Friday, August 29, 2014

Mean old woman

I guess that's what I am becoming.  I find myself tending to see all the injustices.  Then I get mad.  I think I need to take heed to the song from Frozen.   I need to "let it go."  But instead I find myself harboring these feelings and they fester.


I need to just accept that my son is becoming a stranger.  When we talk on the phone, it isn't the same as it used to be.  Conversations are just stilted.  That is WHEN we have them.

After spending a week at the SSB with our crazy neighbor who is out there building another road next to the existing one because he is apparently mad at the other neighbor gets to me.  We are caught in the middle of that one.  He has tried to deny us easement through his property at all, and had to allow the other people easement.  So he is building a road that will be the easement.  But the road he is building is going to be a terrible road.  Geesh!

I am really worried about my SIL who lives up there.  She is there alone except for her remaining dI think her drinking has gotten out of hand.  She said she woke with a black eye and a finger that really hurt - probably broken - and doesn't remember what happened.  Her son was there, but they were in the hunter's cabin.  As  it turned out, she had to have a pin put in the finger (G drove her to and from the hospital).  She is broke.  I don't know where her inheritance has gone.  She has let the house go to pot.  It is in terrible condition. Her parents are probably rolling over in their graves - or would be having a fit if they could see it now.  She says she is broke.  She only has a cell.  She has given up her satellite TV.  I don't know what is going to happen to her.  It is well known she has a very addictive trait.  She has been in "trouble" more than once.  I just pray someone doesn't find her OD'ed some day.

So I am in a great mood today.  And I am really going to make an effort to "let it go" and be happy.

Tonight should be interesting.  G sent a rather scathing letter (email) to Pastor telling him we were not happy with the little kingdom (literally and Pastor is the King) that is our church.   He told him we should have a church council with committees, the Pastor should not be involved with the finances of the church, and he needs to stop appointing his "yes" people to this Council of Elders that never has open nominations.  Tonight we will be there for the "Trivia night" we have one a month.  Should be verrrrrry interesting.

I am so glad to be home - but it is short lived.  We will be leaving again on the 5th.  This time we are headed to New Orleans, Chicago, and eventually Glacier National Park by train, and then drive home.  G is thrilled.  Last night on "Wheel of Fortune" a contestant said they had been traveling for six weeks.  He said he would love to do that.  I just cringed!

I am becoming such a home body.  THIS home. 

So - I will stop my complaining now.  Hopefully I will look on the bright side more.


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

From the land of the slooooooow internet

We have been here since last Thursday.  We - minus one black kitty.  He decided that he was going to hide before I could get him ready to go in the carrier.  So, he has had the house to himself.

It is HOT here.  But then it is late August in Central Texas.  And this part of Central Texas is in the semi-arid desert like place.  So this is no surprise. 

Now begins the petty stuff.  On Sunday I got a text from my son.  You know that I have long accepted the axiom about "a daughter is a daughter ... and a son is a son..."  I try to be very accepting of that, but this time I was pushed too far.  He had the audacity to send a text (a TEXT mind you) that was quoting his Father in law.  It was that he was looking for a day type lease to do  about a four day/three night deer hunt for the FIVE (FIL, his three sons and Brian) of them and would we be interested in letting them on here - and if not did we know anyone who would do that?

Now - why did that make me boil?  First - Brian hasn't set foot on this place in about two years, and even then he only comes every other year. Even when they would come here, they would stay about two nights, and head off to FIL's place that he then had fairly close to here.  (He sold it last year)  Second, in this time, they have spent two weeks at "camp" with them (it is a Baptist retreat in Louisiana where they are two-faced.  The alcohol flows freely with the exception of the service at night), a cruise for a week, and most recently at the beacn for a week.

I should just let it go, but I am so angry.  I can't believe Brian would even bring this up to me.  I have thought about this at length, and I really believe I am going to tell him how I feel.

I accept they are going to be closer to her family.  It happens.  Her mom and dad divorced quite a while ago, and she was not close to him for years.  He is a controlling SOB.  I am sure that's one reason Ginger divorced him.  So he wheedled his  way back in after the first baby, and has been throwing his money around since to pull them in.

