Time

Do you ever wonder where time goes? Do you feel there are enough hours in a day?

I just have no idea where the time goes in a day. I get up, and then it's bed time. I look around and wonder just what I have accomplished. I wonder where the time is hiding. It was there a minute ago. I saw it. The day was sitting there, unused.

When I was still teaching, there was a point where I had teenagers at home, was a part time organist at a church, and ran a small craft business that was located in a local flea market. That meant that at night I was making things for said craft business. I also was mom taxi.

I managed to get things done. Lesson plans were done, tests were written, labs (I taught science) were prepared, papers were graded. The house was fairly presentable, and the dust was under control. Dinner was prepared every evening and on the table for a family dinner by 7 pm.

Now I am retired. My daughter and I are still playing around with the craft thing, but there is no store. We make occasional craft shows, but nothing big. We did one last year, but I had my cancer to deal with and she had her pregnancy. I just don't seem to be able to get anything done.

One of the factors I must consider is the simple fact that I am older - considerably. I just don't have the energy that I once had. I used to put this off to the chemo and radiation. I know that was part of it. I expected to immediately bounce back from that. I gave it a month thinking I would be full speed again. It just didn't happen. I would lie on the couch - exhausted - while the world just kept right on going around me.

Keeping an infant surely doesn't help. I am really thankful that she naps. The other two didn't. For the longest time, when she finally went to sleep, I would just become a vegetable. I was completely spent. Since Thanksgiving when she began refusing the bottle, getting her to sleep for her nap has been a battle. She cries and cries, but finally gives in to sleep for more than an hour.

My energy level is better - finally. I think after 6 months, I am about back to where I was. Normal? Not at all. While I was battling those cancer cells, age crept in, bringing something that saps energy. I used to wonder why retired people often took naps. I understand now.

The other side of a nap is that if I take one, then I don't sleep at night! Ah, the wonders of old age.

But I guess I will set off now, looking for bits and pieces of time. I know it has to be here somewhere.