A little knowledge is a dangerous thing

As I was reading some of the booklets I picked up at the radiation oncologist’s office, I was moved by one of them that advised to keep a journal. Well, that’s what a blog is isn’t it? Well, sort of. And I intent to use this one for that purpose. So don’t be surprised by the mood of this entry.

I'm not sure I can do the rest of this treatment. I really don't. Perhaps I should quit reading about radiation therapy. I am really scared. The cautions about the effects are really nagging at me. Plus, I feel that my support system in G is dwindling. I tried to open a dialog last night, but there didn’t seem to be much interest.

I am angry that this treatment is going to take over my life for the next two months. I guess the spoiled brat is coming out - in spades! I was used to having to be available after teaching for 29+ years. But now I am used to having some Mondays free for travel.

I am worried about my eventual reconstruction surgery, and that is one surgery I really want. My surgeon left some tissue so that reconstruction would be easier. That’s great, but the problem is that extra tissue is uncomfortable - especially under my arm. I am so worried that there will be permanent damage to the skin making reconstruction impossible.

I was able to make it through chemo without considerable nausea and so on. From what I was reading, that is possible with radiation. I was able to keep mouth sores away. I have mouth full of crowns that worry me. The booklets said that dentures may not fit properly with radiation. Will my crowns be affected as well?

I just sounds like radiation is far worse than chemo. I just don’t know that I can do all this for another two months. My attitude and will have just gone terribly south. I think the best thing is to stop reading about what may happen. Ignorance may be bliss. I need some bliss.

What a night

Being a person who can never leave well enough alone, I was sitting on the couch perusing a booklet I picked up on radiation therapy. Now this was after I went with K to buy an infant car seat she found on Cr**g’s List. That was a trip. A trip from hell.

I don’t like her going to meet unknown people (in my mind they crazed killers who are looking for a 9 month pregnant woman to kill and take her unborn) to buy these baby items. She called about 7:30 and asked if I was too tired to ride along. I agreed to go. Got me out of doing the dishes!

She was to go to a gated community. We flew by it the first time, and had to turn around. We were chatting and trying to figure out the instructions for the gate. Her first two attempts were wrong, plus she inherited her father’s lack of mechanical or logical abilities.

Just as the gate was beginning to open, we heard a sound from the back seat that sends horror into hearts. Lady Bug was vomiting. She just sat there and up it came - all over the seat and K’s business signs.

My daughter is never prepared for things like this. With two children, you would think she would carry some tissue or paper towels. Nope! Not a thing but a couple of used napkins. So there we were. Lady Bug was covered, the seat was covered, and the box of signs was full. Now my about to burst pregnant daughter was getting sick too.

We got Lady Bug out of her shorts and K found a shirt (?!?!) to put over the seat. And we continued on out pursuit of the car seat.

We got to drive home with the windows open with the steam of Swamplands caressing out skins all the way home. That was the only way K wouldn’t add to the stench of the van.
Of course, I gave Lady Bug chili and a wiener for lunch! Not good coming up several hours later.

Back to the pamphlet. As I was reading, it said that there could be scans! Plural! Oh no!

The (now) dreaded PET scan

Yesterday I just flat ran out of gas! The PET scan was really more of a drain than I ever could imagine. The one I had six months ago wasn’t bad at all, but this one was different. Plus I had Lady Bug from the minute I got home until her dad FINALLY decided to pick her up at 4:45. If he continues this "stuff" there is no way I can keep the new one when she arrives. But that’s another story.

Today we talk about the dreaded PET. Normally, PETs are not done on Wednesday. That put fear in my heart. I knew a change from routine would put a monkey wrench in the works. I was supposed to be there at 8:30. I am accustomed to being there about 9 since the lab is just across from the oncologist. I was concerned about traffic, so I got there 15 minutes early so I wouldn’t make things harder for the tech. I waited in the lobby and went to the door at 8:30. Closed, locked and no lights. Well . . .

I walked back to radiology. The sweet receptionist began calling around for me. About 9, she told me they were there. I went over. The new development was that the lights were on. The door was still locked.

I knocked, knowing all the while Lisa (the tech) could not hear me. Just as I was getting ready to go back to radiology, she came in to open the door.

