Wednesday, September 14, 2005


We are coming up on an anniversary, but not a joyful one. It is one followed by sadness, but there is a little joy left. Bittersweet. It is the anniversary of the wonderful news that both my daughter and daughter-in-law were pregnant due due in July. The images we conjured in our minds were vivid. There would be cousins living close together and being so close in age. What fun they would have together. All of this and in the extended family my niece was due in January, wouldn't that make for fabulous family Christmas times?

Having cousins close in age is not new for this family. My sister-in-law had my niece in September and my daughter was born in December. Our sons were due about the same day, but my son, B, was impatient, couldn't wait. He was a week early. Hers, being her usual luck, was late. So we are familiar with close in age cousins, but we live in different cities.

One of these pregnancies was successful, but the other ended very early. Even at that early gestational age I mourned for the little one we would never know all the while rejoicing for the one would be coming. It was a very hard time. I think my daughter-in-law, C, suffered more than we knew. Outwardly, she seemed to go on and accept it. Deep down I think she resented K's successful pregnancy. I can't blame her. It had to be very painful.

When I was alone with B, I told him his cousin had the same thing happen to her. K was about to deliver Lady Bug when we were at her house for the family Christmas. K was as big as a house, and E seemed to be cheerful about everything. I later learned she had just miscarried. I would only imagine how devastating that Christmas was for her. I believe B related this to C, and I think it helped.

All this happened a couple of years ago. B and C are going to try again. I pray they will be successful. All the women in her family has fertility problems. Only time will tell.

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