I did run away to the SSB. We hadn't been there since Mothers Day. Staying away is problematic in several ways. You never know what may have happened to the place, and we have been in civilization too long.
Before we left, G talked about how low our electric bill was for the month. That raised fears because we leave the air conditioning on when we are gone (well in the winter the heat is left on too). It gets so hot in the house if we don't the laminate wood floors want to get up are walk out. This isn't a good thing. In the winter, we are afraid the pipes may break.
To say it gets hot there is putting it mildly. I have a rain gauge/thermometer on the back deck. When we got there, about 3:30 Saturday afternoon, the temperature on that thermometer was 105. It is in the sun. Can't track rain if the collector is under something. The thermometer is in that whole set up.
The weekend was good. I really realized that my knees and back are better. I don't know why I realized it there more than here t home, but I did. I could get so much done, and after five years or so of slacking off, the house needed it.
When it is just the two of us, we load the dishwasher daily, but since it takes so long to wash them, we wait until the night before we leave. Don't turn up your nose - the dishes are rinsed, and it doesn't stink! I just hate to use a lot of water up there. We are on a well, and we have to hope that well doesn't run dry. Water is precious in Texas. I was going to say just West Texas, but really it should be considered precious all over the state. We tend to think that when we turn on that faucet, fresh, clean water will come out. It could disappear. Enough soap box.
The reason I mentioned the dishwasher is the thing was put in last year. After about seven loads - both those marathon ones from the two of us to everyday because there are 10+ people in the house. Anyway - when we had people, it quit. In the middle of a cycle, it began to empty and it quit. Dead. Nothing. No lights, nothing.
In that neck of the woods, it is difficult to get a repair person at all, and on the weekend. You have to be smoking crack to believe that. So we just looked at the high capacity, pretty push button dead, $500 dishwasher for months. Until hunting season.
We are so wise (had nothing to do with it) to lease hunting rights to an appliance repair man. Actually father in law did that years ago. Anyway, Andy was there, came over, took the door apart, and found nothing. Zip. Nada. He put it back together, and it ran - beautifully. We really have no idea what was wrong.
But I think I know. That door is not stiff. It flexes. When it flexes, connections loosen. And guess what. We have a big weekend (lots of people in the house) coming in two weeks. It quit again. It was the same thing exactly. But we are gone. We will be gone for 9 days. That 9th day is a Friday - afternoon. We can't get a repairman there (if I find one). So that means even if I get that wonderful person to travel 45 minutes from civilization to trek to us, it has to be on Monday after everyone is gone. Probably someone could come Saturday morning, but we will all be in Tiny Town for Round Up. We will be there early (to set up the craft booth) and leave late (after 3).
He doesn't come right out and say he blames me, but G does blame me for a lemon. I ordered it from a big box store. They delivered (which I thought was a good thing). They didn't install, but SIL said he could do it - and he could. Big box didn't tell me I needed to save the power cord from the old one. That was just the beginning of the problems, but Hunter Andy said there were no problems with the installation. From that beginning, G has blamed me. He thinks if we had someone "professionally" install, it would be working now. When it broke this time he said "that's why I don't like leaving the dishes for three days." Piffel!! HE"S the one that pushes saving water there.
So ends my wonderful weekend. We are grousing at one another. But we are able to stay an extra day on this next trip. Dishes will have to be washed by hand for the crowd, but on Monday, hopefully we can have the bi-annual service on the HVAC AND the dishwasher fixed.
So, there you have it. What I did on my little vacation this year.
Peace be with you.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Computer Wars
As I sit here in my fuzzy state because the physical therapist will be here about 9:30, and I have only had a single cup of coffee, I have to reflect on yesterday"s fiasco.
The lap top has been acting wonky, so I have been trying to salvage web sites, passwords, etc from it before it may expire completely. It was really acting up yesterday, so in my great wisdom, I thought it would be wise to run a scan to try to clean up the hard drive - anything to see if it helps.
My "subscription" to McAssee had lapsed. I wasn't too upset because I have what consider a great firewall, so I didn't re-subscribe. I thought I could use the old program to run a scan on the computer. Guess what? NO, Nope Nada. You haven't rented us again. You just think you own this program. You have only been renting it all these years. If you want to check your computer, pony up the money, sweetheart.
So I did. Then came the download. I didn't sign up for a life time of sitting at my computer, trying to get the program to download. But that's what I did. At first, I couldn't get the program onto my computer. The error message kept popping up that the download couldn't start.
I guess the trojans lurking in the far recesses of the hard drive threatened the little new program. It was too timid to even open. Finally about 5 yesterday, the program downloaded. This after about twenty restarts of the computer.
Last night I went to bed with the killer doing its thing on the computer. It had gotten to about half of the hard drive. Sometime in the middle of the night, the virus killer completed its task. I turned on the computer this morning, and there were the results. There were four items, including of all things a trojan from FIREFOX. Ye Gad, this is supposed to be the safe way to surf the internet. What would I have had if I had been using the terrible Microsoft Explorer. Mmmmmmm, yeah.
So that's what has been going on with this dear little lap top. She is no longer bright and shiny. She sports some information taped to her large keyboard. She has a few dings, I mean after a;ll, she has quite a few miles on her having traveled from here to the SSB and back. But I love her more than the first day. I have proven it by buying her a new lap top cooler. The other one proved to be no where near as sturdy as she.
What a way to waste a good summer afternoon, right? At least I got a lot more of my novel finished by reading while waiting!
Peace be with you.
The lap top has been acting wonky, so I have been trying to salvage web sites, passwords, etc from it before it may expire completely. It was really acting up yesterday, so in my great wisdom, I thought it would be wise to run a scan to try to clean up the hard drive - anything to see if it helps.
My "subscription" to McAssee had lapsed. I wasn't too upset because I have what consider a great firewall, so I didn't re-subscribe. I thought I could use the old program to run a scan on the computer. Guess what? NO, Nope Nada. You haven't rented us again. You just think you own this program. You have only been renting it all these years. If you want to check your computer, pony up the money, sweetheart.