All the things to get ready were the same, except this time I had to wear a hospital
gown that was made to fit Paris. I should have run right then. Things were about to take a turn south.

Lisa said I could sit on the table while she got one of the therapists from "over there" to come over. When she arrived, she came with the set up I was on when they took the measurements for radiation.

Part of this set up is an arm rest. That consists of two stirrup looking things that are supposed to cradle the upper and lower arm. There was no way that set up was going through that tube, and sure enough it wasn’t.

Then they began repositioning my body on the "bed." I am not a small woman. I could only be considered small if I were an Amazon. To get the apparatus for the breast radiation into the tube, my body was shoved to the edge of the bed. I was afraid I was going to fall off. My left arm was off.

When they tried a "trial fit," my left arm was hitting the other side of the tube and they had to remove the stirrup that held the lower right arm. It was determined that this would work because "this doesn’t take long" (quote from the radiation therapist).

I was freaking out this time because I was crammed into that blasted tube, touching the side and the top, and they left me in the middle for what seemed an eternity before the test.
Last time was not bad. I never freaked out. This time was different. I was about to scream. I asked how long it would take, and got no answer at first. Then Lisa finally told me it would be about 30 minutes.

As it turned out, there was only about a 10 minute period of time where I was mildly frantic. My left arm rested against the side of the tube the whole time, and at this point I can only hope and pray that they don’t call me to tell me that the results are unreadable and I have to come back.
I think my tiredness was due to my emotions. I probably shouldn’t have kept Lady Bug at all, but you know how mothers and grandmothers are. We always put ourselves on the back burner. I know K wouldn’t have wanted that, but at her stage of pregnancy I don’t want her stressing about not being able to get her work done - which she will be, and is, doing.

It’s almost time for Lady Bug to be here. It is supposed to be a short day with her dad picking her up when his appointment in Beaumont is done. Let’s hope he gets her on his WAY home and not after he has been home, etc.

Dashed hopes

Yesterday was a real experience. I had my usual check up with Dr Poison. It was at 10:30 instead of my usual 9 to 9:30 appointment. They all tried their best, but 10:30 was it.

G had decided he wanted to go with me to this appointment, but when the doctor was with us, I was wondering why since he asked no questions nor added anything with the exception of what the results of my tumor marker in the blood work was. Well, ok. He was there.

My hopes and dreams were smashed when we began planning the future of my treatment. I do have to have radiation. I have seven weeks of radiation. Monday through Friday radiation. No weekend trips radiation.

The oncology office was much more confused than usual. The doctor told us to wait. When the nurse came, she said we could leave, but we didn’t have the prescription nor the orders for the radiation.

We ended up waiting back in the waiting room, and finally got everything we needed in addition to an escort to the radiation lab. I wasn’t expecting to go over there then. I thought an appointment would be set up, and then I would go.

We sat in that waiting room for a while. A nurse came to get me, and we went to get checked in. That meant weight (ugh), temp, and blood pressure again within two hours. Oh well.

She left for a few minutes, then came back advising us to go to lunch because Dr Glowing was in a meeting. OK. We would do that.

We headed to the door, but G (with the micro bladder) had to stop at the restroom. While I was waiting, I was snagged by another clerk who wanted to "register" me. We weren’t free yet.
We called K because I was supposed to watch Lady Bug for a while. That wasn’t going to happen, but we met for lunch anyway. During lunch, I filled her in.

We went back to the radiation department to meet with Dr Glowing. That was another 45 minutes. He put his laptop on the exam table and turned to face us. The computer began to beep and gurgle. I could just imagine he was playing a video game!

After a few questions, he gave me a robe and said he would be back to examine me. When he came back, it was mostly the usual exam, but he played connect the dots on my chest. Then he announced the "girls" (I’ll bet if they knew that they would be pissed!) would take me for the measurements and schedule a PET scan for today.

I didn’t know what to expect. After several of what I think were x-rays, I got tattooed and was allowed to get dressed. Then they set the PET. Normally PETS are not done on Wednesday. Humm. That was my first clue.

I’ll continue with today’s fun tomorrow. Lady Bug is here and wants to play a game on this computer since the desk top, Della, is still a little off kilter.

