Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Growing old not so gracefully

My mother in law has, once again, decided that she needs to go to an assisted living place. She really does. Her spine is badly curved, and she is in constant pain. The pain and the isolation she experiences from that pain has caused her to be very depressed. She has always been an immaculate house keeper, and the house is just too much for her. They only have one bath, and it is a shower/tub. She has trouble negotiating that tub.

A couple of weeks ago, she had my father in law convinced. She had tripped over the puppy in the back yard and broken her wrist. They have to spend hours with that dog in the back yard because he is not house broken. Fortunately it wasn’t worse than that. They were going to give the puppy to G’s sister and move.

My father in law has given it more thought, and he is fighting the move. G’s brother and sister are going to San Antonio tomorrow to take them to visit some facilities, but I just heard from G’s aunt he really doesn’t want to go. And he is using the dog as an excuse to stay in the house.

He loves his house. They have lived there for 53 years. He is attached to it. He takes the puppy on walks twice a day. But what he doesn’t realize is that the neighborhood has changed, and not in a positive way. It is dangerous for him to take those walks, and their house is just waiting for someone to break in.

This situation reminds me of my aunt and uncle many years ago. A druggie broke into their home during the early morning hours. My uncle, like my father in law, was hard of hearing. When my aunt finally woke him, he decided they needed to go out the back bedroom window. It was about 12 feet off the ground. My aunt slipped and fell. She has osteoporosis and broke every bone on her right side.

I can fully understand G’s dad’s not wanting to go to a "nursing home." He told his sister that the kids want to put him there. Well, yes. For his own good. No one is looking for the old depressing nursing home. I know full well that even the brightest facility can be rather depressing, but it is not what his parents had to be in.

As I age more, I know that she same future possible awaits me. If I live long enough, I will not be able to manage on my own. I will also be taken from my home and put into a facility. IO just hope I remember the lessons learned from our parents and go gracefully.

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