So I did. Then came the download. I didn't sign up for a life time of sitting at my computer, trying to get the program to download. But that's what I did. At first, I couldn't get the program onto my computer. The error message kept popping up that the download couldn't start.
I guess the trojans lurking in the far recesses of the hard drive threatened the little new program. It was too timid to even open. Finally about 5 yesterday, the program downloaded. This after about twenty restarts of the computer.
Last night I went to bed with the killer doing its thing on the computer. It had gotten to about half of the hard drive. Sometime in the middle of the night, the virus killer completed its task. I turned on the computer this morning, and there were the results. There were four items, including of all things a trojan from FIREFOX. Ye Gad, this is supposed to be the safe way to surf the internet. What would I have had if I had been using the terrible Microsoft Explorer. Mmmmmmm, yeah.
So that's what has been going on with this dear little lap top. She is no longer bright and shiny. She sports some information taped to her large keyboard. She has a few dings, I mean after a;ll, she has quite a few miles on her having traveled from here to the SSB and back. But I love her more than the first day. I have proven it by buying her a new lap top cooler. The other one proved to be no where near as sturdy as she.
What a way to waste a good summer afternoon, right? At least I got a lot more of my novel finished by reading while waiting!
Peace be with you.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Practice Driving
The beginning of the day was sleeping late, but that's not interesting!! We slept late because I had an ortho doc appointment. G was going into work later after my appointment.
Ortho guy usually runs on time, but not today. He was running over an hour late. When he came to our room, it was obvious why. His brain wasn't in the office today. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't have any other doctor cutting on me to do total joint replacements! He likes to talk to his patients. What I meant was that Valarie wasn't with him today. She is his right hand man. She takes care of all the little things like scheduling surgeries, keeping him moving, and so on.
Anyway, he asked me to raise my right knee. This was the latest one replaced. I wish you could have seen his face when I was able to raise it almost straight out! He was amazed. But then I have amazed two different physical therapists too. I seem to get over these well.
My big thing was driving. When???? He said that I could do practice driving. What!?! Am I 14 again? That made me think back to when I was doing practice driving. My dad would take me out in the old '53 Ford sedan. It was a stick shift, and the emergency brake was the old "umbrella" sort. For you youngsters, that is one that has a handle on it like an umbrella, and it was located on the right side of the dashboard.
He would take me out to what was at that time far northwest San Antonio. That is the area where the Hill Country began to send it's tendril of small hills into the city. Even small hills looked like the Matahorn to me when I had to stop at the stop sign at the top. I found that all my appendages didn't work together. I had an impossible time pushing on the gas a little while letting out that blasted clutch. So when the motor died (was massacred by me), I would have to pull out the emergency brake, restart the engine, and NOW push the brake in a little, give a little gas, and let the clutch out a little.
I think we spent hours there. The whole time I stayed in San Antonio, there were areas I would stay away from like the plague if I were in a standard shift car. So guess what my first car was - yep, it was a standard. Can you say stupid.
G told the doc he would let me practice drive on county roads this weekend. I know the doc's idea was the nice paved roads around this county - not the rough, unpaved roads around the SSB. But I am going to practice drive on the back roads to Target tomorrow!!
Ortho guy usually runs on time, but not today. He was running over an hour late. When he came to our room, it was obvious why. His brain wasn't in the office today. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't have any other doctor cutting on me to do total joint replacements! He likes to talk to his patients. What I meant was that Valarie wasn't with him today. She is his right hand man. She takes care of all the little things like scheduling surgeries, keeping him moving, and so on.
Anyway, he asked me to raise my right knee. This was the latest one replaced. I wish you could have seen his face when I was able to raise it almost straight out! He was amazed. But then I have amazed two different physical therapists too. I seem to get over these well.
My big thing was driving. When???? He said that I could do practice driving. What!?! Am I 14 again? That made me think back to when I was doing practice driving. My dad would take me out in the old '53 Ford sedan. It was a stick shift, and the emergency brake was the old "umbrella" sort. For you youngsters, that is one that has a handle on it like an umbrella, and it was located on the right side of the dashboard.
He would take me out to what was at that time far northwest San Antonio. That is the area where the Hill Country began to send it's tendril of small hills into the city. Even small hills looked like the Matahorn to me when I had to stop at the stop sign at the top. I found that all my appendages didn't work together. I had an impossible time pushing on the gas a little while letting out that blasted clutch. So when the motor died (was massacred by me), I would have to pull out the emergency brake, restart the engine, and NOW push the brake in a little, give a little gas, and let the clutch out a little.
I think we spent hours there. The whole time I stayed in San Antonio, there were areas I would stay away from like the plague if I were in a standard shift car. So guess what my first car was - yep, it was a standard. Can you say stupid.
G told the doc he would let me practice drive on county roads this weekend. I know the doc's idea was the nice paved roads around this county - not the rough, unpaved roads around the SSB. But I am going to practice drive on the back roads to Target tomorrow!!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Busy, busy, busy
Saturday night started things off. It was SIL's surprise 40th birthday. I decided to make him an apron, so that took up all Saturday afternoon. My machine only embroideries at a rather slow speed.
I was dreading the party because his mother, father, sister and daughter were there. We are just not the same people and we have nothing but the three grandchildren in common. They have done some horrendous things, at least by my way of thinking. I told G I can forgive, but I cannot forget. Yes, I have turned the other cheek, but I keep a wary eye out for the good one. His mother will talk about everyone behind their back, but is just so sweet to their face.
Sunday, we had a rehash of Saturday but only our family. It was nice.
Monday, I had more injections in my back. This time I wanted to not get that horrible headache after treatment. So when I got home, as soon as I had eaten breakfast/lunch, I went to bed. I slept for at least three hours. I awoke to the cable being out. It makes me want to get rid of Comcast even more. I pretty much stayed in bed, but the headache came about 9. It kept me awake until midnight.
I was to go to clinic to get my drugs. That is a trip in itself. I know some of those folks are there just to get the drugs either for a high or to sell them. Most are there for real pain issues though. We waited and waited. My appointment was for 8:30. At 9:15, I was called back. They weren't going to see me. I was supposed to get my meds at the place I got the injections.