Whoo-hoo

As usual, time has had a way of slipping by without giving me notice of its leaving. I have been a little busier than usual though. I have kept Lady Bug several days when her mom and dad couldn’t work out their schedules. She is a joy to have around!
I also have been sewing for this weekend’s confirmation reunion to celebrate the church’s 150 anniversary in San Antonio. My great grandfather was one of the first marriages in that church and the families were founding members, so this is an important thing for me!

Yesterday was the last of the scheduled chemo. I still believe that I am cured. You know "hope springs eternal in the human breast." I have had that feeling since the mastectomy and the beginning of the chemo, and I still do. There is that nagging feeling that I shouldn’t get too hopeful. I know things can still be lurking. So I have to be ready to face reality.

My close chemo center is still closed. Someone must have really dropped the ball. It must be some kind of insurance thing or some licensing thing. I asked the nurse who is over there yesterday when she was giving me my drugs if they would reopen next week, and she said she didn’t know. She is anxious for it to reopen because she lives, as I do, close. When she gets off in the evening it takes her an hour to get home from the main office - where we have to go - as opposed to 15 minutes from the close center.

I get to go back over the 20+ miles just to get the Neulasta today. It is so tempting to blow it off, but being around people this weekend would be taking a risk. I guess I need to stimulate those little disease fighting white cells! I just hope I don’t get to go back to the main office next week for another red cell shot since I haven’t really responded and am still anemic.


We are heading to the hill country this weekend. It is not that far from San Antonio, and we can leave Simone in the house for a few hours as opposed to sending her to Summer Camp for a few days at the vet’s office. She's so much happier just being alone for a bit!

Besides, we haven’t been up for five weeks. I need to make sure that my patch around the place where the satellite cable comes into the house worked and the mice are gone! Wonderful thing to find the last time. I am just praying they are gone, and I have an electric mouse trap now, but I don’t want them in AT ALL!! Wish me luck.

Have a good weekend, and I’ll catch up with you next week..

What I have done this week

This week has passed very quickly. I can’t believe the time is gone.

It began with a bang - literally. About 7 pm there was a bang, and the lights went out. I could tell it wasn’t just a little outage. It was different. Our local looting and pillage group hasn’t been able to supply a constant stream of electrons into our house forever, but recently it has been worse. We would get little flashes, but then the lights would come back on.

So I called our provider to report the outage. I waited on the line to get an estimated power restore time. They said 11 pm. Being without electricity - hence air conditioning - here in swamp land is cruel and unusual punishment. I couldn’t believe it!

So I headed to the cabinet in the hall bath where all the lights for hurricanes are stored. I finally got them out and began to assemble them. I found them to be completely unsatisfactory. I will be replacing that stash soon. They will never work for several days.

As the time went on, I called back to check on the progress. Now our estimated time of return to civilization is 3 am. Oh we are in deep doo. G had his usual reaction to things of this nature. He had a temper tantrum. What a waste of energy, and all it did was to add more heat to the situation.

He went to bed - complaining all the way. About 1 am I called again. This time our estimate was 6:30 am. I didn’t like the progression of this situation.

About 2am, Simone barked. That in itself is weird. She never barks. But there were voices outside. When I looked at the wall in our pitch black den, there were strobe effects. I rushed to the front window to look out, and there was salvation. There were two trucks in front of our neighbor’s house. Civilization exists.

About 3:30am, the TV sprang to life. Lights blazed and fans ran. We had power. We were saved from certain steaming to death.

In more mundane news, I saw Dr Poison on Tuesday. He was noncommital about what happens after my last chemo. Last night I learned from a friend that was not unusual. When her son had cancer, they experienced the same thing. So the ride will continue for several more weeks before I know what my future holds.

I kept Lady Bug on Tuesday and Wednesday. She was a typical 6 year old, and we had a talk about that. She promised not to put Simone into her crate and close the door again.

I get to finish my treatments at the main poison center. The new office where I have been going is having some type of problem where they can’t get the drugs delivered there. That means a one way trip of 20+ miles rather than 7, but I have been lucky. I only have to make that trek a total of three times, and I got one out of the way yeserday when I got the red blood cell shot.

So what have you been doing?

It's what day???