My feelings have really been stomped on.  I am angry and hurt.  I am about ready to tell G that when we aren't able to come up anymore to care-take, we just sell it.  Krissi and all are too busy to commit to make the trip, and Brian just doesn't seem to care - unless it's to bring four other people who could end up taking 15 deer from the place.

I just don't know what's going to happen when we are gone, but then I guess I won't really care.  I need to just "let it go!"



Monday, August 18, 2014

Blinded by the light

Not really, just seemed appropriate since I have just returned from one of the many appointments with the various physicians in my stable who keep this body going!  This one was the regular eye doctor, as opposed to the retinal doctor whom I see once a month.

I guess blinded by the light is a little appropriate for two reasons.  One, she uses that awful bright spotlight at the end of the session to look at the retina, and two, I had to have my eyes dilated.  I am always "blinded by the light" for quite a while!

Tomorrow is the long awaited appointment with Dr Poison.We will see where I stand with the Ca25.27 levels.  Come on chant with me "lower, lower, lower!"  Since I am getting so good at complaining, I am going to complain about the pains in that side of my torso.  I really think it is all the scar tissues that are there from the mastectomy and reconstruction.  But it hurts, and I am really tired of pain!

As I am writing this, I was supposed to be back at the cardio doc for the reading from the Holter monitor to check for the irregular heartbeats other docs have picked up.  The monitor was supposed to be shipped to me, and it never came.  So Friday I changed that appointment since there was nothing to read,  AND since we will be leaving Thursday, I am not going to call the  office to tell  them it never came.  I will wait until our return.  Besides I really am not looking to wearing one of those with its five leads for 24 hours. 

Today's appointment was for 8 am, and of course since rt was Sunday night, I couldn't fall asleep.  This is a strange phenomen that occurs most Sunday nights.  I don't sleep in on Sunday - in fact we are up earlier than usual for church.  I don't nap - usually I am cooking on Sunday afternoons.  And we didn't have family dinner (I was sick of cooking on Sunday afternoon - Brian and Christina had just spend a week at the beach, and Krissi and Steve didn't step up to the plate!).  But I couldn't sleep.  I had to be up at 6:30.  That smacked way too much of my teaching days!  Plus since the offie didn't call to remind me as usual, I was hoping I really did have an appointment this morning. 

When I was making the next appointment, she asked if I wanted a Monday again.  Sure.  Did I want 8am again, uh no!  I will fight for parking and if I have to pay to park in the garage.  I don't understand why the old professional building has FREE valet parking, and this one required payment to park!  But my body is no longer on a 6 - 6:30 wake-up schedule.  Never in all my working life did I become a morning person.

So this afternoon - it is time for a pedicure!  Yeah!

Friday, August 15, 2014

Oh the sports!

Karrington just turned 7.  She has now been through two water polo practices.  Amazingly, she is still enjoying it.  Perhaps she has found what she wants to do.  For the longest time, I thought she would be the cheerleader for her older siblings.  Cheer was her passion.  I really don't know if she can hold the tears off long enough to play water polo.  She IS prone to crying - a lot.

Reagan is saying he likes football.  I said he is saying because after the first practice, I was not sure.  His dad is back from his trip, and they went to practice last night.  I think you can read between those lines.  I believe today they practice with full pads, and the temperature is going to be August normal for Southeast Texas.  Hot as a pepper, and humid as a steam room.  We will see!

I have been working on getting the old Dell laptop set up for being the computer for my embroidery designs. I have to remind myself that I have accumulated these designs over a seven year time period - at least.  AND I add some each and every day.  Finding ones I like that are free has become a passion.  Addictive personality and all.

I finally had all the designs loaded on it.  Now I have to open all those zip files of the downloads I haven't addressed in a couple of years, delete all the extensions that are not my machine type, and put them into the proper folder so that I can find them!  I STILL have a long, long way to go!

