I was all set to write about how stupid I am. You see, I thought I had an appointment with Dr Death (the oncologist) today. Nope - it is the 27th. How in the world I wrote today down in my calendar, I don't know. I was wondering why they didn't call to remind me about the appointment yesterday. Now I know.
No - my thoughts are far away from that situation. We took Simone to the vet this morning for her teeth cleaning. We both were apprehensive. She is an old dog. We have had her six years. So anytime there is general anesthesia involved - there are risks.
G wanted to be sure someone was here by the phone all day. So I went on my trip, and then he left for his errands. About 30 minutes ago, the vet clinic called. She is doing well with the anesthesia, BUT. It is always the "but" that gets you. The "but" is that the vet found two tumors on her belly.
Boxers are very prone to skin tumors. I know that. Our first baby, Taz, died of a throat tumor. When we adopted Simone, we knew it was something that they can have. The vet aspirated some cells, and they appear to be mast tumor cells. These can be non cancerous, or - cancerous. So I told her to remove the two. Well, a few minutes ago I got another call. There were two more. One behind the knee, and the other in mammary tissue.
I wanted these off. I want to try to stop any spread. I told them to take them off all the while knowing there will be more and more. Our next question was to send them to the lab or not. We aren't. If they are malignant, we could go to an oncologist. I cannot see her surviving chemo. I don't want to make her absolutely miserable. I would rather try to make her comfortable for the last days of her life.
When you have pets, you know this will happen some day. You will lose them. As much as you want them to be with you forever, you know it won't happen. When we adopted her, it was thought she was already 5-7 years old. I don't think that was the truth. She is old now. We think about her leaving us, but we don't verbalize it - until now. It is facing us now. Understanding the fact she will leave us doesn't make it one bit easier.
Peace.
5 comments:
Oh, this makes me sad. Just thinking about Simone, the phone calls, the decisions, the aching feeling in your heart. :-(
Love on her tonight for me? And, give yourself a big old squeeze right along with it?
And heck, at least you didn't have to go to the doctor today. (looking for a silver lining here?)
Thank you JuJu. As I said - I knew some day. You just don't want THAT some day when it is imminent.
oh that's sad..very sad..I agree with you though..do as much as you can and then let them be comfortable..that's what we did for Annie..its times like this when having a compassionate vet is most important.
Yes, having pets can be very traumatic when they decide to leave us. My first pet as a child was a cat and when I lost it I decided no more. Well, after I got married the first time we had a German shepherd and I left that marriage and had to leave the dog behind. I decided no more. When I married the second time we had rabbits in the house. All three left us, with the last one being 11 years old which is equivalent to a 90 year old person. I did not say, no more, and we replaced that rabbit with these three cats.
I am praying Simone lives a good long life and that it isn't cancer.
I have a dog who is 12, I fear the day he goes.
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