I don’t know where the time has gone. This week has just flown, and I can’t give evidence of anything that I have done that is worthwhile. The closest is that I finished the robe I was making - as far as I could without the interfacing I needed.

I had my next to last chemo yesterday. That is good, and I realize a little bad. My blood work showed anemia - as usual. But putting the chemo on top of that really has knocked my for a loop. I am tired to the bone and quite out of breath with any exertion. I got the red blood boosting shot yesterday, but it hasn’t had time to work yet.

Today I go for the Neulasta, and that means I have the rest of the day and tomorrow morning to get things done because I will have 5 days in bed/on the couch ahead of me. I’m sure it will cause the arthritis to go into hyper-mode.

I will pick up Lady Bug after the shot. I was supposed to take her with me, but I know they don’t want children in the cancer center. I really love having her around, but it brings back some hard feelings with Son-InLaw who easily abuses me keeping her. That is another post however.

There is nothing unusual happening around here. Next week will not be as clear as I would like because I have to go in on Wednesday for the red blood cell shot. That means lab work on Tuesday after Dr Poison’s visit. So it really is pretty much same, same!

What a busy day

Yesterday was a full day! I am certainly glad it is over too!

It was G's routine colonoscopy appointment. He gets to go every two years. I’m lucky In that my next one is 2011 which is rather funny in light of the good old breast cancer thingy. But that’s another story isn’t it?

I always over prepare for the waiting room. I had my book as well as my cross stitch projects. One isn’t enough, I had to have all three! After loading myself down like a pack mule, we set off for the hospital giving ourselves only thirty minutes to get there.

This is Swampland people. Our "freeways" look like a fire ant bed that has been stirred with a stick at 7:30 in the morning. G’s preferred way of getting to that hospital is to take the "freeway." I have to use that term in quotes because they more resemble parking lots. I just settled into my seat and quietly looked out the window. No sense giving my advice.

We got to the hospital parking lot at the appointed minute. It was 8 am on the dot. Of course we were not in the building. Details. I’m such a stickler for details.

The waiting room nearest the desk was completely full, so we went to the overflow area. Between the swish of the doors opening and the music at 400 decibels, we both were concerned we would never hear his name being called. But we did, and that worked out fine.

We were escorted upstairs to the Ambulatory Care Unit. We found his name was misspelled. Do you know what that means in these days of heath care? Everything had to be redone. Great!
All the paper work was redone, and the appointed hour was approaching. Our gastro guy is usually prompt. Not today. Of course not. I had something to do at 1 pm. I was going to meet K to see her 3D sonogram. Hmmm. It is after 10 when G is supposed to be in la la land, and he is still here, wide awake.

When I got up and turned on the news, all I got about the traffic was that there was some kind of problem up the freeway from where we got on. It caused the traffic from the Netherlands to be backed up taking about 3 times as long to get in. Guess who was in that traffic. Yes none other than Dr Gastro. His medication nurse was even further back in the mess. So the procedure got started LATE.

When G was taken back into the lab, I was shown to the waiting room. Those are interesting places. When I was first up, I thought I would just wait until I got him into surgery, then go have breakfast in the hospital. Well folks, we are getting too close to lunch, so I made the executive decision to dine a la machine.

After piling all my worldly goods into a chair in the corner, away from everyone else, I put my dollar into the drink machine only to realize that is was going to cost me another twenty five cents. Since the dollar wasn’t going to be spit out, I ponied up the quarter. I pushed the button, heard the bottle fall, but it wasn’t to be seen. A nice man even felt all around. No drink.. Nothing for $1.25, Highway robbery. After some thought, I decided to pony up another $1.25. Yes you are correct. Two bottles fell into the opening!

I took my two bottles and settled into one of the chairs, That was when my eyes fell on the woman at the opposite end of the waiting room. She is on her cell phone. When I shift my eyes to the left, there is a sign stating "no cell phone area, " and this woman is sitting there with her cell phone plugged into the wall, chatting away. She continues this behavior for at least 15 minutes straight. She is making business calls. One after another after another.

After a bit, she decides to move from under the tv into a bank of chairs that faces the tv. Without asking anyone, she takes it upon herself to change to channel. She is with the other people in the waiting room! That lasts a few moments until her still plugged in cell phone rings, and she returns to the first seat. When a nice young man asks if she is watching the tv, she responds in good old East Texas "I was fixin’ to!"

