He is tall and thin. But I never said anything about their body types. K has been able to manage well. B doesn’t have to worry unless it’s about putting on weight (oh how I hate that !!).

If you already have body image issues, just get breast cancer. It does wonders to add to your feelings. First you get to have a mutilating surgery. Dr Surgeon did what will hopefully be good later by leaving extra skin, but right now my right breast is a sunken area with a horrible scar down the middle. It is so horrible. I refuse to be seen by anyone but G without the prosthesis.

Now I get to add being bald to my lack of body image. I am not bald yet, but the hair is going fast. I didn’t think it would bother me, but it is. As I have said, I have been wearing a wig for over a year, but there was still something on my head. I think soon there won’t be anything. It is a blow to the old ego.

When I first began this battle, I thought I would be ready for all these changes, but as they occur I wonder if I really am. But then, as with many other things life throws your way, there is nothing to do but accept it and wait until things get better.