Tomorrow is going to be a very  early day.  Clyde goes west of here about an hour for a very important training session.  He is going through snake training.  He will be trained to recognize snakes by sight, sound and smell.  With all the durned rattle snakes at the SSB, this is crucial training.  He was supposed to be through this last October, but cold winter descended upon us early rendering the snakes too sluggish for training.

We will have to watch this training that entails a shock collar.  All his previous trainings haven' t been adversion training.  But when I think of what a snake bite would entail this is pretty simple.  So many folks up there have lost their animals.  Regardless of them living through it or not - if treatment is sought out, there is a big vet bill with it.  We never let him go without a leash because of all the cactus, but the one time he was close to a rattler, he was trying to sniff it.  Thankfully it was during cold weather and the snake was so lethargic.  It was stretch out against the concrete retaining wall to try to get some warmth.

So early to rise tomorrow!  Have a good one.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Delightful day

Yesterday was really a great day.  And now I will proceed to bore you with my great day.

It began with what wasn't so wonderful.  I had to go to the grocery store.  I have gotten to really dislike going to the grocery.  But it was either that, or I would have to go out to cut grass and harvest grape leaves for greenery!  But I went - without a smile.

On the way I stopped to send back the "old" new camera with the cracked LCD on the back.  As I read the fine print, I may not get the $71 for it.  Well - we'll see.  The guy at the post drop was so funny.  I told him I would have to buy some clear tape because I didn't have any to cover the shipping label.  He whipped out his tape dispenser and began to cover the top of the package with clear tape.  He moved toward the cash register.  I thought he was going to charge me for sending it.  My expression remained unchanged, but my mind was thinking - "he's going to charge me for tape AND shipping."  After a bit, he put the camera in the package, and with a twinkle in the eye just said thank you.  He was clearly playing with me.  Sweet man. 

At the store, the man in produce was working hard filling the lettuce part.  It looked so pretty - all fully stocked and neat.  I told him I hated to take any out of the display because it certainly did look so pretty.  Made a big hole.  These days we eat a lot of lettuce.  Well, G said I eat a lot of lettuce, and it's true.  When I make salads for lunch, I make large ones.

I laughed as I was making my way through the aisles making sure I was checking my list and coupons.  They came on with the announcement that in two minutes they would be giving away a product to those shopping right now.  It is something that isn't on the shelves.  Hurry over to the end of aisle 12 by the meats, there is only a certain amounts of the free item.  Blah, blah, blah.

No one around me changed direction to hurry over there.  No one seemed to be paying attention.  And I have heard this announcement before.  I was unmoved.  A little curious, but not enough to run over to the end of aisle 12 by the meats.

When it was time that I got there, those five women were listening to a spiel about a cleaning product.  Same thing I saw them demonstrating the last time I heard them do this "give away."

Got home.  Unpacked the groceries.  Heated the po'boys that a greatly loved sandwich shop in the Houston area puts in some grocery stores, and settled in for the afternoon that I was looking forward to.

G was going to be leaving in a bit to take Reagan to the movies.  I. HAD. THE. AFTERNOON. TO. MYSELF!  They were going to see "Masters of the Universe" or whatever that movie is.  While I had heard great things about it, it just isn't in my genre of movies.  And if that's the case, I see no reason to spend the big bucks on it.

He was going to take the girls, but Katie wasn't really interested.  I think she was still licking her "wounds" to her pride, and it was determined that there were too many "monsters" in the movie for Karrington.  So they stayed home and baked cupcakes.  So I didn't have to babysit them either.  Not that it would have been a problem - they are easy.

I wasted devoted my afternoon to perusing my Facebook groups.  I finally weaned myself from the games, but now I have about a million machine embroidery groups I follow.  Facebook, you dastardly thing!  You really pull in all of those of us with addiction tendencies.

Even dinner was easy.  When I put my great find of a pork shoulder that was big enough for family dinner and low priced into the freezer outside - I spied a container of Creole Shrimp.  DINNER!!  Rescued the rice maker that has been put away since Simone's passing, made some rice, and we had a great dinner.  Some bolos (bread) would have been great, but we still managed to force it down.  It was so, so good.