By this time, I am working on the new baby’s cross stitch wall hanging, and other people are beginning to filter into the waiting room. My people magnet has now switched on. Where do these people sit? Yep, right around me. Me who should avoid crowds.

After a few minutes, the volunteer calls me to go back to see Dr Gastro. G is fine. He will be sent back to the room, and I should go back there to wait. OK

On the way back to his room, I get to thinking about what he would ask for as far as a beverage. I was right. Coffee. It will take him 30 minutes to drink that coffee. We are getting close to noon. The sonogram is at 1 .

After several anxious moments, harsh words between K and me, driving like a race car driver, I do get G home, throw down lunch, drive like a mad woman again, I arrive at the place for the sonogram. I got a good look at my second granddaughter. She is beautiful. I can’t wait for her to get here, but first she needs to get that head down in position.

Lessons from the funny papers

This morning while the coffee G had made was brewing, I settled onto the couch for my 58 year (at least) Sunday morning ritual of reading the Sunday comics. That has always been the section I head for first thing. It works well for us. G usually doesn’t read them at all. So they are mine - all mine.

I got to thinking about the impact the "funny papers" have had on my life through these years. When I was a small child, I was aware of measuring time. I had years and months down pretty well, but weeks were another thing.

I, like most young children, couldn’t wait for Christmas. Keeping up with the weeks until Christmas was something I couldn’t always grasp. When I was a child, we didn’t attend a "high church" so I knew nothing of an Advent wreath which would have made the wait make more sense, but my dad and I had a kind of advent wreath. It was using the number of "funny papers" until Christmas. Every Sunday I would ask how many more funny papers until Christmas.

I have found inspiration in the pages of these comics. I have found solace. I have found escape. I've found lessons in their frames. They have been important in my life.

Today was no exception, but I didn’t know what was coming. Since my diagnosis of cancer, I have looked upon the disease as though it was just a simple infection. We do the surgery; we do the treatments, and we get over it. Simple as that. No big deal. It’s not like it’s deadly or something. I mean really!

Then today I read one of my favorite strips. One of the characters has been fighting breast cancer for a number of years. She went for a scan, and was told she was fine. Then her physician found that her results had been confused with someone else’s. She is back in chemo and her prognosis doesn’t look good.


That brought me to reality. Although I have great confidence that I will get through this with no lingering problems, there is that chance. It IS cancer, after all. I shouldn’t take my complete recovery for granted. It may not happen. Another lesson to be taken to heart.

I wonder how many more "funny papers" are in my future? I wish there were an answer this time.

Brag, brag

I was full of myself yesterday. I thought the additional steroid pills had done the trick and I was not going to be completely laid up again. Um - no. That wasn’t the way it was.

The pain did stay away for about 12 hours, but last night it hit - suddenly. All through the day I felt good. No muscle or joint aches. We even went out to dinner. All systems were go.

About 9:30pm I was sitting on the couch when it hit. First the knees, then the hips. I took a very hot bath, but it didn’t really help. I took the pain pills, but when your hips hurt, sleeping is difficult.

By 11am this morning, I was really in pain again. I took two of the little jewels and that knocked me out for a while.

To top off the morning, I decided yesterday that I would try Simone on her thyroid pills again. She is losing even more hair on her back, and the vet thought she had a thyroid deficiency. So she is getting rather bald on her back. What a pair of hairless wonders we are making!

I gave her the third pill this morning. It had the effect they have had before. It seems as soon as she has had three pills, she gets sick. She began her "licking." She was nauseated. I gave her an anti-nausea pill, but I was too late. She headed for the office, and you guessed it. I cleaned that up and treated her again.

So today what we had around here was a sleepy woman, a sleepy dog and a rainy day.

She is finally better and so am I. Two more treatments for me, who knows for Simone. Poor G. All he can do it sit on the sidelines, observe and wonder.

Tidbits

It has been a long time since I have been here! A little catching up is in order.