The place I get injections, after you once get into the system for the shots, is an assembly line. The anesthesiologist pretty much apologized for the uncomfortable table. He said it was for speed not comfort. Is that ever right. You get on the table, get moved around into the proper position. You get the nasal cannula for oxygen (I HATE that!!!). When you are in the right position the "master" enters, and the relaxation meds hit. Soon sleep happens.
After the "master" has completed his little injections in the spine, you suddenly are awake and asked to roll onto the next stretcher. You are whisked away to the "recovery room" where you are given a cold drink of your choice and a 6 pack package of either cheese or peanut butter crackers. Your vitals are taken a couple of times, and then it's into a wheel chair. You are whisked off to the PT area where you get the (heavenly) heat pack and electrical stimulation. Then whoever is going to pick you up is just outside the door, and you are gone.
There was no time for me to get my meds there. So I had to wait until the afternoon when the shipment from there came down. Wasted day. I had plenty of meds - due to forgetting to take the afternoon meds, and being in the hospital for 5 days.
So, how was your weekend?
Peace be with you.
I was dreading the party because his mother, father, sister and daughter were there. We are just not the same people and we have nothing but the three grandchildren in common. They have done some horrendous things, at least by my way of thinking. I told G I can forgive, but I cannot forget. Yes, I have turned the other cheek, but I keep a wary eye out for the good one. His mother will talk about everyone behind their back, but is just so sweet to their face.
Sunday, we had a rehash of Saturday but only our family. It was nice.
Monday, I had more injections in my back. This time I wanted to not get that horrible headache after treatment. So when I got home, as soon as I had eaten breakfast/lunch, I went to bed. I slept for at least three hours. I awoke to the cable being out. It makes me want to get rid of Comcast even more. I pretty much stayed in bed, but the headache came about 9. It kept me awake until midnight.
I was to go to clinic to get my drugs. That is a trip in itself. I know some of those folks are there just to get the drugs either for a high or to sell them. Most are there for real pain issues though. We waited and waited. My appointment was for 8:30. At 9:15, I was called back. They weren't going to see me. I was supposed to get my meds at the place I got the injections.
The place I get injections, after you once get into the system for the shots, is an assembly line. The anesthesiologist pretty much apologized for the uncomfortable table. He said it was for speed not comfort. Is that ever right. You get on the table, get moved around into the proper position. You get the nasal cannula for oxygen (I HATE that!!!). When you are in the right position the "master" enters, and the relaxation meds hit. Soon sleep happens.
After the "master" has completed his little injections in the spine, you suddenly are awake and asked to roll onto the next stretcher. You are whisked away to the "recovery room" where you are given a cold drink of your choice and a 6 pack package of either cheese or peanut butter crackers. Your vitals are taken a couple of times, and then it's into a wheel chair. You are whisked off to the PT area where you get the (heavenly) heat pack and electrical stimulation. Then whoever is going to pick you up is just outside the door, and you are gone.
There was no time for me to get my meds there. So I had to wait until the afternoon when the shipment from there came down. Wasted day. I had plenty of meds - due to forgetting to take the afternoon meds, and being in the hospital for 5 days.
So, how was your weekend?
Peace be with you.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Confessional
In my religion, we don't have to go to confession. When I was younger, it was part of the liturgy. We would publically confession that we have sinned "by thought word and deed. We have not love you with our whole hearts ..." and so on. This little venue seems to have become a confessional. Sorry, but here comes another confession.
I had hoped fervently that SIL's family would not be in town for this party. I am so bad. I really didn't mean real harm to her, but I was hoping her doctor would tell her she was retaining too much fluid to travel for three hours. Oh how I hoped. I should be so ashamed, and I guess, if truth be known, I am not.
These people are horrible, flat horrible. I am sure I have talked about why I dislike them so, but I have no idea where it might be. They are trying to hide it a bit, but they are for the blood. In other works, my daughter could just disappear, then it would be the true blood for their family - son and grandchildren.
They have behaved so abominably at things that we have hosted they should be embarrassed. But they are so _________, (I can't think of a word that describes them)
I am dreading the party tomorrow. I can't move as quickly as before. I think she will have enough sense to stay away, but with those matching scars on my knee, I'm afraid I am going to be in her sights to talk about illnesses. Oh no!
They are dirt poor They have cell phones with all kinds of texting, and all the other bells and whistles that I don't know about because I still have my little one that will text, but I had that blocked, BIG screens TV, a granddaughter who has clothes she hasn't even put on that lives with them with her mom, - in other words they spend on foolishness - not bills. Their previous solution to be behind on the rent was to move. They called my daughter pretentious because she came from a family who paid their bills, and yet had a few things too. So because she came from a family that paid their bills and managed to have a few things - she was pretentious. But they will happily move the residents from their beds to stay at their house.
I dislike them so. That is not being Christian. I just cannot stand them regardless of everything else. I would have never met people like them in my life - had their son not swept Daughter off her feet. He claims to be embarrassed by them and their actions. He claims to see that he is not treated as well as the others. But, he comes to the fact, as he really should loves them because they are his parents. Daughter just has given up, and she takes them in stride.
I sound like a very low life. I wish I could get over this. I try, and they pull some other stunt that hurts SIL. I have tried and tried. They had hurt and hurt him. I just keep praying for strength to do the right thing.
Peace be with you.
I had hoped fervently that SIL's family would not be in town for this party. I am so bad. I really didn't mean real harm to her, but I was hoping her doctor would tell her she was retaining too much fluid to travel for three hours. Oh how I hoped. I should be so ashamed, and I guess, if truth be known, I am not.
These people are horrible, flat horrible. I am sure I have talked about why I dislike them so, but I have no idea where it might be. They are trying to hide it a bit, but they are for the blood. In other works, my daughter could just disappear, then it would be the true blood for their family - son and grandchildren.
They have behaved so abominably at things that we have hosted they should be embarrassed. But they are so _________, (I can't think of a word that describes them)
I am dreading the party tomorrow. I can't move as quickly as before. I think she will have enough sense to stay away, but with those matching scars on my knee, I'm afraid I am going to be in her sights to talk about illnesses. Oh no!
