Conflicts

Growing up, I felt as though I had two sets of parents. A little over-kill there! One child, four parents. So holiday times meant sharing time with the "other parents." My other parents were my aunt and uncle who lived about a mile from us. It just became a natural thing.

When G and I married, here came a whole other family. And extended family. We really had to spread ourselves thin - especially at Christmas. We had my family, then we had his family. That meant that in addition to the regular things I was used to at Christmas, we had at least two more celebrations to work in. One was fairly easy - the whole family, three kids and two in-laws, would be at his parents house for our family Christmas, then off the A Litter Bigger Town for the extended family Christmas - which was mother-in-law's family. A trip of about 2 hours. Just long enough to mean overnight.

I am used to having to be stretched thin for holidays. I am a little upset that our nuclear family doesn't seem to be able to have a family Christmas any more. Since daughter in law has her mother living with her, they (crazy Cajuns) celebrate with their family BOTH Christmas eve and Christmas day.

It's not that we are excluded. Just the opposite. We become members of that family. It's really great fun.

I just would like for the grandchildren to have their extended family to get together for their presents. It's not happening - again this year. I thought we could have the usual family dinner on Sunday night. This one very light and easy, but Lady Bug, Monkey Boy and, to a certain extent, Doodle Bug could open all their presents with everyone together.

DIL stopped that one. She said they had church that evening (which I knew), then she had a house full of relatives (also which I knew). Well, yes. But they will be there for a week. Or more. I had just hoped for a couple of hours with them and the others.

Oh well, K and S will bring the kids here tomorrow and things will proceed pretty much as planned - but without the aunt and uncle. Perhaps when they add to the grandchildren things will change.

We will just wait and see. And perhaps hope too.

Hope you have your family close and enjoy your time with them. Things will be fun regardless of when and where here!

A better woman? And other musings

To some extent, I have gotten over my raging snit that erupted at father-in-law's funeral. But I am finding that I still really don't care to socialize with G's mother. These hurt feelings go back about twenty five years. I thought they were put behind me, but she delights in re-opening old wounds. Even her sister mentioned how difficult she is to live with. But neither she nor the hurts are worth taking up space. It is what it is, and will be forever. Does that make me a better woman? I doubt it.

Anyway, I was hoping that I wouldn't be keeping Doodle Bug at all today, but I have her for a "couple of hours." I really have so much to do, but at least she is into naps, unlike her sister and brother. So I get to spend time here with you!

Daughter, K, just turned 34. At that age you would think she has some sense of responsibility. Ha! While we were away, I was to work on a baptismal napkin for our church (I need to complete one today and get it to church for Sunday also!). I finished it and gave it to K at the funeral so she could bring it back. She had two good days, Thursday and Friday, to take it to church. I reminded her early on Friday.

When I called home to check for messages, the church secretary had called "to see if there was a problem." When I talked to K on Saturday, I again asked. When she hesitated answering, I knew there was a problem.

For some reason, my home answering machine turned itself off sometime Saturday. Because of that, the messages went to the phone company's answering service (that I HAVE to cancel - I keep forgetting). When I got home and realized what had happened, I checked that service. The secretary had called at 6:30 pm Saturday night. The napkin was still not there.

I just kept my mouth shut about the whole thing this week. Finally yesterday, K admitted that she had forgotten. She told me she made sure that she got up really early Sunday morning to get it to church. So much for responsibility!

If I don't make it back before Christmas, which is a real possibility, Merry Christmas to you all. I hope your holidays are filled with joy.

Conflicting emotions

We are back from father-in-law's funeral. We stayed the week at the SSB.

I have been wrestling with whether or not I should write about the experience. It was not good.

I am trying to understand it I am making a mountain out of a mole hill or not, but I was very upset by things that occurred.

The relationship with mother-in-law had been stormy, and I thought that was over, but now I really am wondering again.

I realize this is quite cryptic. I wrote up a post while we were gone, but I am not sure I should post it. I may just sound petty. Don't know.

Oh, December.

I am beginning to really hate December. My mother died thirty three years ago in December. My step mother died four years ago in December, My dad took really ill two years ago in December, but managed to hold on until January 13.

This morning at 3:30, my father in law died.

We will be out of pocket for at least a week. We are going to the SSB as our headquarters for the funeral in the Alamo City. In the long run, it is cheaper to pay for gasoline than boarding Simone and staying in a hotel. Besides, we sleep in our own beds.

Hope your Christmas shopping goes well if you are still fighting the crowds. Stay safe.

Freedom - for a day

I am going to sound like such a wuss! I had to go to K's yesterday to watch Doodle Bug because she had a dentist appointment, and the second repair person was there to fix her floors (another BIG story!). I only had to be there an hour. Today I don't have her at all. I feel so free. It's wonderful.

So why don't I tell K to put her in day care? Mainly because I'm, as I said, a big wuss. I know I'm helping her out. But that's not the whole story. I really think Doodle Bug is just too young to go into day care. Four and a half months is just too young.

The other factor is that since Thanksgiving, she refuses a bottle. Sure, she gets hungry and SCREAMS, but she does then go to sleep. She naps. The other two didn't. They took the bottle, but they slept for fifteen minutes - if I was lucky.

Things will get better when she can sit by herself. Then I can sneak out to the grocery store or other places that have baskets with the seats in them. Right not I am pretty much house-bound with her. I just don't want to fight the car seat thingies that go from car to wherever. They tend to stick on the baskets. Plus, I don't have the strength I used to have. Seat + baby = too much weight.

So I guess I will just relish today (I think she will be back tomorrow) and keep her here in the house until we can be easily sprung from the house. By next July or August, she will be in day care. It will all work out.

News from the attic

Father in law is not doing well. He has been moved from home hospice to short term in house hospice. He is not sleeping which means that he gets up at night. When he gets up he falls because his feet are so swollen from the edema resulting (probably) from kidney failure.
G and K went to Alamo City Saturday to see him. He really didn’t know them. G suspects that some of the problem may have been that his eyes were dilated. I think they were dilated because of the drugs he has been given to encourage sleep. They don’t work on him. At all.
Doodle Bug went with them. She was an absolute angel! She slept the entire way there. She never uttered a peep. She might do that for me - if she accepted the bottle again. Since she did without for four days at Thanksgiving, she refuses the bottle. Things are rather noisy here at times. The kid has a good set of lungs on her!
Sunday we showed at our little surburb town’s holiday outing. It rained. We made a whopping $16! I also believe we were among the most successful vendors. Well that is with the exception of the people next to us. K spent over $30 with them buying Christmas decorations! But we had more customers.
When I was talking to d-i-l C, I found that their friend’s mother whose cancer has returned never went for her follow up checkups. She has been off Tamoxfen (I guess that was the one) for two years. She has extensive return of her cancer. She still is refusing treatment. That is such a shame.

I made the mistake of not having my mammogram done for all those years. I'm not making a mistake like that again. I will make each and every one of my appointments!

Life is pretty much the same around here day in and day out. Doodle Bug is here about six hours, then I spend the rest of the evening recouperating! How dull, but at least it's life!