The trip to the SSB was a good one. Leaving on Thursday gave me time to bake the cookies for the community club dinner on Friday so they wouldn’t be little crumbs after the 5 ½ hour trip. I was able to cut all the vegetables for the hamburgers and hot dogs on Friday also.
G and out neighbor E went to Kerrville to pick up the new "toy" - a utility vehicle that I believe will become my magic chariot to traverse the property since walking is certainly not something I can easily do up there.

The dinner was well received on Friday night. The crowd was fairly large, and we did have enough food. I think that was partially due to the fact that the under 15 crowd was sparse.

For some reason I was very fatigued. Saturday I had promised I would go over to P and M’s to teach her to knit. Her broken ankle is keeping her pretty close to home since it is her right. That means she cannot drive for another 3 weeks at least. Of course, she has no car since her’s was totalled.

My fatigue has continued. I am supposed to go get my Neulasta shot today. I checked with the nurse about the time, and she said I could come whenever since it was only one shot. I am going to wait untl about 11am as opposed to 9am to rest a little more.

I am just getting over the skin rash from the chemo on the 9th. I guess I’ll start all over on Sunday if things hold to the way it was then. The muscle and joint pains started mildly 3 hours after chemo yesterday.

Hope all is well for you.

TMI - way too much!

Yes, my quasi Victorian mind set thinks this is too much information, but here I go anyway.

Yesterday I was alarmed to find blood in my stool. I went to the file to read the information about the drug I am getting this go on chemo. It said that even though this is not an emergency, I should contact my doctor within 24 hours because it is a situation that needs medical attention.

I sat on the couch for a few minutes. I was thinking I could just forget about this little development. I didn’t want it to mean that we couldn’t travel this weekend. But then I could see us getting 5 ½ hours away, and me getting in a really serious situation. So I bit the bullet and called

Of course, the office was closed. Now I know their schedule. I KNOW people were still in the office. In fact, I was sure Dr Poison was still in the office. He runs so late. But I got the answering service.

The operator I was speaking to was rather distant as I explained my situation. In fact, I was beginning to think I was a fool for calling. By the time she began to speak, I was becoming a basket case. She said she would have the on call physician call. I was about to cry, and I was really becooming scared.

A few minutes later I got the call. I think it was the doctor the surgeon wanted me to see. I really wish I could have gotten in with her. She was so positive and bubbly. She said a lot of her patients have problems with this "easier" regime. Her first question was if I had been constipated. Well, as a matter of fact, the pain killers put my intestines to sleep. So yes, I had been. In fact, I still had pains in my stomach. BUt I still wasn't assured because here it was three days later.

"That’s probably it" she responded. She suggested stool softeners, and advised if it got worse, I would have to go to the hospital.

I am happy to report that all systems appear to be in normal working condition! Aren’t you glad you read this. I should be so ashamed! This is not a normal report on a condition. I am turning into my mother as surely as I sit here.

The best laid plans . . .

Every single plan I had for yesterday simply evaporated. I can’t believe how much a day can change in 10 seconds!

I had my early appointment with the oncologist which I was dreading so much. Not because I was expecting something horrible from that appointment, but because I was so sleepy that I didn’t want to leave the house.

I don’t know what is causing me to not be sleepy at bed time, but it is killing me. Both Sunday and Monday nights I couldn’t fall asleep until at least 1 am. Since G gets up at 6:10, I get up also.

I was dragging around here yesterday morning. I finally got myself out the door - 15 minutes late. In my rush, I picked up the list of things to take to the SSB ( we are hosting the dinner at Wide Spot in the Road Club) instead of the handicapped placard (I TOLD you I was sleepy). I was hoping the valet parkers would be there, so I had the extra set if keys to my chariot with me.

Alas, when I arrived, there were no valet parkers yet. I guess they come to work at 9:00. When I checked my bag for the placard, it was not there. The list sat there in the bottom of my bag and gloated at me. I was parked in a handicapped space, and as I looked around, there were no close spaces. My knees preclude much walking, and the chemo drug from the first round still sends my heart pitter patting without much exertion.

Then I remembered! I still have my dad’s placard in my glove box. Just because it expired in 2005 shouldn’t deter me! I turned it over and placed it on the dash. And I was off and just in time for the appointment - nothing to spare for a change.