They are dirt poor They have cell phones with all kinds of texting, and all the other bells and whistles that I don't know about because I still have my little one that will text, but I had that blocked, BIG screens TV, a granddaughter who has clothes she hasn't even put on that lives with them with her mom, - in other words they spend on foolishness - not bills. Their previous solution to be behind on the rent was to move. They called my daughter pretentious because she came from a family who paid their bills, and yet had a few things too. So because she came from a family that paid their bills and managed to have a few things - she was pretentious. But they will happily move the residents from their beds to stay at their house.
I dislike them so. That is not being Christian. I just cannot stand them regardless of everything else. I would have never met people like them in my life - had their son not swept Daughter off her feet. He claims to be embarrassed by them and their actions. He claims to see that he is not treated as well as the others. But, he comes to the fact, as he really should loves them because they are his parents. Daughter just has given up, and she takes them in stride.
I sound like a very low life. I wish I could get over this. I try, and they pull some other stunt that hurts SIL. I have tried and tried. They had hurt and hurt him. I just keep praying for strength to do the right thing.
Peace be with you.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Humph!
OK. I waved the white flag. I gave up, and I needed help. Told Daughter I would appreciate her turning some of the neck coolers. She replied "do I have to pick them up today?" I said no. I didn't think I could possibly turn all 50+ of them alone. Well, I sat down after doing other things that needed to be completed, and I began turning. I did all but one last night, and that one I just did.
So today I will press them, find the opening, stitch the other end shut, pour in the hygroscopic stuff, and stitch out label on that opening. This will certainly take some time, but I will find a rhythm, and then it won't be so bad.
But when she discovers that I have finished, crocodile tears will be in order.
I really feel like the little, red hen. You remember that ol' gal. She did all the work, all the while asking for help. It was only when she completed the task (baking the bread) did she get offers of help - to eat that bread. Well, that's the way it is around here. I ask, hint, whatever for help. There are excuses, then all want to share in the finished product
I told Daughter that during the July 4th holiday I wanted to set up a dry run of our craft set up. We need to get things arranged in a cute way - one that is planned out, not thrown up. How did she sound? Well if you can get into negative inflections, that's where she was. I could hear the wheels turning to find a way to get out of it. She finally said she had a four day weekend then. Who wants to set up a table to guess when I will have help? Those of you who place your bets on never will probably be the big winner, but the pot will have to be split too many ways to make it worth your while.
Why don't I get G to help, you say? Even the sound of fireworks can't cover the emissions of curse words coming from his mouth. If he has to do something that isn't on his list of things to do, he becomes a three old with temper tantrums. That is why I don't ask him for help - ever, and when he wants suggestions on where to go, what to eat, and all the rest, I just say "I don't know." After 43 years I have learned that if it is something he didn't want, be it a place, food, or anything else, he will certainly let me know.
Why don't I ask Son? He's married with a child. Does that answer that question? It should.
So this explains why I do whatever needs to be done; it's just plain easier. I am paying for that. My joints are really showing the result of abuse and over work. They have just given out. It is why I don't ask - I just do.
I have made my life sound miserable. Well, sometimes it is, but then everyone hits a point like that. All in all, I have made this bed, and I will sleep in it. Right now, I can "look forward to" S's parents arriving. We are oil and water. They are, in my estimation, the scum of the earth. Fortunately, my house is a mile away from where they will be. A nice, good mile! I will try to raise my estimation of the in-laws. I shall be praying about my feelings for them. I will be praying for them to raise themselves too, but Ill bet they tell S they need gas money to get back home in San Antonio.
Peace be with you.
So today I will press them, find the opening, stitch the other end shut, pour in the hygroscopic stuff, and stitch out label on that opening. This will certainly take some time, but I will find a rhythm, and then it won't be so bad.
But when she discovers that I have finished, crocodile tears will be in order.
I really feel like the little, red hen. You remember that ol' gal. She did all the work, all the while asking for help. It was only when she completed the task (baking the bread) did she get offers of help - to eat that bread. Well, that's the way it is around here. I ask, hint, whatever for help. There are excuses, then all want to share in the finished product
I told Daughter that during the July 4th holiday I wanted to set up a dry run of our craft set up. We need to get things arranged in a cute way - one that is planned out, not thrown up. How did she sound? Well if you can get into negative inflections, that's where she was. I could hear the wheels turning to find a way to get out of it. She finally said she had a four day weekend then. Who wants to set up a table to guess when I will have help? Those of you who place your bets on never will probably be the big winner, but the pot will have to be split too many ways to make it worth your while.
Why don't I get G to help, you say? Even the sound of fireworks can't cover the emissions of curse words coming from his mouth. If he has to do something that isn't on his list of things to do, he becomes a three old with temper tantrums. That is why I don't ask him for help - ever, and when he wants suggestions on where to go, what to eat, and all the rest, I just say "I don't know." After 43 years I have learned that if it is something he didn't want, be it a place, food, or anything else, he will certainly let me know.
Why don't I ask Son? He's married with a child. Does that answer that question? It should.
So this explains why I do whatever needs to be done; it's just plain easier. I am paying for that. My joints are really showing the result of abuse and over work. They have just given out. It is why I don't ask - I just do.
I have made my life sound miserable. Well, sometimes it is, but then everyone hits a point like that. All in all, I have made this bed, and I will sleep in it. Right now, I can "look forward to" S's parents arriving. We are oil and water. They are, in my estimation, the scum of the earth. Fortunately, my house is a mile away from where they will be. A nice, good mile! I will try to raise my estimation of the in-laws. I shall be praying about my feelings for them. I will be praying for them to raise themselves too, but Ill bet they tell S they need gas money to get back home in San Antonio.
Peace be with you.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
I finally did it. I absolutely have to have help turning those neck coolers. It takes me 20 minutes to turn one, and we have 54 of those little babes to turn. I asked Daughter this morning. Of course, she volunteered yesterday, but never came by to get any. I suggested that Lady Bug would be successful especially with her little fingers, and I would pay her 50 cents from each one sold. Well - as long as they get done.
