Monday, September 11, 2006

Forgiving or not

K and her family were late to dinner last night, but that is not something unusual. I was getting a little concerned because she is not normally 30 minutes late. Plus, I was getting hungry!
When they got here and the pizza was distributed, we sat and talked. She had called the In Laws. She could tell she got MIL by herself. She said FIL was outside with the blasted dog. MIL told K she was absolutely miserable, and she was sure that they had made the biggest mistake of their lives by moving back to the house.


When K told her that FIL told his sister he was happy, she responded that he certainly doesn’t act like it. He is still just as grumpy as ever. He doesn’t seem happy. Now I am worried that he will become a mean dementia patient. I was lucky with my father. As he descended further into dementia, he became more mellow. I just don’t know what the future holds for the In Laws, but I do know that there is a crisis looming even larger on the horizon.

The good thing that came out of the conversation was MIL admitting she never treated K as she should have. It was obvious to K all through her life. All of the cousins are close in age. K and her cousin are the furthest apart with there being three and a half months difference in ages. B and M are only about two weeks apart.

During the summer months, the In Laws would ask to keep the kids for about a week, and they would have all four for a week. It was so obvious that MIL deeply favored E. Everything was done for E. Even Christmas presents were along what E wanted. There was never any thought given to what K wanted. The In Laws would travel to Austin for all holidays and birthdays, never to Houston. But it was that way for G growing up. He was the least favored child, and that attitude carried over to his entire family. I was never treated as well as my sister in law.
I was so happy for my daughter that she finally received the confession she needed. MIL told her she never appreciated K for all the things she did. Now she sees that K is a loving and attentive granddaughter. I hate to be bitter, but it’s about time. It’s just a shame that the realization finally came as MIL is facing her death. Death bed confessions just don’t do it for me. But my daughter has such a big heart. She can forgive all the hurting times from her grandmother. Good for her. I’m proud. It is more difficult for me because not only did she hurt my children, she constantly has hurt her son, my husband.

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