The oncologist was there when I was taken back, but he made me cool my heels for 45 minutes anyway. As I aired my laundry list of complaints, he wasn’t too concerned. He just prescribed more steroids. This time 5 pills before chemo and 5 after with the hopes that my joints won’t freeze up again. But I can’t believe the amount I am now going to get. I really hoped the chemo would help me lose some weight, but with all those steroids forget it!

After I left the doctor’s office I was going to that little French boutique - Target, but without my placard, I decided not to do that. I went to the computer store instead to have the lap top fixed. I had been without Wi-Fi since Easter. I left Gertrude with them and went into the store for a printer cartridge and a fire wire for the video camera. As I was leaving, they stopped me at the service desk. The "problem" with Gertrude was s simple use of a function key. That’s what turned the radio back on

So I get in my chariot, turned the key, and there was an explosion under the hood. A little smoke rose into the air. My car was dead. Absolutely dead, The first thought was G was right - we are in the market for another car (that being brought on by my having found a bad place in the upholstery). I called him at work because my phone was running on a low battery, and there was no using the car charger because the car was, remember, dead.

I asked him to call our mechanic to send a wrecker because I didn’t know how long my phone would last. He said he was coming instead.

K had been calling me without me answering for about an hour. She finally left a disparate message telling me she thought I must surely be in the hospital. I called her back - again - this time leaving her a message that my car had just exploded. She left work to sit with me.

The explosion was the battery. I don’t know what caused it. The mechanic just called to tell me the car is ready. Finding out what was wrong should be interesting.

After waiting for the wrecker and then taking K to lunch, the day was shot. So I have played catch up today since we are off to the SSB tomorrow.

So I am still itching, the port still hurts, I had to get all the groceries for the dinner today, and I will go to see Lady Bug in a kindergarten program in an hour. Situation normal.

Ouch - part 2

I think I was gleefully expecting to breeze through these next chemo sessions without any problem. It seems that is not going to be the reality. The muscle/joint pains are easing somewhat, and, although I am still not comfortable, I am not reduced to tears. My lower back, hips, knees, and ankles are still hurting quite a lot.

Yesterday I was experiencing a sharp pain around the port. Today there is still some pain which I will certainly bring up to the oncologist on Tuesday. I don't think it is really serious - at least not serious enough to call the doctor on call. I am concerned though.

I reread the information about this drug. Now I know why they gave me benadril through the IV. This one can and has caused some severe allergic reactions. I have very sensitive skin. I am having break outs on my hands, and I think it is due to the chemo.

At least there are only three more. Of course, then I begin on the pills, and I have heard they have their own set of side effects. I get them for five years, but as leeann said, the reverse side of the coin is a different matter.

I'll get through this and stop whining soon.

Ouch!

Last night, we got a lot of rain! I mention this because I'm not sure if it was the change in weather, the new chemo treatment, or the Neulasta, but I am really hurting this morning.

My joint are killing me. This is new. I've not had this kind of reaction before. But there are too many variables right now to figure out what is causing the pain.

Oh well - only three more treatments. I'll make that - easily.

Trade off

I began the new treatment in chemo today. I no longer have to go on the second day for IV fluids and the Neulasta shot. I just have to get the shot. What they DIDN"T tell me was that this new drug takes 3 hours! I left the house at 9:15 this morning and walked in at 3:26 this afternoon.

We'll see that the effects of this drug are. I didn't have trouble with the others, and this one has been promised to be better tolerated.

I was surprised that I got IV Benadril. I think I'll toddle off for a little nappy-poo. See ya!

How sad

Facts are facts. I must face the reality that the relationship that I considered to be my best friend has finally died. I cannot administer life support anymore. I am so sad.

I really thought this person was really my best friend. I have always been there for her. When her mother died, I provided food for her family and those who gathered after the funeral. When Dad died, nothing.

That statement sounds petty. I’m not out to get more from a relationship than I give, but that was just an example of how this "friendship" has been going.

She and I taught together and were practically inseparable. I retired and she went into IT work. We would email, which is really silly. We live four blocks apart. I knew her hours were early and long, so I respected her rest time and didn’t call. I would wait for her to call me.

Now she has been "downsized." There were promises of getting together, etc. She said she would go with me to my chemo and so on. I have not heard from her.

No I lied. I have caller ID. She DID call once - when I was at chemo. Childish as it sounds, I decided to see if she would call again. Nope.