I am concerned with the left knee (that's the old one). Something in there keeps rolling about. I don't think it should do that. So I am very cautious getting up. That seems to be when there is the most problem, and if I'm not careful from then on, it will snap, crackle, and pop with every movement. after July 10 (Round Up) we can do whatever. So I am keeping my mouth shot.
I have said I would start fixing dinner again. I did it Monday. I was exhausted and in pain Monday night. I don't know if it was one or all of the things I did Monday. I fixed dinner, I cleaned the kitchen, I had gone upstairs, and had PT. All I know is instead of a shower Monday night, I fell asleep in the bed at 9.
I fixed dinner and did part of the kitchen last night. It wasn't so bad. Today I have dinner planned. We'll see how I feel because I also have PT.
If only I had known what life was going to be like at 64. I could have done a lot to help my knees, and in fact I could have helped my entire body. I keep telling Daughter ...
Anyway - peace be with you
I am concerned with the left knee (that's the old one). Something in there keeps rolling about. I don't think it should do that. So I am very cautious getting up. That seems to be when there is the most problem, and if I'm not careful from then on, it will snap, crackle, and pop with every movement. after July 10 (Round Up) we can do whatever. So I am keeping my mouth shot.
I have said I would start fixing dinner again. I did it Monday. I was exhausted and in pain Monday night. I don't know if it was one or all of the things I did Monday. I fixed dinner, I cleaned the kitchen, I had gone upstairs, and had PT. All I know is instead of a shower Monday night, I fell asleep in the bed at 9.
I fixed dinner and did part of the kitchen last night. It wasn't so bad. Today I have dinner planned. We'll see how I feel because I also have PT.
If only I had known what life was going to be like at 64. I could have done a lot to help my knees, and in fact I could have helped my entire body. I keep telling Daughter ...
Anyway - peace be with you
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Just a bunch of stuff
Actually I wanted that title to be a little different, but I'll be nice.
I am really torn by this thing with daughter. It would be easier if she wouldn't make the statement that she would do something then not do it. I could be much happier, and could have been especially when I was stuck in the hospital, if she wouldn't say she would come by. Then she doesn't show. That really is a blow to me. Yesterday, she said she would be coming over after work to leave the d*&m invitation to this "surprise" party (if his family knows about it - SIL knows about it). it so happened G was outside. She was able to remain in the car with Lady Bug, and not come in. Let's see now. I believe the last time I saw her was the Thursday post surgery.
She said she would be helping me with getting the things ready for the "Round Up" craft show. It is the second weekend of July. I still have a lot of things to be done that they want to have. I am torn. I KNOW she has three kids, she works full time, she is working for this party (and the OCD doesn't help there), and then there's me. So I feel like warmed over dog doo to complain, although it is only here, about it all.
In brighter news, I suddenly realized that in December of this year, it has been five years. Five years is quite a landmark for cancer people. Survival rates are based on five years. Well, if nothing happens - I will join the ranks of a five year survivor. OK!
In my email today, there was a surprise. My email service will only let those through that are in my mailbox, but it will have a suspicious email section. Many emails are just trashed without me ever seeing them, but these are nicety put into a folder. I go through that folder. Today there was one with only a name. There was no subject, but I opened it anyway. The name was a good old German name. G and I are both German. I always thought it was more German than I because I suspected I wasn't . Well he is only 1/2 German, while I am about 3/4.
With trepidation, I opened that email. It was from a young woman who read my genealogy for one of G's family that I posted on line. She wanted to thank me for the work, and to give me more information about her family. A lot was left out, but people who don't do the work don't know what all we would like to have. But this was wonderful! I was so thankful for the information.
The progress with this knee is not what I hoped for. I think I pushed it too much, but seriously, I don't think the right knee would have lasted too much longer. I prepared dinner last night. By 9, I was in so much pain, and I was so tired, I just wanted to be in bed. So I was. I am going to prepare dinner again tonight. We'll see.
I am looking seriously for the higher road right now. I know there is one around. I just need to find it. Mean while I will be sewing step one of 5 in the neck coolers for Round Up.
Peace be with you.
I am really torn by this thing with daughter. It would be easier if she wouldn't make the statement that she would do something then not do it. I could be much happier, and could have been especially when I was stuck in the hospital, if she wouldn't say she would come by. Then she doesn't show. That really is a blow to me. Yesterday, she said she would be coming over after work to leave the d*&m invitation to this "surprise" party (if his family knows about it - SIL knows about it). it so happened G was outside. She was able to remain in the car with Lady Bug, and not come in. Let's see now. I believe the last time I saw her was the Thursday post surgery.
She said she would be helping me with getting the things ready for the "Round Up" craft show. It is the second weekend of July. I still have a lot of things to be done that they want to have. I am torn. I KNOW she has three kids, she works full time, she is working for this party (and the OCD doesn't help there), and then there's me. So I feel like warmed over dog doo to complain, although it is only here, about it all.
In brighter news, I suddenly realized that in December of this year, it has been five years. Five years is quite a landmark for cancer people. Survival rates are based on five years. Well, if nothing happens - I will join the ranks of a five year survivor. OK!
In my email today, there was a surprise. My email service will only let those through that are in my mailbox, but it will have a suspicious email section. Many emails are just trashed without me ever seeing them, but these are nicety put into a folder. I go through that folder. Today there was one with only a name. There was no subject, but I opened it anyway. The name was a good old German name. G and I are both German. I always thought it was more German than I because I suspected I wasn't . Well he is only 1/2 German, while I am about 3/4.
With trepidation, I opened that email. It was from a young woman who read my genealogy for one of G's family that I posted on line. She wanted to thank me for the work, and to give me more information about her family. A lot was left out, but people who don't do the work don't know what all we would like to have. But this was wonderful! I was so thankful for the information.
The progress with this knee is not what I hoped for. I think I pushed it too much, but seriously, I don't think the right knee would have lasted too much longer. I prepared dinner last night. By 9, I was in so much pain, and I was so tired, I just wanted to be in bed. So I was. I am going to prepare dinner again tonight. We'll see.
I am looking seriously for the higher road right now. I know there is one around. I just need to find it. Mean while I will be sewing step one of 5 in the neck coolers for Round Up.
Peace be with you.
