Please note - this is a whine post! Hurt feelings will be aired here. If you don't want to read, that's ok, see you tomorrow!
I am about to stop these family dinners. There are more hurt feelings after them than they are worth! I hate to lay blame, but DIL is the prime one who gives out the hurts like she is a political candidate who is handing out paraphernalia.
She had been with her family (mother and aunt) all weekend, and so she was in rare form. She was just a cold fish all night.
I know she doesn't like SIL. He doesn't really care for her, but makes a valiant effort to be sweet to her. It's not returned.
When the kids all get together, she is really a b%t*c. I know Wiggle Worm is the youngest. I worry about him with the other kids, but she lets him get right in there. The next one is Doodle Bug. She is 2 1/2. She isn't usually around little ones. DIL expects them all to share toys. Well, it doesn't happen, and DIL gets even more icy.
We were discussing (outside) a party for SIL who is turning 40 this year. We were trying to determine if Son would be available. DIL piped up saying "you have something." She will find some excuse for them not being there.
The real problem is I miss my son and his son. I've said this before. "A son is a son until he takes a wife." I see it in all sorts of families. I think it is very unusual for a son to remain closer to his family after marriage.
I'm just really sad about it all this morning. My feelings have been hurt - a lot. Every Easter, they spend in Louisiana. We have no chance of having them with us. Lip service is given to the other holidays. They o the SSB - when she knows we won't be there. My grandson doesn't know us. He knows their friends better than this family.
I'm sorry to unload like this. Just needed to vent to someone. Thanks isf you made it this far!
Peace be with you.
4 comments:
I'm sorry for your situation. Can you tell your son that you miss him and your grandson? and maybe he will try to make sure that his family sees the kids as often as possible.
You DIL sounds just like the relationship betwen my Sis-IL and my MIL. Well, and between her and me too for that matter. I have two girls and their kids are their only cousins but they have barely spent any time with them because Sis-IL prefers her family over her husband's family (us). Yep, hurt feelings. I try not to let it bother me, but it's hard not to. She finally just quit coming and now BIL comes by himself, which is also kind of weird.
Sometimes--with these sorts of things and I know full well what you are talking about--it would be easier if the offending party lived way off in another State. THEN you would at least know that it was the distance that kept you apart, not the emotional baggage they carry. It just seems that we are the ones to make the effort-all the time! and as Mother's I suppose we are suppose too--or think we are suppose too.
My advice to families in this situation is just grit your teeth and keep on trying to maintain those family ties. Try to develop a thicker skin. I think it is so sad when grandchildren don't know their grandparents and cousins don't know their other cousins. You don't want to regret not having tried harder to keep the family together a few years down the road.
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