So I have come to the conclusion that this relationship should be declared deceased. It hurts. I am in mourning for it.

What I Did on My Spring Vacation (partially)

Yes, I am still alive and kicking. We returned from our trip Friday afternoon. Saturday was spent simply resting, and yesterday was church and family dinner.

Our trip to Chicago was literally fantastic. We were able to take a very special trip there. We belong to an organization here through which we were able to take private rail cars to Chicago, The man who owns these cars has a motto that is so true. It’s not the destination, it’s the trip.

The cars were a sleeper car and a living room/dining room/observation car. There were compartments in the sleeped that had a suite bath between every two. The shower was full sized with a glass enclosure and full tile. The toilet was also full sized - unlike the "new" sleepers that are on Amtrak The living room/dining room/observation car was so plush. Most of our time was spent in the observation car.

There were ten of us aboard these two cars, and there were three crew members. Two "car attendants" and one chef. The crew treated us like royalty!

We left Houston from the Amtrak station about 11 pm. We were scheduled to leave about 9, but the train from New Orleans was late. Imagine that. We were headed to San Antonio where we would be hooked onto the Texas Eagle. That meant that we would have wait time in San Antonio regardless of when we arrived because the Eagle isn’t scheduled to leave San Antonio until 7 am.

Sleeping wasn’t really an option once we were underway. The track between Houston and San Antonio is so rough. If you aren’t used to the rocking and rolling, forget a sound sleep. Once we got into town it was easier, but I missed my fan!
The trip to Chicago was wonderful. Breakfasts pretty much cooked to order and served in the booths in the observation car. We had lots of scenery to look at and enjoyed lots of conversation - when people were not on the back platform sounding the whistle!

The second night on board sleeping was much easier. Exhaustion took over. More scenery the next day and our arrival in Chicago was only an hour late.

The weather in Chicago was beautiful. When we arrived on Sunday, everyone was out and walking or sunbathing. The traffic on the Magnificent Mile was horrible because of that!

When we were to turn on the street with our hotel, we found it to be blocked by three fire trucks and an ambulance. Fortunately it was not our hotel. A guy in a condo in the next block fell asleep and set his mattress on fire. It added to our excitement however!

What a great break from chemo! Four more to go. I’m over the hump. And I still love Chicago.

Here and there

This week is hectic, but it is the last of the really hectic ones. This is the last of the double drug treatment and no more of the fluids the next day. I still will have chemo every two weeks, but I only have to go for the injection(s) the next day!

Adding to the hectic nature is packing for Chicago on Friday. I keep hoping we will hear something about any limit on luggage. I don’t know which bags to pack
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I am really random in thinking today! My mind just flits from place to place. I hope this is not indicative of what is to come this week. I have way too much to do. I can’t afford to be flitting from place to place.

I was hoping the new drug I would be on for the next four weeks would be easy. That was until I talked to a woman at chemo today. Her regime is the same as mine, and the .one I will be starting has been hard on her. My mantra will have to be the same.. Everyone reacts differently. These hard ones have been fairly easy
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Well, see you in about a week and a half.

What do you want?

I can honestly say that I really do love my sister in law. We get along famously. She is quite a dear, but . . . If you are a Dr Phil fan, you would know that he would say that this is my real feeling. I guess it is, even though I would still do anything in the world for her. The but is I'm not sure how much common sense she had. She is in real life Dr Psychologist, so we know the book smarts are definitely there.

The reason I am doubting common sense is that I got an email the other day. They are moving a china cabinet to their house on the next mountains to the SSB. She wants G to help P move it in. OK, not a problemo. Tomorrow would work really well.

They are leaving this morning from the Capital City, with the expectation of arriving about noon. We are leaving Swampland with the expectation of arriving about 5:30. Wide Spot in the Road has its community club meeting this evening at 6:30. It is a covered dish dinner. I have to warm our dish. She wants help when we get there.

Um, we still have to get Simone settled and the house opened. Does M really think we are going to stop by their house, and then get to ours. After a 5+ hour drive? Don't think so. I told G we would stop on the way to WSITR. Knowing my brother in law, he will have the thing moved by 1 and it will be set up with dishes in it by 2!