Friday, June 11, 2010
been a while!
I'm still around, and getting better everyday. My knee is stronger with less pain. Its easier to get up from, well, only the bed. That isn't good. Every single stick of furniture in my den is just a scootch too low. But then this is something I hate to face, but it is getting more and more evident. I think I am having a problem with knee number 1. When I see the doctor in about two more weeks, I am going to tell him about it. Sometimes, it pops and sounds like something is loose in there. You can hear it, and I certainly feel it.
But on to different things. Daughter and I now have en elephant in the room. The elephant is last weekend when I didn't hear from her. I really think she thinks she is right, but in her heart knows she isn't. So we just go on and haven't mentioned it. I have asked her nothing about it when I know there is a lot to tell: step-daughter's high school graduation, her MIL in the hospital, the general drama that goes on in that house. Oh well.
I have found a way to shut up phone solicitors. When they are cheery and bright asking how I am, I just say not so good. They are at first confused because this isn't on their script. Then they stammer and apologize. Too funny.
I have an at home PT therapist. She is so bright and bubbly on the phone that I, at first, thought this would be a bad thing. She also has a very thick accent. With my brain on drugs, it doesn't translate well. So I had this preconceived idea before she came. I was expecting the worse. Actually the sessions have been good. She is very aware of my back problems, and works around that. So far, it is good. The bug in this is that she can come until I am able to drive, then it is over. That is both bad and good. She can be discontinued, and I can go back to the therapist at the pain office. Either way I win.
I just completed the cutting out of the neck coolers we are going to have for the July craft show. Next is the sewing and putting the water holding gel into them. Daughter has volunteered. We'll see. I have my small machine downstairs since all I have to do is straight seam sewing. I am itching to get upstairs though to work on the towels and other things.
Hope your weekend is great. I hope you either wear yourself having fun or get the rest and relaxation you need!
Peace be with you.
But on to different things. Daughter and I now have en elephant in the room. The elephant is last weekend when I didn't hear from her. I really think she thinks she is right, but in her heart knows she isn't. So we just go on and haven't mentioned it. I have asked her nothing about it when I know there is a lot to tell: step-daughter's high school graduation, her MIL in the hospital, the general drama that goes on in that house. Oh well.
I have found a way to shut up phone solicitors. When they are cheery and bright asking how I am, I just say not so good. They are at first confused because this isn't on their script. Then they stammer and apologize. Too funny.
I have an at home PT therapist. She is so bright and bubbly on the phone that I, at first, thought this would be a bad thing. She also has a very thick accent. With my brain on drugs, it doesn't translate well. So I had this preconceived idea before she came. I was expecting the worse. Actually the sessions have been good. She is very aware of my back problems, and works around that. So far, it is good. The bug in this is that she can come until I am able to drive, then it is over. That is both bad and good. She can be discontinued, and I can go back to the therapist at the pain office. Either way I win.
I just completed the cutting out of the neck coolers we are going to have for the July craft show. Next is the sewing and putting the water holding gel into them. Daughter has volunteered. We'll see. I have my small machine downstairs since all I have to do is straight seam sewing. I am itching to get upstairs though to work on the towels and other things.
Hope your weekend is great. I hope you either wear yourself having fun or get the rest and relaxation you need!
Peace be with you.
Monday, June 07, 2010
Strange, strange thoughts
As usual, I am writing like Monkey Boy speaks - stream of consciousness. So it will be a case of hanging on!
I never, never thought these words (actually thoughts for words) would come to my mind. I might like to move to the SSB. It is about 340 miles from here - that translates to 5 - 6 hours drive.
Why do I want to do that? Well, even if the closest neighbor is a mile away, those folks are closer than the ones here! I'm tired of being lonely.
Daugher used to be closer to me than she is now. I know her kidlets are getting older, but she doesn't do as much with them to account for the difference in our relationship. Her calls are fewer and fewer, unless SIL is gone. Then she is on the phone with me all the time.
They went to San Antonio this weekend. She had not called until almost family dinner time last night. I was asleep, and G didn't wake me. Go G!
I know I am emotional right now. I know I shouldn't be this way. I should be happy with the calls I get. Son has been stepping up his calls. That makes me happy.
I guess I am turning into one of those selfish old women.
Sorry I made you read this mess.
Peace be with you.
I never, never thought these words (actually thoughts for words) would come to my mind. I might like to move to the SSB. It is about 340 miles from here - that translates to 5 - 6 hours drive.
Why do I want to do that? Well, even if the closest neighbor is a mile away, those folks are closer than the ones here! I'm tired of being lonely.
Daugher used to be closer to me than she is now. I know her kidlets are getting older, but she doesn't do as much with them to account for the difference in our relationship. Her calls are fewer and fewer, unless SIL is gone. Then she is on the phone with me all the time.
They went to San Antonio this weekend. She had not called until almost family dinner time last night. I was asleep, and G didn't wake me. Go G!
I know I am emotional right now. I know I shouldn't be this way. I should be happy with the calls I get. Son has been stepping up his calls. That makes me happy.
I guess I am turning into one of those selfish old women.
Sorry I made you read this mess.
Peace be with you.
Friday, June 04, 2010
Goin' through a phase
Right now I am feeling sorry for myself. I think it comes from the fact that I have had my wings cut - for about three weeks.
I eagerly told the folks at the hospital that I certainly did have someone to help my when I got home. Just who in the hell did I think that was? G has been late everyday, and is considering "working late" next week which means 7pm rather than 5:30.
So, here I sit.
Sorry to be such a downer. Just a phase I guess.
Peace be with you.
I eagerly told the folks at the hospital that I certainly did have someone to help my when I got home. Just who in the hell did I think that was? G has been late everyday, and is considering "working late" next week which means 7pm rather than 5:30.
So, here I sit.
Sorry to be such a downer. Just a phase I guess.
Peace be with you.
Thursday, June 03, 2010
Last days of the hospital
During the day on Saturday there were no surprises. I asked my nurse if she thought the doctor would release me on Monday. I knew he wouldn't go for anything before that. She came back, and said that he would release me on Monday afternoon. That's what I wanted. I knew she would have to put pressure on him because he wouldn't be in to see me until Tuesday when office hours were held and Valarie would be back. He is a brilliant surgeon, and has many interests (his bachelor was in biology - like mine), but his nurse keeps him on the straight and narrow with the daily menial things. So I knew I had to work through the nurse.
