Friday, August 26, 2011

Odds and Ends

There are some things I really don't address here anymore, and cancer is one of them.  I know it is in my information section, but I just don't really write about it.  That doesn't mean that the thought isn't always in my mind.  All I have to do is take a shower or otherwise change clothes.  I see the scars.  Yesterday, I was changing clothes and got a terrible cramp in the muscles in the area where the mastectomy was and reconstruction took place.  Reminder?  You bet!

Then I have an appointment with Dr Death in September.  That always brings you back to the reality that regardless of the fact you are getting close to the "magic five year survival,"  it might come back.  With the other things that are going on right now, I have to wonder.  My headaches - withdrawal, sinus (since Texas is turning to flying dust), brain tumor ...

There is pain in that right side of the thorax.  One of our dear friends had her breast cancer return and that was a symptom.  But then I think there is some nerve damage from the muscle being pulled from my back to my breast.  But I will bring it up in a couple of weeks.

I sound like such a whiner.  But these thoughts live in the recesses of my mind.  G went to the bank to try to deposit some of the monies from his mother's estate.  They pulled out an actuarial table.  He was told he has 18 1/2 more years.  I wonder how many I have?  Do I really want to know?  Aren't there far too many variables in my life?

OK _ enough gloom and doom.  I really believe if I don't think about the Little C it will just go away. (Dreamer!!)  G is still wandering around here mumbling "global warming" with every news cast.  I have tried to explain to him that we have a variety of factors involved with the weather, and yes, we humans have done a really good job of ruining our environment, but he is absolutely sure the high that settles over  Texas in the summer (last for sure and apparently in the future) is caused by coal burning electricity plants.  Now it would make more sense for us here in Texas, where there is an abundance of clean burning natural gas, to use that gas for powering out plants.  But that would mean the politicians ( and I don't care if they are Democrats, Republican, or Tea Partiers - all want the same thing - re-election) would have to use some COMMON SENSE.  That is lacking in each and every one of those jokers in political offices from local school boards to the White House.

Oh, right - I don't become political here.  Forgot. But I do think they are all clowns, and when you cut through the outer BS, they are all the same.  Just deeper BS.

So I sit and listen to him complain about global warming and ranting that he will not stay here next summer.  He will go somewhere else.  I finally told him the other night that I wasn't going.  I didn't add that I wasn't going to come home to find the house falling down on our heads because the slab dried out and cracked into 50 million pieces, the pool was the Black Lagoon - at least the four cups of water that would be left, and the pool equipment burned up because there was no water going through it.  Stupid!

Oh - here come the men in the little white jackets to pull me off my soap box.  Sorry!  Sometimes I get a little wound tight.  This is one of them.  Time to go play nice again.  That means three loads of laundry before I head off to sew dresses.  Yep - still put that baby off.  What excuse can I find today?  Gotta go look for one. Later ...

Peace be with you.

2 comments:

JuJu said...

I think this is the perfect place to post about your thoughts. And, your thoughts include fears of the little C, Dr. Death (love that name) and anything else going on in your body and life. If you keep it all in it will consume you. Let it out baby!

Will it ever rain in Texas again? My son is in Austin. He said he's DRIED UP. I highly doubt that, but hey, it IS Texas, anything's possible.

I pray for rain and some peaceful sleep for you my friend.

Kathy said...

Cancer is so annoying!!!