While G was gone, I found some lessons on the digitizer I have, and printed them off.  I like to think he is the one who uses all the ink in the cartridges.  Never let him know that I sometimes print off what is close to a book!

It was a great day!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Your kids watch

Even when you do things that you may regret, they watch and model after you.

Back many years ago, Krissi went out with a couple of boys we knew very well.  I wasn't happy about them going to a Country/Western dance place that did allow under-aged kids in along with the adults.  She had a curfew of about midnight.  I think that's right - may have been a little later.

There were a couple of reasons for that curfew.  One - nothing good happens after midnight.  Two I had to be up early to play early services at a church 30 miles from home.  I needed my sleep.  When my kids were out - I didn't sleep until they were home.  That's why I always liked having the "slumber parties" right here.  I didn't mind having bodies strewn over my den floor at all!

So she and the guys were out.  Her curfew time was approaching.  Then it was past.  This was  before the proliferation of cell phones.  In fact the huge bag phones were the ones that were out.  IF you were lucky, you had a brick phone. 

When she finally arrived, I grounded her.  She plead her case that she couldn't get the guys out early, then I think the truck was blocked.  I guess I was unreasonable - but the grounding stuck.

She still remembers that.  And I am sure she is still very bitter.  But those guys knew me well.  They should have known I meant business.  To rub salt in the wound for her, I think one of the guys kidded her about the grounding.

So where am I going?  Katie had a similar problem.  She went to Galveston with about six of her friends and one's parent. They were to be back here at noon.  (Ummmm - something about that 12 o'clock time).  I couldn't take the other two so Krissi could go to work because I was at the cardiodoc. 

Krissi was really angry.  Probably if Katie had not texted her mom at 2am telling her they were once again playing with the Ouige (spelling ??) board it wouldn't have been so bad, but she did.  Don't wake your mom from a dead sleep especially when you and your dad are out of town!!!

I don't know it Katie is grounded or not.  I know they "talked" about it.  I know that Krissi knows that it really wasn't all her fault - she can't direct an adult to get a move on to get home.  But every time Krissi talks about this - she remembers when ...

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Musings for the day

Since I don't post comments to my own page, I am wondering if it's Blogger or the individual who has changed the way you post comments.  On a couple of pages, I have made at least two attempts to post a comment.  On one - I just gave up.  It may or may not be well known, but I do have two Gmail accounts.  If I am in the "wrong"one the signature on the comment is different.  Imagine that.

That in itself will cause a problem when trying to post a comment because I want to change it.  What is happening is that I write my comment, go to publish, I choose my account, then my comment is gone - vanished.  So if I am not commenting - sorry.  I guess I will have to see if my blog does the same thing to folks.

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Went to the cardio doc.  Told him about my problems with other doctors telling me I had an irregular heart beat.  Even at the hospital when I had the colonoscopy.  I was afraid they wouldn't do the procedure, and after I had done the prep I would have been really upset.  So now I get to wear a Holter Monitor for a day.  At least when it gets here.  The one they had at the office didn't have any leads on it.  AND I get to go back next week for the results.  Couldn't they just mail them or phone me???  Parking there is a nightmare, and this appointment is for 11 am.  Uh, and AFTER my 8 am appointment with the opthalamologist.  My grand total of appointments for next week is standing at 3 right now.
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I wanted to sign up for the Patient Portal they have.  There must be 14 million trying to do the same thing.  I would type in two letters for something and it would take one, if I were lucky.  Then I got completely dumped.  So I guess I will have to start over with another phone call for a "temporary" id number.  Geesh.

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Really need to go to the grocery store.  We have no lettuce, tomato, or anything else for salads which we are now eating at lunch especially.  No fresh veggies which are becoming a huge part of our meals.  I just really don't want to venture out.  Been out once.  That should be enough.  I am a hermit after all.

So I will now take all my whining and try to adjust my attitude.  Have a great day.