So it was set. When it was time that the night nurse came on, things were different. She came in and said she was going to take the IV out. That's good. But this one was not in a place that hurt, and even though it was old - it still worked. No she meant she was going to take out that one only to put in a new one.
I don't know why, but all the veins in my left arm decided to be non-cooperative. This particular nurse seems to have great problems finding a vein. So after the poked around my hand for a vein (trying twice with a stick), she attached a new IV. It was in a place that hurt.
Sunday was OK until about 10pm. I was settling down to go to sleep. I had the TV on still, and I was snuggled in the bed. All the sudden, there was a noise in the hall, and then my door was thrown open with great force. There appeared something. I couldn't tell if it were man or woman. It was shouting something that was not plain. In fact, this scene could have come from your basic horror movie where the monster appears.
I was scared to death. I laid there wondering what to do. I had the call button in hand. Do I call the nurses station or use the button to beat the thing. About that time, another nurse entered the room. She told me that the woman (at least now I knew) was looking for her mother's room, and she was quite retarded. She said "she wasn't all there." No kidding!
Monday came. Noon passed. No doctor. We waited until 5pm. G called the answering service to try to make contact with the doctor to determine if I were really coming home. He was informed the hospital nurse had to call. So she did. No response.
To cut to the chase, after a couple of calls, he was finally on his way. I really think he was hoping I would not push coming home. Well - he doesn't know me very well. When he came in, I saw a little superstition in him. He hasn't had a blood clot problem in a long time, and it was getting to about time for that to happen. He wanted me to stay so I would be there and be getting the anticoagulant injected in my abdomen twice a day. I think he would have wanted me to stay forever!
Anyway, I was released at 7. Hallelujah! So that brings me home, where I have used my machine that moves the joint the times I am supposed to. That is because with this knee I cannot sit in anything in the den, so I am in the bedroom with the machine. I also make sure I do the ankle pumps at least once an hour.
Peace be with you.
So it was set. When it was time that the night nurse came on, things were different. She came in and said she was going to take the IV out. That's good. But this one was not in a place that hurt, and even though it was old - it still worked. No she meant she was going to take out that one only to put in a new one.
I don't know why, but all the veins in my left arm decided to be non-cooperative. This particular nurse seems to have great problems finding a vein. So after the poked around my hand for a vein (trying twice with a stick), she attached a new IV. It was in a place that hurt.
Sunday was OK until about 10pm. I was settling down to go to sleep. I had the TV on still, and I was snuggled in the bed. All the sudden, there was a noise in the hall, and then my door was thrown open with great force. There appeared something. I couldn't tell if it were man or woman. It was shouting something that was not plain. In fact, this scene could have come from your basic horror movie where the monster appears.
I was scared to death. I laid there wondering what to do. I had the call button in hand. Do I call the nurses station or use the button to beat the thing. About that time, another nurse entered the room. She told me that the woman (at least now I knew) was looking for her mother's room, and she was quite retarded. She said "she wasn't all there." No kidding!
Monday came. Noon passed. No doctor. We waited until 5pm. G called the answering service to try to make contact with the doctor to determine if I were really coming home. He was informed the hospital nurse had to call. So she did. No response.
To cut to the chase, after a couple of calls, he was finally on his way. I really think he was hoping I would not push coming home. Well - he doesn't know me very well. When he came in, I saw a little superstition in him. He hasn't had a blood clot problem in a long time, and it was getting to about time for that to happen. He wanted me to stay so I would be there and be getting the anticoagulant injected in my abdomen twice a day. I think he would have wanted me to stay forever!
Anyway, I was released at 7. Hallelujah! So that brings me home, where I have used my machine that moves the joint the times I am supposed to. That is because with this knee I cannot sit in anything in the den, so I am in the bedroom with the machine. I also make sure I do the ankle pumps at least once an hour.
Peace be with you.
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
More surgery
OK - Thursday morning has dawned. Well not really. I had visitors it seemed every 30 minutes, but, your know, that's SOP for hospital stays post surgery.
When 7am finally rolled around, I called to place my breakfast order. Simple - scrambled eggs, sausage... "YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT". What?? I am still on the clear liquids diet. Oh come on folks. I have a digestive system that can take a regular diet now. I am not some little shrinking violet who would not be able to tolerate a real breakfast. So I had jello, cranberry juice, beef broth, and coffee. I was not a happy camper. Not. At. All.
I asked the nurse how I can get off this thing. I had to tolerate that, and then she could move me to a liquid diet for lunch. Oh happy day. So lunch looked a lot like breakfast, but I added cream of wheat. "You know you will have to wait an extra time for the cream of wheat." You mean to tell me I am the only patient in this huge hospital who is on this "diet," and wants cream of wheat instead of tomato soup? Ok. I'll wait.
PT came in to "evaluate me. I got the walker and walked to the end of the hall. She remarked about how well I did. Oh yes, I know the rules of this game. The second PT came later. It was my sweet Mike from the last time. Once again, off I went to the end of the hall.
Things went well for the remainder of the day. Nothing remarkable happened.
Come Friday morning. I was on a regular diet - finally. That was great. I still had the catheter and the epidural was out yesterday. No reason to get up for anything at that point. After a bit, here was Mike. I jumped out of bed, I was hurting so bad. I made myself walk to the door to the room and about three doors out in the hall. I went back. My thigh, of all things was killing me.
A while later, Mike came in and took the "automatic ice pack" off. He made up an old fashioned one.
He said it would mold better. Some time later, the doc and nurse came in to change the bandage. I told him it is a good thing this is #2 because if it had #1, there would be no second. They were at a loss.
During the night, I was in such pain that my blood pressure shot up. Something like 198/99. We got serious with pain meds. It was morphine and oxy. The bp came down, but every time I would be in pain, up it would go.
The cardio doc's PA said to schedule pain meds. Don't wait. Just take them. That's great, but the nurses get paid to remember when to administer drugs. They couldn't remember every 4 hours.
Pain and I continued to play hide and seek because - especially at night I wouldn't get my drugs. What else is there to do at night for the nurses?? The one I had Friday and Saturday night was absolutely useless. Totally.
This is long enough, and Saturday night is a real gem. It deserves its own post.
Peace be with you.
When 7am finally rolled around, I called to place my breakfast order. Simple - scrambled eggs, sausage... "YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT". What?? I am still on the clear liquids diet. Oh come on folks. I have a digestive system that can take a regular diet now. I am not some little shrinking violet who would not be able to tolerate a real breakfast. So I had jello, cranberry juice, beef broth, and coffee. I was not a happy camper. Not. At. All.
I asked the nurse how I can get off this thing. I had to tolerate that, and then she could move me to a liquid diet for lunch. Oh happy day. So lunch looked a lot like breakfast, but I added cream of wheat. "You know you will have to wait an extra time for the cream of wheat." You mean to tell me I am the only patient in this huge hospital who is on this "diet," and wants cream of wheat instead of tomato soup? Ok. I'll wait.
PT came in to "evaluate me. I got the walker and walked to the end of the hall. She remarked about how well I did. Oh yes, I know the rules of this game. The second PT came later. It was my sweet Mike from the last time. Once again, off I went to the end of the hall.
Things went well for the remainder of the day. Nothing remarkable happened.
Come Friday morning. I was on a regular diet - finally. That was great. I still had the catheter and the epidural was out yesterday. No reason to get up for anything at that point. After a bit, here was Mike. I jumped out of bed, I was hurting so bad. I made myself walk to the door to the room and about three doors out in the hall. I went back. My thigh, of all things was killing me.
A while later, Mike came in and took the "automatic ice pack" off. He made up an old fashioned one.
He said it would mold better. Some time later, the doc and nurse came in to change the bandage. I told him it is a good thing this is #2 because if it had #1, there would be no second. They were at a loss.
During the night, I was in such pain that my blood pressure shot up. Something like 198/99. We got serious with pain meds. It was morphine and oxy. The bp came down, but every time I would be in pain, up it would go.
The cardio doc's PA said to schedule pain meds. Don't wait. Just take them. That's great, but the nurses get paid to remember when to administer drugs. They couldn't remember every 4 hours.
Pain and I continued to play hide and seek because - especially at night I wouldn't get my drugs. What else is there to do at night for the nurses?? The one I had Friday and Saturday night was absolutely useless. Totally.
This is long enough, and Saturday night is a real gem. It deserves its own post.
Peace be with you.
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
I am here - I think
It was absolutely touch and go, but I managed to get spung from the hospital. I really think Dr Bones would really have wanted me to stay through today. Five days is absolutely enough - especially with the one night nurse I had. I will let the story unfold. With all that has happened (one incident especially) are really worth relating, so this may take several installments. It is worth recording!
We arrived at the hospital at the assigned hour - 7am on Wednesday. We got to the assembly area, and there was nary a soul there. There was a sign, and on that sign there was a number to call. But this number was an in-house one. There was no house phone. I remembered there was a number to call on my paperwork from the pre-hospitalization work. I called it on my cell, and they would come out to get me. OK.
All went well until it was time for the IV. Now, only my left arm is to be used since the mastectomy on the right. We want to avoid lymphedema. The nurse looked at my lower arm and hand. She tried once on the underside. If you are in this situation, and they are poking around the underside of your wrist, hit them! That is the most painful place on the arm! Anyway, she didn't hit the vein, or if so, it fried immediately. So the little guy from anesthesia tried. I felt more assured, but guess what - he blew another two of three veins. I'm beginning to think that we won't have the surgery. The other doc from anesthesia came in. He began looking. He mentioned the words you really don't want to hear - using the neck. Fortunately, he got one in the upper hand, but used a smaller cannula for it not to blow the vein.
Then he did the epidural. He was so much better than the last one! This time there was very little pain. It was just a matter of minutes, and I was on my way to the surgery suite. I was transferred to the table, the real anesthesia was administered and I was gone.
There were a bunch of bone fragments to be removed, and the knee was 5 millimeters smaller than the rest on all the measurements. But it was in, and I went to recovery.
My time in recovery was some pain. It was strange, it was in the foot and ankle, but that wasn't to be the most unusual pain. That is to come.
I am exhausted now. I have already read a mountain of emails. Thanks to all you with your comments. They were wonderful. It is time for this body to become horizontal for a while now.
Peace be with you.
We arrived at the hospital at the assigned hour - 7am on Wednesday. We got to the assembly area, and there was nary a soul there. There was a sign, and on that sign there was a number to call. But this number was an in-house one. There was no house phone. I remembered there was a number to call on my paperwork from the pre-hospitalization work. I called it on my cell, and they would come out to get me. OK.
All went well until it was time for the IV. Now, only my left arm is to be used since the mastectomy on the right. We want to avoid lymphedema. The nurse looked at my lower arm and hand. She tried once on the underside. If you are in this situation, and they are poking around the underside of your wrist, hit them! That is the most painful place on the arm! Anyway, she didn't hit the vein, or if so, it fried immediately. So the little guy from anesthesia tried. I felt more assured, but guess what - he blew another two of three veins. I'm beginning to think that we won't have the surgery. The other doc from anesthesia came in. He began looking. He mentioned the words you really don't want to hear - using the neck. Fortunately, he got one in the upper hand, but used a smaller cannula for it not to blow the vein.
Then he did the epidural. He was so much better than the last one! This time there was very little pain. It was just a matter of minutes, and I was on my way to the surgery suite. I was transferred to the table, the real anesthesia was administered and I was gone.
There were a bunch of bone fragments to be removed, and the knee was 5 millimeters smaller than the rest on all the measurements. But it was in, and I went to recovery.
My time in recovery was some pain. It was strange, it was in the foot and ankle, but that wasn't to be the most unusual pain. That is to come.
I am exhausted now. I have already read a mountain of emails. Thanks to all you with your comments. They were wonderful. It is time for this body to become horizontal for a while now.
Peace be with you.
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